#ch-pineapple

[pancakemoney]

A Day in the Life

My roommate, standing around the kitchen snacking at 11 pm: What should we do about dinner tomorrow?

Me, standing around the kitchen moving shit around for no purpose: I don't know, we still have the soup from my dad? We should finish that

My roommate, after putting an entire egg in her mouth: Oh, but I was telling [our friend] that we could go to that restaurant with the free drinks!

Me:I mean, we could do that, too, that's fine

My roommate: But we should finish the soup...

Me: No it's fine--

My roommate, her entire face lighting up: I could eat it now!

[pancakemoney]

Daily Occurrence

the sink: screams

me: screams back

my roommate, in another room: harmonizes

[pancakemoney]

my roommate, thumbing through a college merchandise brochure: look at alllllll these white people—oh, an Asian!

[pancakemoney]

Little Spoon: *farts*

Big Spoon: *betrayed voice* I trusted you...

[pancakemoney]

Watching My Roommate Play Overwatch: Part 2

Widowmaker: One shot, one kill

Roommate: One shot, oui oui

[pancakemoney]

Roommate: Did you put the rice in the fridge?

Me: ... No?

Roommate: Did I put the rice in the fridge? I don't remember this

Me: This house is haunted

Roommate: No, it's not

Me: There's a ghost helping us out with chores

Roommate: No, it's just me

Me: We should perform ritual sacrifice to thank it

Roommate: STOP

[pancakemoney]

my roommate, after staring contemplatively at the ceiling light for half a minute: that's a boob

[pancakemoney]

"CROUTON TOWERRRR" -my roommate, an adult