#carathenecromancer

[katastrophyvt]

Friends, I am NOT OK.

So, my necromancer is romancing Astarion. Alright. I had the friendship version of the Act 2 scene with Gale. Afterwards, he wants to talk and says, "Hey, thanks. I needed you to talk me out of the kys situation."

me the whole time:

My Galemancer heart is not OK. I am not fine.

So, after this heartbreak, I'm like, "FINE. I'll go kiss the vampire... maybe that will make me feel better?" It did not.

ASTARION PLEASE! I'm sobbing over the wizard, and you're giving me attitude. I'll remind you that this is our height situation:

This will never not be funny to me. I'm always thinking in the back of my mind, "I could yeet this bastard to Baldur's Gate easy..."

[katastrophyvt]

Team Dino Time is ready for action. I realized that Karlach would also love it so she's coming too.

Astarion is coming against his will, but he secretly kinda likes it because Cara and Karlach are fun (together and separately. We have the goblin energy he enjoys), and the wizard isn't the worst.

[katastrophyvt]

I'm enjoying not romancing Gale for his run because I'm about to go mess with the djinn, and I just want to run back to camp and be like, "Yo. We're gonna fuck with a dude and see dinosaurs. You in?" And he'd completely and totally be in. This man summoned a kitten because he wasn't allowed a cat. You think he wouldn't be down to see some sweet dinosaurs? Just Cara and Gale, geeking out in Chult.

We'd be at the epilogue party and just turn to each other and say, "Remember when we saw dinosaurs? Worth." He's an actual god, and we're just still completely stoked over the dinosaurs thing.

Astarion the entire time:

[katastrophyvt]

A TALE OF SORROW IN THREE ACTS

Act 1 Act 2

Act 3:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S JUST ME?! ARE YOU KIDDING??

AND you can't resurrect the dinosaurs. You just made me "trust me bro" Gale and Karlach, Larian!

[katastrophyvt]

A Classique:

Up there with "200 years of pure shit" and "no no no!" as true Astarion classics.

I'm also in a GC on Discord for my Helldiver friends, and we're trying to convince the last two it's time to play BG3. Well, play it seriously. They both own it and have started it but other games took over. I'm trying to share that it might be worth it just for Raphael without telling them anything about Raphael. I told them, "There are two mfers with theme songs and I'm in the room with both of them right now". *

It looks like he's about to call him Maidenless.

Also, LOL. Accidental clown face:

* Astarion's isn't a theme song per se, but it's a version with special lyrics.

[katastrophyvt]

So, I'm going through my screenshots folder, friends. When I tell you I lost my mind...

I want to ask what possessed me to make this odd glasses, nipples, AND headband look for him, but who knows...

This look is wild. "Armor" which is absolutely not going to protect him in a fight and might actually be more of an incumbrance, the Absolute-themed tiara, the glasses, the cyberpunk bow, and just the bit of nip above the fold. It gives the "graphic design is my passion" meme but for modding...

I just showed it to Buck, and his response was, "It's serving hot grandpa wants to free the nips" and I definitely see it.

Fun fact: I started downloading mods for BG3 because on a drunk Helldivers evening, I got obsessed with Astarion needing cunty glasses. He *had* to have them. I blame Gary Oldman:

[katastrophyvt]

Astarion to Cara:

Cara now:

Cara lacked the wisdom to hit that DC 21, so she's putting extra necro in the necromancy now.

[katastrophyvt]

Meet Cara, the next personal playthrough I'm trying to finish.

She got stuck where a lot of my current playthroughs have gotten stuck, the Gauntlet of Shar. I hate you most, Gauntlet of Shar... I really wish there were a little "hey! Auto-complete the trials!" button if you'd played through them once.

But, we killed Yurgir so we got to talk to Count Extra:

Pretty and bloody Astarion, and yes, this is the same Astarion I was cussing out a couple of days ago.

Just two hot elves doing hot elf shit.

I saw this and said, "Aww... grumpy baby!" out loud. My super scary vampire boyfriend and I call him grumpy baby. Yeah, I fear my brain has given him Little Guy status.

Went through the whole Nightsong. Got some lucky initiative rolls and just wailed on Balthazar. After that, it was just a messy clean-up.

Shadowheart made the right choice, and then it was on to Moonrise. I had to go back for a long rest; as is tradition, you must kiss the partner. I got this random screen cap and thought, "wait, do you actually like me, Astarion??"

After this, I got the "I do rather like that," which is such a sweet line. I also forgot that I was surprised when I got my first kiss from the menu. Why is he talking before and after? I'm used to Gale "I yap non-stop, but not around kissing. That is sacred!" Dekarios, so Astarion commenting on it shocked me the first time.

Had to rerun the Z'relle fight because SOMEONE got killed because she ran in, JAHEIRA!! Once I had control of her, it was pretty easy, and we dinged level 7! And in doing so, realized that Shadowheart's still in Trickery domain. Dammit!

I like Ketheric, but I think that's just because it's chill JK Simmons. Also, next up is Gortash who I just call Malfoy all the time.

Hey Karlach, are you OK with carrying the stuffed bear head for the rest of the walk? It's adorable.