Soooooo today is my birthday and I’ve decided to post a little gift for you guys for being so wonderful and so kind.
This blog is coming on its year anniversary faster than I thought it would and I just wanted to say how ridiculously grateful I am for the endless love and support you all have offered me. My heart is so full today and your kind hearts clearly know no bounds as you continue to show me more love than I could ever deserve.
Yay I love getting tagged by you @carpetheday
(also: 1. *hand-sanitizer-buddies-high five* 2. I’d love to see your sketches :) would you be willing to share some?)
5 things you’ll find in my bag:
Okay, lets see. oh yeah definitely a hand-sanitizer (with trains and busses being my main way of transportation and me finding their toilets so unbelievably gross) / my keys (obviously) / an orange/some kind of fruit (for sweet tooth emergencies) / my bike lights and if I’m lucky a hair tie
5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:
not much I guess. uhhm all my clothes / a stack of books I’ve being meaning
to read for quite some time now / my age-old, un-destroyable IKEA alarm clock / my favorite framed pieces of art and the practically antique, big ass TV I found in my parents basement when I moved out
5 things I’ve always wanted to do:
travel to and work (as a yoga teacher or/and on an organic farm) in Bali for a couple of months / get old and still be the child I’m now / perform at a chill open-mic event with my ukulele or smth / write a children’s book about stuff I’m really passionate about (like gender or nature) / join a freakin impro theater group already (smth I’ve been meaning to do for ages now. why does this take me so long?!)
5 things I’m currently into:
musing about the concept of gender and writing down all my revelations into
my diary / listening to songs that remind me of the marauders and consequently consenting to getting my heart broken / being really grateful about the people I have in my life / kale (for breakfast in a smoothie (bowl), in soups/on pizza for dinner oh and I just had the brilliant idea to try fermenting it ^^ I’m serious you guys, I’m that kind of person) / and tumblr I guess
5 things on my to-do list:
ok here we go: getting my next 3 piercings / sewing *ahem* the christmas pillow cases I originally planned to have done last december / getting my wisdom teeth pulled out *shudder* / baking a kick-ass cake next week (preferably in the middle of the night and eating it all in one go (only
half-joking here)) / visiting the 3 kids I babysat for 4 years (my baaabbyyyys I miss them)
5 things people may not know about me:
I’m constantly trying to hide being an introvert by acting like an extrovert / I would reeeally like to work at LUSH someday xD / when I was twenty-one I wanted a baby and now I’m almost indifferent about when I will get to be a parent / I still check under my bed before I go to sleep (admit it guys you do too! right?! right?!) / I suck at driving a car (because I don’t have/need one which means I pretty much un-learned it and now I’m kind of terrified)
I’m going to tag
@elvenprincechronicles @chasingcady @ask-reggie-black @thatweirdwolfchild @space-marauder
A lil headcannon about Lily becoming an animagus for Remus too because their friendship is my absolute favourite.
Part one here.
Warning: violence
Enjoy.
She caught the eye of the buck as she did so
Evading Remus’ lunges without effort
Just as she had practiced all those nights beneath a starry sky
She circled around him
Her hooves dancing along the forest floor as she led him towards the trees
He was running after her with more speed than she expected
But Lily knew if she gave the boys long enough to turn back, fix themselves up and come after them than everything would be okay
She kept him looping around the forest; she bounced off trees and slipped through fallen logs
He was gaining on her but not enough to be life-threatening
Not yet anyway.
That was until the noise of his claws hitting the forest floor fell silent and she spun around
Ears perked and eyes wide.
Where had he gone?
The thought barely let her mind when he dropped in front of her and swung.
The nails of his claws were long, sharpened from years of transformations, and painful in her flesh
He ripped across her shoulder, the four lines spouting blood as she pounced backwards.
The blood was dripping, the cuts stinging from the cold autumn air, but she couldn’t stop now.
She lunged backwards, the sound of him tailing her loud and clearer than ever now.
She was fearful; she didn’t want to have to hurt Remus, not even in this state when he wasn’t himself.
However, that didn’t stop James and Sirius.
They lunged at him before she even knew they were there and when she turned back Remus was unconscious.
He was curled in a ball on the forest floor, the pine needles below them a make shift bed and his stomach rising slowly signaling he wasn’t dead
They must do this all the time
She could see the faint bruising and cuts on his head, a deep gash where a hoof brought him down.
She could see the Shrieking Shack from their position but was brought back to the animals around her when a small rat squirted before her and began its transformation.
They all did.
She was nervous to transform, what if Remus awoke before they had time, he would never forgive himself if he hurt them
But she trusted them.
They had done this more times than she ever had or probably ever would
When was standing before them in her now tattered Hogwarts uniform she winced and clutched at her collarbone.
She felt her fingers become sticky with blood that was still dripping down her skin.
The pain was tolerable but her adrenaline was coming down and with each moment the throbbing got worse.
She had heard werewolf injuries were much different, not healed by simple first aid magic
They needed the tending of a professional healer.
Great, she thought, how do I explain this to Madame Pomfrey?
“Are you insane Evans?” she could hear Black’s voice but she couldn’t focus on it.
“How the fuck did you find us?”
It was Peter now, concern oozing from his lips.
“You could have gotten yourself killed! Why the hell are you out here?”
There was James, at last.
He was rushing towards her the words coming out of his mouth a million miles a second and she felt dizzy trying to focus on him.
He clutched her arms as she spoke and she felt her eyelids getting heavy, “James I-”
The world went dark.
The last sound ringing in her ears as she slipped from conscious, “Lily!”
The angry whispers that surrounded her brought her back to consciousness.
“She’s a bloody animagi!”
“How did she find us?”
“When the hell did she hold that stupid mandrake leaf in her mouth?”
“How did we not notice!”
“How long do you think she’s known?”
And then the soft weakened voice that met her ears
“If she doesn’t wake up-”
“Remus don’t. Of course she’ll wake!”
“It’s Evans, she’s going to need to yell at James about this.”
She smirked
“You lot talk too much.”
Her eyes fluttered open to see three stunned faces and gaping mouths.
All but Remus, his eyes completely averted and his hands clutched in his lap
His knuckles whiter than she’d ever seen
She smiled gently and turned to him
“Rem”
She could see the tears falling from his eyes, his hands tighter
So she sat up, her brow furrowing at the pain shooting up her shoulder.
James hands were on her back, helping her adjust so that she could grab Remus’ hand.
He slipped in behind her to keep her up; her skin tingled at the touch
She bit her lip and focused on Remus
“Stop being such a prat and look at me.”
He lifted his head steadily, his eyes glazed, a large bandage fashioned down the side of his face.
She could see that saddened look in his eye, the dark circles and newly placed markings decorating his skin.
She raised her finger to swipe the tear drops from his cheek that Sirius had yet to blot away
She could see him opening his mouth, she could see an apology forming on his lips but she silenced him.
“I wanted this. That’s why I followed you, I wanted to help you. I refuse to sit in the hospital wing at your bedside once a month when I can be out there making sure you tossers keep it together.”
The tears kept falling from Remus’ eyes but he kept his gaze steadily focused on her as she spoke
His hands losing their grip on one another as Sirius’ hand circled his back
She felt James tense up against her before
She turned to look over her shoulder at the hardened expression on his face
“Not happening.”
She nudged back into him and squeezed Remus’ hand
“If you think you can make me stay behind Potter you have another thing coming. I’ll leave that to Remus, if you want me there, and it doesn’t have to be all the time, you just say so.”
Sirius had his arm clutched to Remus shoulder as Remus spoke
“I would have killed you if she wasn’t there James. Both of you.”
His voice shook but it was stern and strong as he wrapped his fingers around Lily’s hand.
“Thank you for stopping me”
“That wasn’t you Remus, you didn’t hurt us.”
Remus raised his eyes
“Of course I did, look at your shoulder, those marks will never leave your-”
“Stop it. You didn’t hurt me, you would never hurt me.”
Sirius rubbed his palm into Remus’ back
“One, she’s right Moons, you didn’t hurt us at all. And two, she’s fast Prongs, faster than both of us.”
James was still tense against her as she leaned into him
“I don’t care. I’m not- I can’t- It’s just-”
His voice was raspy; the air in his throat seemed to hitch
He rested his forehead against her head shoulder as she spoke
“Now you know how I feel”
His eyes fluttered open and he leaned to look at her face over her shoulder
“What?”
Lily released a soft sigh and then laughed
“You really are daft Potter.”
She moved her eyes to Remus, a soft smile etched on her lips
“I’m coming next month, every month, whenever you need me. I’ll always be there for you Remus”
She could feel Remus’ grip tightening on her hand
“And just like you said to me all those months ago when I lost my parents, I’m your family now. I promise.”
I always had this interesting headcannon about Lily becoming an animagus for Remus too because their friendship is my absolute favourite.
Part two here.
Warning: violence
Enjoy.
The first few months they would show up with scratches there and stitches here
The stories were long and the boy’s mouths moved far too quickly for anyone to actually understand the details
But she did
She realized eventually what was happening in spite of her initial protests against her own assumptions
Those idiots had managed to turn themselves into Animagi
The question was why
At first anyways
That was until Remus landed himself in the hospital wing for several days longer than ever before
The chocolate at the end of his bed, the scars that slashed his skin, the deep heart-wrenchingly sad look in his eyes
That was all it took for Lily to scour the library, book after old dusty book
And after her conversations with Remus, ones where she cried ardently and he, in his mangled state, tried to comfort her, tried to tell her she need not worry
She decided
It was long, arduous and took up all her spare time in her fifth year but by the summer before sixth she had managed it.
The night it had happened was insufferably warm
The humidity causing her hair to cling to her neck and shoulders and the sweat to drip down her nose.
She had been almost at the point of giving up, her body was tired and mind exasperated
But then she looked up at the sky
She was met with the sight of the most beautiful full moon against an almost completely blackened sky.
The stars were a marvel twinkling down at her as though welcoming her to a completely different world.
That’s when Remus came to her mind
A reminder that when he saw this his body would jerk and jolt and throw him into a fit
The muscles and bones breaking and cracking and transforming
His mind gone in a furry of lost humanity and terrifying bloodlust
The thought of the bandages wrapping his skin and the look of shame in his eyes must have done it because suddenly she was transforming
Her bones adjusting, her eyesight sharpening, her muscles stretching
She was unsteady on her new legs
They looked taut and thick in the reflection of her bedroom window
But they felt strong underneath her
Her coat was a shiny, a tan shade with a dark brown strip running from between her eyes to the tip of her tail.
Her tail, she grimaced at the accomplishment
She laughed at the fact that she had become a doe
An identical twin with her patronus of course
A creature that Professor McGonagall had told her meant vigilance, intuition, gentleness.
She spent the final month of her summer holidays transforming
She would slip through her window at half past midnight when her parents had long fallen asleep and creep into the forest behind her home.
She would transform quickly, practice moving out of both forms and coming to understand the way her new body worked
It took her no time at all to realize how much she loved the running, gallivanting through the trees and jumping to new heights was exhilarating.
She knew that in Remus’ condition it was probably important that she be fast
She did plan on being of some use to him after all
She couldn’t see his sullen face in the hospital wing one more time
Couldn’t say one more awkwardly worded speech and do nothing more
This was her only option
The first few weeks of September felt like they were flying to everyone but Lily
Her nerves were on edge as the days rolled closer and closer to the first full moon of the month
She didn’t know how she was going to go about this but after watching the Marauders closely last year she knew she’d have to find a way to meet them
They always seemed to be near the Whomping Willow, a view she had clearly from her dorm window.
So that’s where she would be
She was sitting on the couch the night before, Remus at her side, their transfiguration essays in their laps.
He was looking paler than usual, a side effect she assumed of turning
Or of his nerves for turning.
She tried to keep the conversation light, make him laugh
But his eyes kept darting to the window as if he was afraid he would turn right there before her
She lightly brushed her arm against his, “You look flushed Remus, thinking about Black again are you?”
She winked as his gaze quickly turned to her, obviously brought out of his thoughts by the comment
“I could ask you the same thing about Potter.”
“What about Potter?”
Both of their eyes jolted up to the portrait hole to see the two very topics of their conversation.
Lily could see Remus blush as he looked back to his essay so she smirked
“How he’s a right git for not being here earlier to help us with this paper.”
James eyes lit up at her, his smile growing wide
“Did Evans just ask for my help?”
Black rounded the corner and plopped himself between the two of them
“I thought Evans hated that tosser,” he winked at her as he continued, “rightly so.”
James made a loud sigh and dropped himself in front of the fire.
Lily could feel the blush creep up her cheeks as she rolled her eyes at the lot of them.
The next day Lily felt herself constantly checking the time, her knees were incessantly bobbing up and down and her fingernails always between her teeth.
Her nerves were getting the better of her
It didn’t seem to matter thought
All that she kept telling herself was that she couldn’t wait to show Remus that it wasn’t only the Marauders that cared, that she did too.
He had a family here bigger than he knew
When night rolled around and the soft sound of snores from her roommates met her ears she jumped from her bunk.
She made her way through the common room and the tower easy enough.
A few silencing charms here
A few promises to some paintings
And to a hellish Peeves but she made it.
She could see the four of them out of the corner of her eye, Remus hunched over and his arms wrapped around two of the boys.
She watched them as them performed a ritual they had obviously completed more times than she had thought
Touch the knot on the tree and slip down a passage beneath an array of roots.
Easy enough, she smirked.
Once they had gone she revealed herself from behind the stone wall and approached the willow
It was harder to touch the knot than anticipated but she was sliding down the passage way effortlessly.
As she came to a stairwell she hesitantly continued walking and heard a few doors slam, a few yelps and then instantaneous howling
It was deep, dark and somehow still sounded sad.
Her heart felt like it was in her throat as she found her way to the door, once she propped it open she saw the four animal forms before her.
But something seemed to be wrong.
Remus was withering on the ground
But he wasn’t Remus anymore
His eyes had rolled back, his hands had become claws, his body contorted and extended into a form she’d only seen in books
He seemed to be in a fit as he howled and scratched and clutched at himself.
That was until his once warm eyes were brought into complete darkness.
He jumped upward and swung at the dog that had been standing over him.
She watched as the animagi hit the tree behind them and slumped into a ball clearly unconscious
A buck in his own animagi form seemed frantic
This wasn’t normal she thought
They seem too anxious
Too concerned
She was brought out of her curiosity and fear by the werewolf’s next swipe
She couldn’t stop herself as his name left her lips and then Remus’ eyes were on her.
She ignored the glances and focused on the bloodied buck and the widening of his warm brown eyes
She turned to Remus to see that he barred his teeth
A malicious very un-Remus like grin on the creature’s face.
She bounded down the steps
Her mind focused on her friends, on Remus, on the regret he would feel in anything went wrong
And suddenly she transforming mid-air and racing towards them
2/2 Until there was a knock at the door & there was Draco, with his shoulders covered in snow & a present wrapped in his shaking fingers. 'Thought you'd like company.' And suddenly Harry realized just how much he needed to not be alone. And when he tried to speak & nothing came out Draco just took him in his arms. It wouldn’t fix the ache but that day was the first day he had felt a little lighter. And he had Draco to thank.
1/2 The first Christmas after the war Harry had decided he needed to be alone. It would have been much too hard seeing the Weasley’s sitting around a table without Fred, to hear everyone say how much Teddy had Dora's hair & Remus' smile. So he spent it at home, his home, trying to remedy the hollowness he felt in the pit of his stomach. Trying to find a way to feel like Christmas wasn’t just another day that reminded him of how much he hadn’t been able to do, of who he hadn’t saved.
