#casappreciationweek

[tiffanybluesclues]

Remember how waaaay back on the week of July 6-12 it was Cas Appreciation Week and I posted once for day 5 but completely neglected the rest of the week? I feel like two months later is the perfect time to appreciate Cas again, so this week I’ll be putting up those formerly-incomplete appreciation posts. Welcome to the start of Cas Appreciation Week: Two Months Late Edition.

[magnificat-cas]

Castle of Glass

In which Castiel makes a very important decision in those final moments at the bottom of the river.

July 12 | Cas Appreciation Week | Song or Quote | Castle of Glass by: Linkin Park

AO3

Take me down to the river bend / Take me down to the fighting end / Wash the poison from off my skin / Show me how to be whole again.

The leviathans burned Castiel’s grace. As he tried to fight back against their hold on his vessel, they reared their ugly heads and snapped. Claws and teeth laced with black poison attacked Castiel back into submission. Their poison set on making his grace as black as his wings, which were long ago tainted by hell’s fires. Veins of black stretched like gnarled fingers across his grace, burning as they went.

Castiel was desperately trying to stop the poison from spreading. In his efforts, he barely felt the cold river water lapping at his vessel’s ankles.

Fly me up on a silver wing / Past the black where the sirens sing / Warm me up in a nova's glow / And drop me down to the dream below.

The poison was drowning Castiel from his inside out. His wings were becoming bogged down with the deadly liquid, turning them darker than they already were. In a fleeting moment, Castiel wished he was as he used to be. His wings they way they used to be. Silver, glinting off the light of the galaxies as he watched over humanity. He’d be free of doubt. He’d believe that there was a plan yet again. He wouldn’t have sided with a demon. Promises holding something other than emptiness.

A deep shiver ran down Castiel’s spine as he now realized the freezing river’s waters were to his vessel’s waist. He tried to think of warmth. He thought of U Scorpii, the recurrent nova system in the Milky Way. This also happened to be Castiel’s favorite. He didn’t quite know why it was his favorite. Perhaps it was because it was located so close to the constellation Scorpius, or maybe there was no reason at all.

Castiel focused on the white dwarfs. Their crumbling, burning, warmth that would envelop him as he would watch their brilliant light expand before falling dark. He wondered if this was his nova. Was this the last thing he would do before falling dark, before he was dropped into the dream where angels went? Castiel squeezed his eyes shut as he realized he wasn’t worthy of such an afterlife with his brothers and sisters.

‘Cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass / Hardly anything there for you to see / For you to see

Castiel felt himself being pulled apart. He knew he didn’t have much longer. His feathers were beginning to fall off. His grace was flickering, but in an instant, it was suddenly brighter. His vessel was completely emerged in the water. Castiel used the last of his strength to look up. Through the ripples of the water he could see Dean. His grace lurched and twisted within him. In that instant, Castiel knew he couldn’t just leave Dean. It was completely and utterly selfish, but Castiel couldn’t leave his charge. Dean was his reason. Somewhere down the line, he thought he’d forgotten that. Maybe a little piece of him could stay with Dean, though Castiel didn’t think he deserved to stay with him. He was nothing. He was broken down grace and molted feathers. A crack in the delicate world his father had created.

In one last valiant effort, Castiel pushed against the leviathans, realizing he had nothing to lose. He gained control of his vessel. It was barely operational, already degraded by the leviathans so much, but Castiel didn’t need his vessel for this. He needed his coat. Castiel fought against the waters and the leviathans as he shimmied out of it. Gripping the fabric one last time, Castiel willing gave up his grace. He agonizingly pulled the last pure bit out of his core and laced it along the fibers of the coat. Just as the oak tree was Anna’s, this coat would be Castiel’s place for his grace. He was fallen. He wasn’t anything but a blemish.

‘Cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass / Hardly anything else I need to be

He didn’t feel anything. He was floating. Something suddenly gripped him.

A voice unlike anything else filled his body. “Oh, you don’t understand. Do you realize what you have just done?” The voice wasn’t angry, but the words were instead laced with understanding.

He tried to respond, but found himself unable to. He couldn’t remember anything.

A rumbling that could be either laughter or thunder vibrated through him. “You stored that last bit of grace in your coat. It washed up and is in good hands. I’m afraid it isn’t enough to restore your memories, but it will get you on your feet once more. You shall call yourself...Emmanuel. Do not fear, child, your charge will find you soon enough.”

[magnificat-cas]

Jason Bourne Has Nothing On Angel Mojo

Emmanuel didn’t quite know who he was. He had faith, though, and part of him believed that on his jostled up path, all the pieces would in time fall together.

July 11 | Cas Appreciation Week | Favorite Variation | Emmanuel

AO3

Emmanuel didn’t quite know who he was. He had faith, though, and part of him believed that on his jostled up path, all the pieces would in time fall together.

There were lots of things Emmanuel didn’t understand, but if he had to pick the most confusing, it would be the feeling that he had a gaping hole in his chest. It was like he was missing a part of himself. He wasn’t, in fact, missing any part of himself. He had two arms, two legs, all his fingers, and all his toes.

He had a lovely person who cared for him. He had a place to call home. He had a talent that helped people. He couldn’t quite think of what he could possibly be missing.

Emmanuel spent all his time and put all his effort into sewing this hole closed. Some days, he’d think he had won, that the seam was going to hold, but then nightfall came. Any stitches made were viciously ripped apart by the waves of emotions that engulfed and suffocated Emmanuel.

So, every night like clockwork, he’d get up out of bed and make a cup of tea. He’d then go sit out on the porch in hopes of clearing his head. Most nights, he sat in silence. His only company the sound of crickets and the longing he feels in his chest, weighing him down like an anchor. Some nights, though, a voice rang in his head.

Emmanuel knew he was probably going crazy. It wasn’t normal to hear voices in your head that weren’t your own. The voice pulled at the hole, fraying the edges of it so it grew in size. Emmanuel didn’t understand. How could a voice hold so much power?

“You’re not dead,” the voice whispered.

Emmanuel pressed a hand to his heart. A steady rhythm could be felt against his palm. He didn’t think he was dead.

“Why did you do that you stupid son of a bitch?”

His brow furrowed. What had he done? Emmanuel could only assume that it was something that had happened before he lost his memory, that part was obvious. He wondered if it had something to do with the river. It probably wasn’t smart to jump into that river. It did cost him his memory after all.

“...I kept your coat for you. For when you come home.”

His eyes dropped to his sleeves. His arms were already clad in a coat, though suddenly he felt very cold. It was as if the fabric he already wore wasn’t enough. He then looked behind him at the house. Was this not his home? A sadness unlike any other washed over him then. The sadness that comes with realization. This wasn’t home. He couldn’t remember home. Where was it? What was it?

Emmanuel knew he couldn’t go to Daphne with these thoughts. It would be highly disrespectful when all she had been was kind to him. He couldn’t be so selfish and practically tell her she wasn’t enough. So, Emmanuel sat on the porch, listening to the voice and longing to be with whomever it belonged to.

This pattern continues until Emmanuel comes to his house one afternoon. A man with a face unlike he has ever seen rolls down the steps of the porch. Emmanuel applaudes himself for not freaking out. He instead internally shutters before looking up at the man who had placed him there.

It’s a meeting of blue and green and the world seems to click into place. Emmanuel once again finds himself suffocating in emotion, but it’s not waves of harsh water. It’s instead a warmth that seems to emit from his very core. The warmth quickly travels throughout him, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. That’s not the only thing left in its wake. For after the warmth subsides some, the hole is filled. Not a visible stitch is left behind to be ripped open when the sun finally sets.

Then again, Emmanuel wouldn’t be Emmanuel when the sun set. He’d be Castiel, and he’d be home. Though in this case, home wasn’t exactly a destination.

[fallenandinlovewithhumanity]

Cas Appreciation Week

Day 7: Song/Quote- Holy Ground by Taylor Swift

(A/N: this is sadder than I intended and the song’s a lot happier.)

[novemberthee5th]

Cas Appreciation Week: Day Seven → Song or Quote ↳    “Even when muddy your wings sparkle bright wonders that heal broken worlds.” (x)

[ontheavalanche]

I'm out of town rn so (blasphemously) the rest of my Cas Appreciation Week posts are gonna have to be posted after the week is already over ✿(╥﹏╥)✿

[littlehobbit13]

Cas Appreciation Week | 7/12 - Song or Quote

“Stand in the Rain” - Superchicks

Because certainly Cas has had his share of trials to pull himself through.

[elvesofnoldor]

Cas appreciation week

Day seven | quote or song: Blackbird by Beatles