A Time of Regrets.
Kaldur'ahm: -Sitting in the training room, off to the side, elbows on knees and hands tucked under chin, brows furrowed, deep in thought-
Dinah Lance: -walks into the room and sees Aqualad sitting alone with a pensieve expression. walks over, puts her hand on his shoulder- Kaldur?
Kaldur'ahm: -turns and looks up to her, sitting a bit straighter before nodding his head to her in acknowledgment- Black Canary. -he offered a small smile- I take it you are here for grief counseling? -he knew it had to be why she was at the Cave. All missions and training had been cancelled the night before.-
Dinah Lance: -returns the smile- Yes. Mind coming to talk to me?
Dinah Lance: Kaldur'ahm -she calls softly, waiting for his eyes to meet hers again-
Kaldur'ahm: -Slowly looks back up at her, frowning slightly-
Dinah Lance: -raises an eyebrow at the frown- Come talk with me. You'll have to eventually.
Kaldur'ahm: -takes a slow but deep breath- As you wish. -he begins to stand, rolling his neck for a moment before gesturing that he would follow-
Dinah Lance: -nods, satisfied. she turns on her heel and walks to the room where she was giving grief counseling to the members of the Team. The same room where they had done trauma counseling after the training exercise a few years ago. She sits in one of the green chairs, motioning to the other one- Please sit, Kaldur
Kaldur'ahm: -Closes the door behind them and takes his seat, leaning forward in his chair to resume the position he had been in when she found him, though now he looked up at her to show that he was paying attention-
Dinah Lance: So, Aqualad. . .how are handling. .things -inwardly groans at her own slight hesitation. Dealing with one's own grief was never easy, but it was harder helping someone work through their own.-
Kaldur'ahm: I am...fine. -he says slowly, not finding any better words for how he felt-
Dinah Lance: -frowns, not believing him- Really. So, you are completely 'fine' -using his own word against him- with seeing a team mate die? With having to take down Nightwing to keep him from dying as well? No issues whatsoever? -she asks incredulously-
Kaldur'ahm: -cringes slightly- I did not mean... Losing a member of the team..is terrible. -he looks down- And I did what I had to... to keep us from losing another. I am not saying... that what happened...there was nothing more I could have done. And I have made peace with that.
Dinah Lance: -she briefly closes her eyes- You did what you had to -she acknowledges- But that doesn't mean you don't have guilt about what happened because of it. . . Do you?
Kaldur'ahm: -his hands falling from his chin, looking up at her with sad eyes- I feel guilt.. because of the burden I had put onto Nightwing that night.
Dinah Lance: -she flashes back to a similar conversation about leadership being passed on. Her expression softens- Kaldur, you couldn't have known what would happen. Or. . .Do you still feel that Nightwing is too young for the position? He's as old as you were when the Team made you leader.
Kaldur'ahm: I knew he had a soft spot for Robin. I saw it in our training. I should have made sure.. -he paused, taking in a deep breath- He's not too young, but.. -he shakes his head-
Dinah Lance: But what, Kaldur? -she prompts softly-
Kaldur'ahm: I don't know. -he looks down, eyes closing- I could have waited. Waited until it was a mission that wasn't his home.
Dinah Lance: It made sense, though. Making him leader for that mission. -she defends his decision to him- It's his turf. He knew the area better. . .And I don't think that him not being the leader would have made it any easier on him -She adds as and after thought, but not really able to say 'Robin dying', so using 'it' as a euphemism of sorts-
Kaldur'ahm: The outcome would have been the same. That is true. But it would have been easier if he didn't have to try to think of the mission. If I had been in control, I could have saved him that struggle and he could have gone home with his family.
Dinah Lance: If you had been in control, you still would have had to fight him tooth and nail to keep him out of that building. -she responds- Besides, Batman still would have wanted him to finish the mission -she adds, shaking her head slightly at the man in question's work ethic-
Kaldur'ahm: -he shook his head- You are correct. Not much would have changed. -his tone saying that his mind stayed unpersuaded-
Dinah Lance: -she notices the determined disagreement in his eyes, his voice- Do you feel like you could have done something differently? Aside from making Nightwing leader?
Kaldur'ahm: -eyes avert downwards- Like you said, not much would have changed. I simply wish I could have taken some of the burden and not had so much weigh on him that night.
Dinah Lance: -she sighs knowing that she can't really get more out of him. She knows that Aqualad won't be so much dealing with grief as anger and bitterness over what he could have done more.....better-
Kaldur'ahm: -slowly lets out a breath, sitting back in the chair- I'll take back the charge of leader. Only until Nightwing is ready for it once more. -his tone was definitive, decisive, despite the pit in his stomach that told him he may always be the leader. That, he may always be stuck with the hardest choices. However, he would take that burden over seeing his friends, family, stricken with grief again. Anything to lessen that pain.-
Dinah Lance: -she sits straighter, she mouth hanging open in shock- I....Kaldur...are you sure? This is a big decision.
Kaldur'ahm: Nightwing must grieve. If forced to lead or take charge now.. it would only inhibit his healing. -he looks up at her, jaw set-
Dinah Lance: -she's taken aback by the sacrifices the young man is willing to make for the sake of his team mate- Kaldur. . . he's lucky to have you. As a team mate and a friend -she says softly-
Kaldur'ahm: -lightly shakes his head, a small smile coming to his lips- No... I am lucky to have /him/. All of them. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep us this way...
Dinah Lance: -dips head slightly to hide her somewhat motherly smile-
Kaldur'ahm: -Swallows slightly- The others.. how are they? -he asked quietly, already dreading the answer-
Dinah Lance: -meets the Atlantian's gaze- So far, you are the first I have been able to talk to.
Kaldur'ahm: -nods slightly- They will talk to you in their own time. This is hard, and no doubt it will take time.. for all of us. Thank you, Black Canary.
Dinah Lance: -she smiles, a little taken aback. It was definitely the first time someone had ever said that after talking to her- I- You're welcome, Kaldur.
Kaldur'ahm: -nods his head- You have always been here for the team in times of despair. It is not any easier on you than it is us, I am sure. -he sits up- May I leave?
Dinah Lance: Of course, Kaldur -nods, and motions her hand to the door-
Kaldur'ahm: Again, thank you.-bows his head to her before leaving-










