Yomiel lets out a tired sigh as he picks the kitten up in his arms.
“I’m feeling like a piece of shit again.” He was direct with Sissel; there’s no need to hide things from his cat.
“It... It all started this Christmas, at Jowd’s party. I didn’t tell you then because I didn’t want to worry you when everyone should be happy celebrating but....” Sigh, and his voice is cracking already.
“C-Cabanela... It started with him... again.” He makes a pause as he tries to swallow a lump on his throat, struggling to keep his emotions under control, but he knows it won’t work out for long. “He said some things... It just made me think about... N-Normally I shouldn’t care less what he thinks, what he says of me, but... That conversation we had... It hurt me. It hurt me because I’m afraid he may be right.”
He can’t stop the tears from coming anymore, and they’re already running down his cheeks as he speaks.
“Sissel... Be honest with me. Do you think I’m a coward? I’m keeping the truth from Sissel because I know this... this wouldn’t be good for us. Wouldn’t be good for her. Knowing what I did would hurt her so much and... I don’t want her suffering like I am. If... If I knew she was strong enough to deal with this... If I knew she could deal with the truth, I would have told her already. But... I... I don’t want her to suffer this, I want to get her involved in this mess, I just...” He sobs as he buried his face in the cat’s black fur. “I just want us to be happy! Like it should have been! Why is this so difficult?”