#interview with the vampire#iwtv#the vampire armand#sam reid
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I decided that chapter 2 of kiss me, and i might is gonna be from Peeta’s pov…. and I’m really excited about it! Here’s a snippet of stay forever:
Heavy is the Head Chapter 2: Let’s Go Find Our Lost Lovers
ao3 link
“Casey? Casey? Hey! Captain, wake up!”
Casey wakes up to Stella shaking him and shouting at him, only it doesn’t sound like she’s shouting everything is muffled by the ringing in his ears. But he can tell she’s yelling by the expression on her sooty face.
“I’m fine,” he grunts and sits up, his head spinning as he looks around the darkness around them trying to make out some familiar feature in the beam of his flashlight. Everything hurts like he’s been sent through the spin of a dryer, and his skin feels hot and sharp- like the unbearable shriveling hot it gets when a room is getting dangerously close to flashing over. “What the hell happened?”
“We almost roasted what happened,” Stella pants and wipes her face with the back of one gloved hand.
Casey nods and blinks his eyes a couple times. He remembers now. They’d been on the landing of the second sublevel when the fire had come through the door, Stella had tackled him out of the way and that’s the last thing he can picture clearly.
“The stairs came down on top of us,” she says, shining her flashlight up the stairs behind him to reveal what looks like a wall of cement blocking their way back up.
“The good news is, we made it to the third floor,” Casey says, directing his own light toward the number painted on the wall. They must’ve rolled down an entire flight of stairs; it definitely feels like they did. He’s bruised in places he didn’t know he had. “We can get to Severide and Brett now.”
“I don’t know if that’s going to happen Captain,” Stella breathes and shines her flashlight on the doorway. The door has been blown off its hinges and on the other side of it is a solid wall of debris.
“Damn it,” Casey spits and punches his fist into the hard ground; he barely even feels it. The more he thinks about Sylvie being stuck down here the more his chest tightens out of fear and panic. “We have to get to her.”
“Captain-”
He grabs up his halligan and hauls himself to his feet. There’s no telling if Severide got to her, for all Matt knows she’s trapped somewhere on the side of the slab of concrete blocking the doorway. A halligan is no sledge hammer, but he’s done more with much less. He starts his swing, but Stella jumps in front of him grabbing both his arm and the shaft of the bar.
“Woah there cowboy!” She says urgently and restless his arms down. “You can’t just go whacking away at stuff! I know you want to get to Brett, but you don’t know what that thing is supporting. You could cause a secondary collapse!”
“I have to find her!” Casey argues and tries to yank his tool free from Stella’s hands, but she tightens her grip.
“Casey. I know you want to find her! Trust me! Kelly’s out there somewhere in all this mess too! I want to find him just as badly as you want to find Brett, but we can’t just go blowing through debris. That blast probably brought this whole place down. We gotta use our heads, Captain!” Stella shouts and yanks the halligan out of his hands.
“But…” Casey starts to protest but gets hit with a sudden wave of dizziness and collapses back onto the hard ground, everything around him spinning.
“Captain!” Stella’s cry is distant and gets drown out by the ringing in his ears intensifying.
***
Gallo’s been his fair share of blazing infernos, but the heat wave that came off the parking garage as the gas ignited was like nothing he’s ever felt before. It was blistering…
Cruz grabs him and shouts something at him, but he can’t make out a word of, just a deafening ringing in his ears. The world is spinning around him and his eyes are stinging from the heat and the dusty smoke, but he can make out blood coming out of the squad firefighter’s ears, and he looks as dizzy and out of it as Blake feels.
“Cruz are you okay?” he shouts, or at least he hopes that’s what he shouted, as he grabs hold of Cruz’s arm and turns his gaze toward the parking structure that’s now more of a pile of rubble than anything else. It’s hard to make out much more than that through the smoke and dust.
The squad firefighter tugs at Blake’s arm to get his attention, and says something as he points at his ears, but Gallo can’t make out a word of it. Part of him just wants to pass out, everything hurts and his head is spinning.
“I can’t hear you!” Blake tries to tell him, and Cruz gives up on whatever he’s trying to say and grabs Gallo the shoulder strap of his air pack and hauls him to his feet. It’s not until he’s upright that he realizes just how bad his dizziness is, the only reason he doesn’t fall over is because Cruz keeps him upright as he tugs him back toward the relative safety of the trucks. As they stumble toward the trucks Mouch emerges from the dust to meet them.
***
“Are you two okay?” Mouch asks as he grabs onto both Cruz and Gallo. Neither of them look okay. Gallo looks like he’s about to fall over and they're both bleeding from their ears. He can also make out a couple burns on the firefighters.
“I think the explosion ruptured his ear drums,” Cruz pants, both of them nearly collapsing onto Mouch. “He can’t hear anything-
“Okay,” Mouch says, scanning both of them for further injuries. Gallo is definitely burned but nothing too bad. “Let’s get both of you to 61-”
“Mackey-” Cruz starts to ask, still talking a little louder than necessary. It wouldn’t surprise him at all if the squad firefighter also ruptured and ear drum.
“She’s fine!” Mouch promises and throws Gallo’s arm over his shoulder. The kid looks wholly confused.
“What’s happening?” he shouts, and the sound of the kids voice hollering in his ears makes his head hurt. He hadn’t been nearly as close to the explosion as Cruz or Gallo, but the blast still did it’s number on his head.
“Chief, I got Gallo and Cruz,” Mouch says clicking on his radio to let Boden know he found them. “There in one relative piece.”
“Any sign of Severide, Casey, Brett, or Kidd?” Boden replies, he sounds relieved that at least two out of the six MIA firefighters are safe.
“No sign of them, chief,” Mouch replies looking around the hazy air. The four of them had still been inside when the building went up in flames, so he’s not sure why he’s looking around hoping to see them. There’s a good chance he won’t see any of them ever again, not in one recognizable piece anyway.
***
Brett groans and tries to sit up but there’s something heavy laying on top of her; her head is pounding like nothing she’s ever felt before and she’s not entirely sure she’ll be able to keep herself awake- or even if she wants to try. Everything hurts and the weight bearing down on top of her isn’t helping; it’s not a solid weight like concrete or cement, it’s softer than that… like a body pinning her face first on the ground, but there are things poking her too. She blinks open her eyes and finds herself staring at a hand flopped a couple inches from her face. There’s a yellow reflective strip around the cuff of the thick black coat sleeve that the hand is coming out of.
“Casey?” she whines and tries to roll to get him off of her, but he’s too heavy. She doesn’t really remember much of anything after sending Mackey up to radio to help, but she’s pretty sure Casey was down here with her, after all it would be him to come get her.
“Casey, please,” she chokes desperately and tries again to wiggle herself free from the weight bearing down on top of her. It’s hard to breath and she’s not sure if it’s from dust and smoke or the body crushing her. She knows just from being around the station that anyone in full bunker gear could easily weigh well over 200 pounds, and if she didn’t believe it before, she definitely does now.
“Casey, wake up,” she gasps, her fear running deeper than just not being able to breathe or being crushed the firefighter laying on top of her. Casey isn’t saying anything or moving, and her mind leaps to the worst possible explanation for it all.
“Casey! Please!” she begs not really for herself anymore, she just wants him to be okay- to move or talk or just not be dead. She pushes at the ground trying to push his weight off her, but after a couple seconds of struggle she gives up and lets her forehead flop against the rough dirty floor. She has to get out from under him, not so much for herself, but for him. He needs her help. Sucking in a deep breath, Sylvie digs deep and mustering what’s left of her dying strength she uses her legs and arms to push herself onto her side and tip Casey’s dead weight off of her. There’s a heavy thunk as his air tank hits the ground. It’s only as she claws herself upright that she realizes it wasn’t Casey laying on top of her at all. It was Severide.
“Severide?” she chokes and leans over the downed squad lieutenant. She can’t tell if he’s breathing through all of his gear, but it doesn’t look like he is. “Severide, stay with me buddy.”
She presses her fingers against his neck in search of a pulse, he flinches as he hand makes contact with his hot skin.
“Brett?” he groans and blinks his eyes open as he attempts to lift his head off the floor.
“Yeah, it’s me, but take it easy.” It’s hard to tell in nothing but the dim light of his flash light, but she’s pretty sure he has first and possibly second degree burns on the back of his neck. There’s also a deep cut on the side of his ear going from above one eyebrow to the top of his ear. And it’s oozing a significant amount of blood, nothing life threatening at the moment, but it’s also not good.
“I’m fine,” Kelly grunts and pushes her hand away from him as sits up and unbuckles the straps on his air tank.
“You don’t look fine,” Sylvie observes skeptically, but she’s too tired and her head hurts too much to put much effort into her argument. “You got a nasty cut on your head.”
He frowns and gingerly pokes at the side of his bloody head. “It’s just a scratch.”
“Severide can you please just let me look at it?” Sylvie requests. He’s probably a long ways off from passing out of blood loss but it’s better safe than sorry since they appear to be trapped and he’s the one who knows how to get them out.
He sighs and rolling his eyes hands her a flashlight so she can examine his injury better.
“We’re still in the elevator,” he comments as she scoots closer to him.
“We’re in the elevator?” she asks and looks at him in shock. She hadn’t really taken much time to examine her surroundings, but now that he says it… “What happened to the two victims?”
Severide ducks her gaze with a guilty expression. “They were still out there when the explosion happened.”
“You left them!?” Sylvie chokes in a mix of shock and anger. “Sev-”
“It wasn’t like that Brett,” Severide snaps interrupting. “I was the only one down here and the only way I was getting all three up was to put you guys on the elevator. I moved you first because you were the only one who didn’t have air. Then the gas blew.”
Sylvie sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose trying to stave off the pounding in her head; she feels bad for jumping down Kelly’s throat. She should’ve known he wouldn’t leave two victim’s on purpose- really she did know it. Everything is just so scrambled right now and her head feels like it’s going to explode.
“Sylvie, are you okay?” Severide asks with gentle concern and gives her shoulder a little reassuring squeeze.
“Yeah, I’m fine-”
“Lying to each other isn’t going to work, Brett,” he prompts.
“Fine, my head hurts and I feel like I just got crushed by 250 pounds of firefighter,” she says teasingly. She knows Kelly did what he had to, to protect her from the explosion and she’s grateful for it even if she still feels like a pancake.
Severide snorts and shakes his head. “I wasn’t about to let one of my paramedics get baked. Besides Casey would probably kill me if something happened to you.”
“And Stella’ll kill me if I let you bleed out from that head wound,” Sylvie replies and pulls out her pocket knife so she can cut off the long sleeves of her shirt. They’re not the ideal bandaging, but nothing about their situation is ideal and all her supplies are lost somewhere outside the elevator so her sleeves will have to work for now.
***
“You two need to take the next available ambulance to hospital,” Boden says, taking a second to divert his attention from the scene to Cruz and Gallo.
“No way, chief,” Cruz says standing up indignantly, his lieutenant and friends- members of his family are still down there beneath the rubble, and he’s not going anywhere until he knows they’re safe regardless of the pounding in his head and how muffled everything but the ringing in his ears is. Gallo doesn’t say anything to back him, just glances between the two of them looking really confused, and still dazed; Ritter taps him on the shoulder and shows him his phone screen, evidently typing out the conversation because after a second he looks up defiantly at Boden.
“I’m not going anywhere either!” He says a lot louder than he needs to.
“You’re both going to the hospital to get checked out, that’s an order!” Boden shouts, with a kind of foracicity that’s rare for him. “I don’t want to hear any more argument about it! Go with 57.”
“Yes chief,” Cruz mumbles and dips his head submissively before grabbing Gallo by the arm and pulling him up off the back bumper of 61. The truckie tries to pull back, but Cruz tightens his grip and tugs him along. He’s tempted to sneak off and help in the search behind Boden’s back, but if he does that Gallo will follow, and there’s no disputing that he needs to take a trip to the hospital to get his ears checked out.
They haven’t made it far before Gallo gets stumbly like he’s dizzy.
“Hey buddy, we’ll take it slow,” Cruz says comfortingly despite knowing the young firefighter can’t hear him, and puts one of Gallo’s arms over his shoulder to support him.
“Is my hearing going to come back?” Gallo asks, in a loud whisper.
Cruz looks him in the eyes and nods. He’s not really sure if it’s true, he hopes it is. He’d never admit out loud, but Gallo’s a damn good firefighter and a good kid with a bright future in the cfd ahead of him. It’d be awful if hearing loss got him booted. He wishes he could give Gallo more assurance than just the head because he doesn’t look convinced, but any words Cruz tries to say to him will be lost. He gives Gallo another nod yes, and then continues helping him toward the waiting ambulance.
***
“Damn it,” Stella hisses and throws down her halligan, it clatters loudly on the landing of the fifth sublevel, and Casey lifts his head from where he had it rested between his knees to squint at her.
“Should I repeat the speech you gave me?” he says dully, trying and failing to poke fun at her.
“No,” she replies in frustration and sinks to the dirty ground, leaning against the metal door blocked shut by debris.
“What’s eating you, Kidd?” Casey asks, leaning his head against the railing of the stairs.
“I didn’t tell him,” she says, tipping her head back against the cool door.
“Didn’t tell him what?” Casey questions lifting his head up to look at her better.
“My promotion came through and I didn’t Kelly. Which is kinda hypocritical, isn’t it? I’m always trying to get him to tell me stuff, and now I’m doing the same thing he used to do,” she replies sighing heavily. “And now we’re stuck down here, and he’s stuck down here and it’s all so messed up…”
“Your promotion came through?” Casey breathes, like he barely believes it. “Stella that’s great, you can tell Sev when we get out of here. He’ll be thrilled.”
“I don’t know if I’m going to take it,” Stella interrupts him and closes her eyes bracing herself for whatever speech her captain is about to give her. Gallo had a good point this morning. If she doesn’t want to be talked into taking it than that more than likely means she doesn’t want it, and shouldn’t take it.
“You don’t want to leave 51,” Casey says understandingly and rests his chin on his knees. He looks too tired for much speech giving.
“Yeah,” Stella says. 51 has become her family and she can’t even properly process the idea of not working there anymore.
“You haven’t told Sev because you don’t want him to talk into taking it,” Casey adds with a sigh.
“It’s stupid, right? I’ve worked so hard for this and now suddenly I’m thinking about turning it down,” she says in frustration.
“I don’t know, family’s family, Stella. But whatever you want, Kelly will back you. I know that much.”
“I was gonna tell him, you know? We just got this call before I could…”
“He’ll get it,” Casey mumbles and closes his eyes.
“Hey, how’s your head feeling?” Stella asks sitting up straight and examining Casey from where she’s sitting.
“Awful,” Casey mutters.
“We should keep moving,” Stella says. He seems to be getting more drowsy and they should keep moving so he doesn’t have the chance to sleep.
“In a couple minutes.”
“Now captain,” Stella insists and grabbing up her halligan she stands up. She offers Casey her hand. “Come on. Let’s go find our lost lovers.”
Casey cracks a dazed smile and takes her hand.
***
“Looks like we dropped,” Sylvie says, peeking out the hatch in the top of the elevator and scanning the shaft with Severide’s flashlight as she stands on his shoulders. The only number she can see is a six a couple feet above them which means they dropped three floors.
“What’s the closest floor?” Severide grunts through gritted teeth. Holding her up is probably more of a struggle than he’ll admit outloud.
“Six,” Sylvie reports. She can see the doors a couple feet above them.
“How high up is it?” Severide asks.
“Five or six feet,” she calls back.
“That’s doable,” he mumbles to himself like he’s calculating something in his head. “I’m bringing you back down.”
“I’m going to need a knee up from you,” Severide says as soon as Sylvie has her two feet back down on the elevator floor.
“You realize how crazy that sounds, right?” Sylvie asks, not entirely convinced he’s serious.
“Yeah, but I need to get up there,” Severide replies. “Well we both do. But I can’t reach that high without a boost and you can’t pull me up if I send you up first.”
“But you can pull me up,” Sylvie finishes for him. In theory it makes sense, but she’s not entirely sure she’s physically capable of hoisting him up.
“I don’t need much of a boost,” Severide says, eyeing the ceiling. For a guy who has the side of his head sliced open he’s very lively. “Just a push off your knee and then I should be able to reach and pull myself up.”
Sylvie’s not entirely convinced he can make it, but it’s their only option so they have to try.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure Brett,” Severide says encouragingly and gives her a little pat on the shoulder.
“How’s your head feeling?” Even in the dim light of the elevator she can make fresh blood dripping down the side of his face from under the makeshift bandage wrapped around his head.
“It’ll be fine,” Severide replies with a nonchalant shrug. “We’ll worry about it once we’re out of this elevator shaft, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” she agrees and getting down so she’s on one knee directly under the roof hatch. “Then let’s hurry up and get out of here.”
“You ready?”
“Ready,” Sylvie says, and grits her teeth as he puts his boot on her knee and pushes off. His weight is only there for a second and then he’s hanging in the air from the hole in the ceiling, he’s only there for a second before he pulls and wiggles his way up through the hole and disappears.
“Alright, hand me up my halligan,” he says poking his head back through the hole and reaching down to her with one arm. She picks up the heavy metal glorified crow bar and hands it up to him.
“Now it’s your turn.”
She reaches up with her hands and jumps, grabbing Severide’s hands before she falls back down, as she does the whole elevator groans and shifts like it’s about to fall.
“Severide…” Sylvie chokes questioningly, looking up into his face as he starts to pull her up.
“It’s fine, Brett,” he grunts, hauling her up through the hatch. “The elevator’s not going anywhere.”
“You seem pretty sure about that,” she pants as she flops down on the roof of the elevator roof next to Severide.
“As long as we get out of here quickly, we’ll be fine,” he says standing up and studying the door to the shaft next a couple feet above them.
“What if it falls?” she asks, unsure about the stability of the structure they’re standing on.
“We’ll be out of here before that happens,” he promises, but it sounds a little like he’s trying to convince more than just her. “I just gotta get that door open, which shouldn’t be too difficult.”
***
“Got it,” Severide says triumphantly and pushes his halligan down between the doors of the elevator to stop them from closing again. He knows this elevator predicament isn’t even half the struggle they have ahead of them, they still have six stories worth of rubble they have to make their way up, but he lets himself revel in the small victory a little.
Brett gives him a congratulatory pat on the back and a weak smile; he’s pretty sure she’s hurting more than she’s letting on which makes two of them. His head hurts and the burns under his coat are hurting a little more with each passing minute, but he’s gotta keep it together and get them out of this mess.
“Ladies first,” he says and intertwines his hands to make a step for the paramedic to give her a little boost up. She probably doesn’t really need it, but it’ll help her out and make it easier on her.
“Thanks Kelly,” she replies and steps into his hands and clammers through the elevator doors as he gives her a little push. Kelly pulls himself up after her and pulls the halligan free from the doors as he clears the door frame.
The air is thick and hazy with smoke and he can see the red flicker of fire coming from a couple places around them.
“How are we going to get out of this?” Sylvie breathes hopeless and glances over at him with scared blue eyes.
“One step at a time, Sylvie,” Kelly replies and tucks one arm around her shoulders to pull her into a reassuring hug. “We got this, okay? It’ll be a walk in the park.”
Brett lets out an amused snort and shakes her head, but doesn’t look encouraged.
“Come on, you were a farm kid. It’ll be like climbing around in a hay loft,” Kelly adds, trying to encourage her. “It’ll be fun.”
This time he gets a real smile out of her.
“See? You just gotta think of it as something less scary than it actually is. It won’t get in your head that way.”
“Do you realize how long it’s been since I climbed in a hay loft?” she asks.
“Isn’t that one of those things they say is like riding a bike?” Severide jokes.
“Guess we’ll find out,” Brett says through gritted teeth and puts on her determined face.
“Here, put this on,” Kelly says and plops his helmet down on top of Brett’s head. It’s a too big and falls over her face.
She pushes it back up with a grin on her face. “Does this make me a member of the squad?”
“An honorary one, sure,” Kelly says and adjusts the interior head band on the helmet so it will stay put on her head. “And put these on,” he adds, handing her his gloves. “There’s all kinds of stuff laying around you don’t need to be cutting your hands on.”
His gloves are absolutely too big for her, but there’s no adjusting them so they’ll have to do.
“Okay, let’s get out of this hell hole,” Sylvie says, slipping her hands into his gloves.
***
“Maybe there’s a way we could keep you at 51,” Casey says as they make their way further down the stairs. They’re almost to the sixth sublevel now and he’s not entirely sure he’s going to have the energy to climb back up through all the rubble when they finally figure a way out of the staircase. His head is pounding and the edges of his vision are getting blurry; on top of that his whole body is aching from the tumble down the stairs he and Stella took. He’s sure she’s hurting too, but she seems to be keeping it under wraps better than he is.
“If you’re suggesting I try to talk Herrmann into retiring, you hit your head harder than I thought you did,” Stella replies glancing over at him.
“That’s not what I was suggesting. I was just saying there might be someway, because believe me, nobody wants you to go anywhere, but you also shouldn’t pass up this amazing opportunity.”
“It’s a nice thought, but I don’t really see a way for me to stay and get my promotion,” she says as they both come to a stop on the landing of sixth sublevel.
“Frame’s bent,” Casey points out after briefly scanning the door.
“Yeah, but there’s nothing on the other side blocking it,” Stella says peaking through the window. “We might be able to bust it open.”
“It’s worth a shot.” Casey adjusts the grip on his halligan. Everything hurts and he’s sure that if not for the adrenaline pumping through his body and his need to find Brett he’d be passed out by now. They have to get through the door and they have to get back up to the third floor.
“Am I being a complete idiot for thinking about turning this promotion down?” Stella asks and slams her shoulder into the door in an attempt to bust it open.
“I don’t know, Kidd,” Casey says and moves to stand next to her so he can help try to force the door free. He doesn’t want Stella to transfer out, her loves her like family and 51 wouldn’t be the same without her. But it’s not his place to tell her that. Sometimes people just have to spread their wings and fly, and he doesn’t want to hinder that by telling her his feelings. “I guess, the way I see it is, are you going to regret it if you don’t take it.”
“You ready?”
“Ready.”
They both hit the door at the sametime and Casey can feel it give a little. He can also feel the jar sent up through his body that makes his vision go blurry for a second until he blinks his eyes clear again.
“I don’t know is the thing,” she says through gritted teeth and hits the door with the head of her halligan.
“You could always take it, and then when a position opens up at 51 transfer back,” Casey suggests. “Ready?”
“Ready,” They hit the door again and this time it screeches a little as it gives a little more. “I guess I could do that.”
“And it’s not like you’ll leave and never see us again.”
“It’ll just be weird being away from you guys is all.”
“Personally, making the switch to leader would probably be easier when you don’t know the crew. People don’t try to pull the friend card to get away with stuff. Like when I first made the switch to lieutenant me and Sev’s old buddy Darden was the worst about that kind of thing,” Casey says. Andy has always been a bit of a piece of work; he was a goof and one hell of a firefighter but he always had that little bit of bull headed defiance where he’d dive into any situation head first without much of a second thought. He was never unmanageable though, he just never quite got used to the idea of taking orders from his best friend and in the end it got him killed. Matt’s always wondered if it was someone else up on that ladder with Andy giving orders if he’d still be alive. “Besides, finding a new crew could be fun.”
Stella looks him in the eyes, but doesn’t say a word as she slams her foot into the door and forces it open. “Let’s go find Sylvie and Kelly.”
***
“I need a breather,” Sylvie huffs as Kelly helps her scramble up a leaned over pillar of concrete creating a kind of ramp to the next level of the parking garage. She doesn’t really need a breather, but she can tell he does and there’s no way he’s actually going to take one for himself. She wants to get out of this smokey and dusty air making her lungs burn and her chest tight, and she wants to stop feeling so trapped, but Severide needs a rest and the only way to get him to take one is for her to say she needs one.
“We can’t rest long, we gotta get out of this smoke,” he says, shining his flashlight around them. “And we’ve still got a good three or four stories to go.”
“I know, I just need a minute.”
“Hey, you’re doing great. At this rate we’ll be up and out in no time,” Severide promises and gives her a little pat on the shoulder.
“How's your head feeling?” she asks, from what she can tell there’s no fresh blood dripping down the side of the lieutenant’s head anymore, it’s all dry and crusty now.
“It’s still fine, Brett,” he replies.
“And you wouldn’t tell me if it wasn’t,” Sylvie says flattly.
“Bingo,” Severide chuckles with a playful wink. “You ready to get going again?”
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” she sighs. It’s probably best they hurry up and get out of here and get him up to the surface, then Stella can yell at him to take care of himself. Sylvie doesn’t have the energy right now.
They’re about to pick up and start moving again when Severide’s radio crackles and Casey’s voice sounds over it. ‘Does anyone copy’ is the only thing Sylvie gets from his transmission through all the static and popping, but he sounds exhausted and even a little scared.
“This is Severide, Casey I copy,” Severide says, clicking on his mic. “Casey can you hear me?”
“Sev-” is all they get in response before the radio cuts out again.
“Casey, we are on the 4th sublevel. I have Brett. Do you copy?” Severide says loudly.
“Below… stay put…”
“Case, repeat that,” Severide says looking to Brett in confusion. They get no reply. “Casey, do you copy?”’
There’s still nothing but static as they wait in silence for Casey to repeat himself.
“Damn concrete,” Severide spits angrily and slaps the ground. “Casey do you copy?”
“What did he mean ‘stay put’?” Brett asks, looking around them. They have to get out of here, staying put isn’t an option.
“I don’t know, I don’t even know if that’s what he said,” Severide replies in frustration. “We gotta get out of here.”
“But what if he did say to stay where we are? There could be a fire above us or something.”
She wants to get out of here, probably more than Severide does, but if Casey told them to stay where they are, he probably has a good reason.
“I’m not sitting around down here on my ass, Brett. We need to get out of here, and you need to get your lungs checked out because of all that gas you inhaled,” Severide says. “Now let’s get out of here.”
Sylvie decides not to argue with the squad lieutenant and follows him as he heads off into the darkness without another word.
***
“I’m sick of trying to get this damn thing to work,” Stella says and shoves her radio back into her radio pocket.
“Kidd, take a breath,” Casey says quietly and sits down on a piece of debris. His head is spinning and he’s not sure how much longer he’s going to be able to hold out. He hadn’t been able to make out much of what Severide said, but he got the part about him having Brett which means she’s safe. There’s no one better and more likely to get her out of this than Kelly.
Stella shakes her head and cups her hands around her mouth. “KELLY!”
“Kidd! Enough!” Casey snaps, her shout is the last straw. He can’t take it anymore; he feels like his head is about to explode. “He’s fine. Him and Brett will get out of here on their own. We just have to find our own way out. Okay? So please, quit yelling.”
Stella stops and her expression softens. “Casey, you don’t look so good.”
“I’ll be fine if you just take it down a notch,” Casey replies softly. He’s not sure if that’s true. He’s exhausted and now that he knows Brett is safe with Severide he’s not sure if he can still find the same drive to climb his way out of here.
***
“Joe!”
Joe flinches a little at the sound of his wife’s shrill worried cry as she comes through the doors of the hospital, eyes wide and scared.
“Chloe!” He calls and stands up to greet her.
“Joe, are you okay? I saw the collapse on the news and then the hospital called-”
“I’m fine,” he promises, interrupting her and wraps his wife in his arms. “I ruptured one of my ear drums, but other than that I’m fine.”
“You did what?!”
“It’s okay, the doctor said it’ll heal in a week or so. I’m okay, Chloe.”
“You promise?” she says and cups his cheeks in her soft hands.
“Yes,” Joe replies softly and grabs one of his wife’s small hands. “I promise
“Well you look like a mess,” she says scoldingly and brushes off the top of his head. She’s starting to relax a little. “What happened?”
“It was a gas leak, something sparked it and the whole place came down.”
“Is everyone okay?”
Cruz ducks his head. When he left Casey, Kidd, Severide, and Brett were all still down there and unaccounted for. He should’ve never let Severide keep going by himself.
“Oh baby…” Chloe breathes.
“Casey, Kidd, Severide and Brett were still missing when I left,” he mumbles, and keeps his gaze on the floor. He can’t lose any of them; he won’t be able to take it.
“Come here,” Chloe whispers and pulls him close to her, tucking his head into her shoulder. “They’re all tough, they’ll be okay. They’ll be okay.”
***
“Is there any word from the hospital on Gallo?” Ritter asks, taking a second to stop and talk to Boden. He knows the chief is very busy, but he at least has to try to get an update on his friend’s condition. He’d walked to the ambo himself, which is a good sign, but he looked like he’d been struggling.
“Yes, he’s going to be fine,” Boden says before returning his attention back to the radio and three in coming truck companies. Ritter turns away and leaves the chief to his business, that’s all he needed to hear, just a simple yes.
“Hey, Ritter, get over here!” Herrmann calls and waves him over to 51. “Grab a hose bundle. We’re heading to the delta side to help engine 18 knock down some flare ups they have over there.”
“You got it,” Gallo says and pulls a bundle off the engine. “Do you know what the word is on Captain Casey and them?”
“Yeah, squad 6 is coming to assist. Capp and Tony are planning on saddling up and going down with them,” Herrmann says, pulling his own pack of the truck. “Don’t worry about them. They’re nothin’ but a group of stubborn bastards. They’ll be fine.”
From the look of things Ritter isn’t so sure about that, but his lieutenant seems pretty sure of himself and not worried, so the best Darren can do is trust him. There’s not time to worry right now.
***
“I need a breather,” Sylvie pants and flops down on the hard ground. This time she needs it for herself. It feels like they’ve been going for hours, and the going has been slow and hard. She’s exhausted and everything hurts.
“Okay, take your time,” Severide replies and sits down next to her. He seems relieved that she’s asking for a break. “I’m going to try to get Casey on the radio again.”
“Okay,” she mumbles without picking herself up. She wishes Severide could just carry her the rest of the way out. They have at least two more floors to climb and then navigate their way out of whatever rubble is sitting on the surface.
“This is Severide, does anyone copy?” Kelly says, keying his radio.
“I read you Sev,” Comes a response from Casey. There’s a little static and interference, but for the most part the Captain’s transmission comes through loud and clear. Sylvie lets out a sigh of relief, it’s good to hear his voice again; he sounds exhausted, but he’s okay. “What floor are you on?”
“Probably two, but I’m not exactly sure.” Severide sounds so relieved. “Are you sending people down to find us?”
“Negative, me and Kidd are a floor below you. We can’t get contact with the surface.”
“What the hell are you doing below us?” Severide demands, losing his calm at the mention of Stella.
“We came to get you,” Casey replies. “Stay where you are so Kidd and I can catch up, and activate your pass.”
Severide lets out a frustrated sigh before replying to his friend. “Copy that Captain.”
***
Stella hears Kelly’s pass device long before she sees him, but when she finally gets eyes on him it’s like seeing him for the first time in what feels like forever. He’s banged up and looks exhausted, but he’s okay. He’s okay.
“I was so scared,” she breathes as they meet in the darkness of the parking garage.
“I know,” he whispers and wraps his arms around her. “I’m okay.”
“No more building collapses,” Stella says, resting her chin on Severide’s shoulder. It’s so good to have him back.
“I wish I had a say in the matter,” Kelly replies and pulls away from her. “Now we just need to get out of here.”
They both glance over at Casey and Brett who are still celebrating being reunited with a passionate kiss.
“Hey, love birds, we should probably get going,” Severide calls and throws a pebble at Casey’s head. Casey holds up his middle finger, and doesn’t stop kissing Brett. Stella can’t help but laugh at the shocked look that comes across Kelly’s face at being flipped off by Matt. For the first time since this whole mess started she doesn’t feel completely on edge. “I can’t believe you guys actually came down to get us.”
“We were heading down when the place went up,” Stella explains. “We knew there was no way you were getting three victims up by yourself.”
“You guys are crazy,” Kelly says shaking his head.
“That’s what love does to you,” Stella replies and gives him a quick kiss on the lip.
“Okay, we’re ready,” Casey says, finally breaking away from Brett. “Let’s get the hell out of this hellhole.”
***
“Have you heard any word from squad 6?” Ritter asks Mouch as he helps him set up the scene lights on 81; the sun is setting fast and they don’t long to get the lights on. It’s been well over an hour since the members of squad six and squad three went into the collapsed parking garage to look for the four missing firefighters from 51.
“Not as far as I’ve heard,” he replies glancing over his shoulder at the smoking mountain of rubble. “Radio contact is gonna be rough, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t hear anything until they come out.”
“How are you and Herrmann so calm about this?” Ritter finally asks as Mouch fires up the generator.
“We’ve been around a long time, kiddo,” Mouch replies and hooks his thumbs into his suspenders with satisfaction as the scene lights click on, lighting up the darkening air around them. “But don’t mistake our calm for not caring. It’s killing us not knowing as much as it’s killing you.”
“Hey! We’ve got movement near the entrance!” Herrmann shouts as he runs past Mouch and Ritter. Darren can hear the excitement in his lieutenant’s voice. “And chief’s got squad six on the radio! They’ve got our people!”
Ritter looks to Much half a second and then follows after his lieutenant; he can hear Mouch running after him. By the time they reach what used to be the entrance of the parking garage the members of squad six are already emerging from the rubble, Severide, Casey, Kidd, and Brett with them.
“Come’er you idiots,” Herrmann says lovingly and somehow manages to grab all four of them in the same hug. Darren joins them, relieved to see all four of them okay and in one relative piece; when Mouch catches up he joins in the hug. Herrmann is the first one to break from the group hug and shoos Mouch and Darren back a little. “Let’s get you guys to an ambulance.”
***
“Hey, you escaped the scene,” Casey says as Boden knocks on the door to his hospital room. Dr. Halstead had checked him for a concussion, which apparently does have, and then insisted he spend the night for observation. His head still hurts, but the fluids they have him are helping a little.
“The district chief took over the scene, and told me to come be with my people,” Boden replies, closing the door behind him.
“I may have gotten my bell rung pretty good, but I haven’t forgotten about our conversation this morning,” Casey says, holding his chief’s gaze. The man laughs nervously and nods his head.
“I didn’t think you would,” he says, a mix of amusement and sadness coming across his face.
“Come on chief, what’s eating you?” Casey presses.
“There’s a chief’s exam coming up in a couple months and I want you to take it,” Boden replies.
“And leave 51?” Casey asks. Being completely honest he thought it was a little crazy that Stella wanted to turn down her promotion to stay at 51, he understood it. It just seemed wrong, but now that he might be facing the exact same decision he’s pretty sure he’s about to do the same.
“No,” Boden replies calmly. “And take over 51.”
“What?”
“I’m not as young as I once was,” Boden says. “And I’m not getting any younger. I’m ready to retire, but I want to leave the house in good hands, and I know you’ll take care of it.”
Casey doesn’t even know what to say.
***
“Oh that’s gonna scar,” Stella says, slipping into Kelly’s exame room as April finishes giving him stitches. She didn’t really realize how big the cut in the side of his head was until now.
“Shut up,” he says flatley.
“No, it’s a clean cut, and I’m great at making my stitches pretty and neat,” April says, and starts wrapping his head. “You don’t have to worry about your pretty face.”
“I think it’d be hot,” Stella says with a shrug and plops herself down on the exam table next to him as the nurse finishes up.
“Dr. Choi wants to keep you overnight for observation. I’ll come back and get you when we have a room for you,” April says, getting ready to duck out of the room.
“Thanks April!” Kelly calls after as she closes the curtain behind her. “You were kidding about it scaring, right?”
“Your hair will cover most of it up,” Stella says lovingly and kisses him on the cheek.
“Hey, what’d you want to talk about earlier?” he asks, looking over at her.
“Oh.” She wasn’t really expecting to tell him about the promotion just yet, but she’s not going to lie to him, and she does need to tell him. “I got offered a lieutenant’s position at another house.”
Kelly raises both eyebrows in a mix of excitement and surprise. “Stella-”
“I don’t know if I’m going to take it,” she blurts, interrupting him.
“Of course you are! You worked so hard for this, and if you turn it down they’ll bump you to the bottom of the list,” Kelly says, looking more confused now.
“Kelly, I don’t want to leave 51. It’s my home, my family.”
The confusion leaves his face and he closes his mouth.
“And I haven’t made up my mind yet either.”
“Stella Kidd,” Kelly starts, and takes her hand in his. “You are the most deserving person in the world of this promotion, and I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. And whatever you decide I will still be proud of you.”
Stella smiles at him, and for the first time since getting that letter her insides don’t feel like they’re twisted up in nights. “Thank you Kelly.”
***
Two days later…
“Case that’s huge,” Kelly says, taking his cigar out of his mouth, Benny and Grissom had always wanted him to shoot for chief, but it was never something Kelly wanted or even something he could see himself doing. Casey on the other hand, Casey was born to be chief; he’s got the head for it and that little bone in him that can play politics. Kelly’s definitely with Boden, the best person to take over the house is Casey. “What’d you tell him?”
“Nothing,” Casey says staring out into space. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“You’ve gotta take it. You were born for the job, and there’s no one better out there to take over the house. You know how things work there,” Severide replies. “Tell me you haven’t ever thought about it?”
“I mean yeah, I’ve thought about it, but not in a way like it’s a reality,” Matt says and takes a puff of his cigar.
“Have you talked to Brett about it?” Kelly asks.
“Yeah, she thinks I should take it too.”
“She’s a wise woman, that one,” Kelly laughs
Casey sighs. “I kind of have to do this, don’t I?”
“Only a crazy person’d turn it down,” Kelly jokes and nudges his friend with his elbow. Having Casey as a chief would change things drastically, not just for the two of them, but for the whole house, but it’s better than having an outsider come in.
“Then maybe I will,” Casey snorts. “You seem to think I’m pretty crazy.”
“Case, I’m serious. You’d be a great chief, and do you really want someone coming in and taking over the house? Boden built the house to what it is today, and I think he always had one of us leading it some day as his end goal. We both know that was always gonna be you. He trusts you with everything he has worked to build,” Severide says firmly. “At least consider it, and consider what will happen if you don’t take his offer.”
Casey turns his gaze away from Kelly and stares out into the distance, deep in thought as he puts his cigar back in his mouth.
“And I’ll back you all the way,” Kelly adds.
***
“Chief, you have a second?” Boden looks up to see Casey poking his head into his office.
“Of course,” Wallace replies and stands up to greet the truck captain. He knows the chief pitch was a lot to throw at him, but he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t have absolutely faith in Casey’s ability to lead the house. There’s not a single better person he can think of to do it. Ever since Matt Casey was a probie Wallace had a feeling he’d one day grow to take his job.
“I’ve decided,” Casey says holding his gaze, the captain looks a little like he’s about to jump off a bridge. “I’m going to throw my hat in the ring for battalion chief.”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I wrote the thing. Meet pop punk trash Matt Casey, Andy Darden and Kelly Severide, using music to get their emotions out in a semi-healthy way.
“Matt, c’mon!” Matt Casey chased after his friends, the summer sun lowering in the sky. Andy and Kel were worming their way through the crowd, determined to get to the pit before the final set of the night kicked off. He caught up with them, trapped in the swarm of bodies as the music began, people writhing in time to the music. Blink had started their set, and the crowd was electric. He pushed and pulled with the crowd, never losing his step. It was twenty five minutes of joy and movement, and by the time it ended he was sweaty from the hot Chicago day as well as the crowd. He caught arms with his friends, linking up and walking to the exit via a hot dog stand.
@unmistakablyunknown, @kelly-severide (you both said you were interested so have fun enjoy?)
CF Fest Fic Claim (2)
Title: Trapped
Pairings: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: M
Word Count: 3754
Tags: Angst, Heavy Angst, Claustrophobia, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Ambigious/Open Ending
No other Content Warnings apply (honestly, it’s like you’re trying to tempt me!)
Summary: Harry was stuck in an enclosed space with no way to get out, and he just happened to have been stuck in there with Malfoy.
Author’s Notes: My betas @violetclarity and @drarryismymuse were so, so amazing and helpful! Also i’m aware that the anon who prompted this said...no unhappy endings, so it’s...not one?
♘ + dawsey
♘: cuddling in a blanket fort
It’s been a long shift by the time Matt comes home- he’s tired and sore, and just wants to sit down for more than ten minutes at a time.
He shuts the door behind him, then frowns when he doesn’t see anyone in the living room- he toes off his shoes and hangs up his coat before he heads down the hall. He stops at the sound of giggles coming from one of the bedrooms, lips pulling up into a small smile as he peeks his head around the doorframe.
Blankets are pulled over the bedposts and one of the kitchen chairs, creating a snug little blanket fort- at the sound of his footsteps, a tiny head pokes out and grins up at him.
“Daddy! Come in, Mommy and I made a fort,” Isabella Casey’s head disappears back inside the fort, and Matt sinks down to his knees, crawling in after her. Inside, Gabby is lying on her side, one hand under her head- she smiles at the sight of him.
“Isa’s a master fort builder. Must be her daddy’s genes coming through,” she teases as he settles beside her, brushing his lips over her gently. “How was shift?”
“Long. I’m glad to be home, with my girls,” he answers, brushing his nose over hers before he moves to his daughter, planting kisses all over her face and drawing giggles from her.
“Daddy- Daddy stop, I can’t breath!” she giggles, curling her knees up and rolling onto her side, brunette curls getting into her eyes.
Matt turns, flopping onto his back and gathering both of his girls into his arms; Gabby nuzzles into his neck, and Isabella presses her cheek to his shoulder. He closes his eyes, his long day pressing against him.
“Daddy’s gonna fall asleep,” Isa whispers loudly, and Gabby shushes her.
“Daddy’s had a long day. Go brush your teeth, baby girl,” he hears Gabby tell her, and Isa’s weight disappears- his wife snuggles closer, palm stroking over his chest. “C’mon, baby. I don’t think you want to sleep on our daughter’s floor.”
“Her construction work is impeccable. Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve slept in,” he answers sleepily, eyes remaining closed, and Gabby snorts, kissing his jaw.
“C’mon, Captain Casey. Up ‘n at em,” she nudges at him, and Matt shakes his head, wrapping his arms around her tightly, nuzzling into her hair.
“Five more minutes,” he says in a tone similar to Isa’s in the morning- Gabby laughs, but settles into his arms.
“Alright. Five more minutes.”
Drop Dead by Olivia Rodrigo has been stuck in my head this whole weekend so here’s snippet from “kiss me, and i might”, a Victory Tour one shot I’m working on for Everlark Week!
Heavy is the Head Chapter 5: To Family!
ao3 link
“Am I the only one who feels like it’s been years since we managed to have Christmas day off?” Mouch asks looking up from his newspaper. It seems like they always end up on shift Christmas day, and spend the day putting out fires caused by people over filling their turkey deep fryers or Christmas tree fires. He’s not even sure why people do live christmas trees anymore; they’re just a recipe for disaster.
“That’s because it has been years,” Herrmann says flatly, and sips his coffee. He always seems to get more grouchy around the holidays because he’d rather be home with his family than on shift. “A shift always manages to swing it perfectly so they get Thanksgiving, Christmas eve and christmas off.”
“But we have it off this year,” Nathan offers helpfully. “Today’s Christmas eve so…”
“There’s always time for things to go wrong, kid,” Herrmann says dubiously. “Just ask Mouch.”
“Yeah, it’s scary how often C shift calls in with food poisoning,” Mouch agrees. It’s always something with that group.
“I’m not covering them this year. I’m not doing it,” Herrmann says firmly. “I’ve missed too many Christmases.”
***
“You don’t look to good there, chief,” Sylvie says, stopping by Matt’s office; he has his elbows resting on his desk and his face buried in his hands. “Is meeting my family really making you that nervous?”
Casey groans in response and runs his hands through his hair before leaning back in his chair. “No- I mean yes I am nervous, I’m just trying to figure out how to break some really bad news.”
“Oh no…”
“I’m not sure how an entire shift gets food poisoning all at once but-”
“C shift managed it again?” Sylvie finishes for him, her heart sinking. She knows Casey isn’t going to make anyone pull over time to cover the shift, but she also knows he’s going to lead by example and stay on shift with whomever else decides to stay. Which means no Christmas dinner.
“Yep, and half the A shift guys booked it out of state after shift this morning,” Casey sighs and stands up. “We can do day after Christmas with your family.”
“Yeah, I’m sure they won’t mind,” she says, trying not to sound too disappointed. She’d been really looking forward to the idea of a nice quiet dinner with her family and Casey.
“Well, I better go break the bad news.”
***
“Okay guys, bad news-” Casey barely has the words out before there’s groans spreading across the entire common room.
“Don’t say it chief. Don’t do it!” Herrmann says, backing toward the door, like he can escape what’s about to be said.
“C shift has somehow managed to get food poisoning-”
“Has a doctor verified that? If not you should require doctor’s notes from the whole lot of them!” Herrmann cries, he’s always the most desperate not to spend Christmas on shift.
“I’m not going to make anyone stay and pull overtime that doesn’t want to. I’ll pull floaters to cover who ever leaves, but I’ll be staying,” Casey finishes.
And Cruz lets out an exasperated sigh. “Well we can’t exactly let you pull a christmas shift without us.”
“We don’t have any better plans,” Stella says, taking a swig of her coffee where she’s sitting with her legs propped up on Severide’s lap. The Squad lieutenant nods in agreement.
“Ahh, Trudy’ll flay me for it, but holiday overtime pay is good,” Mouch says, and settles a little deeper into the couch.
“It’s either hang out with this loser off shift or hang out with him on shift,” Gallo says and playfully ruffles Ritter’s hair. “Might as well be useful.”
“Aw come on!” Herrmann protests. “I can’t be the only one not staying!”
“Herrmann, if you want to go be with your family that’s perfectly okay. No one here’s going to judge you,” Casey says understandingly. Most of them don’t have family outside of 51 anyway, so they all’d end up hanging out with each other anyway.
“I’m not gonna be the only one who doesn’t stay,” Herrmann says angrily. Casey can practically see the smoke coming out of his ears. “Especially when Joe is missing Brian’s first Christmas. I’m staying.”
“You sure?”
“Don’t tempt me chief!”
“Okay, I won’t. And I’ll go let headquarters know we don’t need any floaters,” Casey says with a sigh. He hates that he had to ask them to do that. Even if they’d all end up hanging out with each other for Christmas, doing it not on shift is different than doing on shift. It’s more relaxing.
“Hey chief, can I duck off for about an hour?” Nathan asks, catching up to Casey as he retreats to his office. “I’ll keep my radio on and take my gear with me in case we get a call.”
Casey sighs, he’s not a big fan of letting people run off during shift, but he’s done his fair share of it in his day so he can’t exactly deny the candidate his request. “Yeah, just be back in an hour and make sure your lieutenant’s okay with it.”
“Yes sir, and you won’t regret it,” Nathan says and springs off to go do whatever it is he wants to do.
“That was lenient of you,” Sylvie comments.
“Yeah, well call it my Christmas present to the kid. He’s staying an extra 24 hours on shift,” Casey shrugs.
“And my family is about an hour away,” she adds with a smile and bumps his arm with her elbow.
“I thought they were going to come up when we could actually have a proper dinner.”
“They’re going to stay at my place until we get off. I think they’re planning on coming to visit the house,” she says.
“Are you sure you want them meeting everyone at once?” Casey snorts. He’s excited to meet her family, but meeting everyone at 51 can be a little much to take in all at once, especially when Herrmann has been thrown into full on grinch mode.
“Yeah, i think it’ll be fun,” Sylvie says confidently. “Don’t worry about it babe.” She plants a kiss on Matt’s cheek and then ducks off. “I gotta go do inventory.”
***
“Hey, Lieutenant, where’s our probie going?” Gallo asks as Nathan ducks out the back door.
“He’s running an errand and since we’re going to be here for two days I figured I’d let him,” Stella replies disinterestedly.
“Cool, can go run an errand too?” Gallo asks, prompting a glare from his lieutenant. “Kidding…”
“So what are we going to do for dinner tomorrow?” Ritter asks, spinning his chair around to face Gallo. “It’s too short notice to do a turkey, it won’t have time to thaw or anything.”
“Steak and potatoes?” Gallo suggests.
“We did that last year,” Herrmann says, instantly shooting down the idea.
“Shut up, you like steak and potatoes and you know it,” Cruz says, looking up from his magazine. “You get away with acting like the grinch every year, but this one. All your attitude does is make everyone else miserable.”
“Well maybe I was looking forward to spending the holiday with my family!” Herrmann retorts.
“And you don’t think I was too?” Cruz snaps back. “But I made my choice and so did you. The least you could do is try to not make everything so miserable.”
“I’m going to go do inventory,” Herrmann grumbles and excuses himself from the common room.
“This gonna be a long shift,” Gallo mutters under his breath. If everyone is already this snappy with each other it’s going to be bad by Christmas day, and only get worse.
“I’m going to go help him,” Ritter says and stands up to follow his lieutenant. “I’ll help you brainstorm Christmas dinner when we get done. And we’ll get Nathan to help us out too.”
“Sounds good,” Gallo says and gets up to find something to snack on. He’s pretty sure he’s the only one who doesn’t mind being on shift for Christmas, in fact he likes it. He likes being with his fire house family for the holiday, because when he’s not- when he’s at home alone all he ends up thinking about the family he lost and what he wouldn’t give to have one more Christmas with them, to watch his sister squeal for joy one last time…
***
“Hey Lieutenant,” Ritter says cautiously as he walks out onto the bay floor and approaches his lieutenant who is angrily making check marks on the inventory sheet and slamming compartment doors.
“What?” Herrmann snaps angrily, clearly displeased with the interruption.
“Are you okay?” Ritter tries, knowing it’s liable to get his head bitten off.
The lieutenant slams one of the compartments closed and turns to glare at him with a look that clearly says what do you think?
“Sorry,” Ritter mumbles and looks away. He wishes there were a way he could make the lieutenant feel better. He can’t count the amount of times Herrmann has picked him up off the floor and made him feel better, and he just wants to do the same for him.
Herrmann softens and lets his arms fall to his side, seeming to realize he snapped. “Sorry kiddo, I didn’t mean to get snappy with you. I’ll be fine.”
“But you’re not right now,” Ritter says looking back up at him.
Herrmann sighs and sets his clipboard down on the truck. “Just a little pissed. I’ll live though.”
Ritter nods. “I’m sorry you don’t get to go home and see your family.”
The lieutenant shrugs. “Cruz was right. I’m choosing to stay, so it’s no one’s fault but mine. Shouldn’t’a taken my anger out on you.”
“It’s okay lieutenant,” Ritter says, forgivingly.
“Nah, not really, but I appreciate that,” Herrmann says in a rare moment of tenderness, then shakes himself free of it and hands Ritter the clipboard. “Check stuff off as I call it off to you.”
“Yes, sir,” Ritter says, and help but smile at his lieutenant’s odd gruffness. It always kind of amuses him; he nevers stays soft and gentle for long before getting uncomfortable and reverting back to his default grouchiness.
***
“Truck 81, Squad 3, residential accident.”
“Finally, something to do,” Stella says and swingers her legs off Kelly’s lap that she was using as a footrest. Things have been a little down in the dumps since Casey gave them the bad news, and the atmosphere was just miserable to be around, so she’s glad for an escape from the melancholy mood and depressing hum drum that’s been dragging on for hours.
“Lieutenant, Marks isn’t back yet,” Gallo reports as he and Mouch meet her in the bay. And he seems slightly smug about it, like he’s been waiting for an excuse to bust the new guy’s balls about something. Gallo’s been nothing but welcoming to the new candidate, but she’s always kind of gotten the impression that he’s just waiting for the house’s golden child to trip up somewhere- and he is the golden child.
“Well we’re not waiting for him,” Stella says pulling herself up into the truck. They don’t have time, and he’s already late getting back from his one hour leave request.
***
“I told him not to try to move the bookshelf, I said there was no point in rearranging my whole house since he’d be leaving the day after Christmas, but he just had to go moving the damn thing, and then, big surprise, it fell on him!” the woman standing in the front door of the little yellow house they arrive at is hollering at them before Severide even has both feet on the ground.
“Cruz, you’re with me, Tony and Capp, stay behind, I’ll let you know what we need,” Severide says as he approaches the woman.
“What kind of shelf are you talking about here?” Stella asks, beating Severide to her by mere seconds, she has Gallo with her.
“I don’t know,” the woman says cluelessly. “A big one?”
It’s encouraging that she doesn’t seem super worried, there’s a good chance that means the scene inside isn’t that bad.
“I told you not to call the fire department!” they’re greeted with a not so friendly shout from the guy laying on the ground with the bookshelf tipped over on both of his legs. It’s not a ridiculously heavy or large shelf, and the man probably doesn’t have any broken bones, just bruises- it’s really something truck could’ve handled on their own, but Severide doesn’t mind being there. It’s something to do.
“Shut up! Are you ever not a dick? They’re here to help!” the woman snaps back.
“Well I don’t need it!” the man shouts back.
“Alright, how are you feeling?” Stella says squatting next to the guy.
“I’m fine, my bitch sister is just a drama queen.”
“Can you not be awful for five seconds!” the woman snaps at him angrily.
“Ma’am, we need you to back up and stop yelling at your brother, please,” Severide warns and pushes her back just a little.
“If i’m so awful then why do you always make me come up here to this horrible city!”
“I don’t! Mom does! If it were up to me I’d never look at your stupid face again!”
“Ma’am please,” Severide insists, patiently and pushes her back a little more.
“You’re legs don’t hurt or anything?” Stella asks, eyeing the shelf.
“How do you want to play this Lieutenant?” Severide asks, watching his girlfriend as she contemplates the shelf.
“The four of us can probably just pick it, and if he’s as fine as he says-”
“I’m not lying! I’m fine!” the man interrupts Stella.
“-than he can just pull himself free,” Stella finishes, and looks like she’s about 2 seconds from getting up and leaving the guy trapped under the bookshelf.
“I’m never coming back here,” the man grumbles as Stella gets up and gets in position on the book shelf to help lift it.
“Good-”
“Would you both please, shut. Up!” Cruz suddenly shouts, piping up for the first time, and sounds like he’s about to blow a gasket. “Just be grateful you get to spend time with your family for Christmas! At least pretend! Not everyone gets to spend christmas with their family, some of us have to work and help idiots like you guys!”
Severide lifts his eyebrows in surprise as the firefighter continues his rant.
“You people are lucky! Some of us would love to be home with their family, spending time with their son on his first christmas on the planet. But we don’t get to! So just shut up, and think about that!”
“Cruz-”
“Think about the sacrifices people are making-”
“Cruz!” Severide raises his voice, and cuts off the firefighter. He’s not angry with him, hell him yelling at these two idiots has worked to get them to stop talking, but he can’t have one of his firefighters chewing out a victim, even if it’s one who’s miserable to be around. “Go wait in the truck.”
“What?” Cruz demands, looking shocked.
“Go to the truck and take a breath. The three of us got this,” he repeats.
“But-”
“Go.”
“Yes sir.”
The woman watches Cruz go with her mouth hanging open, and her eyes wide. “The nerve-”
“Don’t,” Kelly warns, not about to tolerate some stranger trying to bad mouth Cruz, even if him yelling at her was out of line. He makes a mental note to talk to Cruz after the call. Nor to yell at him for his behavior, but because the guy’s been quiet the whole shift and is really seeming down.
***
“Cruz a word.”
Joe stops in his tracks at the sound of Severide’s voice behind him. The lieutenant doesn’t sound pissed, but he can still practically feel the talking to coming.
“Listen, lieutenant, I’m sorry but-”
“I’m not here to get on your case, Joe,” Severide says with a rare softness and understanding that takes Joe by surprise.
“O-oh, then what?”
“I wanted to check on you,” Severide replies, and Joe can see the concern on his face. “What you were saying on that call… you can take tomorrow off. Squad will be fine running as a three man.”
“That wouldn’t be fair,” Joe replies. If Herrmann isn’t going home to spend the holiday with his family, then he won’t either.
“It’s not fair that you have to cover for C shift because they all got food poisoning. It’s not fair that you have to be working for your son’s first Christmas,” Severide reasons. “If you want the shift off, it’s yours. You not being there isn’t fair to Chloe or Brian either.”
“I appreciate the offer lieutenant, but I can’t,” Joe says and turns to go. He wants nothing more than to go home and spend Christmas with Chloe and Brian, but he can’t make himself do it. Not while everyone else is staying behind. He signed up to be here. He chose it. He agreed to missing birthdays and first christmases, sporting events and school projects… It was never something he thought about as a younger single firefighter, and part of him wishes he had… not that it would’ve made him rethink becoming a firefighter. He might have just been able to prepare himself a little better.
“The job doesn’t always have to come first.” Severide’s words stop him. “We swore to serve this city, but sometimes it’s okay to do something for yourself.”
Joe smiles and look at him. “I know lieutenant, but I’m not going to leave while my crew stays behind and works just to make myself happy.”
“You’re a good man, Cruz.”
“You are too, Severide.”
“I don’t know about that, but it’s nice of you to say,” Severide says with a shrug. “If you change your mind, let me know.”
***
“I’ve got a gift for you,” Gallo says and pushes a mop and bucket toward Nathan as he comes out of the cold. “The lieutenant wants the bay mopped and then the trash changed.”
“What-” Nathan tries to protest. He’d been out trying to be helpful, and he’d had permission.
“You missed a run,” Gallo insists and pushes the mop into Nathan’s arms. “I don’t make the rules, but you shouldn’t have been late.”
“But-” Nathan makes a second attempt to argue and this time looks to Severide for help hoping the lieutenant will back him up.
“Don’t look at me kid, I’m not your boss, and as much as I hate to admit it, Gallo’s right,” Severide says with a shrug. “You’re best off to swallow it and just mop the floor.
“Yes, sir,” Nathan says ducking his head, and giving up on fighting his punishment. He’s got a lot of stuff to do before tomorrow, and now he also has chores to do as well so he’s going to have multitask to hard.
***
“So my family decided they aren’t actually going to stop by the station today,” Sylvie says coming into Casey’s office and plopping herself down on the couch without knocking. She sounds disappointed and upset.
“I’m really sorry, Sylvie,” Matt sighs, putting his paperwork aside to get up and sit next to her on the couch. “If you want take tomorrow off to spend time with your family while they’re here, you can. I’ll find you a floater-”
“Don’t even think about it, Matt,” Sylvie says and sits up. “I’m abandoning Mackey and letting her get stuck with someone awful like Ogle on Christmas.”
“Why’d they decide not to come visit?” Matt asks, resting one hand on her leg comfortingly. He can tell she’s putting on her “I’m trying my very best to be happy, but am actually super sad” face, and it hurts. He hates seeing her upset.
“They were tired after the drive, and didn’t feel like fighting city traffic to get here. Not that I can blame them,” she replies with a little shrug. “I get it.”
“Still sucks that you don’t get to see them until the day after Christmas,” Matt says, and wraps a comforting arm around her shoulders and pulls her close to him.
“It’s okay, it’s all part of the job. Besides, I have family here that I get to spend the holiday with,” Sylvie says quietly and leans her head against his chest.
Matt smiles and rests his chin on her head; she always sees the positive- the best in everything. He’s still not sure what he did to deserve her.
***
“Hey, Cruz you okay, buddy?” Herrmann asks, walking past the squad firefighter who’s sitting with his head rested on the table.
“I’m fine,” he says in an uncharacteristically standoffish tone.
“Listen, uh, sorry I was being such a downer earlier. This just sucks ya know?” Herrmann says, trying to cheer Cruz up at least a little bit. He knows what it’s like missing big important firsts with kids; he missed not only Lee Henry's first birthday but his first christmas too. Cindy had brought him up to the station for part of the day both times, but it’s not the same. “All this- I’m sorry you’re missing Brian’s first Christmas.”
Cruz lifts his head off the table and looks up at him with sad brown eyes. “I was really looking forward to it.”
“I know you were,” Herrmann says and sits down next to him. “And hey, I know what it’s like, and you tell yourself missing this stuff is what you signed up for when you took the job, but it really don’t help.”
“No,” Cruz agrees sadly.
Herrmann wishes there were more he could do for Joe to help him feel better about all this, but the truth is it sucks. “I know it’s not the same, but you can celebrate the day after. There’s always room for new traditions. And he’s too young to remember it so at least he won’t be bitter about it.”
Cruz snorts and smiles a little. “Always the optimist, huh Herrmy.”
“Eh, well, you know someone’s gotta be. And I’ve done enough being negative for one day.”
“Thanks buddy.”
***
“You okay, Kelly?” Stella asks and stops walking as she notices Severide standing looking at the wall of fallen heroes.
“I’m fine,” he says quietly, but doesn’t sound like it; he looks a little lost.
“Are you sure about that?” Stella asks and sidles up close to him, wrapping her arms around one of his. He’s looking at the picture of Shay.
He sighs and glances at her. “It just hits me sometimes, you know?”
Stella nods and leans her against his shoulder. She never had the pleasure of meeting Shay but from the little bit Kelly’s told her about her, they would’ve gotten along.
“I know,” Stella whispers. It’s been years since the paramedic died, but she knows Kelly is still feeling it at least a little. That’s why he went and stole the door off the old 61 when it got scrapped.
“She was my best friend. I could’ve spent the rest of my life with her,” He says softly and then cracks a smile. “She saved my sorry ass more times than I can count.”
“Sounds like me and her would’ve had something to bond over,” Stella replies and gives his hand a little squeeze.
He snorts, finding amusement in Stella’s comment and nods. “Yeah, yeah you would’ve.”
“Excuse me,” Stella pulls away from Kelly, startled by the unfamiliar voice drifting timidly toward them.
“Hey,” Stella says turning around to face the speaker who’s standing with a man who’s probably her husband and a younger guy- a son maybe. “What can I do for you?”
“We’re looking Sylvie,” the older man says.
“Oh, um…” Stella glances at Kelly who gives a little shrug that says ‘how the hell should I know where she is?’. “She might be-” She catches sight of Mackey walking out toward the bay. “Hey, Mackey, where’s Brett?”
The paramedic pauses for a second. “I think she’s in the chief’s office.”
“Thanks,” Stella calls to her before turning her attention back to the family standing in front of her. “So she’s apparently in with the chief at the moment, not exactly sure why, but I can give her a message or you guys can leave contact info so we can let you know when she’s not busy.”
“Oh, we can come back. She had just said she wanted us to come by and meet everyone-”
“Woah, wait, are you guys her family?” Stella says, connecting the dots.
“Yes,” the woman laughs.
“Oh! Welcome to 51!” Stella cries, dropping her formality. “You guys can go in there and start meeting everyone. I’ll go get her-”
“She’s not busy?”
“No, it’s fine. The chief’ll wanna meet you guys too,” Stella replies waving off the notion. She’s entirely Sylvie’s told them that she’s dating the chief.
***
Sylvie can feel the nervous energy coming off Matt as they walk to the common room; it’s a little funny. She’s never seen him like this.
“Matt, it’ll be fine. They’ll like you. I promise,” she reasures him just before they walk into the common room.
“Sylvie! Hi sweetie!” Her mom cries as soon as she sets eyes on her and pulls her into a tight hug. It feels like forever since she’s got one of those hugs, and she didn’t even realize how much she missed it until now.
“Hi mom,” Sylvie mumbles, she wants to stay like forever, but she pulls away anyway. “Um, this is Matt, and it looks like you guys met everyone else.”
“I’m so happy to finally be meeting you, Matt!” her mom says enthusiastically and shakes his hand that he has extended out to her. “I’m Jan, and this my husband Craig.”
“Good to meet you sir,” Casey says politely and shakes her dad’s hand. Her dad gives Matt a small head nod, that says he approves; Matt’s the first person to have ever gotten that head nod on a first meeting.
“I’m Daniel,” her brother speaks up and takes his turn shaking Matt’s hand. In most families, it’s the dad’s approval you have to worry about, and while her dad definitely isn’t a quick sell, her brother is probably the hardest to impress. He’s younger than her, but he’s always been protective like a big brother.
“We brought you all some pizza,” Sylvie’s mother says and points to the stack of boxes sitting on the counter. “I know it’s not four course christmas meal or anything, but we thought you guys might enjoy it. Sylvie told us you guys are all pulling a long shift.”
***
“Nobody here is going to complain about pizza, you’d be amazed how quickly one of those things will disappear around here,” Stella says inviting herself into the conversation and grabbing four slices out of the box.
“Some of those better be for Severide,” Casey warns, knowing full well she’s more than capable of downing four slices.
The truck lieutenant stops like a deer caught in headlights, she was definitely taking all those slices for herself. “Yes chief… definitely. Takin’ em to Severide…”
Casey rolls his eyes. “As you can see we eat more than you might expect.”
Jan laughs at this comment, and Casey feels a small amount of success that he got one of his future in laws to laugh.
“Between Craig, Daniel, Sylvie and I, believe me, this family knows how to put away a couple boxes too. I’m no stranger to hollow legs,” she replies, clearly amused by what a hit the pizza is.
“Thank you Missus Brett,” Mouch says, being the first to show some real manners as he takes two slices. “But I’ve got to warn you, most of us here have two hollow legs and at least an arm. There can never be too much food, especially when it’s food like this. And it’s a pleasure to meet you, by the way. You did a fine job raising that young lady.”
“It’s our pleasure!” Jan replies with a pleasant smile.
“Randell Mcholand, by the way,” Mouch says, seeming to remember to introduce himself. “Everyone here calls me Mouch though.”
“And why is that?” Jan asks innocently.
“Well you see…”
***
“What do you think the probie’s up to?” Ritter asks as he comes up to Gallo. Gallo’s been acting distant and spacey all shift, and he’s about 90% sure that it has to do with the holiday and missing his family. But Nathan has been acting weird and secretive as well, and that can’t go unnoticed, it might even provide a good distraction for Gallo.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out,” Gallo says looking out the window to the bay where Nathan is pacing back and forth talking on the phone. “This is the fourth phone call he’s made today.”
“You wanna ask him about it?” Ritter asks, hoping Gallo will tag along. He’s not one for mischief or messing with the new guy, but he knows Gallo is, and he knows it’ll cheer him up.
“I don’t think he’d tell us,” Gallo says squinting out the window.
“What are you two idiots up to?” Mackey asks, and pushes her way between them.
“We’re trying to figure out what the candidate is up to,” Ritter answers and watches the kid pace back and forth talking on the phone. He is a little curious.
“Did you try asking him?” She asks skeptically.
“He wouldn’t tell us,” Gallo says confidently, seeming to get a little more invested in the idea of figuring this out.
“Maybe,” Mackey says with a shrug and heads to the bay doors.
“Where are you going?” Gallo protests.
“To ask him,” she says disappearing through the doors.
“Should we follow her?” Ritter asks.
“No, We’ll watch from here,” Gallo replies as Mackey approaches Nathan and greets him. They exchange a few words that Ritter can’t make out and then Mackey smiles and heads back to the door.
“Well???” Ritter and Gallo both say in unison as she walks back into the hallway.
“Well what?”
“What did he say?”
“Sorry boys, it’s top secret,” she says with a coy smile and heads into the common room.
***
12 hours later...
Engine 51, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3, house fire, smoke showing.”
“What a way to start off Christmas morning,” Mouch grumbles and hauls himself off the couch. Calls on Christmas are always the worst, they’re to be expected on Christmas eve, but Christmas Day? They suck. Always. Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, not emergencies and fires and misery and heartbreak.
“Marks, we need a man behind today, you’re it.” Stella asks, stopping the young recruit before he can get on the truck. Mouch is pretty sure the kid’s still getting punished for missing the truck the day before.
“Please no lieutenant,” Nathan pleads desperately. Mouch can see him die on the inside.
“You have the least experience. You’re staying.” Kidd says with more force this time.
“Yes lieutenant.”
“We’re really riding short handed again?” Mouch questions, swinging up into the truck. It seems like a risky move.
“Yes,” Stella replies shortly. “Now roll us out of here.”
“Yes ma’am,” Mouch says and gives her a playful solute before turning the key and bringing the truck roaring to life.
“I’m not going to complain,” Gallo jokes and stretches himself out in the back. “There’s more space back here when it’s just me.”
“Maybe next time I’ll make you be the man behind,” Stella says flatley, promptly shutting Gallo up.
***
“The tree just went up! The whole living room-” a woman with a smoke stained face is crying frantically to Casey before he even has his white helmet mounted on his head. He’s first on scene even after doing his 360 check around the house, but he can see the trucks coming down the street. “My husband went back for the kids!”
Casey grits his teeth. Christmas trees always go from zero to a hundred in a matter of seconds. It takes a matter of minutes for them to fully engulf a room. “It’ll be okay Ma’am. How many kids do you have?”
“Two,” she sobs helplessly, gripping Casey with desperate hands. “They sleep on the top floor.”
“Unit’s be advised, we have three confirmed rescues, all possibly on the second floor, and safety bars on all first floor windows,” Casey says into his radio as the trucks pull into place by the house. It’s only a matter of seconds after that the everyone is piling out of the trucks. “Squad 3 I want you guys on search, 51 you’re interior attack and cover for squad. This is gonna be a hot one, started with a christmas tree.”
“You got it chief,” Herrmann says energetically. “Ritter, pull the inch and three quarters.”
“Where do you want us?” Stella asks, approaching Casey. He can see she’s ready to jump in there, but that’s not a truck's job today.
“You guys are RIT,” Casey says.
“Chief-”
“That’s an order lieutenant,” Casey says firmly and turns his attention back to the structure that’s already belching dark smoke into the late morning sky as Squad and 51 make entry through the front door. He can feel the heat coming off the house just from where he’s standing. It’ll be a miracle if the family makes it out alive.
“Gallo, get the K-12 and start cutting the safety bars off the windows,” Stella orders walking back toward her crew. Casey knows being stuck on RIT sucks, but he’s glad to see she’s taking a proactive approach to it. “Mouch, me and you are going to put ladders on every second story window up there in case our guys need to bail out.”
“Battalion 25 chief to main, requesting a second engine company and two more ambos to my location,” Casey says into his radio as he waves Brett and Mackey over to check out the woman coughing in his arms.
“Acknowledged Battalion 25.”
He can tell just from looking at this one that it’s going to be an all dayer.
“It’s rolling pretty bad in here,” Severide’s voice crackles over the radio, making Casey shift nervously. The place looks like it could flash over at any second.
“You guys have one minute and then I want you out,” Casey replies, judging the smoke. A minute seems generous but there are three victims inside.
“Chief, we got the family and are coming out,” Severide reports no more than 30 seconds later, and Casey allows himself a small sigh of relief. They’re not out yet, but just the fact that they were able to find the family so quick seems like an act of God.
Squad 3 and 51 exit the structure with the father and two kids with them just as engine 91 rolls onto the scene to assist with fire suppression. The mother breaks off at a run from 61 to go to the family.
“Case, that was crazy,” Severide laughs, making a b-line toward Casey. The dad and two kids look relatively unschathed. “Like Christmas miracle crazy.”
“What do you mean?” Casey asks as the lieutenant reaches him.
“I mean I’ve never seen fire do what that fire just did,” Severide replies with a smile that only comes along when he’s coming down from inhuman amounts of adrenaline. “The dad and kids were in a stairwell that was somehow mostly clear of smoke- like the whole place was rolling and then I don’t know what happened. As we were coming out our path out cleared.”
“Don’t pull my leg, Sev,” Casey scoffs. He’s heard more than his fair share of crazy stories about fire doing crazy unexpected things, but he was never sure any of them were true, this one especially.
“I couldn’t make it up even if I tried. You should’ve been in there.” Severide laughs, and heads off to find Stella. It’s a simple off handed remark, one that probably shouldn’t even be taken right down to the letter, but it still hits Casey in a weird way. He hadn’t really thought about that kind of thing when he took the chief position- the impact it might have on Severide and even everyone else, that they might miss making entry with him. He can’t help but wonder if Severide didn’t actually mean it a little bit: he should’ve been in there.
***
Even the squad stays and helps with knocking the fire out; Herrmann can’t remember the last time he saw Severide pick up a hose line and use it, but he’s there right alongside everyone else helping throw water at what’s become a glorified bonfire. Casey ordered everyone out of the house and it’s all strictly defensive exterior fire attack now. The fire’s big, the people are all out safely, and it’s christmas. There’s no reason to be risking anyone's lives by doing interior attack. Even truck has been called off from venting. The only job now is to drown the damn thing, and with two engines and the combined force of all the companies they might actually get back to the station on time to have a decent dinner.
***
“You guys smell that?” Cruz asks, stepping off the truck, and peeling off his bunker gear as he sniffs the air. There’s the usual smells of diesel, floor cleaner, and the bitter smell of structure fire that makes his nostrils burn coming from everyone’s gear; the fire was a big nasty one with a lot of black smoke and nasty stuff. He’s pretty sure the house will be smelling like it for weeks if not months, and he’s also pretty sure the smell will be stuck in his nostrils for a long time, but there’s something else in the air too- something good. Something warm and inviting.
Mouch frowns and sniffs too. “Smells like turkey… and other stuff, but there’s no way Marks could make a turkey in the two hours it took us to take care of that garage fire.”
“Well it sure smells like he did,” Herrmann say, and leads the charge through the double doors leading inside. Everyone shrugs to each other and follows him inside.
Cruz nearly runs into the engine lieutenants as he stops right in front of him in the doorway of the common room. He barely has time to register why Herrmann has stopped when a shout rings out from the people gathered inside-
“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” -it’s everyone- Chloe is there with Brian, Trudy, Boden, Donna, little Terrance, Cindy and all of Herrmann’s kids- even Brett’s family is there, along with Kylie who was under strict orders from Casey and Stella not to work on the holidays. He can barely believe it, and the joy swelling up inside of him as he makes eye contact with Chloe from across the room as she cradles their son in her arms- it’s the greatest gift he could ever recieve on Christmas.
Nathan is sitting on the counter grinning from ear to ear. He’s just made everyone’s day or possibly even everyone’s year and he knows it.
“I can’t believe you guys are here!” Joe cries and rushes over to his wife and son, wrapping them in a big hug. “I can’t believe it!”
“Of course we’re here, baby!” Chloe laughs, and kisses him.
***
“Candidate, what did you do?” Casey laughs and walks up to the house’s newest member. He could practically feel the whole house’s moral jump from zero to 60 as soon as they walked in the room. He’d known the candidate was up to something, but he never expected this- everyone’s here.
“I just pitched the idea to a good old retired chief,” Nathan replies. “He was the one who knew how to contact people.”
“Don’t let him give me all the credit,” Boden says sternly with a rare smile on his face. “He planned everything. I just made phone calls. But we should probably eat all this food.”
He gestures to the various platters of food sitting on the counters and tables.
“I second that,” Casey says and looks around at everyone already mingling with their loved ones.
“Alright, everyone listen up!” Boden announces loudly, silencing the room and demanding it’s full attention in a way Casey still hasn’t been able to master. “We’ll eat in just a minute, but first Nathan here gets to say some stuff because all this was his idea.”
Nathan looks a little taken by surprise, but doesn’t blanch at the sudden shift of attention on him.
“Um, I’ll make this quick because we all know how things go around here, but about 10 year ago Kelly- lieutenant Severide saved my life and ever since then this house has become like family. I haven’t been here long, but I know you all see each other as family and even your family’s outside 51 are family to each other- and family should be together on Christmas! Now lets eat before the tones drop!”
“Here here!” Herrman says, prompting everyone else to do the same. He’s the happiest Casey has seen him since this 48 hour shift started. “To family!”
***
“So, have you guys thought about tying the knot?” Sylvie’s mother asks, part of the way through dinner, and Casey nearly blows coffee out of his nose.
“Mom!” Sylvie scolds. Casey had a feeling this would be coming up, her mother seems like the kind of mom who would ask about it, but he just hadn’t expected it while eating dinner with the entire house present.
“You know what they say, Sylvie. Three times is the charm,” Daniel adds, and there’s a hint of disapproval in his tone.
“We want to make sure we’re both good and ready before we go down that road,” Sylvie says and looks over at him. “We’re taking it slow.”
“Right,” Casey says through a cough, and blinks his eyes as they start to water from him almost choking. He’s kind of grateful pretty much everyone else is too involved in their own conversation to have really heard the question. He does want to marry Sylvie. He’s sure of that much, and he’s even pretty sure Sylvie would say yes if he asked, but he’s not sure if he’s ready… Ready to put himself out there again, ready to try to start a family again, ready to open himself up to hurt again. And frankly he’s not sure if she’s ready either. She had her fair share of failed relationships as well.
“You know what that’s code for, right,” Severide whispers, leaning close to him so no else can hear him. “She wants you to ask.”
“Shut up Sev,” Casey hisses under his breath. “You’ve been beating around the bush Kidd way longer.”
Severide gulps awkwardly and scoots away from Casey in a hasty retreat. Matt gets it though. He knows Kelly would die for Stella, the same way he himself would die for Sylvie, but the Squad lieutenant has also had his fair share of heartbreak and betrayal. He’s scared, though he’d never admit it outloud, and Casey can’t blame him. People tend to look at Severide and his past actions and see someone afraid of commitment, someone like Benny, but that’s not Kelly. He’s one of the most committed people Matt’s ever met, he’s simply scared of heartbreak.
“Well, I guess it’s good to make sure you’re both ready,” Sylvie’s mother says before taking a bite of mashed potatoes, but Casey catches her undertone that clearly says, ‘ask my daughter to marry you already.’ Matt sighs. It could be worse though, Sylvie’s parents could hate him and be gunning for them to break up… he’s not entirely sure her dad likes him, but that kind of goes with dad territory.
***
“Hey, you did good with this, kiddo,” Kelly says and bumps Nathan on the shoulder gently with his fist as he comes to get a second round of food. There’s a proud look in the lieutenant’s eyes, and he’s smiling bigger than Nathan’s used to seeing from him.
“I didn’t do much,” he shrugs.
“Don’t undersell yourself, kid,” The squad lieutenant says and glances over his shoulder at the group of firefighters mingling with their families, and a fond loving smile drifts across his face. It’s a rare kind of smile, and not just coming from Kelly, but anyone. It’s soft and gentle, fond and loving, and content. This is Severide’s family, and he loves them. “This is the happiest any of us have been on Christmas in a long time, and you made it happen.”
“It’s what they deserve,” Nathan says simply. He didn’t do it for cool points or to in anyone good graces. He did it for the crew that saved him, the crew that protected the neighborhood he grew up in, the crew that built his school a library, the crew that took care of him… the crew that’s now his family, he did it for them because no matter how hard he tries he’ll never be able to thank them enough.
Severide looks at him with a mix of pride and fatherly love and smiles a warm smile. “The future of this house is in good hands.”
It seems to make perfect to Severide to say this, but it takes Nathan by surprise. He’s never thought of himself of being the future of the house, he’s just here to work and learn and help people and repay everything this house did for him. He also never really thought about how Severide might be worried about something like leaving the house in good hands, to Nathan he’s this unstoppable force welded into the fibers of 51 that can’t ever leave. He hasn’t been here long, but he can’t picture the house without Severide. He can’t even picture being a senior firefighter. The future is so big, none of it seems real- the only thing that seems real is the present.
He’s about to say something to the lieutenant that saved his life and gave it purpose, but before he can even open his mouth the tones sound prompting a groan from everyone in the room. It’s time for them to go back to work, to answer the call.
Heavy is the Head Chapter 5: Fight This
ao3 link
“This isn’t going away, is it?” Kelly asks and slips into Casey’s office as the group of white shirts file out.
“The guy is serious about his complaint about Kidd botching that rescue,” Casey replies, letting his gaze linger on the chiefs as they make their way through the bullpen.”It’s not going away and it’s looking pretty serious too. He’s hired lawyers and everything.”
“Serious how?” Kelly asks and closes the door. “What’s she looking at with this?”
When Casey had told him and Stella this was a possibility it had all just been rumor, nothing more than the guy she saved swearing that he was going to have her rank if not her job. Now it’s escalated to official accusations and lawyers, and the worst part Stella seems to not even care.
“Demotion at best. The guy is claiming she’s too incompitent to lead.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Severide spits angrily. She did exactly what the rest of them would’ve done; he feels bad for the guy who lost his daughter but it’s in no way Stella’s fault. She did everything she could.
“I know,” Casey agrees, shaking his head.
“The white shirts have to know that,” Severide declares loudly, pacing back and forth across Casey’s office. “They can’t be taking this seriously.”
“They do, but they have to take it seriously,” Casey replies, leaning against his desk. “But that’s not what concerns me. What concerns me is Stella.”
“What about her?” Severide demands and stops pacing.
“She doesn’t seem worried,” Casey says with a sigh and folds his arms over his chest.
“She’s not a worrier, Case,” Severide says defensively, but he’s right. When he first told them this could be happening she didn’t even seem a little worried that someone might be coming for her rank.
“I know, but you don’t think there’s something else going on?” Casey asks.
Severide frowns. “I don’t know. It’s been hard to get a read on her since she got back from that call.”
“Did you guys talk about it?” Casey asks, taking on a concerned expression.
“A little bit, but I didn’t push it,” Severide replies; he’s beginning to wonder if maybe he should’ve.
***
“So what are you going to do?” Sylvie asks, sipping her coffee and looking over at Stella.
“I don’t know, Brett,” Stella replies, not looking over at her friend. People can tell her a hundred times over she made the right call that night, but there’s a girl dead. A girl who was counting on her to save her, and Stella failed her. She failed her and her father; the truth of the matter is she’s not even mad at the guy for coming for her rank. There’s a part of her that feels like she deserves it or that it’s the right thing. She made a mistake and it cost someone their life, and she’s not sure how to start processing it. Helping people is in her instincts, it’s where her heart pulls, and if she can’t do that as a lieutenant, if she can’t make the right calls, then maybe she shouldn’t be one. Maybe that will help people in the future.
“Hey guys!”
“Oh hey Chloe!” Stella says and stands up where she and Sylvie are sitting on the top of 81 to wave to Cruz’s wife; she has Brian with her in a baby carrier. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m here to drop off Brian,” Chloe replies with pursed lips as Stella climbs down from the roof of the truck, Brett following her. “I have an appointment I forgot about and I don’t want to take him in with me, and the baby siter-”
“Say no more!” Stella says, guiding the mother toward the doors leading inside. She’s grateful for the distraction even if it’s only a brief. “We’ll-”
“Truck 81, lift assist.”
“Oh, duty calls, gotta run,” she says and ducks off toward the truck. Her chest feels unnaturally tight and it takes a second for her to remind herself to breathe. It’s just a lift assist. She can do that.
***
Sylvie frowns as she watches her friend climb onto 81, there’s something she’s not telling her, some feeling she’s keeping to herself. Something that’s eating at her.
“Here, I’ll take you inside,” Sylvie offers, and finishes guiding Chloe inside as 81 pulls out of the station, sirens blaring.
“Is Stella okay?” Chloe asks, glancing at the truck as they slip through the doors.
“She had a rough call the other night, and it’s gotten a little complicated,” Sylvie explains. “But she’ll be okay.”
Sylvie decides that Stella will be okay, she’ll make sure she is. She’ll make sure the truck lieutenant, her best friend, knows she did the right thing and that she’ll be okay.
“Chloe!” Joe rejoices at the sight of his wife as he runs over to meet her. “And my favorite baby! No offence Capp.”
“Hey!” Capp protests as Tony and Severide both struggle to contain snorts of amusement at the insult that flew so naturally.
“Come to daddy!” Cruz says and undoes the straps holding Brian in his carrier. He scoops the boy out and holds him. “So big!”
“What is going on?” A silence falls over the room as Casey comes in with his hands on his hips. He looks pissed, not necessarily about there being a baby in his station, he just seems to be having a bad day and this is adding to it.
“Chloe has an appointment so I said I’d watch Brian here for her. We don’t want him picking up any germs or anything-”
“And what if we get a call?” Casey demands, Cruz looks both hurt and surprised. “Who’s going to watch him then? You should’ve checked with me first, or gotten a babysitter.”
“I’m sorry Captain I thought it’d be okay…”
Sylvie catches a very brief yet meaningful exchange of looks between Severide and the chief, and Casey softens.
“It’s fine, just… don’t let Tuesday eat him or anything,” Casey sighs and shaking his head, leaves the room.
Severide gets up and follows him. Sylvie is about to go after the squad lieutenant but he gives her a little wave that says he’s got it.
“I can take him with me if you’re going to get in trouble with Casey,” Chloe says hesitantly, glancing around the room. “I didn’t realize it’d be an inconvenience.”
“Nonsense, there’s just a lot going on with Casey right now,” Sylvie assures her. “We’ll take good care of Brian.”
“Yeah, we’ll let him climb the ariel,” Cruz says, cradling his son close. “Does he want to do that?”
“And I won’t let them do anything stupid,” Sylvie adds, as she and Chloe laugh at Cruz’s comment that could only be construde as a joke.
***
“Casey, what was that?” Severide asks following the chief into his office. They’re both stressed right now, but he’d come down on Cruz pretty hard, especially since it’s more than normal for Chloe to bring Brian to the house. They’re family.
“Don’t start Severide,” Casey says shortly.
“I’m not trying to start anything, Case. I'm concerned. I know you're stressed but what are you laying into Cruz like that for?” Severide says defensively. He’s beginning to second guess his decision to follow Casey into his office. Right now it seems a little like he’s decided to follow a hungry bear into its den.
“You ever feel like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew?” Casey sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustrated exhaustion.
“Yeah,” Kelly replies. With this conversationI he adds silently in his head.
“I don’t know how Boden did this. I’ve been chief for a couple weeks and everything’s gone to hell,” Casey huffs eyeing the mountain of paperwork on his desk.
“You’re having second thoughts?” Severide asks, raising both eyebrows. This is the third time Casey’s been promoted since Kelly’s known him. Each of the previous times he’s had his rough patches getting started, but he never once considered quitting or regretted his choice to accept the promotion
“Yes- no- I don’t know!” Casey cries and throws his arms in the air. “I feel like I’m juggling a million things, and none of them are getting my attention or the attention they need.”
“Well you gotta get it figured out man, or the house is going to start feeling it,” Kelly replies.
“That’s really not helpful.”
Severide is about to open his mouth to defend himself but is interrupted by the bell.
“Squad 3, engine 51, additional resource request. Structure fire.”
“I’ll be back,” Severide says as he heads for the door.
“Don’t bother,” Casey mutters.
“Come on chief-”
“You have a call, Lieutenant.”
“Yes sir.”
***
“And what could be through this door?”
Casey looks up at the sound of Brett’s soft playful voice and sees her poking her head around the door frame with Brian in her arms.
“It’s the big grumpy chief,” she whispers and sticks her bottom lip out at Casey when she sees him looking at her.
Casey sighs and leans back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap. “I was a dick-”
“Not in front of the baby!” Sylvie scolds, standing upright and walking into the room, bouncing the baby on her hip. It looks so natural, like it’s second nature to her. Matt thinks he’d be the luckiest man alive if she’d one day do that with their kid. “What are you smiling at?”
“Nothing,” he says, and gives his head a little shake, but the daydream lingers. He wants to marry her.
“And yes you were, by the way,” she adds, but it’s accompanied by a loving smile.
Matt snorts in amusement. She’s definitely right, Cruz and Chloe didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his frustration, and he really feels bad about it. Brian will always be welcome in this house, even on day’s when Matt’s feeling stressed out of his mind.
“Severide seems to agree,” Casey mutters.
“Matt, talk to me,” Sylvie says and sits down in one of the chairs in front of his desk.
“I feel like I’m drowning,” Casey admits, like he’s trapped in heavy wet bunker gear that’s dragging him to the bottom of Lake Michigan. “I’m trying to juggle a hundred different things, and I’m also trying to stop Stella from getting dragged down by this mess with that call, because she isn’t, but I got nothing. I’ve been chief for all of like two weeks so I don’t even have any favors I can pull.”
“Have you thought about calling Boden?” Sylvie asks, picking Brian up so he’s resting on her shoulder.
“No, I’m not doing that,” Casey says. That's the last thing on earth he wants to do. He can’t just go crawling to his retired chief everytime he has a problem.
“I’m not saying you have to ask him to pull in a favor, but go to him for advice. No one’s expecting you to be perfect at this from the start. I can almost guarantee it took Boden a while to become the old wise chief we all know. You’re new, you’re learning. There’s nothing wrong with getting advice,” Sylvie argues. “If you’re drowning, it’s okay to grab onto the life line for help. No one’s going to judge you, and if they do, they’ll have to deal with me.”
“Thanks Sylvie,” Matt replies, but all the advice in the world isn’t going to do him or Stella any good if she doesn’t stick up for herself. They could have the best argument in the world, but if the lieutenant who made the decision doesn’t stand up to defend herself it makes her look guilty.
“Why don’t you take a break for a couple minutes and come help me change Brian’s diaper?” Sylvie asks.
“I don’t really have-”
“Matt, come on. Take a breath, just for a couple minutes, okay?”
“Okay,” Matt agrees, knowing he’s not going to win this fight, and it seems like there’s something else on Sylvie’s mind.
“What about you?” he asks, following her out into the bullpen. “What’s on your mind?”
“Now’s probably not the best time,” Syvlie says with a shrug handing Casey the changing mat to lay out on one of the empty desks.
“Come on,” Matt insists.
“Matt you just finished explaining to me how overwhelmed you are right now. You don’t need me throwing more onto your plate,” she replies and sets Brian down on the mat. She’s not upset or angry, just matter of fact.
“Hey, I don’t want this getting in the way of us,” Casey says and turns her so she’s looking up at him.
“Fine,” Sylvie sighs and turns back around to undo the baby’s diaper. “My family wants to come up for Christmas, and I want you to meet them.”
“Oh,” Matt says. He’d asked her for it and it’s even something they’ve talked about briefly before, but somehow it takes him by surprise and he’s not sure what to say.
“Chief, you have a call from chief Conway,” Kylie calls to him before he can reply to Sylvie.
“I gotta get that- we’ll talk…”
“Okay,” Sylvie replies and the disappointment and slump in her shoulders hurts him like a punch in the stomach.
***
“Squad 3 are you available to go back into service.”
“Yes, where do you need us, Main?” Kelly asks, picking up the radio. He was hoping to expend some energy on the last call, but it turned out to be not much of anything and they probably didn’t even really need the squad assist.
“Rescue assist from truck 81.”
“You got it main,” Severide replies and gives Tony the nod to hit the sirens.
“What are we looking at?” Severide asks, climbing out of the truck and putting his helmet on his head as he does so. 81 already has traffic blocked on the bridge.
“Guy hit the median, and got ejected,” Stella explains, then points to the other side of the bridge where a whole long section of the chain link fence to have been taken out. “He took out the fence and got tangled. Now he’s dangling from it over the water.”
Severide pears over the rail and sure enough their victim is hanging a good 10 or 15 feet down from the piece of fencing hanging down from the bridge.
“Damn, okay I’m going down to get him. Cruz get the rope rescue equipment, and I need 81 in position, we’re going to need the ladder to get me out over the edge,” Severide says, straightening up to give out his orders. Stella doesn’t say much of anything. She just waves to Mouch who starts moving the ladder truck, Severide can’t help but notice how willingly she was to relinquish her command of the scene; he’s so used to Casey who always seems to go overboard when it comes asserting his dominance.
Severide hooks himself into his harness as Mouch gets the ladder into position. Then before long he’s clipped in and making his descent to the unconscious man. He’s halfway through getting webbing attached to the guy to stabilize his position when the whole mess of wire hanging off the bridge shifts and the man shifts. He bites back a cry of pain as the man’s full weight is suddenly pulling his arm. There’s a terrifying second where he thinks the man’s dead weight is going to pull his arm out of its socket, and if the rest of the fence comes down, it actually will.
***
“Severide! Are you okay down there?” Stella shouts down to Kelly. She can see him struggling with the victim, but she can’t see exactly what he’s doing.
“Yeah,” he calls back, but it’s not very convincing. His voice is strained and it sounds like he’s hurting. “Pull him up, I’ve got him hooked up!”
“Pull him up!” Stella relays the order.
“Hey, what happened?” Stella asks once Kelly is back up safe.
“The fence shifted and pulled all his weight onto the arm I was holding him with,” Kelly explains with a nonchalant shrug and unclips his harness.
“But you’re okay?” she presses, looking him up and down. She knows he probably wouldn’t tell her if he was hurt, but she has to ask.
“I should be asking you the same thing,” he says, squinting at her.
“Why’s that?” she asks with a frown.
“I might not be the best with emotions and stuff, but I’m not blind Stella Kidd,” he replies, taking both of her hands in his. “There’s something bugging you and I have two guesses-”
“Kelly, I've got it handled,” she promises. She’s not sure how to explain to him, what needs to be explained to him, and part of her doesn’t even want to tell him she’s not planning on fighting the action against her. She’s scared of what she’ll see in his eyes, anger, disappointment, sadness, or worse that he’ll go cold and silent on her. Or he might try to fight her on it and she’s too tired to fight him.
“You know you can talk to me,” Kelly says, and looks a little hurt, like he doesn’t believe her and like he wants her to just talk to him, but he doesn’t push her. “I know I’m not the best with advice, but I can try if you’ll let me.”
This stops Stella where she stands. It hadn’t really occurred to her until now that he might think she doesn’t want to talk to him because he’s bad at talking.
“We’ll talk, I promise,” she says and pulls her hands away from his. She turns and heads for 81, but Kelly stops her.
“Hey, you know you got this Stella Kidd,” he calls after her, and it stings. She wishes she shared that same unwavering faith in her.
***
“Smoke break?” Severide asks, holding up two cigars as he pokes his head into Casey’s office. Matt knows he shouldn’t, there’s entirely too much going on right now, but he really needs a break from everything… just 10 minutes. Just a 10 minute break to blow off steam with Severide.
“Yes, let’s go,” He says and stands up, trying not to sound too enthusiastic about it.
“Things not going well?” Severide asks as they walk outside, he sounds like he already knows the answer.
“Don’t even get me started,” he grumbles and leans against the front bumper of the squad. The higher up chiefs have been calling non stop, and even a couple lawyers.
“Case, what’s going on with this whole mess?” Severide asks, lighting up his cigar. “I tried talking to Stella at that last call but she blew me off. Like I know I suck at talking about feelings, but I just wish she’d tell me what’s going on in her head. I can tell she wants to.”
“Getting advice from you is like getting advice from rock,” Casey comments, not really sure what to tell his friend.
“Well you’re not much better,” Severide mutters and blows out a breath of smoke.
“Brett wants me to meet her parents,” Casey says, changing the subject.
Severide looks over at him with both eyebrows raised. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing yet,” Casey says and scratches his head. “Which I feel like might’ve been a mistake.”
“Probably sends the wrong message,” Severide agrees, which isn’t really helpful.
Before Casey reply two chiefs buggies pull up the house.
“Smoke breaks over,” Casey sighs.
“Let me know what’s up,” Severide as the white shirts get out of their cars.
“Will do.”
***
“You guys are so down in the dumps,” Nathan comments as he turns on the stove to start making dinner for everyone. He knows everyone’s a little on edge because the chief is stressed, and lieutenant Kidd is currently under scrutiny for the call she made the last shift, but the house could benefit from being a little more lively. Moral being down is never a good thing.
“It’s called laying low and not getting your head bitten off by your chief or two of the three lieutenants on shift,” Gallo says sinking a little lower into his chair and pulling his hat down over his eyes.
“Laying low takes the stress away,” Mouch adds from his spot on the couch. “I’ve weathered out more than one hurricane Caseys in my days, and laying low, being quiet and staying out of the way is the best way to survive.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to be caught on the wrong side of his anger,” Ritter says, letting Tuesday lick the peanut butter off his spoon. “Gallo can tell you all about that.”
“We need something to do around here other than sit around and watch tv,” Nathan says decidedly. He understands wanting to sit down and relax after a call, but it gets boring and he wants to be doing stuff. “We should get a ping pong table or air hockey table.”
Mouch, Herrmann, and Cruz all snort in unison.
“No we shouldn’t,” Cruz is the first to actually say anything. “I’m pretty sure there’s still glass on the floor outside the briefing room from when we broke the door.”
“You guys broke the door?” Gallo asks, sitting up and lifting the hat from his eyes.
“We shouldn’t do anything competitive, unless it’s who can vent that roof the fastest,” Mouch says disinterestedly without offering much explanation.
“We have fun, but always goes a little too far,” Cruz adds.
“I thought Casey was going to choke Otis out when he went through that door,” Herrmann laughs to himself. “We had too much fun with that thing.”
“And the foosball table?” Cruz adds, laughing to himself and pats Brian on the back. “I’m surprised no one lost their job over that one.”
“What did you guys do?” Nathan asks, looking between the three older firefighters in bafflement. Foosball is an intense game, but he’s not sure how it could result in potential career loss.
“Cruz was spinning,” Herrmann says defensively.
“I was not!” Cruz objects, trying to keep his voice quiet and civil so as not wake the sleeping baby on his chest. “You just can’t admit that I was winning fair and square! And the refs didn’t call it-”
“Well that’s what happens when you make Capp and Tony the refs!” Herrmann shouts and stands up angrily.
“Hey! We’re great refs!” Capp says indignantly.
“You know what,” Cruz says and stands up to face Herrmann. “Mouch, hold the baby,” he hands Brian off to the firefighter sitting peacefully on the couch. Then gets right up close to the engine lieutenant. “We need to settle this once and for all.”
“You’re on,” Herrmann says glaring down the much bigger firefighter.
“Probie, what did you do,” Gallo whispers to Nathan, who quite frankly has no idea what he just started. All he wanted to do was make things a little more lively in the house and boost moral a little. Not start a feud between Herrmann and Cruz.
“Molly’s, tomorrow night 7:00 pm,” Cruz replies without flinching.
“I’ll bring the foosball table.”
“And I’ll bring the ref.”
“What are you boys fighting about?” Mackey asks strolling into the common room, and probably interrupting what was about to turn into an all out brawl between the squad firefighter and the engine lieutenant.
“This cheating disgrace,” Herrmann says, gesturing to Cruz as he steps off.
“They’re fighting about a foosball match that happened like 12 years ago,” Mouch explains, bouncing Brian on his knees.
“I am the queen of foosball,” Mackey says and plops herself down into a chair. “I’ll face the winner… and win.”
“Those are fighting words young lady, better be careful with them,” Mouch warns.
“Herrmann’s too old and slow to beat me, and Joe can’t beat me because I’m like his kid sister.”
Herrmann looks like he’s about to blow a gasket, but before he can the bell rings and calls for the engine company.
***
Severide sees the chiefs leave and takes that his queue to head toward Casey’s office to catch the tail end of whatever conversation happened between him, the chiefs and Stella who’d been called into the office not long after the chiefs had showed up. Chief Conway has a smug look on his face that Kelly doesn’t like.
He’s halfway through the bullpen when Casey’s door opens and Stella walks out, visibly upset. She pushes past him without so much as a glance. Severide looks to Casey and all the chief has to do is shake his head for him to finally understand, understand all of it, why Stella has been ducking around and why she hasn’t wanted to talk to him, not to mention how strange she’s been acting… she’s not fighting the action against her. Severide turns around and goes after her.
“Stella, what the hell are you doing?” Severide says catching the door to her quarters with his boot before it can swing closed.
“I don’t want to hear it, Kelly!” She snaps back, spinning on her heels. There’s hurt in her voice and it’s not because he’s challenging her most recent life choice.
“Well that’s too bad! I’m not going to let you roll over and swallow this!” he retorts. “You worked too hard to just give up!”
“It’s not up to you!” she shouts.
“Stella! This guy is out of his mind. Any of us would’ve made the exact same decision. You made the right call! You have to defend yourself on this,” Severide insists.
“I can’t Kelly!” she cries, throwing her arms in the air. “I can’t do that Kelly!”
“Why the hell not?!” Severide demands, trying and failing to regain his composure and return the calm into his voice. She worked so hard for her promotion and now she’s just letting it slip through her fingers without a fight.
“How can I defend a decision that I don’t even know was right?” she shouts back, tears coming into her eyes. “A girl died because of the choice I made, Kelly. I am responsible for that. I was responsible for running that scene. Those victims put their trust in me and I let them down. I let them down… I can’t Kelly. I can’t defend myself if I’m not sure of my choice.”
Stella’s words take the wind out of his fight and he lets out a slow breath. “That’s why you're just taking this without a fight?”
“I can’t fight. I made a mistake,” she says, her voice softening to something heart broken and desperate. “I made a mistake and someone died, I can’t defend that. I can’t fight for a position that I’m not ready for especially since it will only put more people in danger.”
“Stella, any one of us would’ve made that same decision,” Kelly says gently and steps close to her, and reaches for her hand but she pulls away from him. “Stella-”
“Don’t lie to me just to get me to fight this.”
“Stella Kidd, I wouldn’t lie to you, especially about this. Moving the car could’ve caused spinal damage to both victims and it would’ve only saved you seconds. Seconds that wouldn’t have helped that girl, and if you’d waited any longer with the dad, he probably would’ve died,” Kelly insists.
“You don’t know that.”
“And you know for a fact that those seconds would’ve saved that girl?” Kelly replies, locking gazes with her. “If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you know for a fact that those seconds would’ve saved that girl's life then I’ll drop it and walk away. I’ll let you give up.”
Stella closes her mouth.
“You can always go down the hole of what ifs, Stella. But you saved a life last night. Maybe it wasn’t the one that dad wanted you to save, but you saved someone so if you find confidence in nothing else, find it in that,” Severide says. “What if’s go both ways, what if you tried the other way and they both died? It’s easy to judge yourself after you know how things end, but it’s not so easy making choices when it’s in the moment. And in that moment you looked at what you had and you made the decision you could and you saved someone.”
Before Stella can reply, the bell rings.
“Squad 3, water rescue, ambulance 61 med stand by for water rescue.”
Severide hesitates before leaving. “We can’t save everyone. Don’t throw away everything you worked for because of it.”
Stella doesn’t say anything as he leaves.
“Is everything okay with you and Stella?” Sylvie asks, giving Severide a concerned look as they head for the trucks
“No,” he says bluntly, too angry to be quoi. “She’s not fighting the action against her.”
“She’s not what?” Sylvie demands, sounding shocked.
“She’s not fighting it. She says she made the wrong call and can’t defend her actions with a clean conscience,” Kelly replies, and swings up into the squad truck.
***
“Hey Maggie, can I get you to do a huge favor for me?” Sylvie asks, stopping the ED nurse as she finishes up her paperwork.
“Sure, what do you need?” the nurse asks, stopping whatever she’s working on to give Brett her attention.
“The dad whose daughter coded in our ambo last shift, what can you tell me about his condition?” Sylvie asks, leaning on the counter.
“I’m not supposed to share anything,” Maggie says apologetically.
“Look, Kidd is facing a lot of heat over this and she’s not fighting any of it because she thinks she made the wrong choice in not moving the car on the call,” Sylvie explains.
“She thought about moving the car? And she’s facing heat over all this?” Maggie says, sounding surprised.
“Yeah, why?” Sylvie asks cautiously.
“No one from the CFD has been by to get medical records, and they definitely should’ve. Especially if moving the car was an option.”
***
“Severide, calm down,” Casey says, trying weakly to talk down the squad lieutenant pacing angrily in his office. “The department is still planning on fighting the case on her behalf.”
“Yes, but if she doesn’t give a statement, the lawyers will eat it alive,” Severide argues.
“And what exactly do you want me to do?” Casey says helplessly.
“Hey, where’s 81?” Sylvie asks, poking her head into Casey’s office, interrupting their conversation.
“Out fueling up, why? Casey asks.
“Because I need to talk to Stella,” Sylvie says. “I’ll go wait for her in the bay.”
Before Matt can say anything to her, she’s ducking out again and closing the door.
***
“Stella, we gotta talk,” Sylvie says to her best friend before she’s even all the way out of the truck.
“Kelly put you up to this?” the lieutenant asks flatley, looking unpleased with the notion.
“No, he’s too busy running around like chicken with its head cut off in Casey’s office. I’m not really sure how either of them ever get anything done to be honest with you,” Sylvie replies, and gets Stella to crack a smile. “I took matters into my own hands.”
“So this is about that,” Stella says with a sigh and closes the door to 81.
“Yes it is. And I am here to tell you, you can not throw your career away over that call, Stella,” Sylvie says, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Brett-”
“C2 through C5,” Sylvie blurts, interrupting Stella. “Those were the vertebrae broken in the girl’s neck. And L3 and L4 were broken in the dad’s back and he had a punctured lung. If you’d moved the car it would’ve killed the girl by fracturing her neck all the way, the dad probably would’ve been paralized from the waist down, and extricating him last could’ve killed him.”
“Where-”
“While lieutenant dumb and chief dumber were busy panicking, I went to Med and talked Maggie into giving me the details on the victims. There was nothing to you or anyone could’ve done for that girl, and you saved the dad by making the choice you did.”
“You mean…”
“You made the right call, Stella,” Brett reaffirms her, and the look of pure relief that crosses Stella’s face is like nothing Brett’s ever seen. “Nobody is more deserving to sit in that officer’s seat. You have to fight this.”
Stella nods and opens her mouth, but gets interrupted.
“Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61, Squad 3, residential structure fire. Smoke and fire showing.”
“I will, Brett.”
“And you should probably talk to Severide before he loses what little mind he has left,” Sylvie jokes, already feeling lighter right along with her friend.
“As soon as we get back,” Stella promises, stepping into her bunker pants. “Come on girls! I’ve seen candidates get geared up faster than you!” she shouts redirecting her energy to her crew. “No offense Nathan.”
***
“81 I want you guys on ventilation and primary search with squad, 51 i want you guys to start knocking this mess down,” Casey orders as the trucks begin to roll onto the scene after him and people start getting off. There’s one minivan parked out front and no one standing outside the house, meaning people are probably home and still inside. And it’s a saturday which means the kids they probably have are most likely home too. The smoke hasn’t turned black and violent yet which means they’ve got time
“Mouch and Marks, I want you guys on the roof ready to go when I know what we’re looking at inside,” Stella orders, and she seems to have a new energy that she didn’t have this morning. There’s a spring her step and confidence has returned to her voice. “Gallo, you’re with me.”
“Tony and Capp take the 1st floor. Cruz you’re with me, we’ll take the 2nd floor with truck,” Severide says, and Casey catches the lieutenant casting a quick glance at his girlfriend. He seems to notice Stella’s change in stride as well.
***
“Fire department! Call out!” Gallo shouts, echoing his lieutenant’s calls as they work their way down the upstairs hallway, the squad 3 firefighters not far behind them. It’s dim and smokey, the only clear light around them is the fire dancing dangerously up the sides of the walls, but it’s wild and confusing and disorienting. It makes everything look the same, but he keeps his breathing slow and calm, and his ears pricked for the sound of anyone calling out for help.
“In here!” Comes a weak reply to their shouts that ends in a cough.
“That was off to the right, through that door,” Gallo says, patting Stella on the shoulder to get her attention.
“Alright, let’s go get 'em,” his lieutenant replies and works her way carefully across the hallway, moving with ease and grace. Part of Gallo can’t believe she’d ever question her place on this job or as a leader. She’s a natural, fluid and thorough.
“Keep searching the rest of the hallway,” she calls to Severide before shouldering her way through the door. He’s not sure if it’s just that they’re on a structure fire which makes everyone a little happier, or if something else happened, but she seems more sure of herself and comfortable than she has all shift.
There’s three kids in the room, an older brother who’s maybe twelve and two smaller girls who look like twins.
“Hey, we got you guys,” Gallo promises and gets down on one knee with Stella in front of them. They’re wide eyed and terrified, the brother clinging onto the girls like their lives depend on it.
“Come here kiddos,” Stella says reassuringly and gently pulls the two little girls toward her. “You two are going to come with me.”
“What about buh-buh?” One of the little girls asks, her voice quivering in fear as Stella scoops her up .
“I got him,” Gallo promises.
“Yeah, I’ll be with the other firefighter, Lacy,” the boy promises as he ruffles his sister’s hair.
“You got em?” Gallo asks as he picks up the boy.
“Yeah,” Stella says, adjusting both kids so she has one on each hip. “Let’s get the hell out of here. Chief, this is Kidd and Gallo. We’ve got three kids and are heading out.”
“Tony and Capp, we’ve got the parents and are heading out too.”
“Cruz and Severide, we’re blocked off in the delta side corner, second floor.”
Gallo can hear Stella stop behind him, and he knows exactly what’s running through her mind.
“Lieutenant, we gotta get these kids out of here,” He says looking over his shoulder at her. The smoke is starting get darker and hotter. “They’re smart. They’ll figure their own way out.”
“Yeah,” she says swallowing. “Let’s keep going.”
“We’re bailing.”
“Chief, the roof’s getting soft,” Mouch reports when Gallo’s halfway down the stairs, Stella is a couple steps behind him. “We’re heading back down.”
No sooner has he spoken than the ceiling above them lets out a loud groan.
“Run!” Stella shouts.
Human instinct tells Gallo to look up, but his trust of his lieutenant is stronger. If she says run, then that’s what he’s going to do without looking back and without forethought. He’s known her long enough to where he’d follow her blindly- hell, he has followed her blindly through pitch black smoky hallways. He speeds up, skipping steps as he goes, and he’s only made it down about four when a massive wooden beam crashes down from the ceiling, only missing him by a couple feet. He can hear the girls with Stella scream, and he stops and spins around.
“No!” The boy in his arms shouts and starts fighting him to be let down.
“Lieutenant!” Gallo shouts, his heart pounding in his throat. She’s somewhere blocked off by the flaming beam completely blocking off the stairs.
“We’re all okay,” Stella shouts back, but Gallo still can’t get eyes on her. “I’m taking the girls back up to the room. We’ll bale out from there! Get out of here.”
Gallo hesitates, the boy in his arms still struggling to get free. “Copy that!”
“No! What about my sisters!” The boy protests, clawing at Gallo’s arms.
“They’re safe with my lieutenant,” Gallo promises and turns his back on the stairs and heads for the exit.
***
“I need a ladder to the alpha side window. Stairs are blocked.”
Severide’s chest tightens as he hears Stella call come in over the radio. The second floor was in bad shape when he and Cruz made their bale.
“Mouch, Marks, get a ladder up there now,” Casey orders, but the two truck firefighters are already rushing toward the window with a ladder.
“Brett!” I’ve got a kid, smoke inhalation and minor burns!” Gallo shouts coming out of the house, holding a young boy in his arms. It grabs Severide attention away from the window and the danger that Stella is currently in only for a couple seconds. The young firefighter has a haunted expression on his face as he takes his helmet and mask off while Brett runs over to check out the kid he’s pulled from the house. Then the glass of the upstairs window is being busted out, and Severide returns his undivided attention to the window. He wants to be on the ladder helping Stella to safety, but Mouch has already beat him to it. Stella hands the first kid out the window and helps her find the rungs on the ladder with her feet; then Mouch begins his descent down the ladder, keeping one hand on the kid, helping her. Then Stella is coming out of the window with the other kid, and Severide allows himself to breathe.
***
“Hey, Stella,” Kelly grabs Stella’s arm and spins her around her to face him, interrupting her trek to the truck to rest for a couple minutes and get her nerves under control. She can still feel herself shaking. That beam had been less than foot from crushing her and the two little kids she had with her.
“Kelly-”
“No, just listen for a second please,” he says quietly. He always gets a little flustered and unsure when it comes to expressing his feelings, and she can tell that’s what this is. He’s worried, she can see it his concerned blue eyes. “I came at you harder than I meant to earlier-”
“Kelly, it’s okay-”
“I just need you not to give up. You’re meant to do this, you’re an amazing firefighter and great lieutenant. You already have it together better than me and Casey did this early into our command-”
“Kelly, I’m going to fight it,” Stella says, sliding both hands around the back of his neck.
“You-” He stops mid sentence like he didn’t quite register what she just said at first. “You are?”
She swallows and nods her head. “Yes. I am.”
“What changed your mind?” he breathes, relief flooding his face.
“Brett got the medical report from the call. Moving the car would’ve made things worse,” she says. “And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it. I was scared, I guess.”
Kelly just shakes his head a little and then grabs her and pulls her into a tight hug. “I meant what I said. You got this Stella Kidd, always.”
Stella hugs him back and runs her fingers through his short hair on the back of his neck. It’s good having him close to her again.
***
“Brett!” Casey calls to the paramedic, stopping her as she makes her way to the front of the ambulance. The other ambulances have already taken all the victims to the hospital.
“What can I do for you chief?” she asks, stopping her hand on the door handle.
“You can tell your family I’d love to meet them for Christmas dinner,” Casey says, sliding his hands into his pockets and giving her an apologetic smile.
She lets her hand fall to her side and a ghost of smile slips across her face. “You’re sure?”
“Of course!” Casey says. “And I’m sorry if I ever made you think otherwise. I would love nothing more than to meet the people who raised you and helped you grow into the amazing woman you are today.”
The grin that comes across Sylvie’s face sends happy butterflies through Casey’s stomach, and for the first time since Chief Walker came into his office to tell him that there was an action being filed against Stella, he’s actually happy- like filled with real genuine joy that makes him feel warm and happy inside.
“Sorry I brought it up when I did,” she says, taking a step toward him and taking both of his hands in hers.
“I’m the one who asked,” Casey replies softly, and plants a kiss on the top of her head.
***
“I’m going to report to headquarters and give the chiefs my statement on what happened on that call, as soon as shift’s over,” Stella says, and Sylvie can see how relieved it makes Matt and Severide and she herself is very proud of Stella. It was a rough call, but she made the call all the way.
“Who’s the chief in charge of the case?” Sylvie asks. It’s been bugging her since she talked to Maggie at Med, in a case like this medical records seem like they should be the first that get looked into.
“Conway, why?” Casey asks, sitting back in his chair, and turning his attention in Sylvie’s direction; Severide and Stella do too.
“When I talked to Maggie earlier she said there hadn’t been requests from the CFD for the medical records regarding the call,” Sylvie says, Stella looks a little confused but realization dawns on both Severide and Matt’s faces.
“What…?” Stella ventures after a couple seconds.
“In a case like this the medical reports should be the first thing pulled in for review,” Casey says. “Half of these cases get tossed just after looking that far, and in this case it definitely would’ve.”
“So you’re saying Conway botched it?” Stella asks, looking between the three of them.
“Maybe he just missed it, but I’d be careful of him,” Sylvie says. “If he did it on purpose-”
“If he did it on purpose, he should get fired,” Severide jumps in angrily before Stella can express her own indignation.
Casey lets out a deep sigh. “I don’t want any of you guys trying to go talk to him. That could make whatever it is he has against Kidd worse. You guys need to let me handle this okay?”
“It’s me,” Severide huffs, visibly frustrated. “I’m what he has against her.”
Then before anyone can say anything else, he pushes his way out of the office.
“Kelly-” Stella calls, trying to stop him, but doesn’t quite say it fast enough. “Not this again,” she grumbles rolling her eyes. “We’ll be back.”
“Is it possible for someone else to take over this case?” Sylvie asks, watching Stella chase after Severide.
“I’m going to try my very best to get someone else on it. And I can be a real pain in the ass.”
***
“Kelly!” Stella snaps, finally catching up to him out in the bay. “Stop for five seconds.”
Severide clenches his jaws and swallows, but doesn’t say anything. He has that dangerous stark expression on his face that means things are about to get shot to hell, again. The face that says he’s about retreat into his unreadable shell of silence.
“Don’t shut down on me,” she says firmly. “Please.”
He opens and closes his mouth, but no words come out.
“Kelly.”
He closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath. “He’s coming after you because of us. I knew this would happen from the start. Right from the beginning.”
“No, Kelly,” Stella says, shaking her head. “He’s trying to screw this up for me, because I am a woman. If it wasn’t me being with you, it’d be something else. I lost my footing with this. I didn’t tell you what was going on at first because of it, and that was a mistake. But we’re stronger together, and if I have a chief gunning for me I need you to have my back.”
Kelly doesn’t say anything for a long time, and there’s a terrifying second where Stella’s scared he’s not going to say anything at all, but he finally opens his mouth and speaks. “I’ll always have your back, Stella Kidd.”
***
“You guys are seriously doing this?” Nathan asks as Herrmann, Mouch, Cruz, and Capp bring the foosball table into the bar through the back door.
“They better be, because if they aren’t that means I drove all the way here for nothing.” there’s a cheer from all the 51 firefighters in the bar, as Boden makes his presence known.
“Hey! Chief!” Gallo and Ritter both cry in unison and hop off their bar stools. A couple others give cries in greeting.
“Hey! I’m right here!” Casey protests jokingly, sending up laughs around the bar. The former chief flashes the new chief an amused grin.
“So that's the ref you brought in,” Herrmann says schematically, eyeing the former fire chief. “He didn’t bribe you did he?”
“Shut up and give him a proper greeting,” Cruz scolds and gives Herrmann a little shove.
“He’s a regular!” Herrmann protests.
Nathan smiles to himself. This wasn’t really what he mean when he said they all needed to be more active, and there was no way for him to see this as a possible outcome of the suggestion, but he’s glad he made it. Since coming to 51 things have seemed so tense and on edge, and this the first time people seem to be really letting lose, and he’s happy his suggestion lead to this. Even Chief Casey is laughing and he’s been the most tense of anyone. The only people not laughing and having a good time are Lieutenant Kidd and Severide who aren’t in the bar at all.
“Hey, I’ll be back in 20,” he says to Ritter and Gallo before heading for the door. The two lieutenants were on edge the whole shift, and they should be here for this. They should be laughing and having a good time along with everyone else, especially since things are starting to look up with the action filed against Kidd.
***
“What are you doing here kiddo?” Kelly asks, opening the door of the apartment for Nathan, who’s fidgeting in the hallway.
“What are you guys doing?” he asks, shifting slightly.
“Blackhawks and beer,” Kelly replies, glancing over his shoulder at Stella who’s sitting on the couch watching tv contently. She’d gone to headquarters and put in her official statement defending her actions on the call, and they’d both decided on taking it easy for the rest of the day. “You wanna come in?”
“No, and I have a better offer than Blackhawks and beer,” Nathan says, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Now this I gotta hear,” Stella says, getting up off the couch to come stand next to Severide. “Not much beats Blackhawks and beer.”
“How about a Herrmann vs. Cruz foosball match?” he asks.
“Your candidate drives a hard bargain,” Kelly says tucking one arm around Stella’s shoulders. He doesn’t want to make her go out if she doesn’t want to, goodness knows she deserves some rest and relaxation, but watching that match does sound like fun, and it’s something he’s seen since before he was a lieutenant of squad 3.
“And beer?” the candidate tries.
“A hard bargain, indeed,” Stella agrees with a smile. “And I don’t see how we can argue with it.”
“So you guys will come?” Nathan asks excitedly.
“Give us five minutes to get ready, and we’ll be there.”
***
“You by any chance want your job back?” Casey jokes as Boden sits down next to him at the bar during the so call half time of the foosball match between Cruz and Herrmann.
“Harder than you’d thought it’d be?” Boden chuckles and sips his beer.
“I don’t know how you put up with so much of everyone’s crap for so long,” Casey replies. He’s been chief for just under a month and he’s already more tired than he’s been over the course of his whole career. “What was your trick?”
“Not forgetting it’s family and remembering every day on the job is a gift and a blessing,” Boden replies, this time completely serious. “Very few people get to wake up and do their dream job. Don’t forget why you started doing what you do, and you’ll be just fine.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Casey says and clinks his beer against the old chief’s. Sometimes he wishes the man was still in charge of the house, everything seemed to go much smoother, but that may have just been because he wasn’t the person running the show.
***
“Hey man, you okay?” Ritter asks sitting down at the bar next to Gallo, who seems to have withdrawn into his own head space. It’s not like him to duck out when everyone’s laughing and having a good time; usually he’s laughing it up right along with the group. But tonight he’s tucked himself away.
“Yeah,” he says, quite unconvincingly and swirls his drink. He’s sipping on something harder than beer tonight, which means he definitely has something on his mind.
“Come on, what’s bugging you?” Ritter presses. Really he’s been quieter than normal ever since the house fire call, which is also unlike him. Usually he can’t stop talking after a fire, especially one where he makes some great save. He talks it up, and even gets a little boastful, everyone does.
“Nothing, I’m fine. Just a little tired, you know? We had two late night runs last night,” Gallo shrugs and sips his drink.
“No, something’s definitely up with you,” Ritter says, decidedly. “What’s wrong? Bottling stuff doesn’t work in this job. It sounds sappy, but you gotta talk about it.”
Gallo exhales slowly and sets his drink down on the table. “Fine. That fire call, it kinda threw me for a loop.”
“Why’s that?” Ritter asks, searching his friend’s gaze for answers.
“That boy I pulled out. He was sheltering his sisters when we found him. He went to get them, then when me and Stella were bringing them out and the beam fell from the ceiling and separated us he was clawing at me to get free and go to them. He was trying to save them,” Gallo explains slowly and takes another sip of his drink. “He did all that, he was willing to face that fire to get them.”
“He’s a brave kid.”
“And…” Gallo trails off and slips back into his own thoughts again.
“And?” Ritter prompts.
Gallo keeps his gaze staring off into space as he replies. “And all I did was hide in a closet.”
