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I have to tell you guys this thing that happened

For Christmas my family and I went down to Albany to see all our relatives and Albany is famous for having beautiful beaches in pretty much every direction you look and also being very very cold and windy - the weather is usually raining

but this time round it was actually like the burning circles of hell

so we're at the beach with my aunty, uncle and cousins and there are crabs everywhere over near the rocks and they're pretty big so I was determined to catch one because I never have before

anyway, armed with an ice-cream bucket and a pair of reef sandals, I caught one and was so excited to show it to my family bUT GUESS WHAT

THEY HAD GONE FOR A WALK AND WERE AALLLLLL THE WAY DOWN THE OTHER END OF THE BEACH

BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP THE LITTLE GUY IN THERE FOR SO LONG BECAUSE HE'S A BLOODY CRAFTY LITTLE THING AND KEPT TRYING TO ESCAPE, POKING HIS CLAWS OUT FROM THE LITTLE CRACK A LEFT OPEN TO HELP HIM BREATH

so I just carefully jog down to my family which took I don't know, HALF AN HOUR

by now, I pretty much don't care if he escapes, as long as all my family gets to see this crab that I caught

so I catch up to them, chant "GUESS WHAT I CAUGHT", they gather around and I open the lid

mum jumps back because these flippin crabs are like BLACK and yellow and can easily be mistaken for really big spiders

and they're all like "Hey that's cool well done"

AND WHAT DOES THE CRAB DO AT THE OPPORTUNE MOMENT OF SEEING HIS CHANCE OF FREEDOM WHILE EVERYONE IS CLOSE BY AND WATCHING

THE BLOODY THING PUTS ONE CLAW OVER THE RIM OF THE BUCKET AND CATAPULTS ITSELF, OVER THE RIM

well you should have seen the chaos

I bet if you looked from far away, it would have looked like we all suddenly broke out iN FLASH DANCE

mum and my aunty are squealing and jumping up and down, the dog's yapping, trying to eat it, my cousins are squealing and darting away, I'm hobbling after the damn crab trying to catch it, so's my uncle and the flippin crab's like got his claws up like this

running around in circles and between everyone's feet looking like it's going "YOU COME NEAR ME IMMA PINCH YOU SO HARD YOU'LL FEEL IT FOR WEE- holy crap run run run run run thesepeopleareinsa- WHAT DID I SAY?!"

I finally caught it on my knees and then everything went quiet and everyone watched me as I stayed on my knees, head down, then fell to the ground crying

mum was suddenly upset because I was crying and asked why I was and I said between gasps "I CAN'T BREATH YOU ALL LOOKED SO RIDICULOUS"

That was the best day

Better yet I go back ALL the way to were I originally caught it but it was a bit hard to get back up the rocks with my hands full of ice-cream bucket and my sister was there sitting on the rocks but they're sharp and pointy so don't move too fast otherwise you'll cut and artery or something and she's got a can of coke in her hand and do not come between my sister and coke SHE WILL KILL

so I ask her to hold the bucket but the lid's not on right and I tell her that but she doesn't really care saying "Alright, whatever" and I'm "ALRIGHTY, this is going to end badly, but anyway"

so what happens the wind comes and blows the lid off the bucket and my sister, with this crab in her hand trying to jump out and escape and with her precious coke in the other starts screaming "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO"

now my sister is deathly afraid of spiders and she says that crabs look like the spiders of the sea so you can picture how terrified she was of this suddenly loose crab

luckily there was a little rock pool at our feet so I just grabbed the bucket, precariously positioned on one foot over pointy rocks as I was and dumped the stupid crab in there

he was happy and free and finally the ordeal was over the end

I hope you found that really funny because it took a while to type

#dancing #crabs #beach #family #catching things #coke

That's what 2 people said already. You guys sure think alike. Oh, by the way, thanks for catching me when I strangly fell from the sky.

It's what I do.

#SUPER POWER:#Catching things