#camp feels

[camp-counselor-life]

Does not working at camp ever get easier? Not going back next summer for the first time in 13 years (4 on staff) and the hole in my heart keeps getting bigger. I can’t imagine a day going by without missing camp

So I thought long and hard about this, and I can't say for certain that it will get easier for you, though it did for me, but it will get different.

What I mean when I say different is the immense ache and hole in my heart left by leaving my CITs and the lake and campfire smoke and all that, that grew not more painful, but into other feelings towards camp.

It's a nostalgia, it's a bittersweet sadness, but it's also love. A love that I carry with me and (probably) always will. I know people in their 40s, 50s, 60s that carry this with them.

I couldn't imagine a day going by without missing camp. And I do still think about camp (not as much, but I do a lot). But now, instead of an ache, it's a smile.

So best wishes in your first summer away. That one is the hardest. Camp will always be with you, and that pain will soften.

[asthemagpieflies]

That’s how you stealth camp. Bam. 

[camp-counselor-life]

I think it's important to be able to separate mission from people carrying out the mission of your favorite organization, at least a little bit.

You can still love what your old camp stands for, even when they have a director that you don't like.

You can still love your former youth organization, even if the CEO's vision doesn't match what you believe in.

Your memories, your love, your passion, none of that goes away because other people do something different.

You can love your memories, and hate the modern, love something you hated when you were younger, or love them at both times, in different ways, and all of that is valid.

[camp-counselor-life]

2024 Summer Wishes

Dearest camp friends, I send you to camp this summer with these wishes:

May your fires always burn bright and light on the first try.

May you see wonder at camp, whether in the trees, the sky, the water, or the children whose lives you are changing.

May your work make a difference.

May you come away from your summer inspired and changed for the better.

May you have laughter, light, and joy.

May your summer be spectacular.

Love, camp-counselor-life

[camp-counselor-life]

I think this is an odd song to draw a lot of comfort from, but Third Fence Post has a really important place in my heart. From singing it at closing campfire with my CITs to helping me cope with COVID, it's been along for the ride.

Right now I'm really struggling. There's not much I can do about it, because it's really medication based, and I therefore must wait for the medication to be balanced. Some things do help, like drawing, walking with an audiobook, and (oddly) playing the french horn.

But I started singing today, a bunch of stuff, but then I landed on Third Fence Post, and it felt right. It said to me, hey, you're not leaving right now. You'll still be around.

So anyway, having feels over a camp song this afternoon.

[camp-counselor-life]

Sometimes I think about all of the friends that I didn't make, or friends I lost along the way of life. Especially camp friends, where the bond was so deep. Like, I saw you every day, every summer, for years. I danced and sang and had fun with you.

And now I see you post about your kids, your marriage, your job, and we haven't spoken in years.

It's a hard thing, because I would absolutely pick up with them right where I left off. I'd love that. I'd love to feel that again.

I'm not always lonely. I actually am doing a lot better. But sometimes I think about the people I lost along the way, who aren't gone but they are, and wonder what went wrong.

[camp-counselor-life]

Today, my old council announced that they are selling off my old camp. The camp that I was a PA at, ran a Just Juniors camporee at, did my Bronze Award at, and spent my first two years as staff at.

The council spent years allowing my camp to fall into disrepair. When I worked there (2013-14), things were falling apart and every year when I visit it’s no better. It is a good little camp - day camp and troop camp.

I’ve spent the afternoon thinking about this. After coming to the conclusion that I cannot express my disappointment publicly to GSNWGL, I can express it here.

They are selling off 3 camps and 2 office properties in favor of expanding a more limited number of facilities and creating a mobile unit. In their email it sounds much nicer, they’re “divesting” from properties. This is a fancy way of saying that it isn’t worth it to them to maintain these resources. My boss says this isn’t uncommon right now.

So I am sad. Sad for my loss, and sad for the loss of generations of Girl Scouts to come. This camp isn’t my home now, but it was a place I felt at home.

[camp-counselor-life]

I found this on the internet.

Camp Counselor Pledge

I am a summer camp counselor.

I believe that camp takes us back to the basics. I believe in the power of silly games. I believe in the impact of group songs. I believe in the magic of handmade crafts. I believe in the value of outdoor cooking.

I believe in the different camp makes in our lives. I believe that by playing with others, our heart grows. I believe that by empowering others, we become leaders. I believe that by building teams, we create life-long connections. I believe that through safety and fun, we build trust in ourselves and others.

I believe that camp is camp because of the people there.

I believe in camp. I believe in campers. I believe in being the best camp counselor I can be.

Image ID: the above text with a gold and navy border and a Campfire logo at the top, and campfire icon and tent with a tree icon at the bottom. End ID.