Challenge 003: Interior of a Maverick
Are you afraid of death? If so, what most terrifies you about it? If not, then why?
I think that everyone is a little afraid of death. It's only natural as human beings. Even people who have considered taking their own life are afraid of death I think. How can we not be? It's completely unknown to us what actually happens when you die. Death is a scary thing. I challenge anyone to tell me otherwise. If it wasn't scary they probably wouldn't make as many horror movies.
Have you ever thought about taking your own life?
I really wish I could say I never have. I can say I never thought about it seriously, but I have thought about it. What happened to me was very traumatic and after I thought that maybe the only way to get rid of the pain to die. I realized though that I couldn't go through with it. I'm still trying to figure out why that is.
Do you consider it okay to cry? When was the last time you did?
Of course it's okay to cry. I don't know anyone who thinks it isn't. It's something that everyone does at one point or another. I haven't cried in a long time, but not because I think it's wrong or something. I don't cry because my tears refuse to fall. I'm alright with it though because I never really enjoyed it.
What is your religious view of things? What, if any religion, do you call your own?
I don't have a religion. I believe that people should be good to each other and be the best versions of themselves. Other then that I don't really see the point in following a religion myself.
What’s one act of your past that you’re ashamed of? What’s one act that you’re proud of?
Letting him hurt me the way he did. I could have stopped him if I hadn't been a coward. I could have done something rather then just let it happen. The clothing I wore could have been a little less revealing. I could have done so much. I am proud of getting my family and I back to Bennington though. I think it'll be good for me and my brother. River doesn't seem to think so, but I'm fairly certain that he just lives to do the opposite of anything I say.
Would you ever have the capability to murder another human being?
I don't think so. I feel bad for killing bugs to be honest. The only way I would murder someone if my life was on the line. I would be extremely guilty about it though. I don't know how I would deal to be honest.
If your house was burning down and you could only save one family member, which one would it be and why?
I hate to say this but it would be River. I love my Parents, I do, but their minds are warped. They don't seem to see the world for what it actually is and they taught their children to do the same. Plus I simply couldn't live without my twin. He's kind of my rock and I love him. We shared a womb and that's a big deal. He's definitely more then my brother.
Out of your friendship group, which person really gets under your skin and why?
I think it's a tie between Paige and Blaise. Blaise doesn't seem to know how to be nice. He thinks that his good looks entitle him to just do whatever he wants. He doesn't seem to care about peoples feelings. I hate that I'm attracted to him at all, but I guess I really can't choose who I'm attracted to. I'll just try and ignore him I guess. Paige I dislike because she's rude and such a bad influence. She doesn't even try to stay out of trouble. I don't like River hanging out with her.
Out of your family, which person really gets under your skin and why?
Both my parents get under my skin. So does River sometimes. I know it asked for one person but I can't pick. Actually yes I can, it's my parents. They mean well but their views are so warped. Luckily though they are both very naive so they haven't picked up on anything strange with me. I think River has but luckily he hasn't brought it up.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, how would you spend your last twenty four hours?
I would spend time with my friends. We would just let go and do any crazy thing we pleased. If I was gonna die anyway it really wouldn't matter. I would probably go skydiving, or in a hot balloon. Maybe I would go dancing even? Basically I would just live and not worry about anything. When I think about it I should live every day as if I would die in 24 hours.
What’s one trait you loathe about yourself?
I sometimes think people think I'm uptight. Maybe I am a little. I just worry I guess. I don't want anything to happen to my brother and maybe I take that too far.
If you knew Cody was going to do what he did, what would you say to try and stop him from jumping?
Cody you don't have to do this. I know that you're in a lot of pain, but we can take this on together. Take my hand and I promise you we will get through this. I'm in a lot of pain as well Cody. Someone did something to be that I didn't want them to do and the weight in my chest is almost to much to bare. Suicide is never the answer. It's giving up and I know you don't give up Cody. Don't give up now. I can't promise that everything will be alright now, but if you work at it I believe it will be. Don't hurt your friends like you've been hurt. Maybe right now living is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but you have so much left to experience. No one is beyond help even if they think they are. I know it's scary, but I'll be right by your side, so will everyone else. Please just don't make a mistake that you can't take back. Come on down and we can cry until no tears are left and eat massive amounts of food. I love you okay? We can get through this.