They always stop talking whenever I walk into the room.
It doesn’t matter how loudly or how raucously they’re talking. As soon as I appear, it’s as if I summon a djinn of wind, and they can’t catch their breath, much less continue their chatter. They are all my age, somewhere between twelve and fifteen. Surely one would think they would have something to say to me. I am the heir to their throne, crown princess of a dying land annexed by forces outside our control. If nothing else, they should want to curry favor with me.
But they don’t. They never do.
Today it was before class began. I had already gotten up and done my morning chores, a practice my mother did not discourage despite my sudden elevation from exile to heir. She thought it was a good exercise in discipline and hard work. I thought it was a good excuse to escape the oppressive stares of my classmates. My cohort. My… Friends. What a worthless word here in this hostile and unfamiliar land.
I missed my desert homeland, the southern fortress of Findias where I had spent the first ten years of my life. Those first years had been good, peaceful ones that I'd spent with my parents and brother living in the sandstone fortress that guarded the pass into Findias. Perhaps we had been exiles but we had been together and we had been happy.
Then the war had come, sweeping away our happy times with fire and death and the smell of burning flesh. Findias fortress had fallen, our family ripped apart. Those last few years in the desert were a jumble of memories filled with fighting and screams. Sometimes I still woke up at night from nightmares of our burning fortress, trying to escape some terrible menace. We escaped and now Mother and I lived here, in this beautiful, elegant, and oppressive palace. And Father… and my brother…
I try not to think about them too often.
After morning chores I washed up and changed into an oversized tunic that came down past my knees. I had a good row with my nanny, a fussy woman who tried to make me wear some frilly gown and refused to let me do my own hair. After shouting at her that I would do as I pleased, I had snatched up my bookbag and slammed the door to my room, stomping to class and arriving much earlier than usual. So early in fact, that my sudden arrival had silenced the raucous conversation in the halls until our teacher arrived to open the door and usher us into class.
“Good morning, Your Majesty.” Lorelei doesn’t seem to notice the other youths’ sullen silence. He rarely does. I nodded to him and took my seat in the front row. There was an empty seat on my left and right. There was also an empty seat behind me. One would think that as Crown Princess, I’d at least have lackeys, or toadies, or at least a bootlicker. But despite my sudden elevation, I was a stranger here. My family had lived in exile from the central court my entire life, and while I did not remember everything that brought me to this place, I knew my cohort thought I didn’t belong. I didn’t disagree with them, and would have done much to be able to leave this awful place.
“Good morning, Lorelei,” I said politely as the teacher set a large tome on his desk at the front of the classroom. Class was held in one of the large solars that littered the palace, a room made entirely of crystal windows and elegant stone arches. Our desks are low tables and we sit on plush, brightly colored pillows. I actually enjoyed the subjects we learned about, though I had no doubt I would have enjoyed them better with my brother beside me and my father at the lectern.
While Lorelei started his lecture, I let my mind wander. Mum and I had arrived at the palace barely a week ago, returning from an extended stay at the Empyreal court of the angels. It had been a largely diplomatic visit, during which Mum had secured an alliance against the Despot from Pandemonium. Like most of the past year, I remembered little of our stay. I knew only that part of the visit had been because of me, and a faint sort of guilty itch spread its way down my spine whenever I thought back to it and the last few months in Findias. Something bad had happened. That much I knew for certain; why else would the most prominent Healer in all of Empyrean take such an interest in me?
It had been after the welcoming ceremony that Mum had taken me aside and explained that I was to be the next Queen of the elven courts. I still remembered the moment she had told me, remembered how my head hurt. The moment she had spoken, a sharp pain had lanced through my head, followed by a queasy feeling in my stomach. Mum had explained that with the old Queen dead, the throne should have passed to her. The elves passed their titles through the same sex sibling line, then to their descendants. Our longevity coupled with a low birthrate practically requires this.
But Mum was not going to be Queen. Instead when I came of age, I was to ascend the throne. I was still confused about that. Why couldn’t Mum take the throne? She had said it was because of something she had done. Something terrible and unforgivable, and if she held the throne the angels would not give us their support. And without them, she said, our kingdom would have already fallen to the demons. I’d thought our visit to the central palace had been just that- a visit. It wasn’t until she explained I was to be the next Queen that I’d realized we were staying. That didn’t mean I had to like it.
She had warned me that the court would be like this, with the uncomfortable silences and glares that followed me from place to place. The court had been very loyal to my predecessor Titania, and there were some who said that naming me heir apparent went against everything the old Queen had stood for. Bad enough I was an outsider from Findias. Worse, I was an exiled noble. But Mum said we were exiled nobles returning to take our rightful place at court. It was important, she said. It was right.
And I was still waiting for Father and Anibal to join us. Why hadn’t they? Briefly I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. I’d forgotten again. Forgotten they were dead, killed in the tumultuous battle that had destroyed Findias and was the prime reason I could never go home.
“Your Majesty? Princess Ter’Angres?”
My head jerked up at my name and I blinked, returning to the brightly lit classroom. A few girls were giggling behind their fans, their eyes on me as I stared at Lorelei stupidly. “Uh, what?”
Lorelei’s sharp features were patient. He was the kindest person I’d met at the palace and so far, the only one who didn’t treat me like a leper. “I asked, would you explain to the class what the Accord is and why it was necessary?”
Oh. Yeah. My feet had gone numb as I tried to stand, and I tripped over the folds of my long tunic. There was a smattering of laughter from my usually silent cohort as I straightened my tunic. I resisted the urge to glare at them. My cohort. Oh yes, and Mum thought I’d find friends among them.
I turned to face the class and straightened my shoulders, ignoring the familiar itch that crawled down my spine as I did so. There were only thirteen of us. Thirteen elven children in all the central territory, in all of Esras. Such a small class, I thought. What had happened to all the children in Esras? Were they all gone, killed in the war that had taken my brother and father?
Esras was the central territory, with Findias to the south, Murias to the west, and Falias to the east. The angels, being a more pragmatic sort, called these the southern, western, and eastern territories, all falling under the rule of the Central court, which they called the Elven Fields. My court. Or soon to be my court, anyway.
Each territory had a capitol, where the children went for school, training, and eventually, apprentice work. The capitols were also named for the territory, which was why the angels preferred to call our territories by their directional counterpart. The Healer had explained it to me briefly when I’d asked, and said it was too confusing to have both a city called and a territory both called Esras. I'd tried to explain to him that the city was Esras Proper, not Esras, but he'd insisted it was simpler just to call it the Central land. I'd tried to argue but he had told me to get rest and stop picking at technicalities.
The memories were clouding my mind, drawing my attention away from the subject I was supposed to be presenting on. I shook my head and my black hair flared around my face, still damp from my bath since I hadn't let my maid finish preparing it for court. It was damp and I tucked it behind my ears as I approached the lectern then turned to face the twelve other children. They all faced me, their expressions ranging from mild interest to outright dislike. I was surprised at that. It was the most emotion I had ever seen at a time.
"The Accord. Yes. Um." I stopped to gather my thoughts and saw a few of the others smirk at my discomfort. My fingers curled under my palms and I straightened my shoulders. Suddenly I knew what to say.
"The last five years have been hard. Our Elven Fields were torn apart by a civil war that only recently ended, and that ending is where the Accord began. Twenty years ago, the old Queen Titania exiled my mother and her family, sending us to the desert where we lived in relative obscurity until now. Fifteen years ago, the Lians ceded their land from the kingdom, declaring they would not swear allegiance to Queen Titania. In her desperation to keep the elven fields from falling apart, the Old Queen turned to the demons for help. This was her mistake and her downfall."
My voice rang through the room, stifling those snickers that had accompanied the smirks from before. I leaned forward, resting my arms on the lectern as my voice rose. "Once, the demons might have helped us. After all, their alliance with the elves goes back to our First Queen, who set aside her differences to create the Grand Alliance. This was, of course, five hundred thousand years ago. Before the Fall of Assiah. Now, there has been no King in Hell since Assiah's fall, but my predecessor the Old Queen thought we could perhaps trust the Despot who rules in the King's place. This was a mistake, of course. The Despot agreed to help the Old Queen. In exchange for soldiers, she gave him permission to hunt for slaves among the Uscians in the north and the Findians of the south."
"That's not what happened," contradicted a boy with hair the color of spring daisies. His eyes were a bright emerald green and he wore an ermine tunic.
"That is what happened," I contradicted him. "And Lorelei asked me to tell the story so shut up and listen."
It was rude but it worked. THe boy crossed his arms and frowned at me, a furrow appearing in his brow. I returned to the story, ignoring the itch that worked its way up and down my spine. "The Old Queen thought the Despot would be happy hunting in two of our five territories. He was to leave Murias, Falias, and Esras untouched. She was wrong.
"When the Despot turned his attention to taking the people in all territories regardless of their allegiance to the Old Queen, she knew we would need help. But negotiations with the Empyreans had just broken down. They wanted our sacred clay and she would not give it to them. The Empyreans removed their reinforcements from the fields, leaving us vulnerable to the demons that Despot sent against us. For two years we lived in what amounted to open warfare between our people and at least two enemies." I took a deep breath. Here was where things got murky.
"After two years, the Old Queen called for a cease fire with the Empyreans and with Findias in the south. She asked for a congress, a meeting with her exiled sister, my Mother, and what remained of our allies in Empyrean. From that congress the Accord would be born."
The Congress was supposed to have happened the year before my lost memories. I recalled Mum's cautious excitement about it. Recalled her hopes that her marriage to Phenex, an Empyrean himself, would be seen once more as an alliance of blood and kin, not as the abomination the Old Queen called it. I recalled meeting my half brother and his people for the first time. Then I recalled blood and fire and screams…and nothing m ore.
"But the Congress never happened," another boy called. This one's dark hair and eyes were nearly lost against his onyx skin. Against that dusky flesh his pewter tunic seemed to glow.
I shook off my faulty memories again. "No, it did not. Instead, Findias fell and war returned to the Elven Fields. The Old Queen was killed by our enemies and we thought we would lose our kingdoms once and for all. We signed a revised Accord with Empyrean to stop the despot from taking our lands-"
“Who’s ‘we’?” one of the girls interrupted. I was startled. It was the first time one of the others had bothered to speak to me, even in a formal setting such as a classroom. She was a dainty brunette with wide eyes the color of good honey and a triangular face. Her tunic hugged her narrow frame and when she moved, it didn’t snag around her legs like mine did. She stood, smoothing the tunic around herself as she did so. "There was no 'we'. It was just your Mum, isn’t that right? The Exiled Lady Myssira, who has not been at court in over ten years and knew nothing about our current state of affairs, and who didn’t even see it fit to bring this Accord before the council, is that right?”
“Saysha-” Lorelei’s voice was low but I shook my head.
“Oh, no, it’s alright, Lorelei.” I took a step forward and raised my voice. My temper was short at the best of times. Uncomfortable as I was and as awkward as the last week had been, I needed little goading. “That’s right, Saysha. She signed the Accord so she could save our kingdoms. Is that a problem?"
Saysha leaned forward, her amber eyes gleaming in the early morning light. "Yes, it's a problem. Your mother has no idea how things should be done. She's been away from her people for twenty years and she thinks she can just sign anything into law-"
I laughed, a brittle and mocking sound as all my anger and frustration spilled out onto the hapless girl. "Oh yes. However could Mother not know what has been happening in Esras for twenty years? How ignorant she must be, when Findias had been taking in countless refugees fleeing the Queen's wrath when they dared speak out against her. How dare my mother not hand over half her people to the demon slavers! My Mother, who defended Esras even though it meant the fall of Findias Fort, who never opened her gates to let in an army to slaughter the elven citizens. My Mother, knows more about how to be right and proper than any of you inbred morons, and she secured the only alliance that keeps the rest of us out of the Despot’s slave pens!"
"That's not true!" Now the boy with daisy-colored hair was on his feet. "Your mother signed us into slavery with the Empyreans, and she did it so she could save your filthy nephilim blood from their executioners' axe!"
“That is ENOUGH!” Lorelei’s hand was on my arm. Temper boiling, I glared at it and it fell away. "Thank you for your… concise retelling of events, your majesty. If you could be seated-"
"NO!" I shouted. "The Accord saved our people! It did not enslave anybody!"
"Prove it!" the boy yelled back. "Your mother killed the queen so she could put you on the throne! You're just an Empyrean puppet and not a proper elven lady at all! The Accord is trash, worthless-"
I opened my mouth to shout at him but Lorelei's hand gripped my arm again, fingers pinching. The pain cut through my anger and I saw his cerulean eyes were inches from mine. "Sit down, majesty. I will put this to rights."
His calm voice cut through my anger but it was in no way abated. I jerked away and sneered at the boy, then stalked away from the lectern and returned to my seat, ignoring the feel of her gaze on me. The skin on my back was trying to crawl off my spine as the others glared at me. I kept my chin raised and stared at Lorelei, waiting for him to speak.
The Murian remained at the lectern for several long minutes while mutters ran through the others around me. I ignored them and kept my hands clenched in my lap.
"Clearly, there are strong feelings left from the wars," Lorelei said quietly, his deep voice dry. This was such a rich understatement that I had to cough to hide my laugh. "While there are many finer points that can be debated, we are all in agreement on these things. We needed allies against the Despot's soldiers. The Accord gave us those allies. WIthout it, we likely would no longer have a single kingdom, much less the five we know today. Now, I would like you all to take out your pencils and write this down."
Still angry, I fumbled in my bag to snatch up a pencil but it crisped to ash almost as soon as my finger closed around it. Surprised, I realized small curls of smoke were rising from the leather of my bookbag where I gripped it. Quickly dropping the bag I folded my hands under the table and listened while Lorelei gave us homework- to research and write an essay on how and why the Accord came into existence. And though it hardly surprised me, I realized Lorelei had no intention of correcting the boy's erroneous assumption that the Accord was a document enslaving the elven people to the Empyreans. At first I wondered why and then I realized..
Like me, Lorelei was a newcomer in Esras. He was from Murias, and Mum had invited him here to serve as the teacher to the children of the court. Unlike me, Lorelei dressed for court. His long hair was a pale shade of blue, his skin a deeper turquoise that was accented by the rich amber velvet tunic he wore. There were gills along his neck, black gashes against his dark skin that rippled sinuously. They were like little mouths in his flesh, gasping for air they couldn't breathe. I knew the Morfessans could not breathe air, and Lorelei wore an amulet that kept him alive when he was outside the water. He was a naiad, and I recalled from my father's lessons that naiads could only walk on land so long as they had magical help. The Morfessan family was one that had remained loyal to the Old Queen in troubled times. They were Murian and though the demons targeted their people eventually, they had been no allies of ours in the early years.
That was what Mum had done, too, though her clan was from the noble elven stock. Findians came from every clan and fey tribe, often driven out of Esras, Murias, or Falias when they refused to secede their land and titles to the elves who wanted them so badly. That infighting was what led to the old Queen giving the Despot permission to hunt for slaves in her kingdom. So long as he never took so-called pureblooded elves, he was free to take whomever he desired.
Of course, the Despot wouldn’t have been content with that. Which was why Mum had gone to Empyrean, and why Mum had to sign the Accord. With the entire might of the demons behind him, the Despot would have easily crushed our much smaller kingdom. No matter how much Saysha or her ilk harped, Mum had done us a world of good.
Then again, did she even see the fey clans as equals? I glanced at Saysha, taking in her perfect profile. The sloping forehead, triangular chin, and elegantly pointed ears all marked her as elven. So did her narrow shoulders and lanky build, but the dryads, naiads…Hells, every fey clan had those features. It was only the fact that her father toadied up to the Queen that kept her from being called a “dryad.”
I wondered how she would take me asking her what sort of tree she turned into and smothered a smirk. Saysha glowered at me suspiciously but Lorelei was clearing his throat. He turned around to regard us with his odd, slit-pupiled eyes.
“Miss Saysha, your comments were improper, especially considering your family’s standing,” Lorelei said to Saysha. According to our custom, her breach of etiquette had been greater than mind, and had to be addressed first.
Saysha glared at me. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“That is a matter that can be debated. Later. Out of my classroom. Here, we use respect and we do not denigrate anyone based on their bloodline.” Lorelei pressed his fingertips together, spreading the webbing between them. “We are all fey, Saysha. Some of us are simply more…exotic than others.”
She snorted but didn’t argue. Lorelei waited a moment, then continued, “I will have a full report on the Accord, including the history of our relations with Empyrean going back to the fall of Assiah.”
Saysha’s jaw dropped. “But- that’s-”
“It will take time, yes. A rough draft will be on my desk by sundown by the dark of the moon, and a final draft by the first quarter.” She had about two weeks to finish the project. I smothered my glee and tried to look serious as Lorelei turned to me.
“Your Majesty,you must learn to control your temper. I’ll have a five page essay on the importance of emotional control in magic, due sundown on the Day of Contemplation.”
That gave me about three days to write the paper. The elven court worked four days, then had three days of rest. The first day of rest was called Contemplation, followed by Restoration and Recreation. I bowed stiffly and turned to go when Lorelei called me back.
“Princess Ter’Angres, if you’ve a moment?”
I didn’t really have anything to do after class, except wash up and prepare for our afternoon training so I turned around and walked back up to Lorelei’s desk. Saysha flounced out past me, smacking me with her bag as she did so. I ignored her. “What is it?”
“I know you’ve been at court only a short time, but… Are you well? Settling in?” Lorelei’s gravelly voice was gentle, like he thought I’d snap at him for being so personal but I was too busy being surprised to be offended by his prying.
“Well it’s…” I tried to think of an unoffensive way to to say “Horrible and I want to go home.”
“Difficult?” Lorelei offered and I laughed, surprised at his directness.
“Yes. I miss Findias and the others… Well, Saysha might be the one saying it, but they’re all thinking it.” I shrugged one shoulder. “I wish Papa was here. He’d know what to do.”
His odd eyes softened in understanding and sympathy and realizing what I’d said I backpedaled quickly. I didn’t want his pity, I’d only wanted to say Father had good advice. “I’d better get going. Mum wants me to meet with one of the local healers before she releases me for training.”
“Your Majesty-” Lorelei tried but I was already trotting out the door.
“See you tomorrow, Lorelei!” I yelled over my shoulder. My bookbag thumped against my itching spine, momentarily easing the crawling skin as I increased my pace. There was one good thing about the central palace, I thought. The halls were so wide and so long that it was easy to get up a good run. Ani and I would have-
I cut off the thought as my chest constricted painfully. Ani was dead. Papa was dead. All that was left was Mum and me, and I had to survive long enough to become Queen and have babies of my own. It didn’t matter if Ani and I would have had great races down these halls, or how we could have ridden our coomlean through the huge fields that surrounded the palace. It didn’t matter that he’d have stood up and told Saysha to shut her fat prejudiced mouth. It didn’t matter because he was gone.
My eyes burned and I rubbed them fiercely, hating that I wanted to cry. The pain was strange. I hadn’t ever seen the bodies. There had been a memorial but a memorial with no bodies is just an uncomfortable party where everyone wears black and pretends to be sad. I kept expecting to see them both, in our new wing at the palace or out and about in the gardens. Ani would have joined the squires this year, and after training for the next five years, he would have joined the elite Grey guardians. Now he wouldn’t do anything. He was just… Dead.
Slipping and sliding on the marble tiles I took the corner at a full run, nearly trampling a group of slow-moving courtiers. One glared after me and I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out, instead racing past a pair of guards in ceremonial armor. The click of my boots faded between one step and the next as I entered the administrative wing of the palace, where the floors were covered in plush carpets. Two more twists and a stairwell later, I was in front of the door that led to my Mum’s office. She was always here, working on some project or the other. I raised my hand to knock but the door was already ajar and I heard raised voices.
“…Cannot work miracles, milady! I need your support to make any headway with that girl!”
It was my maid. Her name slipped my mind but I knew I disliked her. What else did I need to know? I crept closer and listened at the door. Through the crack I could see Mum’s large desk gleaming in the sunlight that poured through the window.
“She’s a child, not a pet or a houseplant.” Even just hearing her voice I knew Mum was irritated. I heard shuffling papers and a loud click.
“And she’ll never be ready to rule if she doesn’t learn proper court etiquette!” the maid was protesting. “She’s all uncombed hair and skinned knees and she looks like she hasn’t had a proper fitting since before the Accord!”
“That’s because she. Is. A. Child. If you cannot manage her, I’ll find someone who can.” I grinned broadly, pleased that I still had my Mum. I might miss Ani and Papa but at least Mum was still here.
“Good luck finding someone else. You’ve hired and fired all the maids in the palace,” the woman said with a sneer that I could hear even if I couldn’t see it.
“All the elven maids, perhaps. Perhaps I’ll find a scullion who is willing to let children be children, and you can have her job.” Mum didn’t promote or demote people based on their bloodline. She cared more about results.
“You wouldn’t dare!” the maid gasped, apparently horrified at the thought of scrubbing pans. I’d heard enough and knocked loudly, then threw open the door. It banged against the wall and bounced back toward me but I caught it, swinging my bookbag off my shoulder and onto the couch in Mum’s informal waiting room.
“Good afternoon!” I sang, skipping into the room to give Mum a kiss on her cheek. The maid, an elven girl wearing a frilly pink dress, sat with her lips pursed in disapproval. Under her gaze I was acutely aware of every scuff, wrinkle, and smear of ash on my tunic.
“Good afternoon, darling. How was class?” At my grimace, Mum laughed and brushed some hair out of my eyes. “That bad, huh?”
“You spoil her, milady,” the maid grumbled.
“Of course I spoil her. She’s the only child I’ve left to me.” Mum’s voice was crisp as I sat on her desk facing her. “Now, get out.”
The maid left, grumbling all the way and as soon as she was gone, Mum relaxed. She sighed and put her head down on the desk. “She’s right, isn’t she?” I asked, picking at a hangnail. “No one else wants to work with me.”
“Your attitude could use an adjustment,” Mum replied, grinning up at me. I grinned back, liking her humor. We got to see so little of each other these days. Mum was kept busy by the old Queen’s council and cleaning up the political mess the old Queen had left behind. We normally saw one another briefly during meals, then again right before I went to bed. The rest of the time I was shuttled between classes, fittings, trainings, and other events that were supposed to prepare me for Queendom.
“I’ll have you know I haven’t bitten anyone recently,” I informed Mum primly and she laughed.
“Well thank the gods for that. Who knows what the council would do if you bit one of them.”
“Probably declare I have rabies or something,” I suggested cynically. Mum sighed and straightened.
“Probably. Are you ready for your appointment?” she asked.
“Yes, but why do I need to go again?” I asked. Okay, whined. I didn’t like healers much and after spending weeks in the Healer’s infirmary in Empyrean, it felt like torture to go back.
“Lord Raphael asked that we check up on you… Your health.” Mum had been about to say something else, but had caught it. I frowned at her.
“You weren’t going to say health,” I accused.
Mum sighed. “No I wasn’t, but I’m not going to tell you what I was going to say. Now come on. They haven’t got a proper healer here, so we’ll be seeing a medic. His name is Kieren and he is their Chief Healer.”
Healers were able to use magic to stitch wounds and diagnose illnesses. It was a rare talent, and after the war there were fewer than a handful left in all of the elven fields. Medics were much more common, using herbs, salves, and catgut to treat their patients. Mum stood and gestured for me to join her. “Are you going to appoint a Chief Healer?” I asked as we left her office. I left my bookbag in her office, where I could retrieve it after we finished with the infirmary.
“Of course,” Mum replied, startled at my question. “I just hope we can find a decent healer. We lost a lot of people during the war.”
The war. For me, it was an invisible war that I never witnessed but had only the aftermath and others’ stories to tell me of it. After the Queen had declared it allowable for the demons to start hunting our people, Mum had called for a congress with the angels. At the time it had just been us at Findias and a small entourage of angels. But then a decree came down banning all angelic relations between our people and theirs. The war happened because part of that decree included hunting and executing nephilim, or half-angels like me.
Part of the Accord rescinded that order but the damage was already done. Zealots who feared the intermingling of the races had set about going through the countryside and slaughtering any nephilim and those who sheltered them. That was how Ani and Papa had died. They would have killed me and Mum as well but our angelic friends had gotten us to safety. Mum had been badly hurt during the fighting…and something else had happened… But I didn’t remember any of it.
“Maybe they have healers in Uscia,” I suggested. “They didn’t get involved in the fighting, right?”
“I’m sure the Despot’s people were hunting in Uscia, but no, they had little to do with the Accord or the fighting that happened before it. That is actually a wonderful idea. I’ll send a message through the mirrors after your appointment.” Mum turned a corner and I hurried to keep up, smiling smugly. Saysha didn’t know it, but I was good at this stuff. Mum usually had me act as her scribe, writing messages while she worked on official court documents. She said it was good practice for when I’d be Queen, plus she hated how her handwriting looked.
“In the meantime, you must respect Medic Kieren,” Mum continued sternly, stopping in the middle of the hallway to glare at me. “No mouthing off.”
I wrinkled my nose and scowled back at her. “Only if he doesn’t mouth off first.”
Mum tried to keep her face stern but a smile tugged the corners of her mouth. “Alright,” she relented. “If he mouths off, you can mouth back at him. Just…try to keep your temper. We don’t want another incident like the one this morning.”
Oh, so she’d seen the charcoal streaks on my tunic. I cringed and tried to brush them away again. Mum laughed and tugged my arm gently. “Stop. It’s a lost cause by now.”
“Fine,” I grumbled and we started walking again. The healers’ wing was across the palace from the administrative wing, a long walk even if we cut through the main palace halls. Which we didn’t. The weather was nice outside, and Mum had been indoors far too long working with the elven council .
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Mum asked while we walked down the winding path through a rose garden that had been left to grow wild. A quarter mile in the distance I saw a spiraling tower with much of its roof caved in. Workers swarmed around the building’s foundation, digging it up or reinforcing it, I don’t know. But they were as numerous as ants crawling a log, and just as industrious. I wondered if they thought the weather was nice today or if the sun made their work sweaty and tedious.
“It wasn’t anything important,” I reassured Mum, but she didn’t look convinced.
“You lost your temper,” she pointed out.
I shrugged a shoulder and settled for a grunt in reply, which of course wasn’t satisfactory to Mum. “Did someone say anything to you, or…?”
“It was just Saysha again,” I said quickly. I knew how testy Mum got about the girl and her family, all old country and all steadfastly loyal to my predecessor. Sure enough, Mum’s face darkened and she gritted her teeth.
“What did she say this time?”
I knew that tone. Mum wasn’t going to take any more dodging or avoiding of the question. “She just said the Accord was bad,” I mumbled.
Mum pursed her lips, crossing her arms. “You wouldn’t have gotten angry if that’s all it was.”
“Well and she… Called me a half-breed,” I admitted grudgingly.
“Oh, that little brat! She thinks her father’s seat on the council will keep her out of trouble, does she? What did your teacher do?” If she could have, I think Mum would have been breathing fire then.
“He gave her a paper to write, about the Accord and the history between angels and elves,” I said. “A full dissertation, he called it.”
That seemed to please Mum. Her shoulders went back down and she stopped gritting her teeth at least. “I knew Lorelei would be a good choice as a teacher here. But you tell me if anyone else says anything like that. I won’t have any talk about dirty blood or such nonsense. Not in my daughter’s court.”
Her support was reassuring. I knew it had to be hard for Mum, but she was all I had and I was all she had. It didn’t matter how bad the courts were or how much I was teased. My mum was on my side, and she was worth a thousand Sayshas.
We reached the healers’ wing and entered the dim hall. The sharp scent of nettle and willow bark met my nose, and I sneezed. Rubbing my nose I said hoarsely, “Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Mum was looking around the wing, searching for directions to the Chief Healer’s office.
“That way, I think,” I said, spotting a tidily dressed apprentice healer step out of a nearby room.
“Ah, yes.” Mum crossed the hall and knocked, then waited for a moment. Her slippered foot tapped the tile impatiently while she waited for a reply. When the door didn’t open she put her hand on the knob and pushed the door open.
The sharp scent of medicine and herbs tickled my nose and I sneezed again, rubbing it as I followed Mum into the spacious room. A large sandalwood screen separated the front area from the back, and I assumed the front was a sort of waiting space while the back was where healers and medics actually performed their work. There was a large fountain taking up most of the space against the wall closest to me, and I stepped closer, examining the shining stones the water poured over. Its music was soothing.
Footsteps slapped against the tile and I straightened, unconsciously scooting closer to Mum as a tall man appeared around the screen. He wasn’t wearing the tidy uniform of a medic, to my surprise, but a richly detailed tunic with heavy gold embroidery on the sleeves and collar. Those sleeves were long but tightly gathered at his wrists, to keep the silken fabric out of whatever work he might have done. Likewise, his pants were tucked into calf-high boots, which were made of very shiny leather.
I couldn’t help but compare his appearance to the Lord Healer I’d briefly met in Empyrean. Though much younger, Raphael had worn his sleeves long enough to cover his hands, but tied the sleeves out of the way when he worked. HIs healer’s robes had been made of sturdy cotton, not silk, and hadn’t any embroidery. There had been plenty of old stains, though. Whether they were from blood or from acid or some other thing, he would never tell me. Splashes of liquid had also covered his plain cloth shoes. His fingers were long and gentle, but the tips were cracked and dry. This medic’s hands were as soft and supple as any noble’s.
Finally I forced myself to look up into his face, expecting to see the neutral-hostile expression I’d come to expect in Esras. Instead, his angular face was bright and he wore a welcoming smile. “Right on time as usual, I see,” he said to Mum and to my surprise she laughed.
“You know I wouldn’t miss this if the world was ending, Kieren.” Placing a hand on my shoulder she said, “This is the princess, Ter’Angres. My daughter.”
“And what a lovely daughter she is.” Kieren bowed low, meeting my gaze with his own. Under arched brows his eyes were a deep dark green. I searched for some sign of antagonism, of dislike, but his compliment had caught me off guard. I blushed and bowed, not sure what to say.
“So, we are here to be sure that the Lord Healer’s procedure hasn’t had any lasting effects, is that correct?” Kieren straightened, finally releasing me from his gaze and turning it to Mum.
“Yes. Raphael was concerned, since they rarely use such… a drastic procedure on children,” Mum replied, her own gaze steady as she conversed with Kieren. Her hand was still on my shoulder and I ducked away, slipping behind the adults and into the actual infirmary.
It was as bright, clean, and antiseptic as I expected, with half a dozen or so beds lining one wall to my right. Across from them was a long counter and examining table and at the other end of the room were three closed doors. Each led to an isolation room, I assumed. It was rare for elves to catch diseases but even we had to be prepared. Maybe one was a storage cabinet, since I didn’t see any other doors except for one to my left, right where the table ended.
Curious, I reached out for its knob but suddenly a soft hand with clean, smooth nails stopped me. “There is nothing in there for you, milady, simply my office,” Kieren said with another bright smile. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like you up on the examining table.”
Awkward, I let go of the office door and turned to hop onto the table with the aid of a small stool. It was a tall table and I swung my legs, waiting for the medic to begin his examination. I wondered what it would be like. The healers in Empyrean had only to wave their hands at me and they knew exactly what was wrong. But medics had no healing touch and no magic to assist them. How would Medic Kieren know if I was well or not?
Apparently he needed to do lots of poking and prodding. More than once he asked me to get down and walk across the room, then sprint. Then he had me open my mouth, say “ahh” a few times, and leaned back, frowning. “Is something wrong?” Mum asked. She had been watching the whole exchange with more than a little anxiety.
“She’s a bit underweight, but her color is good.” None of that explained Kieren’s frown, however.
Kieren turned to me. Unlike other adults, he met my eyes when he spoke to me. He didn’t look away or over my head, instead meeting my gaze directly. It was unsettling, but I liked it. So few people wanted to admit I was their new princess, that a new regime was beginning. Kieren didn’t seem to mind, though.
“Milady, may I speak to your mother privately?” he asked.
I looked up at Mum, who smiled at me reassuringly. But I saw a hint of anxiety on her face. She wanted to speak to him alone, and she was worried about what he was going to say. I could have argued or fussed about being talked over, but Kieren’s behavior was so refreshingly different all I could do was nod.
“There is a small courtyard through that door,” Kieren said, nodding to one of the doors I had thought led to an isolation ward. “Please wait out there until we come get you.”
“Alright,” I said reluctantly. I crossed the room and opened the door, then went outside. It did indeed lead to a small enclosed courtyard, with another large fountain dominating the space. There were benches scattered throughout the courtyard. I assumed they were for patients and walked over to one to sit down. A second later I stood up again and walked around the fountain, examining the worn marble closely. Soft moss was growing out of the cracks in the marble and bees buzzed around in the spray of the water. Unafraid, I let one land on my finger and watched its rapidly buzzing wings stir the air.
A soft chuff came from behind me and I whirled, startled. A large feline was on top of the roof of the infirmary, staring down at me with intelligent-seeming blue eyes. It was heavily muscled and covered in rich golden fur, but it looked as if it had seen better days. There were scars in that fur, and it was favoring its front leg. I examined it critically as it examined me, taking in the rough mane around its face. What was a lion doing in Esras?
Lions were native to Findias, in the south. I’d never seen one this far up north. I guess it hadn’t seen elves before either, because it was staring at me, completely unafraid. Then it hopped down from the roof, moving like liquid gold. I stayed still as it walked up to me on paws that were larger than my head. If it…no, he… If he flexed those claws and swung at me, he could take off my head in a single swipe. He was huge and he slunk over, still favoring that right front leg as he did so.
Standing, he was almost as tall as me, making him incredibly big for a lion. I could have easily ridden on his back, though I knew better than to try and mount a strange lion. His eyes were an odd blue I’d never seen before, at least not for a lion. He came within a few feet of me and shoved his head forward, sniffing the hem of my long tunic. I let him, wondering where he had come from. Nobody had warned us a wild lion was loose. Perhaps he was a coomlean for someone, a familiar that had gone out for a walkabout?
The lion lifted his head and brushed his nose along my tunic, sniffing the charcoal streaks, then he circled me and I felt him snuffling along my back. His tail was missing fur, I noticed, and the tuft that should have been at the end of it was gone. Had he gotten into a fight?
His nose bumped my fingers suddenly and I felt more than heard a deep rumbling purr. He rubbed his head against my hand and I giggled. I obliged the strange lion and scratched his nose as he leaned against me. It was like leaning against a beam of sunlight made solid: warm, comforting, and bright. Clearly he was friendly, too. Emboldened by his apparent friendliness, I ran my fingers along his short muzzle and around his eyes, to his ears. Though he looked well-fed, his wounds worried me. “What happened to you?” I asked quietly. His ears flicked forward, then back and he stepped away from me suddenly.
“What’s wrong?” I asked as his tail started lashing. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking at the door to the infirmary, which was opening. I turned to see Mum and Kieren exiting. When I turned around, all I saw of the lion was his tail as he disappeared over the wall.
Disappointed that I couldn’t introduce my strange friend to Mum, I walked over to the two adults. Now Mum’s face wore the same solemn, worried look Kieren’s had had earlier. “What’s wrong?” I asked again.
“T…” Mum crouched down so we were face to face. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to cancel your training with the knights for now.”
Of all the things I expected, that was not one of them! “What? How come?” I demanded.
“Kieren’s worried that the exertion is having a negative effect on your… health,” Mum replied reluctantly. “It’ll only be for a few weeks. He has a medicine he wants you to take and then we’ll come back and he’ll do another examination.”
“But Mum, I feel fine!” I protested. “Really fine! I haven’t had any symptoms for over a week, that’s why the Healer— healer boy said I could come home in the first place!”
“I’m not sure Lord Raphael was aware just how difficult palace life would be for you,” Kieren explained gently. “You were sneezing earlier in the hall-”
“That’s cuz your herbs stink!” I interrupted. Unperturbed, he continued.
“And your back has been bothering you, hasn’t it? Been sore, aching?”
My jaw dropped and I couldn’t think of a response. How had he been able to tell that just from having me walk around? Maybe being a medic wasn’t such a bad thing after all. “You’ve been moving stiffly,” Mum admitted to me, her jade green eyes soft as she pleaded for me to be reasonable.
I didn’t want to be reasonable. Of all the things that had been getting me through the day, going out and hitting something had been one of the biggest motivators. Mum had taught me long ago how to channel my frustration into physical activity, usually of the martial arts. And all elves had some knight training! I’d be the only one sitting out those classes. I was already different enough. I didn’t need this to make it worse.
But if it was only for a few weeks… Mum’s day was hard enough without me throwing a temper tantrum. I crossed my arms sullenly. “Fine.”
It wasn’t anything like fine, but her expression cleared and she smiled brightly. “It’s just for a little while. You’re probably just getting used to palace life, like Kieren said. We’ve pretty much thrown you to the wolves around here, and a little rest is hardly a bad thing.”
That’s what she said. But I forced myself to smile stiffly and say, “Yeah. I guess so.”
“Come in and I’ll give you your first dose,” Kieren said, gesturing for us to follow him back inside. After being out in the sunshine, the infirmary felt dim and claustrophobic. Kieren disappeared into his office and came out with a bottle of small pellets. He offered it to me and I took it with a puzzled frown.
“These are tinctures, distilled into a pellet that you swallow,” he explained. “Take one with every meal for the next week, alright?”
I didn’t like this. Healers had never given me pellets, like I was some sort of rabbit that needed feeding. They’d simply handed me an infused tincture or tea, or salve. But I obediently swallowed one under the adults’ watchful eyes, grimacing as the dry thing went down. “Are you sure it’ll work?” I asked.
“Positive.” I met Kieren’s eyes and saw a glitter of triumph in those dark depths. He smiled and bowed again, clearly relieved I hadn’t put up more of a fight when he handed me the medication. I didn’t smile back at him.
“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” Mum asked as we left Kieren’s office and headed back to the administrative wing.
I didn’t reply, still angry that I wasn’t going to be able to go to the training grounds with my cohort of so-called peers. This was just one more thing Saysha and her cronies would hold over me, and I resented being forced into it, even if it was for my own good. Besides, what else was I supposed to do with my day, now? Training took place until just before suppertime, when the children were released to assist the servants with preparing the meal and serving the adults. I couldn’t help with the serving work, but now I had nothing to do until it was time for supper.
My silence didn’t go unnoticed. “T… You know this is for your own good,” Mum pointed out.
“Yeah, that’s what the Medic says. How come we can’t get a second opinion? What about Lord Raphael?” I asked. “He’d know best.”
“Lord Raphael is busy with his own people, T. He can’t come running whenever you have a fever or a sore back,” Mum replied sternly. “He’s not your personal servant.”
“I know that. It’s just…” I sighed and realized my arms were still crossed over my chest. We were getting close to her office, where I could get my bookbag and then… Go where?
“What’m I supposed to do if I can’t go train with the others?” I demanded.
“Just go to your room and rest,” Mum advised me as she opened the door to her office. There were two men waiting for her. Both wore a dark grey uniform. One was slightly shorter than the other but they were oddly similar, with the same triangular face, lanky limbs, and icy eyes.
“Staldy!” I exclaimed in surprise and pleasure. My eldest cousin, Ma’Stald, was also a captain in the Grey Guard. I rarely saw him since his duties usually took him far from Esras, and it was rare that he came to the palace itself. “What are you doing here?”
Ma’Stald smiled at me tightly, but his entire stance was stiff, unhappy. I looked between him and the heavily scarred, older version of him. That must be Commander Brandeis, then. The Commander was holding a tightly sealed parchment envelope out to Mum. She took it with a frown.
“What’s this?” she asked, breaking the seal and pulling out a thinner piece of parchment. “Another missive from the Empyreal council? We’ve only returned a week and… A summons?”
“They’ve captured the rebel angels and want us to send a witness to the judging,” Commander Brandeis said.
Mum frowned, rubbing her thumb along the parchment. “Us?” she repeated. The Grey did not consider themselves a part of the elven nation. It was rare to hear Brandeis speak of himself and his guard as part of court proceedings.
“Yes. A Grey Guardian and an emissary from the palace. The Lady of the Throne to be precise.” Clearly the Commander was unhappy about sending one of his people to this judging.
But Mum seemed distracted, her gaze distant and thoughtful. “So it’s over, then?” she asked.
“It seems to be,” Brandeis replied.
“And they took him alive?”
I didn’t know who “he” was. “What are you talking about?” I asked but to my surprise, Mum shushed me.
“I’m afraid this is something I must handle myself, my sweet,” she said, trying to smile and soften the blow. But the expression on her face was one of sadness and pain, and I didn’t know why this letter was making her feel that way.
“No, Princess. You cannot attend this Judgement.” It was the first time I’d ever had Brandeis address me directly. His entire manner was distant, uninterested, yet slightly irritated at the proceedings, and I bristled at it. To my mother he said, “The Blood Dealer doesn’t care for what the Accord says and will mete out the judgement he sees fit.”
“They released the Dealer?” Mum asked, sounding horrified.
Ma’Stald spoke for the first time then. “It appears it wasn’t planned, but now that the Dealer is here, he will be handing out the judgement. It’s an angelic affair and I don’t see why we are being dragged into it.”
Unlike his commander, Ma’Stald sounded indignant. Clearly he thought this all a waste of time and resources. “Luckily for you, you don’t have to see why we are being dragged into this,” Mum told him. She sighed and folded the letter into quarters, then slipped it into a voluminous pocket of her tunic. “I suppose if I refuse to attend, the next summons will be as a witness?” she asked Brandeis.
“Or as one of the accused,” he replied indifferently. I looked between the three elders and saw Mum frown at him.
“You used to care about what happened to this family,” she said accusingly.
“I did,” he agreed. “Times change, milady. Being in your sister’s care… Well, I’m sending the boy in my stead.”
“You’re sending Ma’Stald?” Mum repeated him like she wasn’t sure she’d heard him right. “What about Nurid?”
I didn’t know who Nurid was, but from Mum’s tone I could tell she thought he’d be better suited than Ma’Stald. That meant he was probably a more senior officer, someone who knew more about the proceedings that were about to take place.
“Yes. Nurid is indisposed, and he needs to learn how to take command as it is. My time is short.” Brandeis’ matter of fact voice didn’t hide the thread of impatience woven through his words. It tangled them together, making what should have been a simple statement into something more.
“I know,” Mum said softly, and she sounded regretful. Suddenly, she remembered I was there. “T, get your bookbag and show Ma’Stald to the room he may use until we go. I assume we must leave immediately?” she asked Brandeis.
“The judgment starts at dawn. I believe the proceedings will take three days or so. Do you have a caretaker for the Princess?” Now he was carefully not looking at me. I frowned at the Commander, now sure that I disliked him. He only addressed me once and now he refused to look at me? It was rude beyond all belief.
“I don’t need a caretaker,” I said loudly. “I’m not a child.”
“Yes you are,” Mum replied firmly. She rubbed her nose and stared at me for a long time, frowning. At last she said, “Do you remember Naia?”
“Yes, she’s one of your shield maidens,” I replied, puzzled as to why she would ask. Naia had stayed behind in Findias to help with rebuilding.
Mum didn’t explain and only looked at Brandeis silently. He sighed and scowled at her. “We Grey are not here to be your servants.”
“You know why this is important,” Mum replied.
Brandeis scowled harder, and if I hadn’t known better I would have been afraid he’d hit Mum. But why? What was she asking him to do that he disliked so badly?
“Fine,” Brandeis bit out. “I’ll send someone to fetch her. She can watch over the Princess until you return.”
