#capitalist enshittification

[nn129]

if i'm

"too overqualified"

for a job, i need to be "too overqualified" for these bills. i "get bored" of those shits too. WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT????

arson, immediately. that would be "impressive, but".

also the spam calls and spam texts are just about to drive me fucking insane. i want to throw my phone into a wall.

[nn129]

i'm really happy that after a couple of years being really nervous about them, i can have pretty nice dentist appointments...

and super-duper happy that i, an adult child, can get ✨candy and treats✨ for after said appointment, because sometimes you just gotta 😈🍪🍬

gonna scramble and see if i can get a wisdom tooth dealt with before i can't anymore after M×ssHe×lth things change May 4th...

[nn129]

absolutely [REDACTED] to report that "Learn 🅰️ℹ️ skills!!" have made it to career center flyers...

probably unrelated, but i feel like a 19th century literature, female main character who is "becoming hysterical" but really, she's just having a normal reaction to some absolute, state/husband/society sanctioned 🐂💩

[nn129]

every year, i am tempted to go back to my alma mater for the Alums and Prospective Grads Mixer to be evil and tell the babies that they might not get jobs in their fields of study immediately or at all...

one year i told folks that working for a temp agency to get office experience isn't a failing, and folks asked me for the number...

i graduated into the first of like 5 recessions in my adult life and it's been rough as hell. i just... i just hate the way these places lie to these kids man...

a college degree isn't "not worth it", and no one can ever take the work it takes to graduate from prospective grads, but this school (like all the others) is tracking you and also lying a bunch about what "success" means.

god, i should write a much bleaker The Places You'll Go and add shit about growing beyond relationships even when they seem rock solid, that community is more than just living in a house together, that community sometimes means working with people you don't like so much because you just so happen to be going in the same direction for the moment, that mutual aid is necessary but doesn't always mean money, that they baked bread after the fall of Rome and many many many other times in history too... Cassandra was right.

ugh, i'm tired now...

[nn129]

i'm in bed reading an article (this one: https://www.apmreports.org/episode/2019/08/22/whats-wrong-how-schools-teach-reading) about how kids are taught to read and i am screaming, crying, throwing up, and sliding down the walls mentally as i read it.

~~~

yes, nailing pedagogy is hard because of all the theories happening at the same time. but three-cueing?????????? oh, we've done a doozy to how generations of people understand how information is shared with them.

something that it feels like i'm picking up on, there's an idea that "speed" is being used as one of the factors of "success". not accuracy, but how fast someone gets through the reading. like, it takes time to sit with words to understand them, but kids are encouraged to guess at words, or skip them if they can't. teachers don't want to teach phonics, because they think they're tedious???? isn't that literally the fucking point with you're working with children? they're new, you have to show things down and break up concepts into digestible bits.

and how researchers talk about understanding what makes a skilled reader is from outside observation. and like, i get that. but i don't think understanding the internal process of reading is being considered. like, there was a whole online conversation about how some people literally draw mental pictures in their minds and some people can't visualize pictures and they only have words, and it was interesting to find out who was doing what. and there were some passages in the article that made it seem like people who could just connect words they've seen to previous exposure to those words were the "more skilled" readers. and if that line of thinking is discounting readers who are actively visualizing the things they're reading, i think that's weird. like that is just 2 different ways to access the context or content, i don't know. but understanding how this internal process that comes into play (and honestly, being given the tools to articulate it) feels like something that is missing from how we understand how people access words. i DEEPLY remember the phonics lessons on Sesame Street more than from school because i could refer to a little cartoon in my head. my god, one of the reasons i stopped reading when burnout hit is because my brain was seriously overclocking coming up with pictures for everything...

anyways, this article has my blood pressure up and i'm laying in bed reading it. it's my exercise for the damn day.

[nn129]

(i promise i am thinking about and talking with real people about real important things. mutual aid and community things. just far, far away from this hell site [FB].)

now that that's out of the way: the demon in me wants to try that goddamned baja blast soda pie SO bad. why do people never make mini pies?

they will however not get any money from me because i'm one of those blood-dry stones... and online recipes already exist

[nn129]

ya know, if i had a nickel for every time i signed up for a state back to work program that made lofty goals for the services they provide and used my social security number to get money from the state, but ultimately the program did not provide any of the help/services they'd said they would, and i left said state back to work program because i ended up getting a temp job, i'd have 2 nickels... which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice...

[nn129]

whenever i see people get pissy about people not reading regularly, it annoys me. reading =/= engaging critically with art, media (and propaganda), history, and context about the world we are in and i think it's an issue that people just gloss over by trying to see if you've read "enough"... something here is annoying...