U guys want some more rewrite stuff? Bc I think I succeeded in making Alderon more vicious:
He froze. Rage rose up sharp in his gut, and he took half a step forward without even meaning to. “Do not play games with me, knight. I do not take well to mockery.”
The knight stood his ground, stock-still and strangely relaxed. His heartrate climbed, the only sign of his discomfort. “I meant no disrespect, Lord Alderon, and this isn’t mockery. My offer is real. I will trade myself for them.”
“And what makes you think,” Alderon spat, “that I would accept such a measly trade? You, one person, versus an entire village. I could simply take your blood now and be done with it.”
“This isn’t a one-time deal. I will happily stay by your side as long as you want me to. No tricks, no fighting. This I swear.”
“Your promises mean nothing to me.”
The knight hesitated, and it was this, more than anything, that caught Alderon’s attention. The lack of surety on his face, where before he had known exactly what to say, made Alderon’s gaze flare and sharpen.
The hesitation, and the knight, dropped. He hit one knee, head bowed, fist to his chest once more. “I will swear myself to you. I will live under your name.”
The knight’s heart pounded in the silence, louder than before. It was enough to make Alderon’s teeth ache, and his stomach roiled. Through it all, tension and conflict rippled through him at the offer.
This boy needs to calm down I swear
