#candycornbones

[addictedtobeinghimself]

@candycornbones. cont from here.

“What, was that my reward for not calling you adorable?” She mumbles, a soft smile gracing her lips.

Sherlock shrugs.  ❝ Maybe this is me scolding you. ❞

[of-tea-and-cardigans]

💐

He stood numbly at the back of the chapel. He was still in shock that this had happened at all. Jaymes shouldn’t be dead. She’d beat the odds. She’d walked away mostly whole and unscathed. She fell in love, got married. She shouldn’t be gone. Her husband was speaking. He was reciting a beautiful poem, one she’d taught him, he said. Sherrinford barely heard a word of it.

He couldn’t speak. He was supposed to. He knew he was. He was Jaymes’s best friend. Henry had asked him to speak, but he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even stay for the entire service. His feet carried him out and around the back of the chapel. He leaned against the back wall, trying -and failing- to hold himself together. He slid down until he was seated with his knees up to his chest and sobbed.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, just allowing the sobs to wrack his body. Each one tore itself violently from his chest until he couldn’t breathe. Then he would gasp, sputter, and get enough air to sob again. He wanted to throw something against the wall. Break something. Punch something. Kick something. It was so incredibly unfair that Jaymes had fought so hard her entire life. Had never expected to find love. Hell she barely accepted it when it found her.

But she did. She’d let someone in and she’d loved and allowed him to love her in return and Sherrinford had been so happy for his friend. And by some cruel, sick joke, the universe ripped it all away. She had so much more to give and instead she was taken.

Eventually he knew the service had to be over. He felt like he’d been crouched behind the chapel for days, but knew it had to only have been hours. The sun had just started to set, coloring the sky a beautiful orange-pink. Slowly, he made his way to her grave. He let out a choked sob when he saw a cemetery worker shoveling the last bit of dirt over his friend. The man looked up when he heard him and mumbled that he was sorry for his loss before packing up his things and leaving.

He still couldn’t speak for a moment. He was glad at least to see that Henry had been in charge of her epitaph. Her dark stone read:                                                                    Jaymes Bond                                                                My shooting star                                                                    1980-2015

“I’m so sorry, Jaymes.” He said hoarsely, shaking his head. “This should never have happened. This isn’t fair.” He sank to his knees in the freshly turned dirt. Reaching out, he laid a hand on her grave stone. “You were my best friend and you deserved so much more. I love you. And I miss you already. I-” He bit his lip as more tears fell. He thought vaguely that if he didn’t stop crying there would be nothing left of him. “I hate having to say goodbye so soon. I wanted us to be old and visit each other’s nursing homes. I wanted to embarrass your children with stupid stories. I wanted to listen to you proudly tell me about your grandkid’s performance in their school play. I wanted you to have all those things. I’m sorry.” His words were quickly dissolving into unintelligible sobs. “I’m sorry I couldn’t speak in there. Or be with everyone after. I just- I needed to say goodbye to you alone. You’re my very best friend, Jaymes. Goodbye for now. I know we’ll see each other again.”

[magnetiis-blog]

@candycornbones

     “ Jaymes? ” Erik swallowed hard as he watched the blonde        carefully, almost certain about what was in her hands. He         was torn, not sure what to feel, “ What’s that? ”

[magnetiis-blog]

I’d like to point out that three hours ago we were laughing at Erik’s jimjams and now we’re just ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVEN???

[magnetiis-blog]

How to ship with me -

THEM: FUCKEDY FUCK FUCK

ME: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK

ME: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

THEM: FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKFFFUCUUUUUCKCKCKKKUFUUCKKCKCFUCK

ME: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUUUUCKKKKKKFUCKEDYFUCKEDYFUCK

THEM: HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVEN

ME: I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW

[magnetiis-blog]

I AM NOT OKAY

[of-tea-and-cardigans]

🎼

This might be a little sappy, but you should be used to that by now.

[of-tea-and-cardigans]

“Did you just cough– blood?”

He brought the back of his hand down, staring at the blood dotting his skin. “I- oh-” He said faintly before sitting down heavily, still staring at his hand.