#cerumen impaction

[cranquis]

TSK: Dr. Cranquis pushes his nurse's buttons.

Nurse: Oh please oh please, don't tell me you want me to clean out that old guy's ears, I can't stand ear wax!

Cranquis: Oh no, don't worry, he doesn't need his ears cleaned out.

Nurse: (huge sigh of relief)

Cranquis: In fact, the reason his ears are itchy is because he's been keeping his ears TOO clean. So what I'd like you to do is dig some wax out of your OWN ears, and stuff it into his ears.

Nurse: STOP! I'M GONNA VOMIT! STOP IT!

Cranquis: Merry Christmas! :)

[cranquis]

Do you have a favorite and least favorite procedure?

Well, Skillful Skink, I've talked about my least-favorite procedures before, so I'll just link you there.

As for my favorites, that's a tie between removing impacted cerumen (ear wax) and relocating pediatric subluxed radial heads (nursemaid's elbow). I'm serious! Both of them are (usually) quick fixes with concrete (in the case of ear wax: sometimes literally), visible results. Patients walk out of my clinic feeling 100% better, and I get to bill for a fast but valuable procedure too.

In the case of the dislocated elbows, the parents are often visibly shocked and amazed by the way that I can make their child's "non-moving arm" go back to its normal "grabbing everything in sight" behavior, with just one quick maneuver. It sure makes me feel awesome. :)

I particularly enjoy disimpacting cerumen, then displaying the ear-canal-shaped wax "plug" carefully on a piece of tissue paper on the counter, for my nurse to find (and get grossed out by) later. XD