Whumptober
No. 1 A LITTLE OUT OF THE ORDINARY
Loki and Steve
Adverse Effects | Unconventional Restraints | "This wasn't supposed to happen"
He’d been back and forth to this realm for the last few years, but he still didn’t understand the bounds of human technology. His visit before his attempts to conquer had been so long ago, in their years, that they had gone from building with mud to living in the sky.
Which was, he reasoned, why he had ended up in his current predicament. How was he to know they had come up with containment to hold him? How was he to suspect they had the ability to discover his weaknesses?
Loki was sitting in the center of a round glass cage, much like the one he’d spent time in on the airship during his little invasion– only, they had modified it. It was clearly made specifically for him, now.
There was a circle on the floor that was roughly the width of a doorway across, and as long as he stayed in it, he was fine.
Crossing it, however, caused the heat to rise, sharply and immediately, until he retreated to the circle, and it slowly cooled back down.
And of course, due to his accursed heritage, even while in his seemingly Aesir skin, the heat would sap him of his strength, render him exhausted and weak and unable to think.
And so now he sat, careful not to so much as nudge his foot out of the circle. He’d experimented with that– it had ended poorly.
He had also curled up into a tiny knot of his own limbs, in an attempt to sleep. It had worked, in that he had nodded off, but at some point his body had attempted to stretch itself out, and the heat had been triggered, and he had woken, groggy and sweating and miserable. He’d stood in the circle in an attempt to dry himself, and it had taken, as near as he could tell, the better part of an hour for his cage to return to a temperature he considered comfortable. It took longer still for the sense of nausea and weakness to leave him.
He hadn’t tried sleeping again since.
It was difficult to say how long he had been here, like this, but he knew he was exhausted. He felt his body swaying, and held himself as carefully still as he could. The last thing he needed was to pass out and end up triggering the heat while unconscious– he wasn’t entirely sure there was an upper limit on how warm it would get, and it seemed easy enough to imagine that his captors would cook him alive.
He hadn’t seen any of them, but he assumed it was Fury, or some of his lackeys, who held him now.
That assumption held until the door at the end of the long room opened, and lights outside of his cell turned on, allowing him to see the rest of the room for the first time.
There were, as near as he could see, six such chambers. He was the lone occupant, though, which had been why his was the only one illuminated.
And the people who entered were dragging along another person– a second captive to join him. The man was clearly fighting back, and took several jabs from the electrocution batons that the guards carried, for his trouble.
He felt his stomach lurching, and stood.
“What is it you want with me? I would bargain– for food, for rest.”
He was soundly ignored, all of their attention on this new prisoner. Loki wondered if perhaps his cage had been sound proofed– that he was rendered mute, though he could hear them.
They pushed the man, bound with metal bar shaped restraints on each of his limbs and a bag over his head, into the cell across from Loki’s.
He had, in fact, a fairly clear view, which would have been of more interest if he had any reason to care. Whoever this was, whatever he had done, Loki was far more interested in their captors– and he noted, with some surprise, that they did not wear the regalia of SHIELD. They wore black plain human armor, and patches with red insignia of tentacles and skulls.
They retreated, only one of them so much as glancing in Loki’s direction before the door was closed behind them, and the greater chamber pitched back into darkness. He could see the other prisoner’s cage, though– and more importantly, could see the prisoner within.
They had locked his limbs to the floor, spread him out as much as possible– no wonder he’d fought against it. The bag remained in place, but with the way he was thrashing back and forth, Loki doubted it would stay that way for long.
And, of most interest to him, was the fact that Loki could hear the other prisoner. How he huffed and grunted as he strained against his bonds.
“Can you hear me?” He asked, pitching his voice to carry as best as he could, so long deprived of water.
The other man stropped struggling for a moment.
“Who’s there?” He demanded, his voice rough in a way that spoke of time screaming, or strangling– fresh damage, rather than Loki’s own mere neglect.
“Another prisoner in this basement.” Loki said smoothly, unwilling to identify himself, lest he have accidentally murdered this persons family, or some such thing. He would deal with the fall out his name would cause, once they were better established as needing to aid one another.
“Can you take this hood off of me?” The request was quieter, and Loki could hear in it the mental strain. He could sympathize; it must amplify the fear, not being able to see what was coming.
“We are in two separate tanks. Glass. I cannot physically reach you.”
Not a whole answer, but he had not done any overt magic yet– he’d kept his efforts to his own bodily comfort, thus far, unwilling to tempt them into cooking him again in punishment. Or worse, attempting to rob him of that power in some other way, before he could make a plan of escape.
“And they’ve got strong magnets holding me to the floor.” The man shook his head, the bag again rustling over it. “How often do they come in?”
Loki sighed, well aware it was unwise to speak thus; they were no doubt monitoring them.
“It has been days since I saw them. They do not bring food or drink. In fact, since I was captured, the only time they have opened that door is to bring you in.”
He heard the shocked intake of breath, and was surprised that it was so audible. But then, the relative silence of the rest of the room had been overwhelming, before.
“They’re starving you?” The man sounded indignant.
“It seems likely they will be starving us, given you aren’t in a position to be able to eat.” Loki pointed out, unkindness tearing out of him in rapid response to the man’s pity.
“Not if I have anything to say about it.” The man shot back, and returned to his wriggling, trying to get the hood off. It was, it seemed, wedged too far down under him, though– pinched beneath his shoulderblades, which were held flat to the floor.
Loki sighed, regretting having snapped. He watched in silence for a while until the man gave up on his efforts and lay still.
“I can describe to you our cells, if you like, though there is not much to describe. Both are rounded tanks, tall and glass, with lights above and tile floors below. Mine has a small circle in the middle, which I cannot leave without being punished. Yours lacks even the visual appearance of that aspect, which is lucky for you. The room beyond is dark, but there are four more cells such as ours, only unlit. There is one door. The floor outside is concrete, the floor in the hallway beyond the door is white and glossy. The men who brought you in wear black, and their identifying marks are a red skull and tentacles–”
“HYDRA.” The man answered, resignation telling Loki that he had already known as much.
“You know them?”
“I’ve fought them before. Every time I think I’ve taken the last of them down…”
“More rise up. A hydra in practice, hence the name. Charming. And how have they captured you now?” Loki was exhausted, and it showed in his voice. How was he to fight back, to escape, against an unbeatable enemy?
“This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was trying to help a couple of kids– I’m Captain America.” The man said next, after another long stretch, and he spoke as if embarrassed.
Understandable; he’d just admitted to being duped, bested, despite being one of Earth’s defenders.
It was good after all that Loki hadn’t identified himself, then. The last thing he needed was the Captain to know that he was just one more enemy he’d failed to defeat.
“Bad luck, Captain. It seems your SHIELD won’t be saving you this time.”
The Captain went quiet again, this time with a sullen, dogged sort of refusal to speak any further.
Loki had offended him, and, at length, he realized the Captain may well have fallen asleep.
Lucky him.
Loki sat, and stared, and stood, and stretched, and sat again, waiting for something– anything– to change.
Stoki Whumptober Day 30: Now where did that come from?
(sorry it’s so late! I made it long to help make up for it.)
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Steve stayed abed for three days-- the longest, Loki was told, and by him no less, that he’d ever followed orders to relax for, and then only because Loki came down to spend the time with him.
If the other Avengers found this odd, they did not say as much to either Loki or Steve, and if they would have preferred their time alone with Steve during their visits, Loki would have been quick to go-- save that none asked.
And so, over the course of three days, he found himself in a myriad of odd social interactions with people he’d tried to kill or manipulate, and was surprised at how… simple it was. Easy.
There was some tension still, of course; none of them would pretend there wasn’t. However, the suspicion he’d expected, the derision or outright hatred? That was nowhere to be found. They were cautious, but varying levels of polite.
The widow was witty and interesting to talk to. She challenged him to a game of chess that he very much looked forward to, and Steve joked again about their combined likelihood of wrecking the rest of the team in any competition due to unfair mental advantage.
Barton came to visit, bringing pizza with him, and they broke bread and had beer, and while he was a touch skittish, it seemed that Steve’s presence had a calming effect on both he and Loki.
Banner came to check on Steve with his own medical knowledge, and to be certain that nothing was going awry, no bones mending improperly or anything. Not, he insisted, that he doubted Loki’s knowledge, but simply for his own peace of mind.
He and Loki and Steve had ended up discussing differing medical techniques from each of their own homes- Steve’s being so far in the past that half of it was forgotten, like, apparently, telling asthmatics to smoke for the good of their lungs, and forcing anemics to eat large helpings of offal to help their iron levels. In addition, Loki learned that Steve’s mother was a healer in his youth, which, Loki thought, explained much of his urge to help others and save those who needed saving.
Loki was more familiar with herbal and magical remedies, and though Banner insisted repeatedly that he wasn’t that kind of doctor, his knowledge of modern science based medical practices was fairly impressive.
And while clearly they all wondered where this was going, only Stark and Barnes were so bold as to ask directly.
Separately, of course, but with an amusingly similar lack of tact.
“So uh-- you guys hooked up on your little time adventure?” Stark asked, during a lull in his questions about the power outage and its cause. Loki would have spluttered had he not been trained in how to hide responses from years in court.
Steve on the other hand, had been in the process of drinking, and he genuinely choked on the water in his mouth.
Loki was up in an instant, patting him on the back and glaring at Stark, who raised his hands defensively.
“Just saying, you come back and you can’t seem to get enough of one another. You can’t blame a guy for wondering.”
“We did not hook up, we nearly died, repeatedly!” Steve protested, his face glowing red under the scrutiny.
“So that’s a no?” Stark asked, looking to Loki for confirmation.
“Stark, our lack of sex lives is really none of your concern. I care for the Captain, which I think is your real question. Beyond that-- we shall see.” Loki glanced at Steve to make sure he hadn’t overstepped, and found such adoration on his face that for a moment, it took Loki’s breath away.
“Oh. Yeah, well, alright.” Stark seemed taken aback, but recovered quickly. “I feel like I should… you know, give you a minute.” He got up and made his way to the door, and Loki followed him.
“I promise you, Stark, he is in good hands.” Loki said softly.
Stark shook his head.
“I don’t doubt it. And call me Tony. Have you talked to your brother?”
Loki looked away.
“I do not imagine he would take so kindly to this news.” Loki hedged, speaking softer still. “And I do not believe he wishes to see me.”
Tony shrugged.
“I get it. I won’t say anything. But it might be worth seeing if you can fix the family drama. Family’s kinda important to Steve, after all-- I imagine he’ll want you to try, too.”
Loki felt a wave of anxious nausea hit him at that, but he just nodded and closed the door behind Stark.
He hadn’t even made it back to Steve’s room when the next knock came, and Barnes let himself in shortly after, not waiting for Loki to answer.
Barnes looked Loki up and down, crossed his arms, and met his eyes dead on.
“You and Stevie an item now?” He asked, point blank.
Loki sighed.
“Your people have so many ways to ask this question. I care for him a great deal, yes.”
“Buck? Stop harassing my guy and get in here.” Steve called from the other room, and that was that.
Barnes was far more interested in the stone, and the stories of the effects of it that Loki had suffered.
He seemed, grudgingly, to accept that long jumps were a bad idea, and that something like remaking his past was… perhaps not the greatest of plans. Especially given that he was closer to whatever Steve was than what Loki was, and he couldn’t handle it near so well.
He left, with much to mull over, and Loki relaxed into the idea that the stone might, at last, be safe.
---
At length, even Loki had to admit that Steve was well again. He healed fast and he needed no more rest-- he was back at the top of his abilities.
Which meant it was time to have their conversation, despite having had parts of it through others.
“So. You care for me, huh?” Steve asked, grinning.
Loki felt his anxiousness bubbling rapidly to a boil within him.
“I should hope that was fairly obvious.” He said quietly, carefully not looking Steve in the eye.
“It is. It’s just nice to hear.” Steve assured him. “Because I feel the same.”
Loki smiled and looked up, then.
“So, where does that leave us?”
“Not enemies, I hope.” Steve started, and Loki laughed.
“No, hardly that.”
“Would you consider-- in my time, we called it going steady. Now I guess it’s just… dating?”
“Is that the same as courtship?”
Steve flushed at that, and Loki smirked a little, charmed.
“Yeah, uh, I guess it’s similar.”
“Good. Then I would like to declare my intent to court you, Steve Rogers. If you’ll have me.”
“Oh, uh yeah. I don’t… know what courtship entails, but yeah, I’ll have you. And um, if you’ll show me how, I want to do the same. Court you, I mean.” Steve was adorably flustered, and it made Loki feel a little steadier on his feet. He stepped forward and took Steve’s hand.
“On Asgard, it’s gifts. Treasures and prizes won, deeds done in your name. It’s a matter of proving oneself worthy of the person they love, and making their partner feel wanted and adored.”
“Oh.” Steve said quietly. “That’s uh, nice, but you don’t have to buy me gifts.”
Loki tilted his head, then nodded.
“I’ll prove myself in deeds, then. And to that end, I would invite you to consider me, if not part of your team, at least at your disposal, if I can be of help in any matter that affects you or your friends.” Loki paused, then added, “So long as it doesn’t involve my using the damned timestone again.”
Steve cracked a smile at that, though he looked like he was thinking very hard.
“Is there anything in particular that you can think of you’d like from me?” He asked, sounding the most timid that Loki thought he’d been for this entire conversation.
Loki squeezed his hands reassuringly and lifted a finger to his lips in a pretense of thinking.
“Hmm.” He said. “I can think of one thing, right now.”
Steve seemed to perk up a bit at that, endearingly eager to please.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Kiss me?” Loki responded, trying not to feel too shy or embarrassed for asking.
However, Steve seemed entirely happy to oblige.
It was a little clumsy, as if Steve had had little experience, but that was hardly a problem; by the time they pulled apart, Loki was panting a little and Steve had turned an incredibly fetching shade of pink.
They rested their foreheads together for a moment and just held one another.
It was an altogether perfect start.
--
And so it was that, a day or two later, when the Avengers were called out to do some world saving mission, Loki found himself following Steve to board the quinjet and report for duty.
He was stopped, though, with a powerful grip on his shoulder holding him back.
He turned to find himself face to face with Thor, and swallowed.
He’d been so happy with Steve, he had fully forgotten his once-brother was still on Midgard.
“Thor.” He greeted, cautiously but trying for politeness.
“Whatever this game is, abandon it now and return to whatever cave you crawled from.” Thor was stern and his voice thunderous with threats unspoken.
“Thor.” Steve’s, on the other hand, was commanding, and Loki looked up to see him at the top of the steps, one hand on the body of the quinjet. “Loki offered to help us. Same as you. Don’t endanger the team with your drama. That stays here, or you do.”
“I?” Thor asked, shocked that he should be benched in a competition between he and Loki.
It made butterflies flit through Loki’s stomach.
“You’re the only one who seems to have a problem with working with him.” Steve said simply, and Loki realized that was true. Even Barton seemed to be coming around; albeit on his own time.
Thor, clearly annoyed, brushed past Loki to board the quinjet, stopping beside Steve to drop a heavy hand on his shoulder.
“I hope,” Thor said lowly, “That you know what you are doing. Not everyone deserves redemption.”
Steve turned his head to look him square in the eye.
“Everyone who wants redemption should be allowed to claim it.” Steve said, loudly enough for it to carry to both Loki and everyone inside.
Thor shook his head, but entered the plane with no further words, and Steve deplaned to take Loki’s hand in his.
“Are you alright?” He asked quietly.
In honesty, Loki was shaking. But he pushed it down and refused to let Steve know how affected he was. He didn’t want to be left behind for it.
“I am. Let’s go save your people.” He squeezed Steve’s hand, then dropped it to board their transport.
--
It was a fast ship, as fast if not faster than an Asgardian vessel, and it landed them at their destination less than two hours after they left.
“We’re about an hour outside of Lakhimpur, near the Ghaghara river.” The widow explained. “There are reports that SHIELD vehicles have been spotted around here-- Fury, however, didn’t send them, and doesn’t have any record of missing assets, which means we’re probably dealing with Hydra. And, it seems they are taking hostages, mostly in the medtech field. We’re going to find them, free them, and put a stop to whatever Hydra’s doing. And, on the off chance it has anything to do with samples they took from Steve…” She trailed off and looked from Loki to Barnes, “We have two experts on destroying that present.”
“Thanks, Nat.” Steve said, standing up. “We’re not too concerned about being quiet. I don’t want any innocent deaths, if we can avoid it, and no harming any landmarks, if they’ve taken over anything that might be culturally important. This isn’t our country, let’s be respectful. Everything else, though? Anything that Hydra is proud of? I wanna see it go up in smoke.”
There was a shared expression of pleasure at that, and Loki noted that Thor was, again, staring at him. He kept his eyes on Steve.
“Okay, so, we’ve got sightings on this road here,” Steve pointed on the map,”that leads into the trees. Locals who have tried to see where they go have not returned. My thought is to stage an ambush, steal a vehicle, work our way into the compound in disguise, and destroy them from the inside out. But, we could use a distraction, to get everyone scurrying. So, once we have the car, I want Tony and Thor overhead to give them something to focus on and something to fight. Stay out of range if possible, but draw their attention away from us on the ground while we get the lay of the land.”
Tony and Thor nodded.
“Bruce, Nat, Clint, you three are together once we get inside. I want you to get to the medical labs. Nat, get whatever you can off of their machines, and then wipe them, as fast as possible. You three have some Hindu and some Urdu between you, so you should be able to talk to the hostages. I want you to head up evac for the civilians. Loki, Bucky and I will handle the higher ups. And then on my signal, Tony, Thor, Bruce, feel free to tear it to the ground.”
“I like this plan.” Tony said, intentionally overly chipper, and there were scattered nods throughout the ship.
--
The plan went mostly as it was laid out. They took down the soldiers in the car and climbed aboard, Barton, Bruce, and Natasha donning their clothing and Steve, Loki, and Bucky hiding in the back.
Loki could hear the sounds of thunder just as they crossed the bridge that led up to the building their car had been headed towards, and the distracted Hydra guards let them in in a hurry.
Once parked, they split up to see to their assigned tasks.
Loki used his trick of diverting the eyes of onlookers, so that Steve, Bucky and he were all but invisible. They made their way deeper and higher up in the building, watching where the more decorated soldiers emerged from, and following that path.
The first problem arose when it became clear that some of the civilians were being held here, close to the officers, and not down with the others that Natasha, Bruce, and Barton were meant to be getting out.
“I’ll take them.” Barnes offered, once he’d broken the neck of one of the men guarding the cell, and Loki had buried a knife in the throat of the other.
Loki was quick to agree; though he had the Allspeak, he was loathe to leave Steve on his own, particularly after what a similar group had done to him.
So he spoke to the people inside, learned that they were the missing doctors, and told them that he was here with the Avengers, and the man with the metal arm would be leading them to safety.
“Just get them down to the other group, if you can-- I don’t want you trying to take them all out on your own. Meet up and help the others, so you have someone on your six.”
Barnes snapped off a sarcastic looking little salute.
“Yes sir, captain sir.” Barnes said, and Steve huffed and rolled his eyes, but smiled.
“How long have you known him?” Loki asked as they continued moving deeper into the Hydra hold.
“My whole life, really, save the part where we were on ice or brainwashed, respectively.”
Loki shook his head.
“It is a strange life you’ve led, my captain. Stranger than most.”
They found the room that was home to those in a position of command, and found them all on phones or huddled around visual feeds of Thor and Tony, raining down annoyance on them from above.
“But why?” One was saying. “They could be destroying us, why are they toying with us?”
“Because,” Said one man, who looked distinctly unlike the rest. Something about him reminded Loki of Barnes, when they’d first met. He was standing very straight, coiled and ready to spring, and he all but vibrated with barely contained power. Most importantly, he was looking directly at Steve and Loki. “Their friends are inside.”
Loki darted forward, immediately placing himself between the man and Steve, which proved to be a good decision. The man pulled out a throwing knife and Loki caught it, reversing it and throwing it back towards him. It landed, and he pulled it from his shoulder and let it fall to the ground as if it was no more bothersome than a fly.
“Steve, take care of the rest, they still have a hard time seeing you!” Loki instructed, squaring off against this one.
The man lunged forward, one hand still holding a knife, which he brought up and under Loki’s ribs, but Loki blocked it-- the blade bouncing harmlessly off of his bracer. The man’s other hand was empty but the fist that made contact with the side of Loki’s head may as well have been concrete.
Loki’s vision blacked out briefly, and he felt himself get stabbed in the side, but it didn’t seem to have done much damage. When he could see properly again, he wrested the knife free of the man and caught his arms in Loki’s own, turning it into a test of sheer strength.
And the man was strong-- stronger than a run of the mill human.
“He’s been modified!” Loki yelled for Steve’s benefit, the words coming out strained as he spoke through his teeth.
“I understand I have you to thank!” the man told Loki. “You left him, and they made me from part of him.”
Loki snarled and took the man’s legs out from under him, landing neatly atop his chest and pinning his arms with Loki’s knees.
“Shame it took you so long to find us; there’re dozens of men like me, now. Cut off one head--”
Loki felt another body crash into his back, but he stayed focused on the man beneath him. Loki summoned another of his knives-- the longer ones for close range fights, this time-- and slid it home through his trachea.
The man fell back and was no more.
Loki turned his attention, then, to the body that had fallen on him-- it was not Steve, which was all that mattered.
He found Steve at a bank of computers, holding a dead man’s hand to a fingerprint reader.
“A good trick.” Loki commented, as he sidled up to him. “I’m afraid I have some bad news, though.” He said, nodding at the man he’d taken out. “It seems we did not get every sample.”
Steve set his jaw.
“Yeah, I’m seeing that. Jesus-- there’s four of them here. We have to warn the others.”
Loki nodded, and watched as Steve inserted a drive into the computer, which then went to work, downloading files and leaving its own behind.
Loki used the communications device he’d been given.
“In case you’ve not run into them yet, there are soldiers as strong as Steve here. Three of them, at least.”
“Fuck!” he heard from Barton, and Steve shook his head but got the drive removed as all of the screens around him began to malfunction.
“Buck, you with the main group?”
“I’m here, the civilians have all been rounded up, according to them we got everyone. On our way out to the car now.”
“Great.” Steve answered.
“Bruce, you wanna go join Tony and Thor, maybe get a little green?”
“On it.”
“As soon as everyone’s clear, I want this place reduced to rubble.”
Steve said over the intercom, before cutting his mic.
“Then let’s get ourselves out of here.” Loki said. “Here, I’ll lead-- just in case they send more of those soldiers our way. I can put up a shield that covers more than yours.”
Steve smiled.
“Real glad you’re on our side, now.” He told Loki shortly, and dropped a quick peck to his lips. “Let’s go.”
Loki did as he said he would, erecting a shield and leading them to safety. They did not encounter the advanced soldiers, which he considered a mixed blessing, and by the time they gained the outside of the compound, the Hydra troops were attempting to fall back.
They let them, checked in with Natasha, and gave the destruction crew the all clear.
Without a car, and with the Quinjet parked on the other side of the wooded area, that meant they were on foot. But at least the company was pleasant, and the enemy was distracted.
“Not bad for a first outing.” Steve said, but his attempt at joviality sounded pinched.
“We will find the rest of these advanced soldiers.” Loki promised him, guessing at what was bothering him.
“Yeah, we’re going to have to.” Steve ran a hand through his hair, still looking distressed, and Loki reached out for him, taking his hand and marveling again at the warmth of him, and how well they fit together.
The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and he could see it in the slant of Steve’s shoulders. He leaned in and kissed him, really kissed him, this time, no quick mid-battle peck, and Steve pulled him in close.
When they broke apart, Loki was light headed, and Steve was looking besotted. He reached up to push some of Loki’s hair behind his ear, and froze.
Steve stumbled backwards, and Loki saw why: his hand was covered in blood.
Loki twisted and twitched aside the cape that was sticking to his side, only to see the knife wound he’d forgotten about earlier.
“Ah.” He said.
The lightheadedness, it turned out, was perhaps at least partially due to blood loss.
“I’ll be fine,” he assured Steve, pressing his hand to his own side with the bloody cape to put pressure on the wound.
And then, from the trees, the three missing soldier attacked, as if they had smelled his weakness.
“Awh, shit.” Loki heard Steve say, just before something was shoved over his head, and he was knocked unconscious.
Stoki Whumptober Day 23: What’s a Whumpee Got To DO To Get Some Sleep Around Here?
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Loki lay still, curled up to Steve’s chest, making an effort to take even breaths. He breathed in for five seconds, held it for five, then released it, then held it, then back from the start again.
His intent had not, at first, been to feign sleep, but rather to encourage his body to let him rest.
And then he’d realized Steve was shaking. So he’d sat up and readjusted the cape where it was draped over them both, to cover his back end, where Loki had apparently tugged the cape too far towards himself, and Steve hadn’t said anything.
Then he pulled another log onto the fire, moving slowly and quietly and careful not to wake his bedmate.
He lay back down, burrowed his way back into the little cavern of warmth between his chest and the cape, and tried to fall asleep.
Five in. Five hold. Five out. Five hold. Five in. Five hold.
He could feel himself beginning to drift off, but jerked awake, his mind flashing the worry that he might grow colder in his sleep. He wouldn’t know-- he hadn’t shared a bed or bedroll with anyone overnight since discovering his origins. It was possible that, in this kind of cold, he might revert to his Jotun shape, if he rested. And then he’d injure Steve, or worse-- leech all of his hard won warmth, and kill him in his sleep.
There was part of Loki that wanted to shoot away, get out of the cape and move to the opposite side of the shelter, just for safety.
But… it was warm. He was the most comfortable he’d been in days. He was exhausted and still a little weak feeling from his earlier illness.
And… this close, he could turn his head a little, and hear Steve’s heartbeat. He could time his breaths to match, and listen to make sure he drew the next one, and the next…
Loki knew there was a chance that if he didn’t move away, he could do a great deal of damage. But if he stayed… he could apply himself to making sure he didn’t.
And so he spent the night counting his breaths and Steve’s, listening to his heart, tracking the changes in the fire and its heat…
He wanted the sleep; his body craved it. But he’d gone without before, and he could do it again. What he’d gone without for far longer, and what he craved far more, was the closeness and the companionship with the man beside him, even if he was sleeping, dreaming he was somewhere else, with anyone else…
It had been some time since Loki felt like he belonged anywhere. But for the moment, it felt like he belonged exactly where he was, and he was loathe to move away.
---
Behind him, Steve tried not to scrunch his face up or let his eyes flutter. He could hear Loki shuffling, could almost feel his mind going a hundred miles a minute, and wondered what it was he was worried about, what he wasn’t telling Steve.
Predators, maybe, or some invisible threat that Loki planned to take care of on his own.
He was odd, quick to volunteer his help and slow to ask for any help in return. He didn’t want to be a burden, and didn’t seem to want to be thanked for his efforts in keeping them alive, either. He certainly didn’t seem to know how to respond to compliments.
And he didn’t know how to sleep next to someone else.
Not that Steve could talk; he was having a hard time his own self. He just hoped they’d be able to drift off before morning.
And he hoped that tomorrow would be easier. They had shelter, so they wouldn’t need to build another. And maybe the stone would be ready, maybe they could go back.
Then they wouldn’t have to sleep so close to share warmth.
Steve tried not to acknowledge his disappointment, at that thought. It made no sense, after all.
He was just tired.
Stoki Whumptober Day 29: I think I need a Doctor
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Loki was surprised to find himself so fiercely protective of Steve, and even more surprised to find that respected, to some extent, by the Avengers and Barnes.
“I would be happy to answer all of your questions, just as soon as Steve is seen to.” Loki told them, still carrying him, because Steve had nodded off at some point on the way back to the tower.
“He looks like shit.” Barnes observed, and it was only perhaps half an accusation.
“He nearly froze in the winter forests that used to be here, we had little to eat and next to no sleep for several days, he babysat for a family of the people of the long table, then he had to trade labor for lodgings in your New Amsterdam, and finally, when we were able to make it back to your time, he was attacked for having the stone. I believe he has some broken ribs. Now, where is his bed? The rest of your questions can wait.”
Stark was, perhaps unsurprisingly, the first to volunteer to help Loki navigate the maze that was the tower.
“You gonna have to do some sort of healing stuff on him again?” Stark asked, opening Steve’s door and stepping aside to allow Loki entrance.
“I don’t think so. Provided he can be convinced to allow himself to heal, I don’t think it will take him long. I expect it will take longer for him to be fully rested than fully healed.”
He got Steve situated in his bed, and went about stripping him of Loki’s coat, his shoes, and emptying his pocket of the book and pen he’d been sketching in.
He also found the stone, and breathed a sigh of relief, before passing it to Stark.
“This was used recently, and is giving off a power signature that can be traced. Here is a machine which may track it. Can you make sure it cannot be found?”
Stark took both with the glee of a child at midwinter.
“You bet your sweet ass I can-- uh, how do you use this thing, so I can make sure to… not.” He brandished the stone somewhat hesitantly.
“It should be exhausted of power for at least another day or two, but after that… well, I would simply advise you not touch it much, and certainly not think of another time while holding it.”
“Noted.” Stark said. He paused on his way to the door. “Once he’s set, the rest of them are gonna be waiting for you on the main floor. JARVIS will take you there. And uh… thanks for having his back.”
He left and Loki stared after him for a long moment, surprised at the sentiment.
Perhaps he simply didn’t realize that it was Loki who had endangered him and then abandoned him, allowing this to happen.
But that would come later. For now, he focused on Steve.
Gingerly, Loki lifted Steve’s shirt to try and get a sense of the damage, but jumped when Steve grabbed his wrist, startled awake by all the movement, no doubt.
Loki smiled at him over the edge of the cloth he still held.
“It’s alright, you’re safe now. Back at the tower. I was only looking…”
He turned his eyes back to Steve’s torso, which was littered with bruises that looked suspiciously as if he had been kicked, burned… and possibly stabbed.
Loki lowered the shirt again, contriving to look unimpressed rather than worried.
“It’s nothing. Like you said, it’ll heal quick.”
Loki felt his lips twitching upwards at the corners.
“Feigning sleep, Captain? Your friends will say I’ve been a bad influence.”
Steve gave Loki his own little smirk, his mouth moving easier now the swelling had started to go down a bit.
“Seems to me my friends are more thankful for you taking care of me.”
Loki flapped his free hand.
“They simply don’t know I was at fault for all of this, yet.”
He looked pointedly at his wrist, where Steve’s hand still rested, less tight now, less of a threat-- just holding on to him.
“Did you intend to keep me here until they come looking for answers?”
Steve frowned.
“Were you really planning on going up and facing them alone?” He asked in return.
“Yes.” Loki said firmly. “I know you don’t like to admit it, but you were injured and this last week that we shared has to have been hard on you, body and mind alike. Take some time, come back to yourself.”
He reached over and gently removed Steve’s hand.
“We can discuss what has happened between us once you are… back to normal.” He chose his words carefully. “Once you no longer have lingering feelings of being reliant on me.”
They were perhaps the most terrifying words he’d ever spoken. He tried to keep them cool and calm and even, though he knew he ruined it at the end by swallowing a little too audibly.
Steve smiled, and it was beautiful, even through the discoloration and swelling.
“That’s tricky-- forcing me to get better to get what I want. You and Natasha better not get too close while I’m down here, I don’t think the rest of us would survive that kind of team up.”
Loki smiled and patted his hand.
“I doubt any of them will come around to me so easily nor so thoroughly as you have,” He promised.
“Well, don’t go getting in situations where you have to save their lives, and we won’t have to find out.”
Loki stood and watched as Steve arranged himself a little more comfortably.
“Let them know I’m resting, and then I’m gonna want a shower and food, in that order, before I see anybody.”
“I shall.” Loki told him.
“Stick around for when I wake up?” Steve requested, and Loki nodded.
“I shall,” he repeated, a little quieter.
And, against his better judgement, he meant to keep that promise.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
So uh, I haven’t touched this one in a hot minute.
Sorry bout that.
This is an AU in which Loki acquires HYDRA's favorite Asset, and James Barnes-- Captain America-- discovers that his best friend didn't die in the war after all.
Stoki Whumptober Day 22: Do These Tacos Taste Funny To You?
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As the day dawned and they considered their options, Loki sent tentative tendrils of power towards the stone.
It was recovering-- that much was clear, but it wasn’t anywhere close to being usable.
“This will take several days.” He announced shortly.
Rogers looked up from the fire, frowning. He seemed to have recovered some of his lost body heat, and nearly all of his wandering wits.
“Not much choice, is there? So what should we do?”
Loki pondered.
“We have a few priorities. The first should be sustenance, I think. Food-- preferably meat, if we can manage to trap anything. Then, shelter. What we made in a few hours yesterday was a start, but it is nowhere near enough to keep you alive, and my powers are low from keeping the heat around you.
Rogers looked startled.
“Wait-- what did you do?”
Loki cocked his head, then huffed a little laugh, feeling sheepish. He’d thought it would be obvious, but apparently Rogers had been too out of his mind to realize.
“It’s no matter. I kept the heat close, that’s all. Without food and rest, I will not be able to do it again, and so we should make an effort to secure both food and a place that will support us for the next few days.”
Rogers nodded.
“What’s the best way to do that?”
Loki thought back to hunts and adventures, and adjusted for his current state-- tired, magically weak, and Rogers, human, though extraordinary for one.
“A den.” He decided. “We dig down before we build up, and that will be easier if we can find an area with good snow drift.” He glanced at Rogers’s hands, remembering how stiff and red they’d been the night prior.
“Perhaps I should take the lead on that. Do you know anything about tracking or trapping?”
Rogers shook his head apologetically.
“The woods isn’t really my forte-- even back in the war, we just carried rations with us.”
Loki sighed.
“Alright. Shelter first, then. It will, I think, be the most pressing of our needs. And maybe we can build upon what we already have, rather than starting anew.”
This was less than ideal, of course, but they’d make it through. As long as they could keep Rogers warm enough, even if they found no food, they would last three days. This would all be fine.
Loki’s first act was to find two trees near enough to one another that they could lay the trees they felled between them, stacking them almost like weaving, to form a wall, and wedging more trees in at an angle, to form a triangular shape. It was, again, not wind proof, but he hoped to get it closer to that before night fall.
Once the walls were tall enough to allow them to walk inside while bent over, they switched to installing something of a roof-- simply more trees laid across.
“All these trees we’re tearing down-- it’s not going to affect the timeline, will it?” Rogers asked, when they’d nearly finished with their labour, as it grew to early afternoon.
Loki shrugged.
“It may have some effect, though who knows what… and it probably doesn’t do to dwell on it. We have little enough choice.”
Loki showed the Captain how to scrape off the snow and find the wet leaves and pine needles beneath.
“This is to fill the gaps between the logs. Can you work on this, while I search for food? Take breaks and warm your hands by the fire when they grow uncomfortable.”
“Okay. Stay close though-- within hearing range.”
“Of course.” Loki wasn’t sure whether the Captain was more concerned for himself or for Loki, but given what he knew of them man, he thought it was likely the latter.
Sweet fool.
Loki wished he’d taken the time earlier to fashion and set traps, but he’d chosen to prioritize otherwise, and so that left him likely needing to use what was left of his power for the day on food.
He managed to use his Jotun eyes to find a rabbit’s burrow, and uncovered three fat rabbits for dinner. Satisfied they would have something, he began next to forage, finding a few mushrooms he was familiar with on tree trunks, low to the ground.
He wished he had a pot; a stew would be immensely satisfying given the temperatures, and being able to melt snow and drink it warm would warm them very effectively, but he was making do with what they had, and so spits over the fire would have to do.
He was careful not to cook the meat too long, unwilling to lose the animal’s fat to the flames, and passed two of them to Rogers to sup on.
“Is that gonna be enough for you?” The Captain asked, nodding towards Loki’s own meal.
“I found a few mushrooms, I’ll round it out with that and it will be plenty.” Loki assured him, opening the small satchel he’d made out of the hem of his cape, tied up and around itself.
The mushrooms, he had to admit, didn’t sound as appealing as the meat, but they would help him to feel more full. And it seemed to satisfy Rogers, who began tucking into his food with a voracity that Loki hadn’t expected. He wondered if his body, superior to the rest of his species, made superior demands of him as well.
He was glad, suddenly, that he’d chosen to divide up the food that way. And with any luck the meat would help him feel warmer overnight.
They finished their supper and settled into their new lodgings, watching as the sun dropped behind the trees and slowly all light faded but that of the fire. Loki kept that built high enough to warm the space, and was gratified to find the set up holding heat much better than last night’s had.
He was just beginning to settle in when the first of the cramps hit him.
At first he thought little of the discomfort, but as it grew, he found himself clutching at his middle and wiping sweat from his brow.
“Are you… Loki? What’s wrong?” The Captain moved closer, clearly alarmed, and Loki waved him off.
“Perhaps the meat was undercooked.” He said, feeling slightly miserable about it.
“If that was the case, I should be feeling it too. What about the mushrooms? You know which ones are safe, right?”
Loki groaned.
“I thought I did-- there must be some differences to Asgardian ones.”
Well, that would explain his current state.
“I should-- ah, go purge them.” Loki began to crawl towards the exit, and Rogers moved to follow. Loki stopped him.
“I will not freeze to death in my efforts-- you might. And, if you don’t mind… I’d rather you not see me like this.”
Rogers did not appear impressed.
“What happens if you pass out, or get lost, or if it gets worse and you can’t make it back?”
“Then you come look for me in the morning. I mean it, Rogers-- stay with the fire.”
The Captain glanced away, his lips going thin.
“I told you to call me Steve.” he said, and Loki sighed, glad that he was giving ground to Loki’s argument in favor of complaining about what he was called.
“Steve, then. Let me handle this myself. I’ll return as soon as I feel up to it.”
Rogers pushed a hand through his hair distractedly.
“Alright, but I’m not waiting til morning. If you’re not back by the time this log burns down, I’m coming looking for you.”
Loki glanced at the fire. That didn’t give him long, and if he had any hope of retaining his dignity-- his stomach cramped again, and made a sound like a restless beast.
“Fine.” he said quickly. “I will walk in a straight line from the door into the woods. But if it comes to it, I imagine at some point you should be able to smell me.”
He wrinkled his nose and climbed out into the cold, fully prepared to use the dregs of his magic to speed the process of emptying his stomach, if he must.
He could not say he was looking forward to it.
---
Some hours later, Loki returned to the shelter, shaking with exhaustion, and sore from the day’s exertions, and ready to simply curl up and rest, at long last. Rogers was still awake, waiting for him and staring into the flames, and though he’d wrapped himself in Loki’s cape, he was glad to see he didn’t appear to be as poorly off as he had been the night before.
“Hey,” he greeted. “You doing okay?”
Loki huffed.
“Well, I feel a good deal less like dying.” Though he did not mention that it had smelled for a bit like he had done, out there.
Rogers laughed a little, sounding surprised.
“Glad to hear it, I guess. Here.” He lifted his arm, creating an opening in the cape that Loki supposed he was meant to crawl into.
“What?” Loki asked.
“I figure-- it’s cold. We should share body heat. Especially if you’re feeling sick-- we can’t afford for you to get worse.”
It was Loki’s turn to laugh, though there was panic hidden under it.
The Captain was sweet, but a fool.
“Do you suppose I withstand the cold better because I run warmer than you?” Loki asked archly. “I am cold-blooded, Captain. I would only steal your heat. I have none to share.”
“Steve.” He corrected quickly, then shook his head. “I don’t care. As long as… if being warmer would help you, you should share my heat. You’re shivering.”
And Loki realized it was true; he was exhausted, drained both physically and magically, and his sleep had been cut short the night prior with watching over Steve.
He didn’t have the energy left to argue, and so worked his way around the fire to sit beside Steve, ducking under his own cape for warmth.
“If I make you cold, though-- you must tell me.” Loki cautioned.
“Alright. And if there’s anything I can do to help, you hafta tell me. Deal?”
“I suppose it must be.” Loki found himself leaning into the heat, and did not flinch when Steve’s arm curled around his shoulder to pull him closer, though it was a close thing.
Stoki Whumptober Day 27: Okay, who had natural disasters on their 2020 Bingo Card?
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After giving thanks to their hosts-- and, Loki learned, Steve’s temporary employers, for he’d agreed to work in exchange for the room they’d used--
They were allowed to set off, though the hosts expressed their concerns for his health, and, especially the wife, expressed their pleasure in having Steve working. They tried to cajole another day’s stay out of them, and Steve looked to Loki, entirely ready to respond, but lOki, jealous and already aching for it, shook his head.
“I’m afraid we’ve lingered longer than we should already; we’re expected, and running behind schedule.”
None could argue with that, though Steve gave him a disappointed look, but he did not contradict his words.
And so they parted ways with New Amsterdam and left the area, waiting until they were out of the developed parts and well into the woods to talk.
“We could camp out here,” Steve opened with, obviously hopeful.
“No, as I said, I am using too much of your life as it is, taking too much time from you. We go forward today.”
Steve’s lips thinned into a near-frown.
“I hate having to scrape you off the ground every time we do this.” He said, words tight.
Loki stiffened.
“I apologize for being such a burden.” He spat, feeling wounded. It felt like a judgement-- he ought to be better than this. The problem was, he agreed. This should not affect him so, and it felt like weakness, allowing the stone to wreck him so thoroughly.
“Loki…” Steve said, his name sounding like a warning before a sigh came from Steve’s lips. “That’s not what I mean. You have to know that.”
Loki glanced away.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
He looked up to find Steve’s brow furrowed, his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants.
“Look, I… appreciate, I guess, everything you’ve done. You’ve kept me alive, when you didn’t have to, you haven’t abandoned me, even though it would have been easier…”
“Steve, stop, please.” Loki was not above begging. “This grand statement, this admission you want to work up to… it’s born of reliance. It’s born of fear. I don’t want--” He bit the words off.
He didn’t want to take advantage, and he didn’t want some sort of pity or gratitude attraction.
He wanted Steve Rogers, heart and mind and all. Not a Steve who had decided he was in love simply because Loki meant safety and a way home.
Loki shook his head and pulled out the stone.
“I intend to take us back to our present today.” He said quietly. “This has gone on long enough. We’ve played pretend long enough, don’t you think? Our lives await us, in our own time, our destinies will not stop just because we have stepped out of the time stream.”
And he was certain Steve’s destiny would be far from his, or worse-- destined to be his end. They were so much the opposite of one another, Steve so good and he so wicked. This would not end the way he wanted it to. And even if Steve got what he wanted now… Loki was under no illusions. Steve would come to resent him the moment his head was on straight and the rest of their lives was before him.
“What? Loki, I thought-- you said that could destroy you!” Steve protested, his hands coming up as he stepped forward, hands closing around Loki’s hand that was holding the stone.
“Better than letting me destroy you.” Loki responded, just as earnest.
He wrapped his other hand around Steve’s wrist, and gave him no more time to argue.
“Hold on!” He warned, before letting the stone go-- opening himself to it as he had never done before.
He focused his thoughts on when they’d come from, the attack on the tower, the confusion of that night, Steve’s body crashing into his as the stone was activated. He held on to Steve with all the strength he had, and felt himself screaming-- singing-- falling--
And when they landed, the ground shook, upsetting the world around them. He could hear tires screeching to a halt and people shouting, could hear sirens and loud music, the sounds of a city, interrupted and shocked by that fact.
They were back, or very nearly.
All around them, the electrical grid shuddered and began to fail, New York City’s famous lights shutting down one block at a time.
“Fuck Twenty Twenty.” He heard someone grumbling as they flicked on the lights on their cell phone.
Close enough, Loki decided. He felt the ground shaking around him and closed his eyes for a moment, before realizing he was still standing, still holding onto Steve.
He opened his eyes and met Steve’s, taking in the shock on his face.
Loki dropped his hands.
“It seems I was right: it was easier to do a larger jump.”
“Easier-- Loki, Manhattan is all but blacked out!”
Loki flinched.
Of course-- he had put himself above all those affected by his decision. It was exactly what he’d warned Steve would happen if he gained control of the stone, after all.
Loki held the fisted hand out, and when Steve didn’t respond in kind, he simply dropped the stone at his feet.
“I am sorry.” He said, looking up again, and into Steve’s eyes. “I didn’t know it would happen. I didn’t mean any harm.”
That summarized all of it, he supposed. The whole adventure, Steve’s feelings, his own, the power outage, their return.
All at once, he’d had enough of feeling like a failure. Of feeling weak and destructive in turns, fated to do nothing but be a burden or cause harm.
He opened his mouth to say more, thought better of it, and turned on his heel, beginning to walk away.
Steve, however, grabbed onto him.
“Loki, what the hell?” He demanded, voice warm and close behind Loki’s ear just like it had been when they laid together. Even though they had never lain together.
“Have I not caused enough damage, Steve?” He demanded, pulling back and out of his arms, steeling himself against the disappointment he would see in his face.
But Steve didn’t look disappointed; he looked hurt, and confused, and… and angry.
“What damage? This?” Steve gestured with one arm out at the darkened city beyond. “You could fix it if you wanted to. I know you could. And you should. But this isn’t-- power outages happen, this isn’t damage the way you mean… what else?” He looked lost, and Loki hated that look on him.
“I don’t know, sending you rocketing backward through time, trapping you into a frozen wasteland, nearly getting you killed, forcing you to take care of me while I worked to fix my mistakes?” Loki spoke snidely.
“You saved the stone from Doom, you saved me from freezing, you got us both back here, at great personal cost, you’ve protected me and risked your life over and over again, and you think-- what, that I’m going to resent you for it?”
“I think so, yes. And your friends will see us together and decide I’ve done something to you, and they will turn against you for deigning to think fondly of me. You think I haven’t seen as much before, Steve? I have lived so many times your years, and I’ll live so many times more after you’re gone.”
Loki did not hide the hurt in his voice, even as a storm began brewing.
“So what, you won’t give me a chance, because other people in the past have fucked up? Because you’ve decided you know how this will end?”
“And what point is there in my staying, hm? I can’t help Barnes with the stone, and now you’ve seen what will happen, you see the destruction that using it causes. You won’t let anyone else use it, either.” The wind was whipping around him now, and he felt his hair stinging at his cheeks the same way the tears he would not allow to fall stung his eyes.
“Stay for me.” Steve called over the wind, his voice calm and strong despite the chaos around them. “Make the choice to do the right thing. There’s hospitals out there-- people who rely on power to breathe, people who need to see to be safe. We should help, try and get everything back online--”
Above them, a bolt of lightning hit a tall building, and from that point, several more bolts split off, arcing over the city and beginning to restore light to the darkened buildings all around it. It was unnatural, powerful, almost miraculous. The work of a god.
Thor had arrived.
Loki nodded at the feat, the lightning’s brightness still clinging to the dark of the sky, even as the ground below began to glow once more.
“As you can see, I’m not needed. You will always have better options than I, Captain.”
He turned away again and fled into the last remaining shreds of darkness, hoping to hide from the Odinson, the Avengers, and his own feelings, all at once.
This time, Rogers did not chase after him.
Loki didn’t know whether to be sad or bitter or grateful, about that.
