Summary: Patton loves his binky! It's his absolute favourite thing, and he never, ever wants to get rid of it! But what if he's too old for it? Can you be too old for a comfort item? Someone certainly thinks so. And now there's an all-out binky war! Oh no...
Warnings: Arguing, taking away a comfort object, some like... PG-13 "swearing"
A/N: Hey! Hi! Hello! I'm alive! I know I haven't updated in a loooooong time, I'm really sorry! School kicked my butt a lot, and that led to writer's block. But I'm back now! And I'm happy to inform that I graduated right before Christmas, and this means that I have more time and less stress! And that means I can write! Hopefully!
So anyway, I've decided to treat you munchkins to not one, not two, but THREE oneshots tonight! Because I kind of just disappeared like that, so I feel like y'all deserve a lil extra 💅✨
Patton had a favourite pacifier. It had a cyan shield, orange handle, white middle part and a latex teat. It was Patton's favourite thing in the world, and the little boy loved it very dearly. Whenever he regressed, he absolutely had to have it, and would cry if he couldn't find it.
"Where is it? Where is it, where is it, where is it?" Patton kept repeating to himself and his frog plushie, Mr. Froggers, growing more and more panicked by the minute. He tossed around pillows, looked under tables and even went through the pockets of every jacket on the coat rack in an attempt to find his precious binky. He looked everywhere, high and low, but it was like his comfort object had disappeared into thin air. Virgil walked into what looked like the aftermath of a hurricane in the living room.
"What's going on kiddo?" he asked the frantic boy.
"Binky! I can't find my binky!" Patton exclaimed, his voice breaking as tears began pooling in his eyes.
"Aw, c'mere, bub," Virgil cooed sympathetically, opening his arms for a hug as Patton broke down in sobs. The little boy all but ran into Virgil's arms, needing the comfort. Virgil lifted the sad boy up on his hip, and gently rocked him for a moment.
"Let's go get you a cup of water, hm? We wouldn't want you to run out of tears, now would we? And then we'll look for your binky together," Virgil promised. Patton nodded, having calmed down from sobs to hiccups.
In the kitchen, as Virgil reached for one of Patton's cups from the cupboard, he saw a rather familiar cyan and orange object on top of the fridge.
"What's this doing here?" he mused to himself. He opted for a puppy themed cup and filled it with water before handing it to Patton, who was sitting on the counter. Virgil then turned back to the fridge, and took down Patton's binky.
"Good news pal, I found your binky! It's a little dusty, so I'll rinse it off before you can have it, okay?" the emo said, taking the pacifier to the sink.
"My binky!" Patton lit up. "Why was it on top of the fridge?"
"I don't know bud," Virgil answered honestly, drying off the comfort object before offering it to it's rightful owner. Patton opened his mouth, letting the caregiver put the binky in place.
"Thank you!" the little boy mumbled behind the teat, reaching his arms out for Virgil. He took the cue and set Patton's now empty cup aside before picking him back up.
"How's about you settle down with some Steven Universe while I make us all lunch?" Virgil suggested. Patton nodded, rubbing the leftover tear residue from his eyes underneath his round glasses. He was a little worn out from crying, and cuddling up with Mr. Froggers and his binky felt like a good idea. So, Virgil carried the little boy back in the living room, and gently sat him down on the couch. The caregiver turned the tv on to the boy's comfort cartoon, tidied up a bit and gave Patton a kiss on the head before heading back in the kitchen.
After a few episodes, Roman emerged from his room. As he passed by Patton to go to the kitchen, he noticed the pacifier in the curly haired boy's mouth, and furrowed his brow in confusion.
"Oh, you still have your binky?" he asked. Patton just nodded, not knowing why the prince would assume otherwise. Roman didn't say anything else, but did give Patton a quizzical glance before making his way to the kitchen.
"I thought Logan said not to give Patton his binky anymore?"
"What?" Virgil turned his attention from the sandwiches he was making to Roman.
"I don't know, I just... thought he did," Roman said, feeling uncertain.
"Well, whatever, Patton is always allowed to have it. Capiche?"
"Capiche," Roman sat down at the table. The two continued chit-chatting, Virgil continuing to make lunch, until a panicked noise came from the living room. Before either had time to react, Logan walked in.
"Who gave Patton this?" he asked, dangling the blue and orange object between his thumb and index finger.
"Did you seriously just take that from him?" Virgil asked snarkily.
"Yes he does. He's regressed."
"No, he doesn't. He's far too old for it."
"Did you miss the part where he's regressed?" Virgil asked sarcastically. Logan sighed.
"What I'm saying is that a six-year-old shouldn't be using a pacifier. It'll harm the development of his teeth. He needs to be weaned off."
"Wait. You put Patton's binky on the fridge? Are you kidding me, Logan? What the hell is wrong with you?" Virgil threw his hands in the air.
"I'm doing him a favor," Logan stated, starting to put Patton's beloved comfort object on top of the fridge again.
"Give me that!" Virgil snapped, snatching the pacifier from Logan's hand.
"Roman, you agree with me, right?" Logan turned to the prince who had been watching the scene unfold.
"Oh come on, you can't take advantage of Roman agreeing with you just because he can't stand up for himself!" Virgil fired.
"Hey! I totally can stand up for myself! How rude!" Roman stood up, offended.
"Whatever! I'm taking this back to Patton now," the hoodie-clad Side rolled his eyes, completely done with the other two. He left the kitchen, only to be met with an empty couch.
In the meanwhile, Janus was getting some chores done while Remus was taking a nap in their side of the Mind Palace. It was one of Remus' really small days, so he was remarkably calmer and quieter than usual, allowing Janus to have a calmer day as well. The scaley Side was folding some clothes, spotting one of Roman's hoodies along his and Remus' laundry. It wasn't an unusual find, seeing as Remus tended to grab whatever hoodie or sweater he first saw when he got cold, paying no mind to whose it was. Janus would then wash and dry it before returning it to it's rightful owner.
The snake decided it was time to strech his legs anyway, so he might as well go return the hoodie now. He got up and stretched, a silent groan escaping his mouth. Perhaps sitting on the floor, hunched over his laundry, wasn't the best position to be in. Regardless, Janus took the hoodie and checked on the peacefully sleeping Remus before attaching the baby monitor on his belt and making his way to the core side of the Mind Palace. He passed through the living room, where Virgil, Logan and Roman were arguing about something or other. He didn't feel like getting involved, so he kept going, deciding to drop Roman's hoodie off in his room before heading right back to his baby. He froze, however, when he was passing Patton's room and heard muffled sounds from inside. The sounds were so faint they were barely there, but Janus could sense something was wrong. He went to drop Roman's hoodie off on his bed before heading back to Patton's room. He took a breath, and gently knocked on the door.
"Patton, darling, may I come in? It's JanJan," he said. He got a faint 'yes' as a response, and with that he opened the door and entered the room. Patton was sat on the floor, clutching Mr. Froggers tightly, hiding his mouth behind the plushie's head. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were shiny, as his fingers ran slowly back and forth on the back of Mr. Froggers' head. Janus carefully sat next to Patton, leaving a bit of space in case the little boy needed it.
"What's wrong hun?" he asked gently. Patton hesitated for a moment.
"You can tell me, I promise I won't get mad," Janus said, taking off his right glove before offering his pinky. Patton thought for a moment longer, before finally linking his pinky with the yellow Side's.
"Lo-Lo doesn't like me anymore, and now him and Vee and Ro-Ro are fighting and it's all my fault!"
"Did Logan say that to you?"
"Well... No... But he took my binky! Said I can't have it anymore!" Patton pouted, lip trembling as a few tears escaped from his eyes to his cheeks. Janus carefully wiped the tears away with his thumbs, gently cupping Patton's small face in his hands.
"I'm sorry he did that, that was really mean of him," he sympathised. Patton sniffed, reaching his arms out and climbing in Janus' lap. The latter wrapped his arms around the small one, and they both just stayed there for a while, until Remus started fussing in his baby monitor.
"What'dya say, want to come hang out with me and Remus for a while? Leave the others to their dumb fight?" Janus asked, gently playing with Patton's curls. The boy simply nodded, tightening his grip slightly. The older one took the hint, and carefully got up, never letting go of the child. Janus adjusted Patton slightly, before carrying him out of the room. As they passed the other three, still deep in their argument, Janus summoned one of his extra arms before subtly taking Patton's beloved binky from Virgil's hand.
Back at the other side of the Mind Palace, Janus had gotten the still glum Patton situated on the couch before retrieving the fussy Remus from his room. The kiddos were now sitting on the couch, watching as Janus prepared to fold the rest of the laundry. Remus pointed to Patton, a questioning coo rising from behind his pacifier.
"Yeah bub, Patton is feeling a little sad because Logan took his binky away from him," Janus explained. The baby thought for a moment before taking the green pacifier out of his mouth, offering it to the glum child. Patton shook his head, and Janus rose to intervene.
"Ah, that's very thoughtful of you Remus, but we don't share binkies, hun. I think Patton would want this instead," he said, summoning one of his extra arms, the one with Patton's beloved comfort.
"My binky!" Patton perked up, reaching out for Janus' third hand before stopping in his tracks.
"But... Too old for it?" he asked hesitantly.
"Never too old for a comfort object," the caregiver assured, making sure to keep his tone soft and genuine. The boy thought for a moment longer, before finally taking the binky and popping it into his mouth, right where it belonged. He wiggled a little, immediately feeling soothed. Patton suckled on the object gently, his muscles untensing as he finally relaxed. He ran his fingers across the back of Mr. Froggers' head, swaying a little to the tune of Janus' humming. Eventually, Patton nodded off.
He didn't stay asleep for long, however, waking up to the sounds of arguing.
"I can't believe you'd just sneak Patton off like that!" Virgil.
"Oh, yes, what a *terrible* crime, tending to a child in distress!" Janus.
"He's fine! He was just pouting because he's mad I took his pacifier away! He's merely being petty!" Logan.
"Don't you even start with that bull!" Virgil again.
"You can't be serious, Logan!" Janus again.
"I am always serious, necktie! Besides, it is for his own good! Roman agrees with me!"
"Oh for eff's sake, grow a backbone, Roman!"
Patton covered his ears tightly, it was all too much! He didn't want this, he didn't want this! He quietly sunk down, holding back tears and hands firmly on his ears, Mr. Froggers in tow.
Thomas was editing on the couch, when he felt Patton rise up next to him. Before he had a chance to react, Patton was already climbing on his lap, almost causing Thomas to drop his laptop. He fumbled with it for a second before managing to safely place it on the coffee table.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong buddy?" He gently asked, wrapping his arms around Patton as he finally registered the little boy's sobbing.
"Everyone fightin n it's my fault n loud n m scared!" Patton explained in-between hysterical sobs.
"You're not bad honey, not at all!" Thomas soothed the panicky boy, gently rocking him and rubbing his back.
"What were the others arguing about?" he asked gently. Patton pointed to the comfort object still bobbing between his lips.
"They were fighting about your pacifier?" Thomas confirmed. Patton nodded, still teary-eyed, but his breathing having calmed down. Before Thomas could ask anything more, a regressed Roman rose up.
"I don't know! I just don't know!" he yelled, pulling at his hair. Patton flinched slightly at the volume, and Thomas tightened his grip slightly.
"I don't know the right answer! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!"
"I don't know," Roman's voice broke as he dropped to his knees, his shoulders shaking as he began to sob behind his hands. Thomas carefully rose from the couch, placing Patton on his hip. He then crouched next to Roman, placing a gentle hand on his back.
"Sweetheart..." he murmured, sitting down on the floor before carefully rubbing Roman's back.
"They kept pressuring me! I didn't know what to do!" the eight-year-old's voice wavered as he tried to hold back his sobs.
"It's not your fault, hun, I promise," Thomas reassured, hating to see his boys so broken.
"Not your fault," Patton echoed quietly, reaching for Roman's shoulder with his own, small hand.
"I'm sorry I didn't have your back," Roman sniffed, wiping his eyes before reaching for Patton's hand, placing his own on top of it.
"M sorry they're fightin because of me," Patton mumbled, also sniffing and wiping his eyes.
"It's not your fault, bud," Roman and Thomas said simultaneously.
"Jinx," Thomas smiled. Roman gave a small smile in return.
"Tired," Patton yawned around his beloved comfort object.
"Me too," Roman confessed, catching Patton's contagious yawn.
"I think the both of you need a nap, hm? And once you're big again, we can all settle this together, once and for all," Thomas ruffled both boys hair affectionately.
"Toooom!" Roman whined playfully, as Patton just giggled.
"Alright, let's get you two rascals all nice and cozy, yeah?" Thomas carefully got up, making sure Patton was comfortable on his hip before lending a hand to Roman.
"Thanks Tom!" Roman thanked politely. Patton tugged at Thomas' shirt.
"Hm?" The caregiver turned his attention to the younger one.
"Stay?" Patton asked, almost as if he was scared Thomas might leave him the second he falls asleep. And how could Thomas say no to those puppy eyes?
Thus is how Thomas ended up on the couch, sandwiched between a six-year-old and an eight-year-old, and a definite crick in the neck by the time they'd be getting up. Still, there was nowhere else he'd rather be than right here, right now, with his boys. And with that thought, Thomas, too, fell into a peaceful sleep, each boy contently snuffling under a protective arm.
