Who’s the highest maintenance out of the boys in your protagonist ships?
After looking up the definition for high maintenance, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt it's Melli.
Avery is also, albeit to a lesser degree. His shameful status as the family disappointment leads Avery to demand the attention of Gloria, the woman who appreciates him as he is even when that inferiority-superiority complex of his is on full display.
Although Avery has gathered a sizable fanbase for a Gym Leader in the minor division (to the extent his face is featured on a t-shirt), the adoration of a million fans could never satisfy this craving for his rival, friend, and lover's affection.
Both boys feel as though if Gloria and Akari don't look at them they will literally learn Explosion and faint, but at no point in time does Melli mellow out by even the slightest amount. And were a functional phone (from a space-time distortion) ever to fall into his hands, he would become far more of a menace than he already is.
To his credit, he discovers how to use the device (as well as what a factory reset is) before his Clan Leader, or anyone else for that matter, can pry it from his possession.
He's acquired a method of communication that allows him to instantly engage in conversation with Akari no matter where either of them happen to be in Hisui! Surely utter chaos isn't destined to become the result of this development! Additionally, for the sake of the narrative, please adopt the belief that Mount Coronet's special magnetic field is what allows his phone reception.
I have a clear vision of what would occur: Akari checks her Arc Phone following a few hours of surveying only to be met with fifty messages at the very least, all from Lord Electrode's Warden.
Some are only a sentence or two in length while others take up the entirety of the screen and require scrolling to read the complete text. He also sends her a miscellany of selfies - no less than one is guaranteed to involve Adaman scolding him in the background.
A detail I feel necessary to mention is Melli and Akari aren't initiated in a courtship - the former has simply adopted the belief she's fallen deeply in love with him? However, this isn't an entirely unreasonable conclusion for Melli to arrive at either, since her compliments could be perceived as flirtatious...
Much to the continuous frustration as well as confusion of a certain Clan Leader and Ginkgo Guild merchant.
But regardless, as the messages persist, Melli becomes increasingly desperate for a response from Akari - or as he likes to call her during their conversations when in a pleasant mood:
My Favorite Warden: How is my little noodle faring~? My Favorite Warden: This is the part where you're meant to reply with the events of your day thus far as well as something along the lines of, "Oh, but I will be faring much better, once I receive a photo of the great Melli's brilliant countenance!" My Favorite Warden: I can only assume a sudden bout of shyness has overtaken you, so I'll bestow your own Instantaneous Letter Delivery Device with my image regardless of your lack of response. My Favorite Warden: Which I'm not too upset over, just so you're made aware. Your total lack of response thus far. I can't be when I hold the knowledge you're staring at my words, struggling to write a message which properly conveys your feelings of pure adoration while your endearingly round face is pink as a Clefairy! My Favorite Warden: As a matter of fact, I believe that flustered side of you is cute~. Of course only I, Warden Melli, could provoke such a reaction from one as steely as you! You emotional Steelix! But without any further ado, prepare to witness my unparalleled handsomeness and beauty! My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli winking and blowing a kiss at the camera* My Favorite Warden: I thought it over and decided you deserve a kiss for encouragement! But is it possible my Sweet Kiss has only prolonged your state of bashfulness? My Favorite Warden: I have become convinced this is why you haven't answered a single one of my lovingly crafted messages as of yet. I understand completely. You're thoroughly overwhelmed by the Beautifly fluttering about inside your belly. My Favorite Warden: Whenever those easily excitable Bug-type Pokémon have at last calmed themselves, feel free to add your contributions to the conversation. My Favorite Warden: It can be any statement at all! From, "Why Warden Melli, your amethyst locks look especially luscious today!" to "Oh, how I wish I could hear your melodious voice whilst reading each of these messages! But alas, I must cope with my memory of its cadence, silky as Cascoon silk." My Favorite Warden: But questions will also be accepted! The great Melli possesses a powerful aura of mystery, which should be especially irresistible to someone who originates from another world! So it's only to be expected if you've accumulated several inquiries since the moment we first met! Now is your opportunity to release them all without restraint! My Favorite Warden: I see... You wish to preserve some of the mystique in our relationship. Very well, I'll keep my secrets then! For now, that is. But I'm certain sooner or later curiosity will take hold of you! I'm simply too intriguing. My Favorite Warden: Unfortunately, my painfully shy little noodle, I have to say farewell for the moment. It's time for Lord Electrode's afternoon nap, which requires my assistance. Yes, Warden Melli serenades his lord to sleep! Every! Single! Day! Aren't I dedicated? Do feel free to praise me~ My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli singing at Moonview Arena. His eyes are closed and his expression serene. Lord Electrode is fast asleep with a smile, and Melli's Skuntank, Golbat, and Drapion appear to also be enjoying his song*
My Favorite Warden: Oh, Sneasler's Warden has shown himself... My Favorite Warden: Do you ever ponder what secrets may lie underneath that shabby hat of his? During the exceedingly rare occasions your thoughts aren't occupied by me, that is. My Favorite Warden: What if he's hiding a lack of hair from us all? How scandalous! My Favorite Warden: HE IS!! SNEASLER'S WARDEN IS AS HAIRLESS AS A RHYHORN!!!! My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli fleeing with Ingo's hat in hand while the man in question is standing a few feet behind wearing an astonished expression* My Favorite Warden: The topmost section of his head, to be exact. I managed to capture a brief glimpse of my glorious reflection against the surface! So I suppose there is a positive quality to him being devoid of hair there. My Favorite Warden: Now Adaman has appeared. He's leapt to Sneasler's Warden's defense. In other words, I'm enduring a needlessly lengthy scolding! My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli rolling his eyes, scoffing, and making a 'blah blah blah' motion with one hand while Adaman yells at him in the background* My Favorite Warden: Adaman has ordered me, with so much volume involved it sent the nearby mass outbreak of Rotom scattering in different directions, to relinquish the Pearl Clan Warden's hat. So if you heard something just now off in the distance which sounded suspiciously similar to Adaman whenever he's angered, that's precisely what it was. My Favorite Warden: Well, I had no intention of holding onto the thing for much longer anyhow! The Pearl Clan Warden is suffering from a severe lack of memory (as well as luscious locks like mine), so only almighty Sinnoh knows where it's been before! My Favorite Warden: Adaman has tried to snatch my Instantaneous Letter Delivery Device! On numerous occasions in the past several minutes! Although my superior height and speed have managed to protect it from his clutches, I'm ultimately left with little other choice but to ascend the cliffs of Moonview Arena to ascertain its wellbeing along with my own. My Favorite Warden: Oh, if only you had been present to observe! You would have certainly fallen madly in love with me all over again! Who else but the great Melli would have been struck with the ingenious concept of clinging to his Golbat and having the Pokémon carry him upwards to safety in an instance of crisis? My Favorite Warden: Although it would be lovely, my little noodle, if you were to overcome your shyness or whatever is happening at this instance wherever you are, and convince my Clan Leader he should abandon all present and future endeavors involving claiming my Instantaneous Letter Delivery Device as his own! My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Adaman shouting at Melli from below the cliff, steam rising from his head as Ingo attempts to calm him. Melli's hand is positioned in a way where, due to perspective, it appears as though Adaman is trapped between his index finger and thumb*
My Favorite Warden: It's tempting to assume all this entirely unnecessary noise would wake Lord Electrode, but absolutely NOTHING is capable of disturbing my lord's slumber! No, not even that nearly earth-shattering boom just prior to the sky turning tacky. My Favorite Warden: To think an obsession with dishware could lead to such chaos... My Favorite Warden: In all honesty, I still find the fixation bizarre. Oh, I do understand the importance of avoiding eating out of one's own hands, or more repulsively from the very ground we stand upon! But those plates, after having seen one for myself, they certainly don't seem worthy of such fuss! My Favorite Warden: Some of their colors are admittedly pleasing to the eye, but each one of them is that single color and nothing else! They're monotone! My Favorite Warden: Where is the STYLE?! The GLAMOR?!?! It's truly for the best that silly merchant has left that phase of his life behind. My Favorite Warden: However, it is possible that I, the great Melli, could provide my artistical abilities in order to improve the appearances of those plates you're holding. Just imagine how gorgeous your dining experience will become with the addition of some floral patterns! Perhaps camellias... My Favorite Warden: All I ask in exchange is a kiss or two or a few along with your unending love and devotion. Although I'm well aware I already possess the latter~ My Favorite Warden: On the topic of that merchant whose name escapes me at this moment in time... Except he's not a merchant anymore, is he? My Favorite Warden: The guild keeping someone around who tore open a lightning spewing, frenzy causing hole in the sky would leave a terrible impression on their customers, I can only imagine. And that commander of yours has stowed him away inside that little shack on the beach next to your village? My Favorite Warden: So that merchant who is no longer a merchant- For simplicity's sake, let's refer to him as a former merchant from here on. I once inquired what the secret to his beauty is. My Favorite Warden: Which I DON'T feel threatened by, just so we fully understand one another! I was merely curious, is all. My Favorite Warden: Anywho, his response was he DOESN'T HAVE a secret?!?! Which I simply DO NOT believe!! My Favorite Warden: I would be willing to bet Adaman's earring Dazzling Honey is involved. I've caught sight of that former merchant collecting combs on more occasions than one - therefore, I MUST be correct! My Favorite Warden: Now the remaining question is how he utilizes it in his beauty routine... Not because I wish to implement his into my own, mind you! My Favorite Warden: The great Melli leads, he inspires others with his luminous self! Thus, the great Melli does not follow anyone concerning matters of appearance, as well as attitude. No former merchant with a previous fixation on monotone dishware can ever hope to outshine me!
My Favorite Warden: Still no reply, hmm...? Not even a single word to spare for your favorite Warden? My Favorite Warden: Could this be... GASP! And GASP once more! The Silent Treatment?!?! My Favorite Warden: Well...! My Favorite Warden: Well, well, well! My Favorite Warden: Welly well well! My Favorite Warden: Well welly well well, well well welly! My Favorite Warden: TWO can play this little game, darling! My Favorite Warden: From this point onward, I refuse to speak another word to you until I receive a sincere apology for this grave offense! My Favorite Warden: ... ... ... My Favorite Warden: ... ... ... ... ... ... My Favorite Warden: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli visibly huffing with his nose turned upwards, a prominent pout on his lips as he side eyes the camera* My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is of Melli posed with his arms crossed and eyes closed, sticking his tongue out at the camera while his Golbat seems to be sending an apologetic glance from the background* My Favorite Warden: *The photo attached is a close up of Melli seething as he tugs at his hair with both hands, but discernible in the corners of his eyes are tiny tear droplets* My Favorite Warden: CEASE IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU!!
Despite his dramatics, all that's necessary to quell Melli's tantrum is a few sweet words from Akari. She almost always knows precisely what he wants to hear.
Thankfully for everyone involved who isn't named Melli (and Akari, since she actually finds his antics humorous), the above is nothing more than a hypothetical scenario!
...Or is it?
In a scenario where Melli obtaining a phone isn't a factor though, his high maintenance takes the form of following her around Hisui. When Adaman reprimands him for interfering with Akari's survey work in addition to abandoning his duties as a Warden, his brilliant solution is to bring Lord Electrode along!
Or Melli believes it to be a stroke of brilliance on his part. Adaman lets out a long groan when he discovers his adoptive younger brother parading around The Lord of the Hollow while taking nearly every step Akari does, and states this is not at all what he meant. But Melli insists it's clearly superior to whatever he had in mind.
Finally, I would like to close this lengthy and increasingly absurd post with a public service announcement:
Never entertain the thought of indulging in a pairing as nothing more than a joke, because sooner or later it ceases to be one.
