#candy meta

[candyskiez]

Y'know when I went into mp100 I wasn't expecting to get hit in the face with "flawed kindness is better than no kindness and it's better to start becoming a better person for selfish reasons than it is to do nothing because you think you're beyond redemption and keep hurting people" but I am not complaining.

[defectfoundinthelosingside]

whos narrating candy?

spoilers for both meat and candy under the cut

in terms of the epilogues exploration of narrative, metanarrative, cannon etc... and putting the general plot and characterization fuckery aside (which is. A Lot to put aside honestly but bear with me);

if meat is narrated by dirk and alt-calliope via jades body, are we given all the information we need to figure out who, if anyone, is narrating candy? did i just miss who it was bcus i wasnt paying attention or somth or is this a genuine narrative question we’re supposed to ask?

because. i cant think of a single encouraging version as to who might be controlling the candy narrative if im honest sjfsdjhf

for instance, if its still alt-calliope via teen-jades corpse... since alt-calliope at least PRETENDS to be impartial and leaves the characters SOMEWHAT to their own decisions and devices, that would imply that the characters in candy, or at least these post-several-timeline-jump versions of the characters in candy, are all mostly making these awful damaging decisions themselves? including eg the sudden bringing back of gamzee out of the blue for instance, which is repeatedly presented by john as a sudden and nonsensical decision made by roxy and ‘our’ calliope anyway? considering this and some other things in that half of the prologue im not sure its even a viable option...

(on a sidenote, is john just immune and quicker to notice narrative pressure (like how he notices his thoughts arent rly his own several times with dirk)? is that why he notices roxy and cal acting so weird so quickly? is that also why dirk almost... ‘lets’ him die, kind of? the actions of ‘our’ caliope are kinda mysterious as well, right? ugh so many questions)

the other thought i had was that the candy narrative was supposed to sort of be controlled by the fandom in which case..... the levels of insulting that would be is unspeakable frankly. but like. considering candy was at least assumed to refer to the sickly-sweet shipping-oriented narrative a lot of fandom seems to be associated with in other media.... maybe? if its this tho then frankly the epilogue is cancelled in my mind bcus its already real close yall lmao

but aside from those two options im sort of drawing a blank since dirk in the candy timeline literally kills himself because he knows that he can’t influence the narrative and so??? that sort of rules out alt-cal too in my opinion because dirk managed to deal with them in meat somehow and pull off his plan so why not here too? i just dont KNOW guys

[candyskiez]

Wait no I'm not done. Thinks about how Mr Spider is portrayed as insatiably hungry. Thinks about how Jon's hunger gets worse and worse to the point nothing seems to satisfy him. Thinks about The Spider in strung out saying "If only you could see the strings that bind me, that wind together as they pull me along my own path. Perhaps then you would not blame me so." Thinks about how because we view the story from Jon's perspective, we see him as a victim, which is correct. Thinks about how the people who he took statements from saw him as a horrifying man who stole their worst moments from them for his own gain, which is also correct. Thinks about how so many of the avatars are both horrible people and victims of circumstance who maybe, maybe would've improved if things had gone differently. Thinks about "Staring over the table, a memory now tugs at FRANCIS, the faintest residue of an earlier time, when the things before them would have brought a genuine joy to their heart and even a temporary peace. A time when the hunger was sharp and real, not this dull, unending ache that does nothing but propel them towards one grotesque act of consumption after another." Thinks about the spider motif in tma and how it relates to Jon. Thinks about The Tragedy of Francis and Jon and the parallels. Thinks about. Thinks.

[candyskiez]

can we talk about how garnet most likely got the story of the rebel hero rose quartz and the cruel pink diamond that created her from rose herself and how pink is described as a coward, cruel, wicked. and how rose told greg it's good he doesn't know anything about her. and how rose felt like she owed greg a list of everything shed ever done wrong. and how rose didn't tell pearl anything about what she did because she couldn't bear to lose that love. and how rose didn't think how her actions would effect pearl and in trying to destroy the part of herself that she felt did nothing but hurt and ruin everything and deserved to die, she hurt one of the people she loved the most. can we talk about the fact rose is a self fulfilling prophecy and destroyed herself twice. once asking pearl to kill pink diamond. and then by having steven. and how both times, it was out of love for change and hatred for herself. and wanting there to be someone better in her wake. and out of fear of what she'd done. and how at the end of the day her story is a tragedy because she believed everyone could change and become a better person. the only exception she had ever made on that was for herself. because she knew she used to be a horrible person and the one thing that scared her more than anything was the fact she didn't know how to fix it. so she didn't. she ended it all, and she prayed that the child in her wake would be a better person. because she, fundamentally, thinks she's irredeemable. and the only good thing she could do now was give her life to someone that deserved it.

can we talk about the fact that rose fucking quartz would rather die than try to confront the people she hurt because she thinks the only thing that'd do would hurt them more. and she can never learn to see the good she did as well. because all she thinks she does is hurt.

can we talk about the fact that rose isn't a twist villain, she's a fucking twist tragedy. oh my god. this fucking SHOW.

[candyskiez]

Me: Hey, it's that show I kept seeing ads for in 2018! Maybe I'll watch I-

She ra: Abuse isn't as simple as being born bad. It's a learned trait that is extremely dangerous and hard to stop. Even the most likable, trust worthy seeming people can be abusive. Someone can love you more than anything and abuse you. Abuse isn't just hitting. Abuse isn't just a sad backstory, it changes how you view the world and yourself and every relationship you have. The idea that there's a set point where you become irredeemable is dangerous, not because you're not allowed to not forgive but because deciding you're beyond forgiveness so you might as well just keep digging is extremely destructive to everyone around you. It's important to recognize abusers can love not because that means you have to forgive them, but because you need to acknowledge you are capable of abuse. And that you can stop. You can change and become a better person. Bad traits are often learned and you are not static, no one is. The most dangerous thing is to view the world as black and white or unchanging. Even people who started out kind and loving can become abusive. Even people who started out cruel and abrasive can become gentle and kind. Good is not a constant thing. You don't get to act however just because you were Good in the past, so you will always be good. You are not irredeemable just because you were bad in the past, you can keep going and change it. Good and bad are not static. You are alive. You have a choice.

Me:

[candyskiez]

Thinking about Martin Blackwood tonight lads. Do you ever think about how he views himself as someone with very little actual agency and he's the one who ended the story. He's the one who killed Jon. He views himself at first as someone who cannot affect events at all because nobody gives a shit, because he's trying so hard but everyone's just IGNORING him even when he wants so badly to fix this. He at first has no agency because of circumstances. And then when he chooses not to go with Peter, suddenly everything falls apart. All his choices leading up to this, choosing to make a plan to get rid of Elias, choosing to assist Peter, avoiding Jon, avoiding everyone- they all led up to this. So he's just very nervously stepping back and trying to fit back into The Caretaker. He tries to deny himself agency. Hell, he describes himself as the anti christs plus one for gods sake. And when Jon actually asks him to make choices, or acknowledges that yes Martin is the one who wants to make this decision, not Jon. He freaks out. But him attempting to just not Do anything and just sit back doesn't actually help. He still hurts people even when he disappears from their lives, or just tries to make Them make the choices he wants to make. And this makes his conversation with Also Martin so so interesting. He can't avoid making choices just because he keeps making the wrong ones. It doesn't mean nobody gets hurt. Thinks about Martin's view of himself as someone with No Agency vs how much affect he has on the story as a whole. His introductory episode is when the plot gets moving even!

He views himself as someone who has no affect on other people. His choices reflect that a lot of the time. When faced with the fact that yes, even when he's trying to not do Anything, he still affects other people he doesn't exactly handle it well. He affects so much, for better or for worse. He both is the reason Jon didn't end the entire world and he hurts so many people while thinking his actions will do Nothing for anyone but him. Do you get it.

He goes up to the panopticon, still expecting to just delay until they can stop Jon. But Jon does exactly what he told him to do. He listens. When Martin chooses not to leave, Jon tells him to end it. It's just. It's SO. He views himself as never being the focus, as it never being about what he wants, as the anti christs plus one, and he is when we start learning about the plot and he is the one who kills the protagonist do you GET IT. I'm sorry I am currently chewing on walls.

[candyskiez]

Remember when mp100 said "you need to look your own worst desires and flaws in the eyes and recognize where they're coming from and why you have them if you want to grow. You need to look at the angry little kid in your head and accept that this is a part of you. You need to acknowledge your anger if you ever want to let it go. You need to look at that angry little kid and nurture them and be kind to them if you ever want to grow. You cannot hate yourself into being a better person. You need to care for that part of yourself. You need to nurture it if you ever want to heal, or you'll always be hiding from yourself." Because personally I want to eat a wall

[candyskiez]

I don't know how to explain why but the Teru vs Mob fight literally would not have been so gutwrenching if they hadn't drawn it like. That. Like. They're so clearly kids. And it's not gorey it's just. Impossible to forget that the violence is horrible and extremely painful for Mob and that this is serious and this isn't a fun game, neither of them are having fun, this isn't a cool anime battle they look like children. Teru is just a kid who's a bully and who's scared that this literal other child isn't acting how he's Supposed to and he doesn't know if he's a threat. And mobs just a kid whos so scared and doesn't want anything bad to happen. You cannot forget at any moment of the fight that nobody is having fun.

It's just hard to watch. It's just two kids having a horrible day because both of their trauma is getting hit in the face and it's awful and seeing ???% isn't cool or a relief its just. Oh, he's freaking out. Oh, he's in. So much pain. Him defeating Teru wasn't exciting or good it just Happened and obviously you're glad Mob survived but it's just so fucking brutal.

And then Teru really romanticizes it, because. It's good. It was a good thing. It was a very good thing. It saved him. This is good. Kageyama is good. This wasn't horrible or traumatic or the worst day of his life. He needs Mob to be Perfect so he can hide from how horrible everything that happened was. He cannot face what he did as something horrible, it's just the events in a story. It was just a Big Anime Fight he lost. It's fine. He learned from it so it was a good thing. He could've died but that's fine. His entire school came apart before his eyes but that's fine. He could've killed someone but that's fine. His entire world view was flipped on its head and he was alone but. That's. Fine. He needs it to be Good. So he pretends it didn't happen usually. He doesn't apologize because that's not how stories go. Even though he had nightmares about what he did. And he massively romanticizes Mob's powers because he NEEDS to. It's the only way he can make that fight not "we could've killed each other". He absolutely cannot see Mob as anything other than Incredible and Wonderful or his entire world view and self image fall apart. Again. He like duck taped them back together.

But in confession arc he looks at what's happening and how everyone is so horribly affected and terrified and he finally admits to himself: I am terrified. This is terrifying. This is a painful, horrible situation. I don't feel good. He's not the main character. All of this is awful and I hate it and everyone hates it and he probably does too.

I could've died. He could've died. That was horrible. That day was horrible.

And by admitting to himself, that day was horrible he can actually HELP mob. Because he can admit that Mob was crying, not because he's a wonderful saint who wanted to save him but because that was a horrible experience! All of that was horrible! They both just had probably the worst day of their lives up until that point! (Except for the Ritsu incident) And he was crying. And he sees that Mob was alone too. Mob was MISERABLE. His powers terrified him. Mob wasn't gifted, none of them are, it's not a story, it's real life and Mob was a person with flaws. And he can admit this all really happened, and it was bad. I need to take this seriously. This is maybe the first time in his life he's ever let himself understand the gravity of a situation. But he saves everyone. He protects everyone.

And he couldn't stop Mob. But he could be there. He could scream at him I AM HERE, I CARE, WE CARE, YOU CAN COME BACK FROM THIS until maybe something worked. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe he was going to die. Because this is a horrible situation.

But he can tell Mob not to underestimate him. That he wasn't being weak. He just didn't want to hurt him. He just cares about him. And he's sorry, he's so fucking sorry for everything he did, and he will NOT do it again, no matter what. And he wants to be better. And he gets it now. They're both just people. They're equals.

By the way all of this started because I saw an screenshot with a joke edited in and remembered how fucking horrifying it was to watch Mob get strangled. Anyway. Goodbye now. I think about these two every second