The Story of DEELMKR
No idea what made me think of this but a couple weeks ago, Gilmo, Jusky and myself went looking for adventure and found it at a driving range.
On the way there an enormous luxury car was driving on our right. If you subscribe to Freud you would conclude this man has a small penis and hates himself for it and is compensating through this large phallic metallic roadster.
The man himself was screaming on the phone while simultaneously waving his arms at a driver in front of him in a much smaller vehicle. This could be because the driver was terrible but if we're continuing with Freud, you get the picture.
Anyway, he blasted by us and we saw his license plate. "DEELMKR" it read. Dealmaker we assumed. Let that sink in a minute how douchey that is. But it was a beautiful thing to think of this sad piece of shit going to the DMV with "DEALMKR" on his form only to be told by a state representative "It appears DEALMKR is taken."
I'm assuming his stomach started to squirm, his face turned red, he might have shed a tear thinking of every time he couldn't satisfy his wife.
"But what about DEELMKR? We can give you that one." He reluctantly agrees and drives home, his penis completely flaccid, docile, broken, until late at night when he leaves his bed (wife asleep with wine stained lips) and puts a post-it note scribed with a large "A" on it and places it on his DEELMKR license plate to crudely transform it into DEALMKR. He cries while he masturbates and a neighbor sees him, calls the police, and he spends years in prison.
While there he meets a man named Jasper who does tattoo work for a price. Let's not get into details about what he had to do for Jasper but involved I Love Lucy fan fiction and rubber gloves. The time came for getting his ink.
"What you want bitch?" Jasper asks.
"DEALMKR" he says.
He can barely contain his excitement but holds still lest the tattoo be ruined. This was his fucking destiny, nothing could stop him after this was over.
"Alright it's finished. What do you think bitch?"
His smile turned to ultimate horror as he looked in the mirror. Covering his entire back was a swastika and below it, one word, reading... "DEELMKR."
