#cartman x reader

[robin374]

Excuses they have to see you/talk to you

Characters: Kenny, Kyle, Eric, Stan Notes: Hello South Park fandom. (Aged up characters)Not prooread.

Kenny: His poor ass can't afford spotify premium

We all know that this man is poor asf, c'mon. He couldn't afford any app that had anything to pay, I mean, his phone was really old and it was a miracle that it even turned on. As Cartman put it, "he had a potato phone."

He had admitted to himself not so long ago that he really really liked you. He didn't like you in a way that he wanted to have sex with you and just that. He wanted to hug you, kiss you, touch you, see you smile... So, he always looked for any excuse to see you or to talk to you. In class, he sat near you so he could hear your conversations with your friends. He really wanted to be with you.

That's when he overhead your friends talking about how you managed to hack a paying app and got it for free. (It was just an apk but they were still impressed). An idea clicked on his mind and he decided that in the next class he would ask you to hack that app.

The moment the bell rang he ignored his friends and made a beeline to you. You were packing up your things to go home and do your homework, but the blonde guy stopped you. "Hey..." He sounded kind of nervous, you raised an eyebrow confused. "I heard that you hack apps. "He smirked trying to hide how nervous he was feeling. You looked at your friends who were waiting for you, they shrugged they surely didn't tell anyone right? "I mean, yeah, but I can't do it to anyone, they can take down all of the hacked accounts." His smirk dropped so fast, he was about to drop down to his knees and start pleading you to hack that app (absolutely not because he wanted to spend more time with you) Until you agreed to do it. You told to him to meet up at your house so you could do it through your computer and the pass the archives to his phone. That day, he went back home skiping and smiling like he heard the best news of his life. His friend group looked at his so confused, why was he acting as if he was in a disney movie?

Stan: He reminds you of a wet dog, somehow.

He was doing his homework while listening to music, however he started to get bored. Why was homework obligatory anyways? He decided to go out for a walk, he put his headphones on and went out his house.

He felt the cold air hit his face, it was somewhat comforting. He made his way to Stark's Pond, away from his house. As he approached the lake he saw a very familiar figure crouching. He squinted his eyes and he realized it was you. Oh no... He started feeling sick, not in a bad way, of course. He tried to calm himself down, he didn't want to puke in front of you; that would make him look like a total loser! But he also didn't want lose this opportunity to be with you, and alone. As he approached you his eyes turned to the small creature that was between your hands. A small puppy whined between your soft hands as you pet it. Oh how he wanted to switch places with the small canine.

Nowadays, he has that day marked in the calendar beucase he had managed to talk to you and have a whole conversation without puking! Kyle overheard you telling your friends how people shouldn't abandon their pets in the middle of the road. He told that to Stan and both of them started a whole ass FBI research about animal shelters near South Park so Stan could talk to you about it.

After finding the perfect one, he sat next to you at lunch and told you about it. You looked really exicted to go there and he subtly suggested you to go with him. The moment you accepted he excused himself and ran as fast as he could to the nearest bathroom.

Kyle: He relies on you when Cartman starts an absurd debate.

Another day another stupid debate at class. Cartman was now saying how the people of the united states have been living in their lands since the beginning of times. And as always he didn't know what he was talking about. Kyle tried to confront him saying how he was making everything up, but he gave up as soon as he got insulted.

You were getting really, really annoyed. It was always the same thing in history class. The teacher would say what you all were going to learn that day, Cartman talked out loud and started a debate. Most of the time it would be about how the Jewish manipulated everyone into thinking that they were the victims. Anyways, this time was really stupid, and you decided to step in. "Cartman, in which state are we?" You asked out loud, everyone looked at you as if you asked the dumbest question ever, this was part of your plan though. "Colorado, duh." He said with a confident tone. "Okay, the name is in spanish, why? Because the spanish were here before you, and in the east side; the British. Oh, and before that, the native americans were here." You explained calmly, you wouldn't let him get to your nerves. "Oh yeah? And how you explain that I'm speaking english right now?" He fired back with a nervous and angry tone. Before you could speak, Kyle talked. "That doesn't matter, fatass! Just admit that you're wrong, I wanna go home." He said. "Shut up you fucking manipulative Jew!" You sighed and rolled your eyes, "he's so fucking retarded." You said and Kyle, who was near you, agreed.

After class, Kyle approached you, he put his hand on your shoulder and smiled to you. "Thank you for helping me in history class." He was red in the face, for him, you were like a greed god/goddes, you were smart, pretty, calm... He admired you so much, but he knew he wouldn't stand a chance with you. Anyways, you smiled to him and told him that it was nothing. "I just read books, not like Cartman." You said and he laughed.

From that day, he started offering you to go to the library together and suggested to study together. He liked to be with you and talk to you, he felt like he could be himself and express his concers and have deep talks with you. Every night he dreamed about holding you in his arms to sleep. AHEM, he started to talk to you more and prayed to every singled existing god to make you notice him in the same way he noticed you.

Cartman: Your grandma is cupid now.

You always had a bunch of candy inside you backpack. Why? You didn't even know, honestly. Every time you visited your grandma's house she always gave one candy, 'in case you were hungry at some point and you couldn't eat properly.' She always was worried that you had eaten properly, because, in her opinion, you were too skinny. You weren't. It was just her grandma-vision that saw everyone too skinny. You ate properly every day and ate healthy, you weren't too fat nor too skinny. Just how a human body would look.

However, one time, you stomach growled more than usual. You took out one of your grandma's candy secretly so the teacher wouldn't see you eating in class. Unfortunately, a bored fatass- oops sorry, I mean Cartman. He was looking around maybe wondering who his next victim was going to be or thinking about how to exterminate jews without his mother trying to stop him for the 100th time. From the corner of his eye he saw you taking out a small candy from your backpack. He smirked, should he blackmail you? Or trick you into something that benefitted him the most? It was you we are talking about here. In his words, he somewhat tolerated you, but everyone knew that he liked you. He was very obvious with it, to be honest. Like always picking on you or mentioning you into every single conversation or speech.

Now, after class, he approached with that shit eating grin of his and poked you shoulder to get your attention. "What do you want?" You said suspiciously, you knew that Cartman always found his way for everything. "Do you have candy to spare?" Of course he saw you and of course he would ask you to have some. You told him that you didn't have more, which was an answer he didn't like. He walked away annoyed, he really wanted that candy. Or did he just wanted an excuse to talk to you? ... Both, probably both, but the candy had more priority.

So, he started sitting next to you in class, hoping you would give him some. You refused to let him win what he wanted, but after some weeks of him talking your ear off about how he wanted to get elected class delegate or how he wanted to ruin Kyle's day, you gave up. "Okay, if I give you the damn candy will you shut the fuck up?" You whispered annoyed, your eyes darted to the teacher who was boredly explaining some equations, you wanted to punch that smirk of his. He had won the battle. He tried to ignore that tingly feeling he sensed when your hand brushed his as you gave him the candy.

From then on, he sat next to you in every class, not only because you gave him candy to shut up, but also because he got the chance to talk to you and nobody (except the teacher) interrumpted you two.

[local-new-kid-super]

Raccoon and Friends x New-Kid!Reader

Headcanons for a hero reader who dips from the franchise.

Synopsis: Being the new kid, you get plenty of flack from all sides. Shitty parents, and you're beginning to realize, even shittier friends. Fed up, you announce your departure from the franchise, to mixed reactions from New kid's many admirers.

A/N: Sorry I've been gone so long, I was in a bit of a south park dry spell without new episodes and a new game that kinda sucked. But I'm back and with a request from Anon, the freedom Pals version of this will be released soon.

The Raccoon (Eric Cartman)

☆ He's pissed. I mean, no suprise, he's always pissed, but he's especially pissed that you think you can leave. He'll never admit it to your face, but you're kinda carrying the franchise right now. You're his heavy hitter, and you actually stand up pretty well against 'Myst-queer-ion', as he so aptly calls him.

☆ He may or may not have had some plans in the works to get you forced into some sort of power couple with him, further tying you into the franchise. You leaving is only going to make it more difficult to asserts his power over you. That's what this is, a power play, and definetly not because he's actually in love with you and doesn't want to admit he's crushing on a guy. Even if you are a female!New Kid, it's still very confusing. Like Prince.

☆ He's already giving you quite a lot of new benefits. Want your own little space in the Raccoon cave? Great, he'll move the dog crate acting as a holding cell for professor chaos. Want another movie deal in the franchise? You got it, fuck Kyle. Who wants a human kite movie anyways?

"What. The. Fuck?" The sound of scratching on glass, like a stray in the night, makes you look at your window. Your curious and concerned face only falls further at the sight of a familiar 'big-boned' brunette sitting on your windowsill. "New kid, you little traitor bitch. You're trying to leave? Still?" He tries to casually slide into the room, only to fall; scattering some of your decor. "The fuck? Clear this out next time I visit." He demands, before putting his hands behind his back and pacing. "I'll remind you, you signed a legally binding contract to remain with the franchise when you joined. You're locked in, and frankly, I'm offended you're trying to weasel your way out." When you ask to see the contract, he produces a piece of paper, crumpled and clearly written on the back of a Casa Bonita delivery menu. In bright letters, it reads 'Raccoon and Friends Exclusivity contract, duration: 4 ever. I own you.' At the bottom, the name written is simply 'New Kid', and obviously not your hand writing. You raise a brow, only making him sputter and shove it back in his pocket. "Right, well, now you know. Keep it in line, and I expect to see you back at the cave tomorrow." He snaps. He hops onto the windowsill, before immediately falling out. "Fuck, Clyde- shit! Why'd you move the ladder?"

Human Kite (Kyle Broflovski):

☆ He gets it, he totally gets why you would want to leave Cartmans shitty franchise, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you wouldn't go. He's gotten pretty close to you, and you're one of the more reasonable members of the team. He really wants you to balance out meetings. He's already lost Stan to the freedom Pals, and even though you aren't leaving for them, it still hurts.

☆ He'll try to keep you away from the Raccoon for a bit, maybe pair up with you on missions more. He wants to do some goods deeds with you, remind you why you became heroes in the first place, you know?

☆ He enjoys the quality time you get to spend together when on patrol, and he's so busy with school during the day. If you leave, he's worried you'll grow apart, again, a concern that lingers from Stan's departure. His crush on you doesn't help, half of the patrols you go on he considers dates, so if you leave he'll have to man up and actually ask you out.

"Yeah, just, uh, don't run into the street anymore, yeah?" Human Kite chides, as the kindergartner he swooped in to save moments ago from the middle of the road runs off. "We really need to get a fence put around the children's park. Maybe we could fundraise or something. The city council is shitty enough, but public safety is something they don't even pay attention to!" He exclaims, holding his hands up. "I mean, really, New Kid. That's the point of being a hero, making a difference. Least it is for you and me, it's about money and movie deals with fatass." Puasing for a moment, he scuffs his shoe against a pebble. "You know, you don't have to go. Cartman sucks, and we might bot have the funding the Freedom Pals have, but we do good stuff! And, and this city could really use it." He glances at you, looking like he may want to say more. "Just think about it, man." Please do, he really needs you to balance out the rest of the Raccoon and friends.

Captain Diabetes (Scott Malkinson):

☆ Please, you can't do this to him. You are one of the few people in the group who are kind to him. You can't just abandon him! He'll do ANYTHING!

☆ He caves, reaching whipping boy status immediately. Anything you want, he'll get it. Snacks, stuff for weapons, loose change. Its yours!

☆ He's one tough cookie (no diabetes joke intended), so he essentially becomes a human shield for you. I mean, Clyde is always crying about getting his ass kicked, maybe that's why you're leaving. Scott can take a beating, so its no problem for him to sacrifice himself if it means you'll stay.

☆ "Ach, no problem, New kid." Scott grunts out, sitting up a bit. The pair of you had gone to handle a situation with some meth dealers back behind the City Wok. One almost got the jump on you, but Scott jumped in to take the hit. "It's- it's what teammates do. I-" He wobbles, gripping his side a bit. "It's probably gonna take a bit to heal though, even with my diabetes strength. Maybe you should stick around a few more weeks, just to make sure I heal. F-for the good of the city." He coughs.

Mosquito (Clyde Donovan):

☆ Guilt trip. He's probably the only one who'll pull that card, but if he really thinks you're being serious about leaving, he'll cry. Usually, no one cares about his cries, whether he's suffering from a raisins girl 'break up' or he's skinned his knee during battle. But you? You've always been sweet to him. You patch him up, you take him seriously. What's he gonna do if you're gone?!

☆ He's going to throw a pity party before he forms any real strategy. Probably go to raisins and blow his entire months allowance on Zingy Tingy Wingys and compliments from the girls. Soon, he decides that maybe the only way to get you to stay is keep you busy. Slamming down his lemonade and once again fleeing from Raisins (with some hesitation), he sets out to find some criminals.

☆ He modifies Scott's plan of protecting you at risk of hurting himself by cutting out the 'saving' part. He's self-aware, he knows that you can handle yourself, and any aid he provides you would probably just result in him getting in the way. So, he finds some low level thugs, and wins, but ensures he gets his ass absolutely kicked in the process. Decimated, little horn nose crumpled and wings torn.

"Jesus christ, mosquito, did you get hit by a bus?" The Raccoon calls from his spot at the computer, less worried about his friend and more about how this is gonna make the team look. "Could you get beat down less publicly? You're gonna make us look like pussies."

"Ah, they were tough, b-but no match for the MOSQUITO! Bzz-bzz." Clyde walks with a slight hobble, all the way to your right hand spot at the long fold out table initiated with a C and F. "I got pretty messed up, New kid." He admits, leaning against the table with exaggerated yet not feigned pain. "Bzz-bzz-buf it always make me feel better knowing I've got a great team to come back to. Especially a pal like you. Can you patch me up?" He asks, looking about as pathetic as a bug themed boy can be. You sigh, but agree with the usual smile. As you hand him a 'blood box' that's suspiciously apple flavored, and wrap a bandage around his leg, his spirits improve immediately. "I don't know what I'd do without you, New kid. Probably get like- stabbed or murdered or something."

"Probably worse." Raccoon calls.

He's quick to nod, giving you big, sad eyes. Just stay, please? He's playing it up; but he really can't hold his own.

Fast Pass (Jimmy Valmer):

☆ Jimmy is a casual guy. He doesn't want you to leave, but its not the end of the world for him. Between the two of you, he doesn't actually do that much fighting, and what he does do gets handled quickly.

☆ Even with running the Fast Pass checkpoints system, he's got a lot of free time. He's more than happy to swing by your place, maybe 'run' (get it?) Some new comedy material by you.

☆Mostly, I think he'd miss running on missions with you. It's always a fun time, and you usually grab a meal afterwards. Even if you arent fighting crime, he's sure to keep the tradition of the post-fight meal up.

"H-h-hey, new kid. Delivery!" You can hear a voice from just outside your window, and smile as you poke your head out. "Someone order e-e-extra speedy service-ce? I handled some robbers d-down by the old S-sodasopa, and one of em' had a coupon for Mr. Freemans tacos. Dinner o-on me?" He asks. You're trying to avoid most franchise members right now, but you just can't say no to Jimmy. "You're gonna have to c-come down here though. I-I have super speed, but uh- stairs are still kind of kryptonite."

Super Craig (Craig Tucker) (Platonic):

☆ He so doesn't care, man. He's like Jimmy, he doesn't actually do much fighting, or work, and he takes very little enjoyment in actually fighting most criminals. He handles minor things Raccoon assigns him, and even at those, he's not exerting much effort. Just loosely punching a tree to shake a cat out of it.

☆ Honestly, he thinks its for the best. He's not willing to admit it, but he's still pretty fucked up over Tweek leaving for Freedom Pals. He'd much rather you butt out of this whole franchise war now before things get tense or you leave on bad terms.

"Yeah, this place fucking sucks." That's his only real response when he gets the news. "Wanna play Guitar Hero?"

[quietcrybaby]

Hiiii could you maybe write headcanons of the main 4 + Butters if they found out their partner(reader) is autistic/neurodivergent??

So sorry for the longest wait known to human kind, and thank you so much for your patience! Hopefully this is kinda what you were hoping for!

Quick Disclaimer:

Though I do have AuDHD, my experience with it won't represent everyone who's neurodivergent, as it's a spectrum. For anyone who isn't familiar with neurodivergencies, please do your own research with reputable sources. This is simply a post with headcanons, not a peer-reviewed paper, so please don't use it to self diagnose. That being said, I hope you enjoy reading!

Neurodivergent

Main Four & Butters x Neurodivergent Reader

Content: headcanons, aged-up, fluff

Warnings: none

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Stan

ADHD:

• when he found out, he shrugged it off

• to him, you are you, and that's all that matters

• he'll try his best to support you through whatever difficulties may arise

• stan's probably not the best at helping you stay focused, but he tries

• finds it cute when you talk about your current hyperfixation

• let you copy off his homework back in highschool, which may or may not have helped

• if you're on medication, depending on the living situation, he'll have a special spot for it so you remember and to hide it from his dad

• found out caffeine can help and won't stop buying you energy drinks

• always quick to defend you if people don't understand your struggles

Autism:

• stan was very accepting when he found out

• though he might not know alot about it, he tries his absolute best to properly support you

• having trouble talking? he's there to do it for you

• he's more than happy to leave an event early if you get overstimulated

• he's willing to just lay on top of you if you need the extra weight... he may fall asleep though

• isn't always the best with big emotions, but will listen when you need to talk through something

• tries his best to avoid his dad when the two of you are together as Randy is... alot

• same with cartman, he doesn't want him to harass you

• perfectly happy to stay in for a date

• not the best when it comes to meltdowns but is able to help with burnout

• always always always apologizes if he isn't clear with when he's being sarcastic, though it may take a while for him to understand why he upset you

• loves you no matter what and makes sure you know it

Kyle

ADHD:

• struggling to keep things tidy? he'll be there with cleaning supplies in less than five minutes

• kyle is the best of the group when it comes to keeping you on track

• when he found out, he did a bunch of research so he can properly support you

• he's the most clinical when it comes to support, which may or may not piss you off from time to time (there's no cutting corners when it comes to kyle)

• he'll apologize if he gets under your skin too much though

Autism:

• when he found out, you bet your ass he did a ton of research on it and how to best support you

• eventually decided it was best to ask you directly, so expect to talk through boundaries and needs quite a bit

• that being said, he means well, and will not only hear you but will listen

• makes sure you aren't put in a situation that may overstimulate you, but will put all his energy into comforting you if it does happen

• learns how to identify your signs of a meltdown/burnout very quickly, and does his absolute best to help you through it or avoid them all together

• loves how deeply you feel emotions (through the good and bad) and admires your empathy

• cherishes every moment you spend together but understands when you need space

• doesn't let cartman anywhere near you if he can help it

• happily explains any social queues you may miss

• tells his mom to make one of your comfort foods anytime the two of you visit

Cartman

ADHD:

• laughed in your face at first

• cuz it's Cartman what'd you expect?

• if you're on meds, he asks if you see tiny pink christina aguilera monsters

• quite literally won't shut up about the monsters if you're taking ritalin

• might steal some from time to time though

• if i'm being so fr, he's gonna be so mean about it at first

• zoned out? he's taking that to his advantage

• if he notices you're spacing out, he'll say some heinous shit and ask if you agree

• be prepared to get teased 24/7

• after a while (and a lengthy conversation with him about it), he'll calm down a bit

• still teases you though

Autism:

• there's two ways this will go...

• if someone else told him about it, he'd shrug it off and say he knew that already

• if he finds out himself, well... cartman will be cartman, he's probably going to rip on you like crazy

• either way, it'll take him time to even accept the new information he learned about you

• after a while, he'll use it as an excuse to leave any situation he doesn't like

• "screw you guys, we're going home" and if anyone argues/questions it, he's blaming your autism

• sorry cartman lovers (if there's any lol), he's just such an ass about it, especially around his friends

• he acts completely different when the two of you are alone

• having a date night at home? you bet your ass he's got ALL of your comfort foods

• speaking of, his pantry is full of it

• if you get overstimulated, he'll bring you home, make sure all the bright lights are off, and let you rest in his bed

Kenny

You can't tell me this man is neurotypical.

ADHD:

• kenny most definitely brings up the time his entire class was put on ritalin when he finds out, he can't help it

• despite that, he's VERY understanding

• having trouble focusing? he'll guide you through what you need to do as best he can

• finds it really attractive when you yap uncontrollably to him about your current hyperfixation

• if you're on meds, he's got an alarm set on his phone, even if you don't live together (he'll text/call you)

• having trouble remembering an important task? he's already written it down on his hand and set a reminder on his phone

• if you zone out, he's super patient with you

• need some extra stimulation? he's got you covered, whether that's through 'innocent' ways or not is up to you

• if too many tasks have been put off and you're feeling overwhelmed, he's more than happy to help you

Autism:

• kenny is the most understanding of the bunch

• having his own neurodivergency, though most likely undiagnosed, he knows firsthand tough things can get sometimes

• when he finds out, whether through you or someone else, he'll give a soft smile and a thumbs up, not treating you any differently

• if you go mute, he's there to help no matter what

• he's grateful to know someone else who may not talk as often (it feels amazing to be understood and seen)

• if he knows what your special interest is, he will be all over it with you

• expect many hand-made gifts that relate to it

• loves hearing you talk about your interests, and finds your passion towards it so so so attractive

• he's always so patient with you and your needs, and will help you no matter what

• insecure about stimming? he'll constantly reassure you

• he will ALWAYS respect boundaries you set, no matter what

• he'll help and comfort you through any burnout or meltdowns that may occur, making sure to give you space when needed

• constantly reassures you that you are loved no matter what

• if you misread a social queue, he will vouch for you and explain what happened if needed... though he doesn't always know himself

• never hold back emotions with him, he absolutely adores you and how intensely you can feel things

• you can never be too clingy with kenny

Butters

ADHD:

• if you take meds, he was probably told by his parents through a misunderstanding

• his parents probably saw you taking your meds one morning while visiting and... "YOU'RE GROUNDED MISTER!"

• Butters asks you why you are, in his parents' words, a "pill popping slut", and hands you the bottle

• after a lengthy explanation of what the meds are for, he is fully supportive of you and apologizes for his parents reaction

• after the misunderstanding is cleared with his parents, Butters is grounded again lol

• if he found out some other way, it takes him a while to understand, but boy oh boy is he supportive of you

• not only will he keep you on track, but he will praise you like no other when the task you'd been struggling with is done

• he's like your personal cheerleader

• fully willing to help you clean and stay on task while doing so

Autism:

• unless someone tells him directly, he's going to be oblivious to it

• and unless you tell him, he'll probably find out through one of cartman's many insults

• regardless, he'll be there for you no matter what

• though he may not be great at helping you with social queues, he's more than willing to help with everything else

• overstimulated? he's got sound-blocking headphones and some comfy clothes in his bag

• if you're feeling burntout, he will make it his mission to help you recover

• despite growing up how he did, butters is the kindest, most empathetic person you know, and will never invalidate you for who you are

• he's always prepared when it comes to your needs, even if that means carrying an extra bag with him when the two of you go out

• no matter what, he will make sure to remind you just how much he loves you

[n0vawrit3s]

Plzzz first kiss with southpark main 4?🫣

Okay!

a/n: this was really rushed and i apologize! it might be occ, but this has been in my inbox for a while... im kind of burying myself in doing things to keep my mind off my cat :(

𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛!!

✫★𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡★☆:

• he'd probably be a little surprised at first, but melt into the kiss after a second

• id think that you'd make the move like he's playing his guitar, you both sitting in his room, on his bed.

• he'd be unsure for a minute, but eventually place his hands on your face or hips.

• he'd blush as soon as you pull away, laughing a little

lil' drabble (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎):

you were sitting on your boyfriend's bed, watching him play his guitar. he was very focused, but still glanced at you to see if you enjoyed the music.

You thought about your relationships with Stan, it's been a few months since you started dating, and you still haven't kissed! he was just probably nervous, and wasn't sure what the right moment was, right?

maybe you should make the move? it might take the nervousness away! you took at small, quiet breath, hyping yourself up. when Stan focuses on his guitar again, you moved. you leaned closer to him, he looked up, fingers stumbling on the strings of his guitar. his words stuttering out, "um... b-babe? wha- what are you doing?" you'd didn't answer, you kissed him, slow, careful, a bit hesitantly.

it took him a minute, but you felt his hands reach up and land on your cheeks, thumbs rubbing your cheeks slowly. when you pulled away, he was blushing. "that... that was... nice." he said, laughing a little.

☆★𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐈★✩:

• PLEASE don't let your first kiss be in public 🙏

• he will MOVE away and look at YOU like YOU'RE insane, especially if the guys are around

• i think he's make the first move, mostly because you wouldn't know what time would be the best

• your first kiss would probably be during a study date or cooking date, a intimate, private moment

lil' drabble(⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎):

you were sitting on your boyfriend's bed, surrounded by notes and homework, a typical study date for you two.

You swear, all this paper work was so tiring! You let yourself fall back onto the bed, landing with a soft 'oof'. You groaned, "Kyleee..." You dragged out his name, earning a hum and a raised eyebrow from the redhead. You huffed, "can't we take a break? It's been a few hours now! It's been so loooonngg!"

Kyle rolled his eyes. it hasn't even been that long, he knew it. You were just... dramatic. he put his work aside and sighed. he moved so he was hovering over you. you blinked, "wha-" he leaned down before you finished, catching your lips in a soft kiss. you realize it was your first kiss, and he held the kiss for a few seconds before pulling away, with a small, smug smirk, "C'mon, babe... It hasn't been that long, you're just dramatic, and lazy. You can handle a little longer studying, okay?" you didn't put up much fight after that.

☆★𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊★☆:

• he'd definitely make the first move, absolutely

• your first kiss would be when he's walking you home, at your doorstep, a goodnight kiss

• he'd been waiting for the right moment, and the idea of a kiss after a date was amazing

• yes, he would absolutely walk you home, no doubt about it, don't even THINK about going alone >:(

lil' drabble(⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎):

you and Kenny were walking to your house after a very nice date he had planned. you both talked on the way, about school, the date and the next ones, or whatever else you could think of.

you both reached your doorstep and you sighed, walking up to the door. before you opened the door, Kenny had walked behind you and grabbed your hand. He turned you to face you and leaned in, kissing you. Your eyes widened before fluttering close.

Kenny waited for a while, letting the kiss last a while. but, he eventually pulled away, a lazy smile on his face. "goodnight, doll!" He walked away after, waving to you until you went inside. he now had a small grin on his face the entire time he walked home.

✩★𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐀N★✩:

• it'd be a little hard to get a decent reaction to a kiss with Cartman...

• you'd make the first move, and be prepared to get brushed off, even if he's happy inside

• i think he'd enjoy movie dates mostly! it gives him a reason to be close with you!

• Cartman doesn't really know how to express his love, so he usually results to jokes and jabs at you.

lil' drabble(⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎):

you were sitting in your boyfriend living room, eating snacks and watching a movie. This was a normal date for you.

you've been glancing at Cartman occasionally, thinking about your relationship. you haven't kissed yet! Cartman has never really tried anything, so you haven't either. he'd probably just make a shitty joke anyway.

you sighed to yourself. something must change! you turned to him, "Cartman?" He looked over at you. you leaned in and kissed him, quickly. he... didn't make a joke? he instead blushed and started grumbling to himself. you smiled to yourself, returning to the movie.

Thank you for waiting and requesting this!

[ktsanlol]

🎉🎁🌟Happy birthday, Eric!💖🌹💞🎉

Eric X you

[nwjn-z]

𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐏*𝐫𝐧 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬

warning(s): nsfw, swearing, straight up p*rn

author’s note: i was going through my bookmarks and thought of this, they are aged up to be in their 20s don’t be weird

⭑ kyle broflovski

is such a love maker but can also be so rough. absolutely loves using your clothes as leverage to fuck you. has ripped multiple skirts, panties, and dresses before bc he doesn’t realise his own strength when he is pulling on them bc he gets so lost in how good your pussy feels. he’s addicted. (it’s okay bc he bought you new ones to say sorry)

⭑ stan marsh

love love loves lazy but still rough sex. he loves laying back and watching you bounce yourself on his dick while pulling your hair and slapping your ass. music in the back is a must when yall are fucking. loves praising you.

⭑ kenny mccormick

loves hitting it from the back. he’s a certified freak but sometimes he likes to really enjoy simple sex yk? but what he loves most is when you rock yourself back on him and use his cock to get yourself off. he thinks it’s the hottest shit ever seeing you eagerly fuck your self with his dick.

⭑ eric cartman

rough. hard. and fast. would best describe sex with eric. one thing him and kyle have in common is being the roughest guys in bed. he literally fucks you into the mattress. loves pushing down on your waist and drilling himself in you.

[oldwritingm]

congrats on 400 & i'm so happy to be here!!!

for the event, if you still write for south park, could i get headcanons of maybe the main 4 + butters receiving genuine, heartfelt compliment and love from their partner? male or gn if that's okay/needed!!!

i've been craving soft comfort qwq

- 🍡

Here you are love!

South Park - Main Four (+ Butters) Reacting to Genuine Affection

Kyle

Okay, so you guys definitely have quite a bit of banter in your relationship

So at first it takes him a minute to figure out when you're actually being serious

"Kyle, you're so pretty."

He'll just blink at you for a second

When you don't give him a teasing smirk or burst out laughing, that's when he knows you're being real

And then his cheeks turn a few shades darker, and he looks away bashfully

He'll mutter something semi-coherently, not looking at you at all while he says it:

"Yeah, well... you're prettier..."

It's not that he doesn't believe what you say, or that he's embarrassed, he's just taken off guard

He actually really loves when you surprise him like that

He will be thinking about it for the next week at least

He'll totally zone out, too—just replaying that moment over and over in his mind

A little smile comes to his lips involuntarily, and he might even start blushing a little

He's just got to be careful not to do it around the guys... he'd never hear the end of it

Stan

He's convinced you're being fake or joking at first

Especially if it just comes out of the blue

"I love you, Stan."

He'll just blink, waiting for the "just kidding" or the punchline

When it doesn't come his face scrunches up a little

"You're... being serious?"

He's not trying to sound rude, he's just having a hard time believing you

He struggles with insecurity :(

No matter how long you've been together, he still doesn't know why someone like you would ever love him

But when you just smile sincerely and tell him that yes, you are being serious, his heart flutters

He definitely gets that huge lovesick grin of his (you know the one)

And he'll look at you with the purest loving gaze

Be prepared for a bear hug :D

And maybe some happy tears on your shoulder

Butters

It doesn't even occur to him that you might be joking

He believes everything you say, unless it's ultra-obvious you're joking

And even then he's more inclined to take whatever you're saying/doing as genuine, if only for his own delusional enjoyment

So, even if it comes out of nowhere, Butters accepts your affection

"You're the best thing in my life, Butters."

He'll put on a huge grin, taking your hand and squeezing it excitedly

"You're my favorite ever, Y/n!"

Cue the tooth-rotting fluff

This is how you two often fall into bouts of sickeningly sweet affection; cuddling, hand holding, "no-I-love-you-more" competitions...

It is very cheesy

But Butters LIVES for it

He loves it when you can both be all genuine like that; it increases his own confidence, plus it gives him a chance to show his unending love for you :)

Kenny

I feel like Kenny's really good about reading your emotions

And matching them as soon as he's aware

So even if you're in the middle of the goofiest goof session, he'll flip the switch just as quick as you

He'll know you're being genuine right away, and wastes no time being dumbfounded or anything

"I'm so in love with you."

You can see his cheeks going a little pink, but he smiles the brightest smile and hugs you tight

Then he returns the affection in full; both physically and verbally

It doesn't matter if you were being verbal or physical with your affection, he'll give you both in return

"I'm in love with you, too."

Depending on if you're in a silly affectionate or serious affectionate mood (again, he'll know), you may or may not end up in a hybrid cuddle-tickle fight

Otherwise you'll settle down somewhere and just bask in each other's arms

Maybe playing with each other's hair, mumbling sweet nothings, listening to heartbeats and breathing

Cartman

He is NOT going to take you seriously (or at least that's how it'll seem)

Even when he realizes that you are, indeed, being serious, he's going to make fun of you

"I love you more than you even know."

He tries to play off the way his cheeks turn pink and the way his heart flutters

He'll look away, waving his hand dismissively at you

"Pff, whatever. You're so cheesy, Y/n."

In reality, he's internalizing what you said and it's getting him higher than the moon

And he can't help just hugging you, at the very least

Or pretending to suplex you as an excuse to get you laying on top of him with his arms around your waist

Then he'll start to think about what you said more, and after a while he'll mutter, almost inaudibly:

"I love you more, stupid."

He'll never admit that he said it (activate gaslighting mode), but he secretly hopes that you really did hear it, and that you believe he said it (despite what he'll try to make you believe)

Because he meant it, and he wants you to know that he feels the same about you :)

Thanks for this request! And thank you so much for reading, take care doves <33

(divider by saradika)

[sp-by-april]

dad Cartman hcs?

[South Park HC Master List] [April March's Master Lists]

💔 Cartman sees fatherhood as a platform. His kid is a sidekick, a pawn, a mirror, and his legacy. From the moment they're born, he acts like their life is his reboot.

💔 He teaches his kids how to manipulate. You want something? Cry. You want to leave? Guilt trip someone. You want attention? Fake a limp. But the second they pull it on him, he considers it a betrayal.

💔 He's the dad who puts tracking software on every device and brags about it. His kid(s) have zero privacy, and every time they try to lock him out of something, he breaks in and claims it's for their own good.

💔 He shows up to parent-teacher conferences in theatrical mode. He's a nightmare. The PTA hates him.

💔 He does love his kid. Intensely... But he shows it in weird ways, like buying them five of the same toy so "other kids don’t win,"

💔 Cartman is that parent who has beef with toddlers. If his kid doesn't win a party game, he calls it rigged.

💔 There are rare moments where Cartman actually tries. It's awkward and clumsy as fuck, but it's sincere...

💔 He asks if they're okay but interrupts the answer.

💔 He tries to give advice but it's all toxic, and he usually brings the conversation back around to himself.

💔 He hugs them too tight and then immediately accuses them of "being weird" when they hug back.

💔 Therapy is inevitable, but they love him anyway, because even when he's insufferable, (which is always, he's Cartman!) he's still the one who shows up. Loud. Uninvited. Unhinged. But he's present.