#cavvery

[jeinu]

A bunch of icon commissions for a DND group from @villnis​!!

From the top: Amon (@dalish-farther-roam​), Ianry (@villnis​), Brenton (@themilokin​), Cavvery (@phoenix-failing), Sarula (@urdnotgrunt​), Taraqris (@kelseyofcake​), Rona (@colonelcupquake​), and Valtish (@frenchy-and-the-sea​) !!! 

[phoenix-failing]

Why do you hurt?

Rules: Take this quiz as your OCs!

Tagged by: @frenchy-and-the-sea

I also did it for all of mine because I have no chill but the really interesting ones were Cav and Sikora!

Cav shockingly got the same result as Bren, like they’re twins or something....

you swallow pain & fold around it

you have always hurt. you hold it carefully, and twisted in such a way that other people don't have to see it. you don't choke on it. you don't drown. you just have it, the way some people have freckles, this is a thing that lives in your bones. you fold instead of fighting because you know how to make yourself small, tuck away the places where they have clawed at, swallow the bruises so you seem clean. nobody needs to see it. you will live through this on your own. you know what you need, and relief isn't it. this doesn't mean you cannot reach out - it means it is not in your nature to do so. you should. hiding does not mean you won't be seen.

And Sikora got the most painfully accurate one

because you have made mistakes you cannot swallow

mistakes come back to you like echoes in an empty cave. you have been trying since you started but does trying count? is trying good enough? every night it visits you, the pain that you have caused with your clumsy hands and venom-tongue. life careens onward, onward, with the moon hung in the sky and the sun the day after, but you walk backwards on this path so you can keep sight of what you did. the destruction still feels fresh. it still feels like fire, where you burned them. fire is supposed to be warm. it burned them, and it will swallow you. blow out the candle. let it rest. some things are better left behind in the dark.

I’ve never been good at tagging people but it’s a super quick like 8 or 9 question quiz and is super fun so go for it and say I tagged you if you want a reason!

[phoenix-failing]

Cav: orange, baby blue, bone, sepia

Orange: What are some of your comfort foods? Little sweets like muffins or tarts, small things you’d make a lot of because one of the early Tannenbay staff wound up taking a special liking to the Twins when they were super young and would save them little extra treats from the kitchens. Warm cookies. But also like little kid sandwiches, like banana and peanut butter or strawberries and cream cheese. It used to be for the same reasons but a few years back Bren who is awful in a kitchen had made her a bunch of those little sandwhiches cut into small triangles when she was too tired to make it down to the kitchens to eat properly when she got back from late awful days with Kay. It’s one of the only things she can trust him to make without setting something on fire and it’s a nice memory of him taking care of her.

Baby Blue: Would you consider having children? If so, how many? I don’t think Cav has honestly ever thought too much about it. She isn’t against kids but so much has happened to her I don’t think she’d trust herself to care for a child properly, or trust that she deserved something like that in her life. A little one who just loved her and didn’t know what she’d done. I think she’d be too scared for them to ever find out who she really was and she’d think she would just have to spend the rest of her life pretending again. But she’s mostly just scared, if a kid kind of fell into her lap and needed her I think she’d be fine after a few panics, she’d figure out how to handle the situation and that it isn’t as big a deal as she’s worrying herself into it being. But yeah I think she’d end up really happy with a kid but she’d never try for one herself (at least not for a first one) or plan on having any prior to some event where she realizes she can be okay.

Bone:  When was the first time you ever witnessed death? How did it impact you? I’m a little too out of it tonight to remember how old I’ve said she was but it young, older than 7 younger than 15 type. But she was with Kay for some meeting or appointment, being the little courtier shadow and something went wrong. They knew too much or the wrong things but Kay killed them, Right in front of Cav, and then made her clean it up. It fucked her up pretty well, she definitely washed her hands like 20 times and still thought she could feel the blood and she’s never worn any part of her clothes from that night again. But the part that screwed her up the most was that after that Kay didn’t see any reason to hide that part of her life from her and no reason not to use Cavvery to do that dirty work instead. It wasn't planned but that night was the very last time Cavvery got to be anything like a normal child.

Sepia: Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they? Cav actually loves reading, especially notes and like diaries. I have no idea if you’ve heard of the dear america books before? But they’re basically historical fiction written as diary entries about these girls lives through certain events/ time periods and I loved them as a kid but anything in sendra written like that and she’s in love tearing through them in like a day or two tops. But she also just likes getting to be at home in like comfy clothes, modern magic cav loves having a day off to just live in sweat pants and one of dropkicks giant shirts, and playing with Moog (the giant dog Kiva and dropkick have) she’ll take him to a dog park and just hang out for hours. She loves collecting little random pretty things too, just looking around and finding cool cheap trinkets that look pretty. Cav would probably love antiquing but not for anything big or expensive jut weird little cool nick-nacks for like $2.

[phoenix-failing]

listen if it takes an au where Cav's a character in a dating sim for me to be able to give her hugs and kisses then that's fine I CAN WORK WITH THAT

Cav’s route is definitely meet at a fancy party talk for awhile she gets called away by Kay (because drama and intrigue). Find her at another party ask about Kay get that whole scoop. Meet Bren then get to have a ‘normal’ date. Probably have to hold her through an awful crying screaming meltdown when something happens to him, dramatic battle to save bren. get through one last convo where she tries to convince you to leave her alone because she’s awful you refuse then it works out alright and cute end cut scene......

[phoenix-failing]

1, 10, 14, and 33 for Cav!

1. What is one word to shut them up?

“Kay.” 

It doesn't matter what she’s in the middle of or how loud you say it. It’s a pretty clear trigger to stand straight and hold posture and let the emotion kinda slip. The twins got good at quietly alerting the other when they needed to be on and always keeping an eye on the entrances to a room so they won’t get caught off guard.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

She thinks she has to handle everything herself. She can’t ask for help or see other people as genuinely helpful without another reason. She’s real bad at trusting people. She slowly slowly gets better but it takes such a long time to get her practice.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Very. Anytime she’s around Kay or like courtier-ing in any way she’s so tight laced and careful that when she’s out of that everything else kind of just overflows. When she’s home, when she feels safe she tends to just kind of feel everything. 

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

Cav had a friend in the earlier years of school. This girl was pretty nice and amazing and good at her classes and she had like a normal happy life and everything was normal. They were never outrageously close but they’d sit together and share food or study together. But this was her hollywood dream this was her apple pie life case this girl proved that everything could be normal and okay and good. Until the day cav walked into a bathroom too quick and saw the bruises that were always hidden under the girls uniform and the realization that she didn’t have a great life, that it wasn’t perfect either, she was faking it just as much as the rest of them. But it honestly shattered Cav. It was the closest Cav got to Bren’s what if games, what if she’d been more like that girl. But that day she stopped thinking it was really possible. And it crushed Cav she just sorta walked out and put up a wall around the girl. And inevitably it got super awkward and they just drifted apart. 

[phoenix-failing]

1, 3, 10, aaand 13 for Cav, 4, 15, and 31 for Lori!

Cavvery:

1.What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

-Days honestly, she’s well trained in just letting her mind blank out and her body stand at attention for as long as she has to. Usually she’s too focused on keeping tabs on everything and she’s expected to deal with members or courts or those of use and interest to Kay; you never know what she’ll be able to use later. So usually she’s not too blank but if she’s in pain or has been going too long she’ll just blank her mind and get through it for as long as she has to. 

3.How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

-Cav talks like crazy before she sleeps, she has to be careful about anything she says or even can’t talk at all so often that it helps her to kinda focus down and not feel so pent up. If she has to she can just sorta will herself to sleep and knock out (modern magic cav had plenty of private school roommates or social slumber parties to go to not to learn that) but she doesn't sleep soundly or wake up rested usually. She’s quiet about it and prefers someone to actually talk to but she’ll just talk her day out sometimes even if Brenten is already asleep or if he’s not up for conversation. She just keeps getting quieter and longer pauses until she finally drifts off. 

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

-The easy and more literal answer is that she’s safe and happy and Kay takes such good care of her, it’s a debt she can never repay for her kindness taking them in when they were so young. It doesn’t haunt her it’s what she has to say it’s what she has to feel in front of people. It’s survival but it burns like acid and tastes like bile every time she says it but she says it with a pleasant expression and something easily mistaken for actual happiness in her eyes every time. 

-The hard answer is the one she tells her herself every time she looks in the mirror or walks out of a room, it’s that she’s not Kay, this won’t be her. She won’t become her worst nightmare one day; she has control. That Kay made her into who she is not that she would be this way anyway, not that she was always going to be who she is. That one haunts her because it’s the type of lie a child tells themselves in the daylight. Monsters don’t exist, I’m safe they won’t like to nibble on a child like me but every time the lights go down the truth (or at least the fear and uncertainly) comes slipping out. She’s haunted by what will happen the one time she can’t talk herself out of her fears, the one time she loses control what will she become. (And for modern magic what she became and just how much of herself she’ll lose if it happens again).

13.What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?Reds, Teals, lots of accent black. The really striking bold colors. Usually she’s right she’s pale enough to be pretty and memorable with the contrast but every once in awhile she gets a shade wrong and looks washed out and hollow. ”Nice dress. You finally look how you feel every time Kay get’s done with you, good choice Cav.” 

“Brenten shut the fuck up”

Lori:

4.How easy is it to earn their trust?

-It used to be pretty easy, shes adventurous and spontaneous (she’s spot on as chaotic neutral). It used to be as easy as running a few schemes with her, being up for that kind of action and getting to be mischievous together. But after Chrodechild (left in the middle of the night with the bag of holding, betrayed and manipulated the whole party secretly playing a chaotic evil character and the woman she was basically in love with) it’s a little harder. Lori’s still a little broken from that (the version you guys got to meet had time to get over it and get herself back some but the one in the actual campaign hasn’t yet) she still trusts people but she’s relearning how to trust herself and her judgments of people again.  

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?-Lori is 10,000% a talk first think later kind of girl. She was once caught stealing by the captain of the guard and brushed it off as “of course I can’t be a thief. If I was that would be so embarrassing to be this bad. I’m too bad at this to have been planing to steal anything.” And she’s known to get into bar fights over the half elf ears much like Mal being in a alliance bar on unification day. She’s snarky and a little spitfire, quite fond of the snappy retorts. Think early season Buffy for snark and sass levels. 

 Every once in awhile she’ll plan or rehearse something but it’s rare and only for something really really important. 

31.Who are they the most glad to have met?

-Rook the rogue who took her in and taught her most everything she knows. She’d been in a town for a few years working odd jobs and at a tavern but it wasn’t a place fond of elves and when she got herself into a fight with a patron over that she was swiftly kicked out. But she still needed rent money and food and she felt awful relaying on her roommate to bare the cost of everything and began small time thievery but it was a rush and she was good. She got cocky. Until someone new came into town and she quickly learned her tricks didn’t exactly work against someone else in the business. Rook gave her a choice of coming with him and letting him train her or he’d go straight to the city guard. She chose him. In a couple different ways. She left that night with no more than a hasty note to her roommate and friend. She traveled with Rook and he did teach her everything as she moved on to a guild innate and found a whole new family there. Everything best about her life since leaving her home has been through Rook and she’s more than half in love with him but he’s never quite noticed her feeling (or honestly his own) he got close when she died and he came and met up with her party to revive her but she was falling for Chrodechild then and he was busy making fun of her for not making a move (before that all fell apart). But one day those crazy kids will figure it out. They have in modern magic but Rook isn’t really in the actual campaign aside from backstory and some brief letters so it’s harder there, and Lori still being a little broken. But he is easily the best person in her life right now.