It's about time I list my headcanons for Adar!🖤🐾🐈⬛🐝
These are my headcanons for Adar🌈🖤 I see him as a very versatile sort of character with the capacity for deep compassion and love if given the chance to heal. His healing journey will be rough and he'll need lots of care but when that is given he would protect you with his life.
Here are more of my thoughts about him and how I view him as a person attempting to get through life. I write Adar this way on my other blog @adarssuggestionbox 🌈🖤
Note: I think all headcanons have merit regardless of how absurd, because most come from our hearts or a place of our own needs.
My headcanons for Adar 🖤🐾🐈⬛🐝
Suffers from severe PTSD (Post Traumatic Sauron Disorder ❤️🩹)
He lives his life in a constant state of depression. Centuries of despair will do that to a person.
He is a sexual assault and general trauma survivor.
I canon him to have gone through what only can be described as torture.
His ex is Sauron
He has violent episodic panic attacks when he is triggered. This is expressed in a variety of ways including but not limited to: physical violence, crippling fear, heavy emotional outbursts, mental/physical shut down via dissociation paralysis.
If allowed to exist in a peaceful nonthreatening environment he will be constantly on edge questioning himself. He is no longer used to peace so he finds this unnerving and is extremely awkward when interacting with polite company.
He will also be prone to keeping his distance from others and is regarded as quiet to an uncomfortable degree. He is jumpy, and unable to relax as he waits for something unkind to happen in every encounter. Violence and aggression are what he expects. When these do not come to pass it throws him off and makes him suspicious.
After spending his life being forced into a state of silence, as it was safer to stay quiet, it is hard to get him to speak. But when he does it is always meaningful and laced with melancholy sweetness. His love interests are some of the few outside of his children who can manage to get him to use his voice.
When he is put into an environment that doesn't require him to be violent or aggressive he can be VERY soft. In fact, I would describe him as docile as a kitten but only if he feels safe with you. He will crave copious amounts of the gentlest attention he can get. Then he will return it back in equally sweet ways. He is a very thoughtful lover.
At his core he is a submissive. He craves incredibly soft love due to his excessive exposure to Sauron's abuse and cruelty. Because he essentially was tortured by the dark Lord he has internalized fear of expressing that side of himself in any setting. Dom's will have to work hard to expose that soft side.
Before he underwent the uruk transformation, Adar was an elf that was famous for his extraordinary bee keeping. He still has all of his bee keeping skills and the ability to get his bees to produce honey/other byproducts with near magical properties. People would travel far and wide for a taste of his honey in his previous life as an elf.
Adar is polyamorous, and when he was an elf I headcannon him to have been married to a skilled baker and gardener. Both men shared a business with their husband Adar. while Adar would work the bee fields collecting products and tending to them, his husbands tended the bakery where bread and honey were sold and a flower/herb shop on the other side of the bakery. His husband who gardened made sure that the bees had plenty of flowers to keep them happy.
Because of their jointed business they were wealthy.
Adar and his husbands always wanted children but never had the chance to adopt any. Just as they were gearing up to prepare their home for a baby or a couple of small children his home was attacked in the night as they slept. His husband's were slaughtered before his eyes. Then he was captured and taken away in chains to the nameless mountain for the transformation/experimentation.
He met Sauron at that same peak, several years after his transformation.
He eventually became an addition to Sauron's haram. Unspeakable things happened in those "entertainment" chambers. unfortunately Adar quickly became Sauron's favorite among his "toys". Though this had its advantages because he was able to do things others could not within reason. one such thing was learning sword arts.
Sauron from the start made adar believe that he loved him via manipulation, abusive behavior, and cruelty. This was a very stockholm syndrome situation. He had Adar convinced he wouldn't find anyone who would love him in his current state. He even granted Adar's dearest wish to have children to care for as a way to manipulate him for kicks.
Adar is extremely skilled at understanding and carrying out child care methods of all varieties, because he was primarily in charge of the nursery that held uruk young. Officers under Morgoth saw it as a lowly job not worth their time.
After tending to that nursery for ages he earned his current name, Adar. Children are truly a joy to him.
As his children grew up, they learned to tend to each other's young. They developed a communal style of living in order to survive with Adar's guidance.
Adar still remembers his elvish name and keeps that a sacred secret.
He enjoys soft and simple moments.
He has a soft-spoken down to earth quality about him. Only those who are close to him get to see his tooth achingly sweet center. All others are met with a cold stare.
He cannot emote very well anymore. Given that fact he meets everyone with an intimidating stone expression. But those who know him will see his emotions expressed via intensity and glassiness of his eyes or soft redness of his cheeks.
He values kindness when on his redemption journey
He also has always loved entomology. Insects and small critters slowly scurrying about or relaxing are a simple pleasure. He enjoys watching them peacefully live their lives. He is envious of their bliss.
He is 100% a soft submissive with a kitten space and in some AUs I canon him to have a masc-dollification space.
He may be a goth man, but he is highly emotional in private and desperately wants nothing more to be loved by someone. Anyone who will treat him with a delicate hand.
A lover who he is deeply attached to can easily move him to tears with genuine kindness and gentle care.
His heart is also captivated by Elrond and Celebrimbor's vast kindness. In some AUs I canon him to have eyes for High King Gil Galad.
He has stray kitten energy; cute, sad, in desperate need of gentle love but at the same time is ferociously feral ready to chew off your arm.
The only way to tame him is via soft words, feathery touches, and pure kindness. Once you have proven your weight in kindness there isn't a thing you could ask him that he will not do. He will be obedient to you without question.
Others will not receive the privileges above. He might attack one who gets his temper flared up. However, over the years this has gotten better.
He has infinite patience for his children.
When he is not in a state where he feels he has to be violent out of necessity he has infinite patience for all children.
He cannot function well without a soft dom. He needs a constant gentle touch to help him feel safe in the world around him. Nearly everything feels like a threat and the need to be on constant guard is an issue for him. He needs to be in a soft BDSM lifestyle.
He is a bi guy leaning primarily towards being gay. I think it is rare that women get his attention.
I canon him to have done terribly cruel things in his past out of brutal conditioning. He was conditioned to believe he had to kill or be killed to survive. But all of his behavior regardless of how cruel and inhumane was done in order to give his children a chance to live better lives.
In his redemption arc he would have realized his error and did his best to teach his children how to be compassionate towards others. Even he regrets all of his past wrongs and wants desperately to reverse the damage. That's why I write him that way on @adarssuggestionbox .
Regret haunts him daily
In conclusion, to me this is the face of a soul who wants softness and to be soft every day but can't. This is the face of a broken stray kitten who needs love.⬇️
