#cap_julz

[julesdroools]

livin this gud dog life

I hit 5 months sober and clean. I am doing the work and feeling drained and full simultaneously. I love the sun and the people I’ve met in the recent months. The love and gratitude I have for these people I never knew I’d adore is wild.

Life is alright yknw, I have no money but hey that’s alright. I’m here and for once I’m grateful to be here. I’ll be 24 in a couple weeks and that blows my mind. I’ll be in San Francisco with my pal and camp in the woods for part of the week. What a dream

[julesdroools]

i got a couple handful of days and am grateful for them and the sunrise meeting I get to go

I’m painting and it’s going, i made a zine after months not making one. I get to celebrate g’s albums release this week with her and im grateful for that, for her wanting me there with her and her close friends.

I am trying to mingle more with fellows, tho it’s a slow process. But still going well

[julesdroools]

Christmas was sweet and painful

[julesdroools]

to the love I have taken for granted

[julesdroools]

Grateful for the past couple weeks and the opportunities given to me. I had my show and it went surprisingly well. I have been filling a couple commitments at my meeting. Working a lot and I’m very drained lately.

But still here and still going. Writing more, painting less. I (soberly) cried for the first time about my mom the other night. It was surreal, left me shakey the next day. As brutal as it was, I’m glad that I did it.

[julesdroools]

I reached two weeks, and everyday- I think of picking up. I ring up countless bottles of wine and beer, the occasional whiskey or vodka and my mouth waters. I salivate, like pavlovs dog.

I did my t shot the other day and my hands were shaking. My heart was racing and all day I was jittery, craving to shoot up.

I share in the meetings, and I talk to my sponsor everyday. I’m scared of re-opening my big book. I’ve been thinking of dog a lot the past few days- turning it over. I finally slept last night, the whole night through. Rough dreams but I slept

It’s going

[julesdroools]

I have a show coming up (!) in December which I’m both nervous and excited for.

Spent a whole day of fellowship and was completely drained after. But a pal gifted me the best chair I’ve ever sat in. And I gifted them a painting.

And I’m excited to spend the holidays with G, I went to her show a few weeks ago and it was really warm to see her perform. She wishes I could go with her to Portland for her show which makes me nervous.

I’ve just been trying to show up, clean house, talk to dog, write about the things that flood my mind and so far it’s okay. I got 38(?) days clean and sober

[julesdroools]

some zine pgs from multiple issues, thinking of making a little book of all the issues