3 year old Hunter: Daddy, did you eat all the penis?
Scott:
Hunter: You like penis, Daddy?
Scott:
Hunter:
Scott:
Hunter:
Scott: PEANUTS! Yes, I ate the peanuts.
Hunter: You like penis.
Quill, dying of laughter: I mean--

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3 year old Hunter: Daddy, did you eat all the penis?
Scott:
Hunter: You like penis, Daddy?
Scott:
Hunter:
Scott:
Hunter:
Scott: PEANUTS! Yes, I ate the peanuts.
Hunter: You like penis.
Quill, dying of laughter: I mean--
Quill: Are these more cookies?
Cassie: No! Stop eating all of the cookies!
Quill: But I only had two!
Cassie: I will literally rock-paper-scissors you out of the kitchen!
---Later---
Scott: Where are the cookies?
Quill: ...Cassie won rock-paper-scissors.
Quill: *opens fridge*
Cassie: What are you looking for?
Quill: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure we don't have it.
*Quill playing hangman with the twins*
Hunter: 5!
Quill: What? No. It had to be a letter.
Hailey: 8!
Quill: *to Scott* Are we cousins?
Scott: Toddlers are dumb big guy.
Scott: We just waited an hour to see our pediatrician. As soon as he walked in, Hailey took his hand and pointed to his watch and said "This is a clock." Which was the most passive aggressive thing I have ever witnessed.
Hunter: How long do I have to listen to you?
Quill: For the rest of your life.
Hunter: I'll listen to you for the rest of your life.
Quill: Jokes on you! I'm immortal so I'll never die!
Hailey: Can I have some?
Quill, with a mouthful of cake: You won't like it. It's spicy.
*Quill listening to his 80's playlist.*
Hunter: Is this guy dead?
Hunter: Is this guy dead?
Hunter: How dead is this guy?
Quill: *sobs quietly into coffee*