I Can't Protect You Anymore
Fallen!Cas angst for cassbuttandsasstiel
Dean had been very concerned about how Cas would adjust to his life as a human. Ever since they had reunited, he found himself monitoring the fallen angel's every move. To his delight, Cas seemed to be enjoying his time in the bunker.
Frequently, he liked to watch Dean cook, peering over his shoulder and carefully focusing on the way he sliced, diced, minced, and mixed. He also spent his time watching Sam research, sitting across the table and asking little questions here and there about how he knew where to look for the proper information. All in all, he seemed content and much more relaxed.
That is until the day Dean was severely injured during a hunt.
Everything had been going smoothly, the three hunters (Cas liked to think of himself as an honorary hunter now) had easily invaded the vampire nest they had been monitoring for the past couple days.
"Now, remember to be quiet, Cas. We don’t want them to-"
Suddenly, Dean was flying through the air, sailing backwards and smashing into the wall behind him. He sank to the floor, his vision becoming blurry and his head spinning as he fell.
"Dean!" a voice yelled, full of pain and fear. Sounds like Cas, Dean thought with a weak chuckle, his ability to think clearly quickly slipping away. He struggled to keep his eyes open, the vague image of Castiel violently stabbing his attacker in the chest swimming before his eyes before everything went black.
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Dean felt like he had been hit by a train. He had the worst headache, worse than any hangover headache he had ever experienced, and his body felt as if it were falling apart. What the hell happned to me? he wondered groggily. Without warning, he was assaulted by a flood of images. He saw he, Sam, and Cas entering the vampire nest; Sam remarking that it seemed too easy; Cas being too loud; the face of a very pissed vampire- oh shit.
If the pain and the realization that he had been stupid enough to get injured wasn’t bad enough, the sound of heartbreaking sobs was the icing on the fucking cake. Someone was crying and- Dean noted- holding him while they sobbed. A set of arms were wrapped tightly around his waist, pulling him against their chest and carding shaking fingers through his hair.
Slowly, he began to open his eyes, silently thanking the low lighting of the room he was in. His room. As his surroundings came into focus, though, he felt his heart shatter. Cas.
The fallen angel’s eyes were clenched shut, teardrops caught in his eyelashes. His lips were parted and his body shook with the force of his whimpering mewls of sorrow. He looked positively ruined.
"Cas," Dean managed to whisper, the name coming out more slurred than he had hoped. Castiel’s eyes flew open, his piercing blue gaze peering down at him as if his awakening was the most incredible event in human history.
"Dean," Cas sighed, pulling his fingers out of Dean’s hair, “you don’t know how happy I am to hear your voice again."
Dean smiled, ignoring the small tingle of pleasure he felt at Castiel’s admission. He had more important things to worry about right now.
Cas’s relieved face suddenly crumpled. His eyes were filled with so much anguish and raw emotion that Dean was sure he was going to vomit.
"Dean," he whimpered, his hands reaching out to desperately grasp his shoulders, "it was awful. You were just laying there, and I ran over to heal you. I pressed my fingers to your forehead a-and nothing happened. I was so confused at first but-"
Now his body really began to tremble, tears racing down his face and dripping onto Dean's clothes. Okay, he definitely was going to spew chunks here in a couple seconds.
"I couldn't heal you, Dean," he cried, "I forgot that I wasn't an angel anymore a-and I can't protect you now. D-Dean I can't-"
"Stop," Dean interrupted softly, reaching a shaky hand up to Cas's chest. He clutched at the lapels of his trench coat, having just enough strength to pull the fallen angel a little closer. "Stop."
Instead of replying, Cas lifted Dean and wrapped him more securely in his arms. He rested his head on the hunter's shoulder, nuzzling his face against his neck and breathing out a long, shaky sigh.
"I'm so sorry, Dean," Cas whispered, clutching at the hunter as if he were the only thing keeping him from drifting away.
"You have nothing to be sorry about," Dean replied gently, closing his eyes and inhaling the comforting smell of his room and the familiar scent of Cas's trench coat.
He would help Cas adjust to his life as a human if it was the last thing he did.