zoochosis
a shiver runs down my spine. my hackles raise. my body bracing for a threat that is not there.
danger lingers in even the places that are supposed to be "home".
my ears stay alert. my fur bristling with anxiety. my tail firmly tucked between my legs.
my enclosure feels so small. eyes all over me. nowhere to hide.
a shiver runs down my spine. my paws ache from pacing back and forth. my body aches from how tight my muscles have been held. my heart still hammers from adrenaline.
the scene hasn't changed. there is no danger. but the walls are closing in. my claws leave long marks across the concrete. there are countless streaks.
how long have I been doing this?
the taste of iron is strong in my mouth. I hadn't even noticed I had been knawing on my forearms. I barely registered the pain.
I only rest when my legs no longer can carry me. the hours I had been pacing my enclosure burned a hole into me. my paw pads raw from the endless walking on hard floors.
my mind is no more at peace than when I started. the routine of my pacing and knawing and spinning and rocking and knawing and pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing and pacing...it gave no relief.
it was all an illusion of control. I may have walked miles, but I was still in an enclosure. in captivity. with nowhere else to go. I was in the same spot I was when I started.
