#cansomeonehelp?

[tinymcfae]

I sit here and think about my life and what I want. Right now I'm currently battling myself everyday. ( it's actually been 5 years.) My anxiety of panic attacks has brought me to the point where I am home bound. I can't leave without a safe person ( my boyfriend particularly.) And driving is a task. It's exhausting to keep explaining why I can't go somewhere by myself. My thoughts go like this:

" we will have a severe panic attack if u go alone and who will drive u home?"

" you can't escape this or your panic and you're going to make a fool of yourself"

" there is no escape. You will live like this forever. There is no fix"

It's hard for me to go get a job ( other than with my mom) or go to the store alone. If someone knows how I can help myself ( I'm on meds) ir would be greatly appreciated.

[naturallyrylee]

Why do people do these things?

I'm sorry but I have to rant. I am so sick and tired of people saying one thing to my face and turning around and saying something else. Or when people SAY something but they never actually SHOW it. It just makes me feel hidden in a way. That people want to talk to me but they never what to act on whatever it is that they have said. Like if someone says "I love you" but they don't really do much to show that they do. So you tend to question it. And another thing I don't understand is why people that say they love you, seem like they try oh so hard to make you jealous.. I've never understood that because I don't think I could ever actually do something like that... I don't know. Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety that I never want to actually tell people how I really feel for fear that its not going to appeal to them and they'll just walk away.

[iwillnevertrulyknow]

Waiting 8/5/2013

     Recently me and this guu have been talking. When we started talking he was in a relationship and so we were just friends that is all. But then him and his girlfriend broke up and so things started looking up. He has told me he likes me. He hasnt moved on from that. I really liked him. But now since I have been waiting a while this whole thing has gotten tiring. I do not know whether I should continue or not. I do not want to wait around forever when I have better opprotunities come along. I don't k now how to explain the way I feel about him anymore. I also don't want to be mean by telling him this. I really need help.