#cartoon sonnets

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “Pinky and the Brain”

Pinky and Brain are a curious pair

Who in the lab of Acme make their home.

While one possesses wit beyond compare,

The other’s mind is more given to roam.

Their ev’ry eve has been carefully planned

Just as it has been planned each prior eve.

For ere the dawning sun breaks o’er the land,

Conquest over the globe they shall achieve!

This nightly practice, odd as it may seem,

Is by one simple notion justified:

How else but by erecting his regime

Can a lowly lab mouse reclaim his pride?

Truly, these two prove what the poets say:

The best-laid plans of mice oft go astray.

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “I’m the Bad Guy” (Wander Over Yonder)

Dominator: Do not call me thy maiden in the tower

Or else the paramour that stole thy heart.

Try to court me and I shall make thee cower

For I have come to tear thy world apart!

Thou’rt no stranger to evil; this I know

For all thou’ve fought serve me on bended knee.

The genocide of globes leaves me aglow—

My heart holds not one shred of decency.

Amongst these charréd wastelands I’m content

And so I leave destruction in my wake.

Thy pity and thy kindness I resent—

What I do is business for business’ sake!

Mark my words, knaves, for I shall make thee fall—

I’m the villain of this tale, after all.

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “When We Didn’t Get Along” (Phineas and Ferb)

Perry: Each unjust machination planned by thee

Would bring me gaiety to thwart and halt.

I came to love our animosity—

Yea, I became reliant, to a fault.

Our fights became a lovers’ ballroom dance;

Thy traps gave me the courage to press on.

But when thou face someone else’s advance,

I realize that those cherished times are gone.

But Doctor, shouldst thou look within thy soul,

‘Tis certainty, with no room for debate,

In thy life only I can play the role

Of ever-present object of thy hate!

Cast aside, I will myself to be strong

And yearn for when we did not get along.

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “I’m Just Your Problem” (Adventure Time)

Marceline: Forgive me; to thy virtue I’m not loyal

Although I concede that thy flaws are few.

Pray, wouldst thou have me treat thee like a royal

The same way all thy mindless subjects do?

Yea, sugar surpasses me in sweetness—

I’d not possessed enough to be thy friend.

Thus thou take flight from me with such fleetness—

My being must disrupt thee to no end!

I must be less than human in thy eyes.

I know not how our friendship was unbuilt.

‘Tis thou, not I, who must apologize;

Wherefore, then, am I the one plagued by guilt?

One day our devotion we might restore,

But ‘til then, I’m just thy problem, no more.

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “Queen of Mars” (Phineas and Ferb)

Candace: An eve ago I was a lonely maid

In dire need of some companionship.

But, feeling by all my cousins betrayed,

I chose to take an interstellar trip.

Here and now, I am an idol among

These strangers, beneath my crown’s golden gleam.

And though I speak not in their native tongue

I know they hold me in highest esteem.

For now I am the Queen, whereas before

I was a simple girl, shy and reserved.

I had to pass through a trans-spatial door

To gain the things I knew that I deserved!

O friends, thou canst find me beyond the stars:

Hail the undisputed Queen of Mars!

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: "I.M.P. Jingle" (Helluva Boss)

When wicked shades condemn thy wicked deeds

And it afflicts thy soul so fervently,

We hellish few can attend to thy needs

And do so with finesse and urgency.

With merely one petard or tainted cup

We do the deed and leave nary a trail.

Our successes forever raise us up

For 'tis from the world beyond that we hail.

Be it boys or girls, gentlemen or ladies,

We'll end their life and leave thee with the blade.

So, shouldst thou need a rebuke straight from Hades,

Call I-M-P and see thy foes unmade!

No longer shall the living roam at large

Call I-M-P! Children die free of charge!

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “Cold” (RWBY)

I never dared dream anything too great

Thinking wishes were just for babes and fools.

But that changed in a flash upon the date

Thou came to me and rewrote all the rules.

Thou saw a world benevolent and new

And I helped thee to make that world our own.

But Fate, it seems, spurned thy rose-tinted view–

It took thee and left me here all alone.

Now there’s a chill all through this stagnant air

As if thou walk beside me even still.

I know thou must be watching from somewhere;

For thee, I swear thy dreams I shall fulfill!

“Move forward,” thou wouldst say if thou were here,

And I try, though ‘tis cold without thee near.

For Monty.

[angelofanimation]

Cartoon Sonnets: “Tiny Rick/Let Me Out” (Rick and Morty)

Tiny Rick: I plead and beseech, beckon and implore,

Yet still the multitudes ignore the truth:

Behind the lyricist they all adore

Lurks an elder with mere facade of youth.

Lend me thy ears, friends, not thy slackened jaw;

If thou canst hear my words, come to my aid!

With each moment thou merely watch in awe,

Further off this mortal coil I’ll have strayed.

This is no song, no dance, no turn of phrase;

‘Tis literal, the plea that I express.

Whilst thou art show’ring me with endless praise,

Within a glassy jail I’m in distress!

As Tiny Rick weaves his charming mirage,

Rick Sanchez wastes away in the garage.