#camp friends

[camp-counselor-life]

I gave my friend a felt "pocket mouse" that I made for her two month trip to South America and now I get photos of Pocket texted to me from across the world.

[wordsicanonlysaytostrangers]

There’s a vulnerability in anonymity.

There’s a powerful kind of intimacy between those who know their paths will never cross again.

I think my father was wrong. Some secrets are not best shared with family. Some secrets can only be whispered into the stubborn ear of a stranger, into the unknown mind of a newly-met person who says “I am here and you are here and that is that” who says “this is my life and that is your life and this is true” who says hello only once and goodbye only once and only once, for only one moment, is the only person you can trust.

Sometimes there are words that can only be said to strangers.

[silk-and-light-and-shadow]

My favorite type of friendships have got to be camp friendships. You live together for a while in the summer and develop a crazy close friendship, then after camp you talk every once in a while or not at all, then when you come back to camp you’re just as close as you were before and it’s fantastic

[nowthisnews]

When your BFFs roll up unannounced... 😭❤️

follow @nowthisnews​ for daily news videos & more

[tiedyeandcampfires]

[camp-counselor-life]

Sometimes I think about all of the friends that I didn't make, or friends I lost along the way of life. Especially camp friends, where the bond was so deep. Like, I saw you every day, every summer, for years. I danced and sang and had fun with you.

And now I see you post about your kids, your marriage, your job, and we haven't spoken in years.

It's a hard thing, because I would absolutely pick up with them right where I left off. I'd love that. I'd love to feel that again.

I'm not always lonely. I actually am doing a lot better. But sometimes I think about the people I lost along the way, who aren't gone but they are, and wonder what went wrong.

[camp-counselor-life]

I'm listening to Jenette McCurdy's memoir (lmk if you're considering it, there's some major trigger warnings and tbh I'm not sure I would have read it if I'd known), and I'm near the end and she said something about thinking your friends at the beginning of your 20s will be lifelong friends, and then they're not.

Let me tell you, that hit like a train.

[camp-counselor-life]

I’m a second year junior counselor at my camp and I’m two to three years older then the first year jc’s I’m working with this summer. Last summer I was more close in age with my Jc group but even then I was feeling a disconnect between me and them. Like I was a cit 2 with a good majority of them and the others I already knew as well but I felt a disconnect between all of us and I felt very left out. Now I’m trying to bond with my Jc group before our camp week but I’m feeling like I’m grasping at straws to connect with them and not be the super annoying second year. I don’t want to feel left out again but I don’t know how to connect with people that I’m so much older then and haven’t really known in the past but have to jc with this summer. For reference I’m much closer in age with a lot of the staff then the jcs but covid screwed up me going on staff when I was supposed to and I really struggled last summer as a jc so I’m doing it again. Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Hi friend,

First, let me say, as an autistic person, I am maybe not the best to be giving social advice. What I can speak to is the camp environment, so here's my suggestions.

It is ok to not connect with them prior to camp. Participate in conversation on whatever medium you're using, but don't try to force it.

When you get to camp, it is ok to start with 1-2 people that you know better and work your way out in socializing. Getting to know just one person well will be super helpful.

Just like with making friends and socializing in the "real world," you should practice active listening and ask open ended questions. However, you should only start more in depth conversations when it's an appropriate time. Appropriate times: time off (not resting or trying to rest), meals during training (if you have that)/away from campers, downtime at training. Not appropriate times: during training sessions, with campers, the exception to that being when you're doing get to know you games with campers.

I think that it's important to still be yourself. If you try to force yourself into a box, you'll falter or stumble at some point, and it's hard to recover after half truths and lying.

As much as it sucks and hurts, it is ok if you don't make a quality connection with your fellow JCs. It sounds like you're young enough that a couple of years makes a huge difference in life stage and maturity. Sometimes that's just hard to overcome. Try, of course, but be gentle with yourself if it doesn't work out.

It's hard for me to give more specifics without knowing about your JC program, as it sounds different than ours.

Take care and have a great summer.