#mavs challenge

[jonesrae]

Challenge 003: Interior of a Maverick

Are you afraid of death? If so, what most terrifies you about it? If not, then why?

I think that everyone is a little afraid of death. It's only natural as human beings. Even people who have considered taking their own life are afraid of death I think. How can we not be? It's completely unknown to us what actually happens when you die. Death is a scary thing. I challenge anyone to tell me otherwise. If it wasn't scary they probably wouldn't make as many horror movies. 

Have you ever thought about taking your own life?

I really wish I could say I never have. I can say I never thought about it seriously, but I have thought about it. What happened to me was very traumatic and after I thought that maybe the only way to get rid of the pain to die. I realized though that I couldn't go through with it. I'm still trying to figure out why that is. 

Do you consider it okay to cry? When was the last time you did?

Of course it's okay to cry. I don't know anyone who thinks it isn't. It's something that everyone does at one point or another. I haven't cried in a long time, but not because I think it's wrong or something. I don't cry because my tears refuse to fall. I'm alright with it though because I never really enjoyed it. 

What is your religious view of things? What, if any religion, do you call your own?

I don't have a religion. I believe that people should be good to each other and be the best versions of themselves. Other then that I don't really see the point in following a religion myself. 

What’s one act of your past that you’re ashamed of? What’s one act that you’re proud of?

Letting him hurt me the way he did. I could have stopped him if I hadn't been a coward. I could have done something rather then just let it happen. The clothing I wore could have been a little less revealing. I could have done so much. I am proud of getting my family and I back to Bennington though. I think it'll be good for me and my brother. River doesn't seem to think so, but I'm fairly certain that he just lives to do the opposite of anything I say. 

Would you ever have the capability to murder another human being?

I don't think so. I feel bad for killing bugs to be honest. The only way I would murder someone if my life was on the line. I would be extremely guilty about it though. I don't know how I would deal to be honest. 

If your house was burning down and you could only save one family member, which one would it be and why?

I hate to say this but it would be River. I love my Parents, I do, but their minds are warped. They don't seem to see the world for what it actually is and they taught their children to do the same. Plus I simply couldn't live without my twin. He's kind of my rock and I love him. We shared a womb and that's a big deal. He's definitely more then my brother. 

Out of your friendship group, which person really gets under your skin and why?

I think it's a tie between Paige and Blaise. Blaise doesn't seem to know how to be nice. He thinks that his good looks entitle him to just do whatever he wants. He doesn't seem to care about peoples feelings. I hate that I'm attracted to him at all, but I guess I really can't choose who I'm attracted to. I'll just try and ignore him I guess. Paige I dislike because she's rude and such a bad influence. She doesn't even try to stay out of trouble. I don't like River hanging out with her. 

Out of your family, which person really gets under your skin and why?

Both my parents get under my skin. So does River sometimes. I know it asked for one person but I can't pick. Actually yes I can, it's my parents. They mean well but their views are so warped. Luckily though they are both very naive so they haven't picked up on anything strange with me. I think River has but luckily he hasn't brought it up. 

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, how would you spend your last twenty four hours?

I would spend time with my friends. We would just let go and do any crazy thing we pleased. If I was gonna die anyway it really wouldn't matter. I would probably go skydiving, or in a hot balloon. Maybe I would go dancing even? Basically I would just live and not worry about anything. When I think about it I should live every day as if I would die in 24 hours. 

What’s one trait you loathe about yourself?

I sometimes think people think I'm uptight. Maybe I am a little. I just worry I guess. I don't want anything to happen to my brother and maybe I take that too far. 

If you knew Cody was going to do what he did, what would you say to try and stop him from jumping?

Cody you don't have to do this. I know that you're in a lot of pain, but we can take this on together. Take my hand and I promise you we will get through this. I'm in a lot of pain as well Cody. Someone did something to be that I didn't want them to do and the weight in my chest is almost to much to bare. Suicide is never the answer. It's giving up and I know you don't give up Cody. Don't give up now. I can't promise that everything will be alright now, but if you work at it I believe it will be. Don't hurt your friends like you've been hurt. Maybe right now living is the hardest thing you'll ever do, but you have so much left to experience. No one is beyond help even if they think they are. I know it's scary, but I'll be right by your side, so will everyone else. Please just don't make a mistake that you can't take back. Come on down and we can cry until no tears are left and eat massive amounts of food. I love you okay? We can get through this.

[paigebradleys]

challenge #8: prom ideals vs. expectations

ideals

I suppose my ideal prom is pretty simple. I don't need anything fancy, really, I'm not one of those bitches that expects a guy to roll up to their house with a huge limo or something, I'm happy with the Beluga. Grace's guy's got his work cut out for him though, because I doubt that even a limousine would impress her. Neither one of us are really your average bitch. Anyway, that's besides the point. I mean, the rules for prom have been laid out, so, I expect to break every single one of them at least, reality or fantasy. Wyatt and I will probably spike the punch pretty early on, so about halfway through the night, everyone'll get wasted. Honestly, spiking the punch is probably my biggest act of charity every year because everyone wants to get wasted or they wouldn't drink the punch and prom would honestly be extremely boring if everyone was sober. Then, ideally, Wy and I would skip out and jack Dawkins' car (it's a pretty damn nice one, I thought teachers got paid like...two cents a day, but I guess not). We'd blaze it up and take it out and I could try that thing, you know, where you stand on top of a car while it's going and it's kind of like surfing but a bit more hardcore because if you fall off, there's not water, you know? And then we might fuck in the back seat then drive back to pick up the others, who've no doubt had their fill of the prom bullshit and there probably won't even be any open bathroom stalls left by that point. We'll have to wait a moment while Robbie vomits because he drank a bit too much punch and then we'll ride around, high as fuck and fucking shit up. I haven't decided whether we'd ever return Dawkins' car (honestly I'm all for vandalism), but this is all extremely unlikely anyway. But don't tell me it doesn't sound hella rad. 

expectations

Okay, so really we'll probably be stuck at prom all night, which I guess won't be totally bad. Sucks all my friends are pussies. Wyatt'll still pick me up and we'll still spike the punch and no doubt Emily will do something bitchy, so someone's going to have to cheer Robbie up. So, me and Robs will probably both break dance. At some point, everyone'll be getting drunk, except maybe Amy who's really adamant about that sort of thing, which I guess is understandable, but still a total downer. At some point, Dawkins announces some bitch as prom queen and some guy who coincidentally isn't her boyfriend and some sort of drama ensues. Either that or some bitch is announced as prom queen and someone else gets pissed and they fight about it. Someone might even storm off the stage, some other bitch will cry. Wyatt and I will make fun of the whole damn scene. Blaise will probably have some pretty fucking humorous input, too. Fucking hilarious how we all think prom's lame as hell but we're all still into it - we've all been talking about it for weeks. Anyway, by this point either Wyatt and Grace will probably be hooking up, or Wyatt and someone, or maybe Wyatt and me, which would work out because then I wouldn't have to put any effort into finding someone to wind up fucking in the bathroom stall by the end of the night, which is pretty much inevitable. No doubt at least one of us will walk in on Jordan and Blaise going at it somewhere - this almost always happens, how they ever have any peace I don't know - and then they'll be temporarily blind or they might say something about how great Jordan's tits are and Blaise will tell them to fuck off. Jake and Kane will probably be disgustingly cute the entire night and someone's going to have to take me home, preferably not to my house because if I'm not wasted by the end, there's going to be a problem.

Hell yeah, prom. 

[kane-asghar]

The Prom Expectations and Ideals {Challenge 8}

Expectations:

I know prom won't be anything exciting. I don't expect to walk into the hall and have my eyes ready to pop out of my head. There will be some color scheme, balloons, a DJ station, a table with catered food, tables for people to sit, and chaperones lingering in every corner. Wyatt and Paige will spike the punch so everyone who is trying to quench their thirst from dancing will get fucked off their heads. I think that will probably be funny to watch, people stumbling around and crashing into things. Maybe we'll even make the news since everything is in there nowadays.

Prom King and Queen will probably go to one of the jocks and his bleached blonde girlfriend. They'll have a dance in the middle of the floor and everyone will find it heart warming while I will roll my eyes. Who came up with the idea of that bullshit anyways? Best couple, yeah okay. I know I'm not an expert on relationships, nor am I one to talk, but getting together because you're both exceptionally good looking isn't a relationship.

I'll spend the night hanging out with the Mavs, mostly Jake since he's my date. I'm kind of excited for that. Yeah, it's corny as shit and I see him practically everyday, but, it feels kind of nice to be public about him and I. There's no confusion anymore.

Fuck's sake, I'm getting too sappy aren't I? I'll just cut to the chase. Dancing, suits, dresses, teachers, alcohol, and who the fuck knows what else because whenever all of us tend to be somewhere together, things go crazy.

Ideal:

A theme that's not traditional would be great. Even if it was a toga party, it'd be a hell of a lot more interesting than getting dressed up. I think that's what the prom committee should focus on next year, doing things different. Not that it'll matter because I'll be in NYU, but for the juniors that will become seniors and in order to save the school from boredom, it would be a good idea.

They could even do a space theme. Fuck, I sounded like Robbie there didn't I?  I'll save the space adventures for when me and Robbie actually steal the spaceship and go to space. It shouldn't be that long now considering he's attending the NASA program over the summer.

But right, prom, basically any theme where I wouldn't have to wear a suit gets a thumbs up.

[robbie-desmond]

Challenge 8: Prom

Expectations - To be incredibly clear on this, I expect prom to suck.  I didn't want to go in the first place, and especially not with Emily.  I'm not even sure why she wants to go to prom so I'm not really sure what to expect other than the suckage.  I can't imagine her being super into prom or dancing or the whole date aspect of prom and me being there with her so I'm still confused as to why she wanted so badly to go with me but she did.  So let's cover the basics that will be unavoidable.  Formal wear - me in a tux which is something I didn't exactly want.  Bad, loud music - probably done by some guy who graduated from Bennington High five years ago and is going prematurely bald.  Tons of other people - something that is already unavoidable in life.  Emily - not really going there again.

Ideal - I can't say I have an ideal prom in mind, I can think of ways to make it more bearable?  Like having a really great band playing, not even necessarily a well known one, I mean we live mere hours away from New York City do you know how many bands that place has?  And we couldn't spring for one of those or at least have prom at the planetarium so I could at least look at the stars instead of being regulated to permanently sitting at some table with Emily who will in all likelihood have the exact same amount of fun as me which is to say none at all.

Or I mean we could do the whole anti-prom thing that would have been way better, just the group hanging out somewhere.  Or zombie prom, I mean I'm not crazy about zombies myself but zombies are at least slightly more interesting than then living masses at the school who are pretty self absorbed and oblivious to the world around them and probably just as obsessed with flesh as a zombie.  

[amy--harrison]

Prom: Reality Versus Expectations ☯

The Expectations

Do I really have to discuss the calamity that is prom- again?! I feel as if our entire student body has forgotten what it's like to have a conversation about something other than prom. Is it that hard? There are, oh, I don't know. Books, movies, news, sports, education, family, friends. Something other than this subject would be vastly appreciated.

If I am being forced, (which it seems like I am), to talk about prom, I will say this. It's going to be horrible. By horrible I mean, auto-tuned music with a beat that's only made for dancing. Though dancing will be grinding and teachers having to separate the students from having sex right then and there. Prom is equivalent to a gateway for girls dating their boyfriends for a long time to lose their virginity, or dates that went with each other only to get it on in the bathroom stalls. It's not as if Bennington High will pick a classy hall to host the party. We'll be lucky to have streamers.

Prom is a sacrificing the virgin ceremony.

However, if I'm going to say what I expect, I could say that I expect to show up by myself. I'll ask Kane and Jake to pick me up. We'll talk about how lame the entire thing will be on the way, only to have our initial thoughts confirmed as we show up. I'll avoid the punch (it'll most likely be spiked), and have a dance with Jake and Kane. I doubt I'll dance with Robbie because Emily will be there and my plan is to avoid her the entire night. Otherwise, a colorful choice of words will come out.

Then I'll count down until the king and queen are announced and go home with my expectations confirmed. Sorry mom. I know you say I should start acting like a teenager, though that's kind of hard when I've been forced to grow up.

The Ideal

I'd like to be asked out by one of the football players. Maybe number 19 or 27. He would sweep me off my feet with a quote from an intelligible piece of literature and after the quote, he would then ask to prom. Blinded by my beating heart and fluttering eyelashes I would say yes.

I would wear a pale pink dress and he'd have a matching corsage. He'd pick me up in a limo, wearing a black tux with a white undershirt and he'd tell me how beautiful I looked and that he had a crush on me since I told off Berkins at the start of of the year. I'd blush, tell him she deserved it, and give him a compliment in return. The entire ride in the limo would be him holding my hand, softly whispering to me.

When we get to prom, we'd dance the entire night, even get nominated for prom king and queen. We wouldn't win, but that would be okay because Prom would still be as great as it could be.

Then, I would slam my face into my desk because who would want that? Prom isn't about the perfect night. It won't be the perfect night. There are many other nights that I've had that will be better and are better.

The ideal, I'm not certain I can fathom what that would be. If I were to be honest, I would like to go with Robbie. Though that's incredulous, out of the question, and I will proceed to cease talking.

[amy--harrison]

Dear Cody ☽

Sixth months have passed since your death. How did that happen? I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. You were here just a little while ago, or so I think, until it hits me. You died, and there's no way of bringing you back.

I'm sorry I couldn't do enough for you. I thought we were close. You were the only one who knew so much about my dad. It was easy talking to you. You never judged. You listened. I didn't have to think, that in the back of your mind, you were saying, "more drama from Amy." We had an understanding, an unexplainable (though unneeded) way of talking. Talking to be free from our problems. Talking because we needed to talk.

It's cliche, even absurd, to generalize that teenagers are misunderstood and talking breaks the mystery. You know me, Cody, never one to conform. Ha, so much that means in the present. I have conformed in an odd sense of the word conform. I do what many do after death. I blame myself. I blame myself because I feel as if I had a bit more of an influence on you. Not the bad kind. Nor the immensely good kind. Simply and neatly, an influence.

When you told me your brother died, I hugged you until my fingers were numb. I listened to the sound of your voice as you tried to hold back your tears.

I'm so fucking sorry that you lost your brother. It hit you hard and you never accepted it. I thought, you were strong, and that you would. I thought, or I hoped, or a combination of both, that you would pull through because you were Cody Johnston.

Nothing ever weighed you down. You were a free spirit. I always loved that about you, Cody. No matter how horrible your day went, you laughed, you smiled, you destroyed something. (Which I still don't approve of by the way).

I wish I would have known what you were going to do at the warehouse. I wish I had a hint. There are always signs when people want to commit suicide. I noticed none of them. Or I discarded them as mourning. I'm sorry for not helping you, Cody. I'm sorry if I disappointed you and in that disappointment, you grew your wings and flew away.

I miss you loads. Writing this letter has hurt my chest far worse than any beating my father gave me. That's a lot of pain, Cody. This isn't about me, so I shall end this by saying, wherever you are, I miss you. Wherever you are, thank you for listening to all I had to say.

xx Amy

P.S.  You better have a cool cape.

[paigebradleys]

Challenge #7

Hey Assface, 

I'm only writing this because my therapist suggested it. Actually, she said I had to. It's my "homework". I thought it was kind of stupid, but she told my mom, too, and now I have to do it. She promised she wouldn't read it, so I thought I might blow it off, but maybe you'd like to get some mail wherever you are. I like to think you can read this, anyway. I don't like to think about the fact that you could be nothing - that's the thing about you, Cody. I can't imagine you simply not existing. I never thought much about after death until you, but now I think there must be something. There has to be.

Hope you didn't take me seriously all those times I told you to go to hell, hah.

A few days ago, it was six months. Sometimes it feels like it was years ago, sometimes it feels like yesterday. It's weird. Everyone's really upset about it in their own way, but I don't know, I still can't bring myself to be truly sad about it. I just miss you. That's all it is - I miss skipping class and fucking in the bathroom, I miss chilling with both you and Wyatt and getting so high that we can't breathe because we're all laughing so hard. I remember laughing so hard and thinking that I might die and if I did, that might be a decent way to go.

I hope that you were happy when you went. I know it doesn't matter any more, but I think about that sometimes.

I just hate that when you were gone, everything changed. Alexis bailed and pretty much everyone seems to burst into tears at the mention of your name. No one's as carefree as they used to be - we still have fun, but it was so much crazier when you were around. I guess losing you has made me realize how much I don't want to lose anyone else, but I wish we hadn't had to lose you for me to realize that.

Fuck, there's just so much I want to tell you, about everything and everyone, but I keep wanting to call you up and hang out, do stupid shit and laugh as we're breaking all the rules. You were a legend - you tested every boundary, you broke every rule, you were never afraid. We had so much fun, didn't we? When we did those things, I always felt like we'd be doing them forever, like it'd never end, Paige and Cody, fucking shit up in a blaze of glory, something like that.

It can't just stop. There's no way there's a limit. Maybe you were, but I'm not done yet.

My hand is starting to hurt a little - I've never written this much in my entire life. I thought I'd just write a paragraph and be done, but I kind of just kept going. I think this is what that damn therapist lady had in mind, fuck her. I think I'm going to give her an empty envelop just to fuck with her - she'll be so pissed, it'll be funny as hell. I told my mom I was doing homework, but I'm not, she's a fucking idiot if she actually believed that.

There I go again. Talking to you like everything's normal.

I keep pretending everything's normal. But it's really not. Everything's different without you.

If you were a zombie, that would be cool,

Paige

[kane-asghar]

Dear Cody, {Challenge 7}

Six months, huh?

I never thought a span of months would pass as quickly as these did. Time has a funny way of blurring together, but even more so when death is involved.

I wasn't there when you jumped. I was home, reading. Typical of me, right? You were about to make the biggest and final decision of your life and I'm sitting around absentmindedly waiting for it to happen.

I didn't know.

I didn't know for a few hours.

I got a call -- broken and static filled on the other end. "Cody's dead." I laughed. I thought it was a sick joke because I decided to stay inside for the night.

Turns out it was the biggest dosage of reality that ever hit us.

I don't think you knew what you were doing the night you jumped. I mean, okay, you knew. These decisions aren't split second. But you didn't think past the now. You never did.

I can't say that I blame you for what you did. I can't say you knew what was going to happen after. We're all hanging on, Codes, barely. Laughs are harder to come across. Relationships are harder to grow. It's like some of us are stunted and some of us are shrugging it off because we won't face it.

I haven't yet. Or rather, you sneak into the back of my mind and remind me how fragile life is. I didn't want to know that. Do you understand? I didn't want to know how shit things were on top of the shit that I already think about.

I'm mad at you. I never realized that before until I glanced at the calendar and saw what day was almost here. You were a huge part of what kept us together and now I feel like I have to do that, like I have to make sure we won't drift. University's around the corner. I always thought about leaving, fucking off to another state or country and now I'm not so certain.

There are things left that I have to do in Bennigton. Remember, Blaise, Cody? I hurt him, bad. And I need to fix that before I ever decide to travel outside of this shit hole. Because others matter. Because there's a reason why we've all been friends for years.

We look out for each other. We make sure that bad things like this don't happen and when they do, we stick it out, because we're all we have.

Why is it fair that you get to remain free of any decision you made? Why is it that you're who knows where and all of us are stuck here, fighting to piece ourselves back together?

You were always a fun guy. Tutoring you was something I looked forward to.

But this wasn't funny.

And I'm sorry if this is fucked up since you're well, gone. It just needs to be said.

No one is laughing, Codes.