hey so i have a stupid funny prompt that popped into my head, could you write sanvers watching taxi brooklyn together, cue alex not seeing the uncanny resemblance between her and cat, maggie continually telling her, and maggie criticizing everyone lol
Here you go! It’s also posted on AO3 if anyone would prefer to read there (or if other folks have watched Taxi Brooklyn and want to commiserate there in the comments). Fair warning for spoilers for the show and pure crack ahead.
It had all started with Maggie coming home from work excitedly declaring that she had found a new show for them to watch. “Babe! I found your TV twin!” she had insisted, holding out her phone to a skeptical Alex, who had refused to admit any resemblance. “When you see her in action, you’ll see it,” Maggie maintained.
Which is how they found themselves curled up on their couch one rainy Saturday morning, intent on binging several episodes. During the first episode, Maggie insisted, time and again, that the resemblance was truly uncanny. Refusing to budge on her position, Alex shook her head. “Absolutely not! Look at how short her hair is!”
“Babe,” Maggie whined, “you’d look like her with short hair.”
“I don’t wear that much plaid.”
“But how great would it be if you did? Also, maybe you should give that open-flannel over sexy ribbed tank top thing a shot…just saying, it’d be hot.”
“It’s hot on her. On me…no, I’d look funny.”
“That’s so not true. Also, I’m totally shipping your character with the ME. I think they’d make an excellent couple.”
“You’ll ship any two pretty women who talk to each other,” Alex retorted, feeling more than a little proud of herself for having remembered the definition of shipping after learning all about fandom from Maggie. “Plus, she’s not my character!”
Maggie just sighed loudly and rolled her eyes; she’d get Alex to see it eventually. As she focused more on the plot, though, Maggie grew increasingly frustrated with their depictions of police work. “You can’t just commandeer a taxi!” Then, a few minutes later: “You don’t just go with your gut! God, Alex, your character is a terrible detective!”
“She’s not me!” Alex shot back.
By the time they got to the third episode and Annabella was introduced, Maggie cackled, “Oh my god! Cat even has her own Vicky Donahue!”
“What do you mean? They’re just friends, Maggie.”
“Yeah…just like you and I are gal pals that share a bed and casually fuck but just like BFFs do, right?”
“They’re talking about practicing kissing, for god’s sake!” Maggie yelled, nearly upending the popcorn in her excitement to make her point.
Alex paused, rewinding to hear that scene again. “No!” she countered. “They were practicing kissing the same neighbor boy! That’s totally different.”
“You know it’s just one stop short of turning to each other and cutting out the middle man. Literally.”
“Speaking from experience?” Alex asked, arching an eyebrow as she paused the show and turned to regard Maggie more closely.
“It’s a no…just, well, a nuanced no? There are a lot of straight girls in college who really want to know what it’s like to kiss a girl and all.”
“And you were only too happy to satisfy their curiosity?”
“I satisfied something.” Maggie preened as Alex scowled. “C’mon, you love me.”
“It’ll do. Now hit play! I need to find out what happens.”
By the sixth episode, both Maggie and Alex had grown quite vocal in their commentary. It helped that they had begun drinking after lunch—just beer, but enough to loosen their tongues.
“You can’t just take your friend to interview a serial killer! No captain would allow that!” Maggie yelled at the screen, tossing a handful of popcorn, even though she knew she’d be the one to vacuum it up later.
“It’s a show,” Alex whispered, pressing kisses to Maggie’s temple and stroking a hand through her hair.
And to her credit, Maggie did let that particular point go in favor of complaining as soon as she first suspected that the new serial killer might be a woman. “Statistically that is so unlikely. And are they really going to make the killer a queer woman? That’s so rude. I mean, yeah, I’d be in love with Cat too.” In response to Alex’s glare, she added, “Because she looks so much like you, duh. But we’re not all villains! When is television going to do right by us?”
“I thought the biggest problem was all of the shows that kill us off.” Alex tilted her head to the side, trying to remember the list of dead lesbian characters Maggie had once rattled off to her—Dana, Tara, Lexa, probably more names ending with ‘a’s too.
“Well, that’s its own separate issue. But also TV shows somehow think it’s gonna be a big plot twist to have some crazy jealous, possessive lesbian who goes crazy and murders her ex or some girl she’s in love with even though they’ve barely met or something. It’s rude. I hate it.”
“Do you hate it more than the bury your gays trope, though?”
Considering it for a moment, Maggie shook her head. “No. If they’d get a little more innovative with it, I wouldn’t mind the gay villains. Very campy. Lots of history there. But stop having us do the same damn thing over and over again. We literally fill the halls of English Departments and MFA programs and art schools! We’re more creative than they give us credit for,” she huffed.
Once Maggie was vindicated in her suspicions about the show, they took a break to get themselves another round of beers and make out for a while to “make up for the lack of overt queerness on the show,” Maggie had insisted, though as they let the seventh episode play, she went back to insisting that Cat was quite clearly a lesbian.
Alex laughed it off, until the show cut to a scene of Cat making out with Rhys and looking terribly uncomfortable as she pulled away, finding that she just couldn’t do it. “Well…that is a bit familiar,” she chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.
“Danvers, she is literally you – those are your mannerisms!”
Alex shook her head at Maggie and looked back at the screen just in time to see Cat transition seamlessly from aggressively making out with Rhys to pinning him on his stomach. “What the fuck?” Alex laughed.
“Oh my god…was she trying to peg him?” Maggie cackled. “If this isn’t proof that Cat is as gay as you are, I don’t know what is.”
“I think she was trying to arrest him?”
“That’s not fun. Unless it’s role play,” Maggie added with a wink.
“But they wouldn’t really imply that she was trying to, you know…would they?”
“It’s based on a French film,” Maggie shrugged. “Plus, I bet Gregg was into it.”
“True. But also you and your doppelganger are also both so gay.”
“We don’t look alike,” Alex huffed. “Seriously, she’s got more freckles than I do. And her hair is lighter. And shorter. Also, I feel like we’re built differently.”
“Freckles can be covered with makeup. Hair can be cut and dyed different colors. And as the person who is perhaps most intimately familiar with your body and your build, I’m telling you, you’re totally twins. Also, you act similarly.”
“You were just calling her a bad cop!”
“Okay, not like that. I mean, she’s not following procedures, but I’m talking about your temperaments. You’re both a little…angry?”
“You’re not helping your case.”
“I meant to say passionate!”
As the credits for the twelfth episode rolled, Alex clicked play to go on to the next episode, only to find that an entirely new show began. Grumbling, she clicked back to the main menu to get back to their show, only to find that episode 12 was apparently the last episode of the season. “Mags!” she yelled to Maggie, who had gotten up to find some dessert. There was nothing like staying on the couch all day to tire them out.
“What?” Maggie yelled back, making her way into the living room balancing a box of cookies and a carton of vegan ice cream.
“Where can we stream season two?”
“There isn’t a season two.”
“So you’re telling me that we’re never going to know what happens? Will Gregg get arrested? Will Cat get arrested? Is Leo’s roommate okay? Is his family okay? Is Cat’s mom alive? Was she on the boat? Is Annabella going to jail? Oh my god, there are so many fucking questions! Why would you let us watch a show that got cancelled?”
“You said you didn’t even like the show that much,” Maggie tried by way of a defense, though she had to admit, she’d expected a more satisfying ending too.
“Just because it’s not my favorite doesn’t mean I don’t want to know how it ends!”
Maggie’s face suddenly lit up and she nearly threw the desserts in her excitement as she began gesticulating wildly—one of the surest signs that she had crossed the line from tipsy to drunk. “Oh my gosh! Wait! You already look like Cat, then we can get J’onn to shapeshift into Leo and find people who look enough like the other characters—no! Wait! J’onn can play them all! Except Cat, because you already look like her. And we’ll create our own finale to answer all the questions!”
Alex burst out laughing only to find that Maggie had dropped off the desserts and already had a pen and notepad in hand. “Okay, first question,” Maggie began. “How long into this finale do we have to wait for you to come out?”