Ship: Darcy Lewis/Thor/Valkyrie
For: @catrinasl
Song: “Immigrant Song” - Led Zeppelin - 1970
Length: 674
Rating: T
Tags: Established Relationship, Humor, Polyamory, Long Distance Relationship
Summary:
Thor and Valkyrie need to crash in Darcy’s apartment. Too bad they actually crashed into Darcy’s apartment. They can totally fix that.
----------------------------------------------
Darcy’s eyes widened at the crash in her half-bath. Crash was probably too nice a word, but she didn’t know how else to describe the clatter of broken porcelain, subsequent water spraying, and select other sound pollution coming from the selling point of this tiny two-bedroom apartment.
She heard swearing. More things falling to the floor before a muffled, “Knock first. It’s polite.”
Three knocks happened before the bathroom door fell forward with a dusty thud on her bedroom floor.
She looked up, unsurprised to see two of the most destructive Asgardians in the entire galaxy huddled up in what was left of her half-bath.
Water sprayed behind them, wetting their armor as they both grinned a little too widely for Darcy to be angry at them.
“I hope you know you’re fixing that. At your own expense, so you’d better have Midgardian currency on you,” she said flatly, raising one eyebrow in their direction. There was no mistaking the mirth in her eyes, though. She was excited to see them. Whether they destroyed her apartment or not.
“Oh absolutely!” Thor said, pushing his way through the ruined doorframe to drip on her bedroom floor.
“She meant me, mead-for-brains,” Brunnhilde countered with a swat against Thor’s meaty shoulder. “You couldn’t fix your armor with three mirrors in front of you.”
“Perhaps, but I hold the currency, so she was technically talking to both of us,” Thor argued.
Darcy sighed and hopped up, opening the door to her bedroom and shooing both of them out into the kitchen. “You’re dripping on my carpet…”
“Would you rather if we dripped on you?” Thor asked, moving closer to lower his head to Darcy’s.
She thought about kissing him, but bathroom water was running all over his armor, so she shook her head. “Strip down and take a shower. I’m going to see what I can do about the leaks in the other bathroom… Make it a quick shower, please. I need to turn off the water.”
“We’re really sorry, Darcy. We’ll fix it, okay?” Brunnhilde reached out to run her hand up and down Darcy’s arm but stopped before touching her. “I’ll fix it. After the quickest of showers.”
Darcy collapsed on the couch after the two of them disappeared into the bathroom. Brunnhilde wasn’t kidding, apparently. Because she and Thor reappeared only minutes later, with the former moving back into the bathroom to tinker with the pipes.
Thor joined Darcy on the sofa, causing it to creak slightly as he settled in beside her.
Darcy leaned her head on his shoulder. “Is there any way you guys could aim for a place that isn’t going to cause major water damage to my apartment?”
“We could, but I’m still getting the hang of Bruce’s teleportation unit…” Thor said with a sigh. “I do apologize for your bathroom, though. Perhaps next time, we’ll take a plane?”
Darcy snuggled into his side, inhaling his scent that was intermingled with her shampoo. “I don’t really care, honestly. I miss you guys too much.”
Brunnhilde came trudging down the hallway a few minutes later. She disappeared directly into the bathroom again, emerging with even wetter hair and a clean scent that came from Darcy’s body wash. “No need to worry. I fixed it. I improved whatever slap job your landlord had done before.”
“I don’t even have to turn off the water?” Darcy asked, impressed. “Wow. I should get you to do all my repairs.”
Brunnhilde was already jumping to her feet when Darcy realized what she’d said and reached out for her hand. “But not now. Now is cuddle time.” She pulled her back on the sofa with herself and Thor.
The latter kept one arm around her waist as she leaned over against Brunnhilde.
“You know… you could simply come live with us in New Asgard,” Thor offered. “We have sturdy plumbing there.”
Day one:
Requested by: @catrinasl
‘Darcy / Claire : bed sharing’
So, this is my first time writing Claire because I’m not very familiar with the series, but I’ll give it a try because she sounds like a totally amazing creature and I love her already (she can come share my blanket fort when the time comes).
Also, I’d like for people to know that no chip was harmed in the making of this thing.
"-And then he goes ‘it wasn’t planned Claire, I swear’!” She added the high pitched note at the end for dramatic effect.
Darcy’s laughter rang through the apartment and the intern’s feet sneaked under her calves. “Girl, you’re cold,” the nurse whined, making a token attempt at shoving her.
Her girlfriend was having none of that though, and snaked closer, snuggling on her side.
Claire huffed goodnaturedly. It was so rare to have some time by themselves lately. Her people’s exploits had begun to escalate so much she knew she was going to fish Matt at least once from a dumpster this week alone. “Honestly, I feel like we’re herding cats here.”
“I feel you,” sniggered Darcy. “Tony recently recruited a kid, and he’s got the same record as Barton at keeping clean, if you know what I mean.”
“Maaaan. Life is so heavy these days.” Claire sighed, and then smirked. She stopped supporting her weight and flopped aimlessly on her lover “oof. Gravity.”
“Girl!” Darcy squealed, laughing.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Claire and Darcy both groaned.
It was the third time tonight already. Her girlfriend gave her an apologetic smile before taking a big breath and picking up.“What, Tony? What is it now?”
“Darcy, you gotta help me! The toaster, I swear it hates me and-”
“Tony?” Darcy demanded incredulously. “Just how drunk are you?” Her hands were on the covers, ready to snap out of it and put on some clothes.
“Some? Not much? Nah, some- But listen, the toaster!”
But by then, Claire had enough. In a second she was at the phone.
“Stark, listen here and listen good. I don’t care what the problem is, but you’re drunk and the girl is with me for the evening. I will give her back tomorrow. If I want. Maybe. For now consider her hostage and don’t fucking bother us. See you.” She almost launched the phone and huffed. Then, before Darcy had other ideas, very loudly scattered their shoes further from the bed and wrapped herself around her girlfriend.
“Now, where were we?” she smiled, contentedly.
Darcy giggled. “You know he’s going to only see ‘she’s a hostage’ and just blitz through the city to reach me, right?”
Clare tugged her closer. “He can certainly try.”
Wee!
Want to send me a prompt for February? Send me a prompt, I’ll do one a day!
ShieldShock Image Set from @shieldshockfanfic
inspired by
ShieldShock Fanfiction -
How to Catch a Leprechaun (Ch. 2/5, in progress)
written by Bulmaveg_Otaku, CatrinaSL, emma98, meleedamage, notahotlibrarian, phoenix_173, SerialObsessor (DlStar71) at Ao3
Summary: Leprechaun insanity unfolds, as told by a few truly inspired Darcyland writers.Darcy is trying to catch herself a Leprechaun, or is the Leprechaun trying to catch her? Either way, she’s falling down a rabbit hole of bizarre dreams (and nightmares).
Tags:
Explicit
Crack
unfiltered and unsupervised crack
that leprechaun is a bad little dude
very special musical episode
very special Shakespearean episode
a very special porntastic voyuerism episode
don't put a bunch of different authors in a google doc magical things will happen
also don't let the 18 year old in charge of the tags
tiny Steve not skinny Steve
the shieldshock isn't too heavy handed if that's not your bag
Ship: Darcy Lewis/Luis
For: @catrinasl
Other tags: Pre-Relationship, Asking out, telephones, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Oblivious Luis, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Banter
Rated: T
Word Count: 844
Summary:
Darcy gave Luis her number, and he never called. So he has a <i>lot</i> of nerve coming into her lab after she gave him her super special digits and then ghosted her.
Or:
The one where Luis is oblivious and Darcy is awesome
"You've got a lot of nerve showing up in this lab," Darcy said slowly, her eyes narrowing as Luis followed Scott into the room. Luis was the one her gaze was directed toward, but Scott was the one who answered.
"I know, but I figured you were here and you don't have a doctorate, so I figured it'd be okay," Scott replied without missing a beat, causing Darcy to turn her attention towards him, if only briefly.
"Scott. Baby. I don't care what kind of degree you're rocking and neither does anyone else. Except maybe Bruce, but that's really just so he can gloat about all of his. And we let him gloat because that man needs the self-esteem boost." She flipped her hair over her shoulder, drumming her nails on the countertop. "Besides, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to your companion over there." She stole a quick glance at Luis, who apparently didn't even count himself a part of the conversation until that very moment.
"What?" he squawked. "I got just as much a right to be here as he does. Besides. We're associates."
"Yeah, but if I recall, the last time you came in, a number was given to you. My number. My personal number. And as far as I can tell, you've never used said number. So yeah. You've got a lot of nerve showing up here when you ghosted me, Luis."
"Ghosted? Shhhh, no way," Luis babbled, his hand going to his messenger bag for the briefest of moments before he reached up to slide his palm over his forehead. "I never ghosted you. Just never needed to use it."
Scott's eyebrows raised so high, they damn near jumped off his face. He took a step back and then sideways from Luis as if to convey to Darcy that he wasn't to be lumped in with the dead man walking.
Darcy, in her own right, placed both hands on the countertop for support as she peered at the man across from her. "Never needed to use it? Dude, that's cold."
"What's cold? No? No." He shook his head. "It would only have been cold if you--"
He stopped dead mid-sentence, the wheels turning in his head as he undoubtedly ran the events of that day over in his mind.
"Okay, so wait a minute here, Darce…" he began. "So that day, my boy, Scott and me, we came here to use the facilities for some top secret Avengers stuff…"
"Free wifi," Scott muttered under his breath, and Luis didn't even pause before continuing.
"Top secret Avengers wifi because we'd just come from the coffee shop across the street and Scott didn't wanna buy a latte from them in order to get the wifi password, and he had to check his email or something, and I was getting my Minecraft on. You walked up, looking all gorgeous and Darcy-like, and handed me your card, said I could use it if I ever wanted to get together…"
He trailed off and looked back into her eyes. "You meant 'get together' like… together-together, didn't you?"
"Sort of," Darcy said with a shrug. "I mean. I don't wanna twist your arm or anything, but if you have the time…"
"You straight up asked me out and I didn't call you?"
"That's pretty much the gist of it, yeah…" she replied, smirking a little.
Luis pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Listen… listen. I had no idea that's what you were doing. I was face-deep in Enderman City when you gave me that number. I thought it was for a work thing, promise. If I'd have known it was more than that? Darce, I woulda called you before we hit the elevator. Ask Scott." He jutted his thumb over to where Scott was trying to make himself disappear into one of the computers.
"In the hallway, yeah," Scott confirmed. "He never shuts up about you, Darce."
Darcy wrapped both arms around her middle as she peered over at Luis, tried to ascertain if he was telling the truth or not. "In the hallway, huh?" she repeated, eyeing him closely. "Because I don't give my number out to just anyone, Luis. Scott doesn't have my number, do you, Scott?"
"Stop bringing me into this," he said, flailing both hands for a split second. "I don't have Darcy's number, though."
"My digits are special," she said with a nod. "And I gave them to you. I kind of expected you to use them."
It was at that moment that her phone rang in her hand. She glanced down at the screen, frowning at the number. "Hold on a sec…"
She turned her back to them to answer. "Hello?"
"Now you've got my digits," Luis said, a smile apparent in his voice. "And they're special too, so use them wisely. Like to text me things. I'll use yours to let you know what time I'll pick you up for dinner."
She turned back to Luis and grinned. "I'm free after seven. Just FYI."
Karen groaned when the power finally flickered out and stayed out. She had a space heater and a toasty blanket, but she also had a ton of work to do, so this wasn’t exactly the best timing.
She flipped on the flashlight app and padded barefoot through the hall, finding a pair of toasty socks to match her blanket. A sharp knock sounded on her apartment door, causing her to smile widely. Apparently, Darcy hadn’t had enough time to leave the city before the ice storm hit. That certainly brightened her immediate future.
She grabbed another pair of fluffy socks and made her way back to the front room, answering the door and flipping off her flashlight.
“Where did you get taper candles in the year of our Lord 2018?” Karen asked, leaning coyly against the door frame.
“I think a better question is, where did I find this old-timey candle holder? And the answer… is something I’m playing close to the vest, but definitely is ‘play prop’.”
Karen moved out of the way and held out the socks. “I have extras.”
“Gross,” Darcy said, grabbing the socks and setting the taper candle down on Karen’s buffet table. “Like I’d want your old socks…” Even as she was complaining, she was kicking off her shoes and white cotton socks to replace them with the fluffy ones Karen had handed her. “Presumptuous, much?”
“Did you miss your flight on purpose or by accident?” Karen asked completely side-stepping Darcy’s obvious bait.
Darcy extended her leg, wriggling her toes. “What do you think?”
“I think I want to cuddle on the couch before we freeze to death.”
Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Peter Quill
For: @catrinasl
Prompt: Honey Bun
Rating: M (for light spanking? Seriously, I debated, bc no smut)
Word Count: 672
"Aww, that's okay, honey bun…" Peter's hand came down on her ass with a loud smack. She tried to keep the surprised look off her face, acting instead like this was just something they did.
That she alway wore electric blue spandex and teased up her hair and hung on Peter Quill's every word. That they always kept the company of giant crab people.
Okay, so maybe she did kind of hang on his every word, sometimes. He was hella charming and completely clueless to how he affected her, so it was only fair, right?
They absolutely did not hang out with giant crab people all the time, though.
He grinned and shrugged. "Females, amiright? They're only good for one thing." Darcy had to hide her wince because holy shit would Gamora destroy him for saying something like that. To be fair, Darcy would destroy him too, if she didn't know that it was completely an act and he in no way thought anything of the sort about females.
Peter then winked in the direction of what she took to be one of the female crab people. Darcy almost shuddered when her mandibles started dripping.
She tightened her hold on Peter and swallowed thickly, trying to keep the dumb smile on her face and act natural.
Act like they were a couple who effed like bunnies every chance they got and definitely NOT a space thief and his stowaway trying to steal some kind of little rock thing from these purple crab people.
His arm tightened protectively around her waist when one of the other crab people started talking.
"Nah... " he shook his head. "I don't share, sorry…"
Oh gross… this crab-man wants to share me? Enough is enough…
Darcy reached down into the tiny bag Gamora had packed for her and pulled out the itsy bitsy teeny weeny, yellow-polka-dot machiney… gun that Rocket had modded for her.
She turned it on the crab people and disengaged from Peter's arms. "Alright, Listen up, Joe's Crab Shack… unless you wanna find out what Sea Legs are, you need to tell me where this fancy stone is…"
"Darcy, babe. You are so hot right now," Peter whispered. The sound of his voice made her shiver. But there wasn't much time for that, not with the angry clicking from the crab people.
There was some shooting after that, but not much.
And some running, but again… not much.
And some stone stealing, but only as much as was needed to… you know… steal the stone.
And more running. It was maybe becoming much after all. Luckily, they were a stone's throw away from the Milano.
And Darcy knew that because Peter totally chucked the stone into the docking bay before they boarded themselves.
"That was super hot… are you aware of how incredibly hot you are right now?" Peter asked, hurriedly pulling his lap belt into place and twisting a bunch of knobs.
"I dunno, Quill. You only said it like a billion times before, during and after the job... "
"Okay, to put it in some perspective, Darcy… I'm considering renaming my ship the 'Lewis'." Peter shot her a completely serious look, turning a final knob and starting up the Milano's engine.
Darcy was red, blue, purple and yellow… Basically all kinds of flustered by that revelation, but she wasn't about to tell Peter that. She'd likely lose some of her cool points if she confessed how much his hand on her ass had done it for her. Not to mention the nickname.
But that might have been connected to his hand on her ass too. Color her surprised that she was into being called someone's 'honey bun' while they lightly smacked her spandex covered ass, but like she said before… red, blue, purple, yellow…
All kinds of surprised.
But again, that kind of talk could wait until they'd stabilized. Asking the pilot to spank her more might be detrimental to take off.
Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Foggy Nelson
For: @catrinasl
Prompt: Cuddling
Darcy glanced to her right. Where Foggy was kind of awkwardly lounging on the couch. He looked like one of those people in stock photos. Like he was told that this was how humans acted in social situations.
His back was all stiff and he looked like he was sweating.
"You doing okay over there?" she asked, raising her eyebrows slightly.
"I'm just… still wearing my office stuff and I'm boiling, but it's fine." He shrugged. Stiffly. Like, Darcy could hear his suit creaking.
"You wanna -- and please take this as literally as possible -- slip into something more comfortable?"
Foggy laughed, sounding even more uncomfortable. "I would, but I don't think you'd have anything that would fit me."
"Oh. Right. This is my place…" Darcy glanced around at the Felix the Cat clock hanging on the wall that led into her kitchen. "We could go clothing optional? And we'll just… cuddle up under this throw blanket and see what happens?"
His eyebrows shot up and he glanced over at her. "That's skipping quite a few steps in the relationship. Are you sure?"
"I'm positive," she replied.
"Only fools are positive," Foggy countered, standing up to shrug out of his suit jacket.
"Are you sure?"
He snorted out a laugh. "Objection."
Inspiration for joke at the end: (I want to say this was also a Moe Howard bit in the Three Stooges, but this is what I know it from)
