#catullus v

[darlinglove]

[lelliefant]

Hiddleswift: A Defense in Retrospect

Two-and-a-half years later, I’m still seeing haters on Tumblr trying to trash Tom for this three-month romance. At the time (summer of 2016), I was pretty much silent on Tumblr, but I’m gonna give this argument a go now, as it appears the hate just won’t die.

A lot of people like to believe that Tom and Taylor’s relationship was just for publicity, but if you knew anything about what actually happened, and about Tom’s personality, you'd realize that makes zero sense.

First, I can confidently say that Tom had no motivation to seek out notoriety, but every reason to fall in love. It’s possible that Taylor thought about the prospect of publicity, and it might even have made him more attractive to her, but she hardly needs extra publicity.

Taylor’s known to have had a crush on his Loki character from the Avengers,* which is probably why she arranged to sit next to him at Anna Wintour's party (where they first met) and then again later at the 2016 Met Gala.

As for Tom, he fell for her like a rock. She is exactly his type; she's an amazing, beautiful, and talented young artist and a smart businesswoman; she pursued him; and he was smitten. He had no reason at the time to look for publicity (nothing to promote), and he has always otherwise avoided that kind of personal notoriety.*

In fact, he strictly avoids sharing his personal life with the Media.* He's never been an overexposed bubblegum pop culture icon; he's always pursued work as a serious, gifted dramatic actor with a lot of indie and theater cred, particularly gifted in Shakespeare.

At Cambridge (where he earned a double-first in Classics) Tom once performed as Orestes in Electra, speaking entirely in Ancient Greek:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-AmRve7EZRE

When creating Loki, he sourced his characterization on research of Norse mythology and what was familiar to him: Shakespearian characters. He returns to the stage whenever possible, between films.

Last year, he decided to take a year-long break from film. If he only cared about advancing his fame, this was not a good career move. Instead, he participated in a number of charity events, including a run as Hamlet for the tiny RADA theater to raise funds for his alma-mater. Of course, he took no payment.

Those are not life goals, accomplishments, or qualities that mesh with or demonstrate any interest in drawing the attention of the unwashed masses, or teenaged Taylor fans for that matter.

But what really makes me convinced that it was all real--at least for him--is that it fits perfectly with his personality. This is a guy who jumps headlong into life, especially in love. He is, in a word, enthusiastic. He has said many times that his only fear/regret in life is not living it to the fullest.

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/tom-hiddleston-admitts-his-biggest-fear-mine-is-regret-looking-back-at-things-i-haven-t-done-a3356611.html

If I made quote the man on this point, "We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one."

And he's also said many times in many ways that he just doesn't see the value in living a fake existence.* A fake, painfully public romance would simply have had no appeal for him, personally or professionally.

But people like to think the worst of others; they think it makes them seem superior, sophisticated, and smart to be cynical.* And nobody would actually be so naïve to believe two famous, beautiful, successful people could actually be genuinely attracted to each other, right?

It’s just a much more profitable story for the Media to frame these two as cold, calculating, self-promoting, deliberate liars who would actually want that type of shallow, populist, Kardashian fame. Even though they had both already earned and achieved a deeper quality of fame based on their genuine talent and professional success and acclaim. And the general public eats that stuff up, without question, because it’s what they want to believe.

All this being said, I know very little about Taylor, personally. I suspect that when she actually got to know Tom, he turned out to be an overwhelming energizer bunny, an overeducated egghead, and a giggly dork, when she had expected a dark, brooding, and mysterious bad boy.

Case in point:

Tom:

Loki:

Tom:

Loki:

I think Taylor realized her mistake and acted immediately to cut the relationship off, because she is not the type of person to stick around for something she doesn't want. And I think that totally took him by surprise, because he had jumped wholeheartedly into the relationship without a parachute. You might say he was too impetuous for his age but, like I said, that fits with his demonstrated personality traits--whereas the idea that the relationship never meant anything to him clearly does not.

Another relevant quote from Tom (this was prior to their relationship): "I gave myself permission to care, because there are a lot of people in this world who are afraid of caring, or afraid of showing that they care because it's uncool. It's uncool to have passion. It's so much easier to lose when you've shown everyone how much you don't care if you win or lose. It's much harder to lose when you show that you care, but, you'll never win, unless you also stand to lose. Don't be afraid of your passion."

https://www.bustle.com/articles/122067-tom-hiddlestons-best-advice-to-his-fans-to-help-them-live-life-to-the-fullest

“Don’t be afraid of your passion.”

This is the guy I admire. A smart, erudite, accomplished man who hasn't let life beat him down or make him cynical--quite the opposite. This guy thrives on the challenge. He chooses optimism in spite of hardship; almost--weirdly--because of hardship. This deliberate fool is not afraid to risk his heart, and he grabs life with both hands, knowing the risks.

TL;DR:

Y’all can stop hating on Hiddleswift. It was real, which makes sense if you look at the evidence.

If you scoff and say I’m being naive, I have another one for you: you’re the one naively believing the trash people say and going along with it, trying to be smug and superior.

I don’t know much about her, but I know from Tom, and Tom was (and always strives to be) genuine.

Fame isn’t everything to everyone, especially not to people who already have plenty of it.

If I haven’t made this clear: tabloid noteriety is not the same as fame, much less professional acclaim.

Can we please let it go now?

Relevant Resources

https://www.bustle.com/articles/122067-tom-hiddlestons-best-advice-to-his-fans-to-help-them-live-life-to-the-fullest

https://www.bustle.com/articles/51780-tom-hiddleston-is-making-people-care-about-shakespeare-english-teachers-everywhere-should-rejoice

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/film/2015/oct/08/tom-hiddleston-interview-crimson-peak

http://www.bbcamerica.com/anglophenia/2015/10/tom-hiddleston-your-comfort-zones-what-youre-frightened-of

https://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/tom-hiddleston-admitts-his-biggest-fear-mine-is-regret-looking-back-at-things-i-haven-t-done-a3356611.html

*Note: For some d@mn reason, Tumblr is not letting me include very many links in this post (the draft won’t save when I add them). I have a number of additional specific resources in support of the statements in this post. Additional sources are available upon request.

[darlinglove]

Ao saber quantos beijos nós já demos.

- Catullus, Carmen V

[wai-nan]

5 MY GIRLFRIEND AND I ARE ALIVE AND WE ARE IN LOVE AND EVERYONE WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT IS *OLD* OLD MEN WHO ARE JEALOUS AND HAVE ZERO GIRLFRIENDS UNLIKE ME, WHO HAS A WHOLE GIRLFRIEND AND YES DEATH IS COMING OR WHATEVER BUT WE HAVE TIME FOR A THOUSAND THEN HUNDRED MAKEOUTS BEFORE THEN, MAYBE TEN HUNDRED, MAYBE MORE THAN ANYONE CAN COUNT AND WE WILL MAKE OUT FOREVER AND BE HAPPY AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT THEN UNSUBSCRIBE

Daniel Lavery, Dirtbag Catullus

[random-blogging-at]

Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus, rumoresque senum severiorum omnes unius aestimemus assis. Soles occidere et redire possunt: nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, nox est perpetua una dormienda. Da mi basia mille, deinde centum, dein mille altera, dein secunda centum, deinde usque altera mille, deinde centum, Dein, cum milia multa fecerimus, conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus, aut ne quis malus invidere possit, cum tantum sciat esse basiorum.

- Gaio Valerio Catullo

(Carmina, V)

Viviamo, mia Lesbia, ed amiamo, e ogni mormorio perfido dei vecchi valga per noi la più vile moneta. Il giorno può morire e poi risorgere, ma quando muore il nostro breve giorno, una notte infinita dormiremo. Tu dammi mille baci, e quindi cento, poi dammene altri mille, e quindi cento, quindi mille continui, e quindi cento. E quando poi saranno mille e mille, nasconderemo il loro vero numero, che non getti il malocchio l’invidioso per un numero di baci così alto.

(traduzione di Salvatore Quasimodo)

Lesbia, ta hãy sống, hãy yêu nhau Mặc ai già cả thở dài than vắn Ta sẽ không cho họ một cắc nào Mặc kệ mặt trời cứ lên rồi lặn. Em hãy nhớ rằng ngày của ta chóng tàn Ta về ngủ trong đêm dài vô tận Hãy hôn anh nghìn nụ hôn cháy bỏng Rồi lại một nghìn, rồi lại một trăm Còn khi đã hôn nhau cả trăm ngàn lần Không cần biết và ta không cần đếm Để ai ganh tỵ về ta đừng nói nhảm Rằng hai chúng mình… Đã hôn nhau cả vạn, cả ngàn.

(bản dịch của Nguyễn Viết Thắng)

[whenitallturnstodust]

soles occidere et redire possunt: nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux, nox est perpetua una dormienda.

Catullus V

[wrecklessperfectionist]

Let us live, my Lesbia, and love. As for all the rumors of those stern old men, Let us value them at a mere penny. Suns may set and yet rise again, but Us, with our brief light, can set but once. One never-ending night must be slept.