Discover Top Posts Tagged with #caligo's post

Piss off.

Just because I'm a middle does NOT mean I can not say fuck or cuss if I wish. Do NOT baby me. I am not a child that wishes to be coddled. I can act as grown up as I want. Fuck anyone who says otherwise...

#caligo's post #naofumi's co-main #rex/starlix is resting

Large vent, because I am sick of it. -Cal

Tw/Cw: Mental/Emotional abuse, neglect, lying to medical professionals, unhealthy attachment, abandonment issues, brief mentions of a s^icid3 attempt, manipulation, mentions of grooming accusations, slurs (We can reclaim but not the person who said them), hicky mention, medical neglect, ignorance, and medical ignorance.

I remember for an entire summer we were practically locked outside from 12 pm - whenever HE (our step-"father") chose to let us in (If he remembered). If we wanted water? Another 15 minutes. Food? Another 15 minutes. The bathroom inside? Another 15 minutes. It pisses me off. It was so hot. We had to be moving the entire time. If we rested it was more added time outside. We learned archery, which would be cool if he did not take our bow mid-way through the summer calling it "insignificant/insufficient work." We walked and walked and rode our bike. As if being outside was a job. Now we hate the outdoors.. We used to love it. He has always said we were "special"/derogatory when we messed up. When we got diagnosed autistic? Retarded. Always special or different, never normal. Simply due to the fact we would mess up or not understand something. This started at eight. When he threatened divorce? We were a therapist for our 'mother' he threatened to leave multiple times. Which terrifies us. He uses our abandonment issues to his advantage. He knows we grew up without a father for 3-4 years, our early years! He knows it scares us. We did not talk about it, too scared to rock the boat, too scared to affect our siblings. We were thirteen and acting like an adult. He has raised his hand at us. Then got pissed when we begged him not to hit us. Saying "Why the fuck would you ever think that?!" Then he blamed our friends. To him friends are a privilege that can be taken. Isolation to him is a solution. If we are isolated then we can be controlled. I have vivid memories of a man leaving and us sobbing at a window. Our mother says it never happened. She was in the damn room! Says it was just a dream. We used to wake up screaming in our sleep. We wet the bed. We had frequent night terrors when it was just us and her. She says most of it never happened. We chocked ourself one night as a ten-year old. We woke up the next morning with bruises around our throat. Our mother brushed it off as hickies. FUCKING HICKIES. WE WERE TEN. She noticed our signs of depression at eight and did nothing, absolutely nothing. When we went to get tested for DID they lied to the psychiatrist about our trauma. Lied that we had never been mentally and emotionally hurt. Lied, saying that we never fell into hot coals at three or that we cut our forehead open! Those were traumatic fucking injuries. A lot of family members say that our uncle is grooming us because we show him a slight bit more affection than most of our other family. Since we TRUST him since he treats us like a PERSON. We are a fucking object I swear. An object to be ruined. Our grandpa blamed us for putting him in "compromising" situations. Then when we put a knife to our throat he told us to fucking do it! That if we wanted to suffer, to just do it. That if we wanted to be in the hospital, do it. Then he called us a coward. An emotional manipulator for crying! We were so upset, so hurt. I am sick of it. Sick of feeling wrong to eat because our father managed our diet as a child and still does. Sick of wanting to die. Sick, so sick.

#caligo's post #naofumi's co main #tw: vent #vent post #mind the warnings

Imagine that the logic of the summer vs. winter coat phenomenon in nature gets applied to the werewolves in the quarry. Just those skinny naked asses getting fluffyfied during winter!

The Hacketts would have a lot of shedding fur to stuff some pillows with that’s for sure.

#the hacketts #the quarry #the quarry game #the quarry headcanons #caligo's post #caligo's headcanons #yes I’m salty about the werewolves don’t @ me #like they just look like burned wendys from until dawn #give them some uniqueness pls #also yes I’m getting wound up in the characters that I probably shouldn’t

One stress/anger indicator that I believe Miller would have is bouncing his leg a lot. Like all the pent-up energy just gets sent down and his foot was mere seconds away of becoming a drill whenever he was on the brink of a breakdown.

#colonel miller #metro 2033 #metro headcanons #metro 2033 headcanons #caligo's post #caligo's headcanons #an advice given to every rookie: ‘if u see the colonel’s leg bouncing vacate the perimeter immediately’#but also after the battle of D6 Miller is recovering in bed #and while unconscious his leg is still moving in that familiar way as if it still was there

I dont know if you still care about Nilfgaard and LGBTQ rights, well they are pretty Roman. ;-) ;-)

Since the last time I talked/posted about Nilfgaard and LGBTQ rights especially centred around transsexuality (which was on Sep 19th last year), I have dived a little bit more into the topic! So, I encourage you to buckle up because I’m getting out the sources, lmao x’D

Like you mentioned anon, the Nilfgaardian Empire is heavily inspired or rather based on the IRL Roman Empire. When I was searching for sources about general thoughts/opinions on transsexuality in Ancient Rome, I came across this blog entry. As the text by GVGK Tang states, roman society was male-centred. So, if an AFAB individual ended up being a trans male, it probably would have been easier to accept by the public rather than AMAB transitioning to a trans female.

One ancient Roman story that has been my inspiration for an upcoming Nilgaardian OC of mine, is the story of Iphis and Ianthe. Iphis was AFAB but was raised male by his mother after his father announced his plans to kill the child if it turned out to be female (bc of the whole “A girl is a heavier burden, and misfortune denies them strength” mindset going on there). This is a clear example of how deep the “male role” was engraved into the overall society of ancient Rome.

At the same time, I also thought about the mindset around gender roles in both ancient Rome and another “related” community, the Spartans. In both societies, the female was responsible for looking after both home and family (roman pietas familiae) but at the same time, women of Sparta had more freedoms and are known to be more independent compared to their counterparts in other parts of ancient Greece. Nonetheless, Spartan women couldn’t attend the military, like their male counterparts and had the overall pressure from the state to birth more male children for the Spartan army.

With that in mind, the overall idea of gender roles could potentially be something that the Nilfgaardians are also “following” so to say. How much of in real life information/norms a fictional empire and society needs to have, is of course up to debate. There is clearly a lot of roman influence in the Nilfgaardian society and overall shape and form, though how much we truly need is solely based on the author’s wants. The original source and information about Nilfgaard as an empire, does not mention anything about the LGBTQ+ community or anything close to that matter, which leaves us, writers with a free imagination!

Hope I didn’t bore anyone to death with this, and if there is any unclarity in the text or anything like that, I will gladly edit/talk about it! Also, I’m no expert when it comes to both historical and LGBTQ rights, so if there is anything completely wrong or wrongly interpreted, please hit me up! <3

#nilfgaard #the witcher books #the witcher saga #caligo talks #caligo's post #caligo's headcanons #caligo answers q.#technically it’s just musings but gonna tag this hc #hope this wasn’t totally boring #I haven’t touched anything with nilfgaard or anything overall about this topic for a while #so I hope I just didn’t make an idiot outta myself oof #like I said don’t hesitate to smack me if I wrote/said smth stupid

#caligo's post #caligo's favorite characters #caligo talks #i got myself into deep shit with a editing project #so here ya go smth to have fun with I suppose lol #pavel morozov #emiel regis #nikolai zinoviev #sevika #emily kaldwin #elizabeth comstock #garrett thief #miller #ruvik

Hey, just checking in. I hope you're doing okay. Wishing you luck.

Hey anon and anyone who has been wondering what has happened with me.

I got this ask before Christmas and before I go any further than that, I want to apologize for being “MIA”, life has been a little overwhelming lately. Nothing to bad but the social battery of mine has been going on fumes for a while. Besides that, there’s also the fact that it’s my last year of high school and after that there’s university, so I have been buried deep under the work lmao. I’m fine really, I feel like getting back to the usual bullshitting lol. Not entirely on the same frequency when it comes to things I have posted before but I hope to be more active from now on.

Once again sorry anon for taking so long to writing this down, I thank you for both the wishes and for checking on me! I truly appreciate it!

#caligo's post #caligo talks #caligo's info #it's good to be back

Holy fuck I just came home after I went out with my dog and ended with calling the ambulance to a man without consciousness

#I can still feel the adrenaline #holy shit that was tucking scary #caligo's post #caligo talks