happy valentines beans. have some utterly unfiltered filth 🩷
“I’ll talk you through it, baby. Take your time.”
You nod in understanding, feeling the self-consciousness that’s plagued you all day melt away under Chan’s adoring gaze.
He’s always had a way with you, even when you first started dating. Meeting Chan had been a little like getting thrown in the deep end; you’d met him, fallen in love, and being fairly naïve to the ways of relationships found yourself thrust into a world you weren’t entirely ready for, but as they so aptly put it, love waits for no one.
But Chan takes care of you. He’s patient with you. Never asks for more than you can give and rewards you so well for what you’re able to.
If you were a worse person, you might find reason to be smug and brag about what you have with him. But you’re not, and neither is he. He’s just content to have you as you are.
“Touch yourself. Show me how you do it,” he instructs, legs crossed lazily as he reclines in the hotel armchair.
You nod again, spreading your legs timidly, letting your knees fall away from one another as your hand dips to your centre. Chan purses his lips, watches intently as he swills the short of whiskey around the crystal decanter in his hand.
His business meeting went poorly; that much you know. He never wanted to go on this trip, never wanted to attend that meeting, but at least having you come along with him made it somewhat bearable. Or that’s what he’d said, anyway.
Your body burns with desire as you press your palm to your exposed vulva, covering yourself until Chan’s eyes darken with warning. He wants to see; who are you to deny him? You isolate your middle and index finger, tracing the tips over the hood of your clit, letting your knees fall further away. You grip the bedsheets with your free hand, feeling inexplicably smaller under his unrelenting gaze. Pleasure licks you from head to toe as you start to properly touch yourself, through with the tease of working yourself up. Chan’s presence is enough to do that, in of itself.
“Tell me how it feels.”
“I like it,” you breathe. “Feels like I’m missing something, though.”
“Yeah?” Chan raises an eyebrow, taking an abrupt sip from his glass. He wets his lips, hissing as the liquor glides easily down his throat.
“Use your fingers, baby. Maybe that’s what you’re missing.”
Not what you meant, of course, but he knows that. All the same, you comply, sliding your middle finger inside and groaning with the intrusion, though it’s not enough. It’ll never be enough.
“Another,” he commands lazily.
You add your index finger alongside it, squeezing your legs together with the added pleasure it brings.
“Spread your legs, sweet thing.”
You quickly drop them open on the reminder that he needs to see, heat flushing your chest and neck with the exposure. Your ears burn, your pulse thuds through your ears as he deftly undoes the buckle on his own suit trousers, sliding down the zipper and shoving his hand inside. He squeezes his cock hard; you see the outline against his trousers and salivate at the idea of having him inside you, so thick compared to your feeble fingers. So full.
“Can you make yourself come, baby? Like this?”
You nod breathlessly, core tightening as he tugs at his necktie.
“Good girl. Get to it, then.”
He stands from the armchair, downing the remainder of the whiskey and shrugging off his suit jacket. His hand still down his trousers, he tugs himself once, twice, groaning through his teeth and positioning himself at the end of the bed.
Lee Chan is the sworn protector of your peace. He’s a “don’t worry about it” kind of guy because he will not only shoulder that burden that’s been weighing you down but he will get things sorted out on your behalf. Nothing brings him more peace of mind than knowing he’s able to lighten your load and leave one less thing on your plate. He’s intuitive in the way that you never have to outright ask for help - he can sense when something is too much and offers help without blinking. If you can’t tell him exactly what you need, because sometimes, you just don’t know, he’ll start breaking things down step by step and you can feel the physical sigh of relief ready to loosen from your chest. It’s a sound he loves to hear, giving him all the more motivation to tackle whatever it is you need him to. He is simply a man who is happy when his person is happy. That is his peace.
Summary: a drabble inspired by she looks so perfect by 5sos
Warnings: chan has a tattoo and is very much in love, lmk if i missed aynthing
Word count: 920
a/n: ever since I saw that clip of chan singing that song at one of the maniac tour concerts, i thought it was a very channie coded song. btw i know getting someone's name tattooed is very... but imagine someone being so obsessed with you that they do that hjkdjkh
when you walk out of the bathroom chan is already in bed, wearing his pyjamas (a pair of boxers), facing the ceiling. you lean on the door frame and cross your arms over your chest, looking at the man with only love and admiration in your eyes (maybe a bit of lust as well and no one can blame you for that). his sight moves from the ceiling to his wrist as he raises his arm up. he starts playing with the chain bracelet he’s worn forever now and when he does so, you can see the little tattoo that is hidden on the inside of his bicep. it’s a small black arrowed heart that has your name in it and you vividly remember the night he got it.
it was two years into your relationship when chan was in his yolo era and so so in love with you. so, one night, he picked you up at your house and told you he had a surprise. you did not expect him to take you to a tattoo salon and you expected what followed even less.
“you’re crazy.” you told him while shaking your head at him. but he only fired back with a very predictable “yea, for you.” and a loud laugh.
and even though chan is still equally as in love with you, he is also more responsible now and thinking about things that actually matter. so, when your body movement interrupts him from his thoughts, he looks over to you with a questioning expression. when he sees your form leaning on the doorframe, he smiles. you look so perfect standing there and he feels the need to tell you. he always does.
“you look beautiful.” he says, rolling over to his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows, one of his hands supporting his chin.
you snort in response and move closer to the bed, staring down at him. his hair is fluffy since he washed it tonight, the curls coming back to life. you reach down and ruffle it which he takes as an invitation to pull you down to the bed with him.
you’re wrapped up in his arms. one of his hands resting on your waist and the other sneaking down to your ass. the movement pauses when he reaches the hem of your underwear. or more specifically, his underwear. when he feels the thick band of fabric sitting on your skin, he pulls your shirt up and looks down.
“you’re wearing my underwear.” he states the obvious while his hand finally moves over the fabric that belongs to him (and also the skin that belongs to him). “yea, it’s more comfy to sleep in.” you respond, looking down as well. you’re not going to lie, the sight is nice. the black calvin klein boxers sitting on your hips nicely and chan’s pretty hand resting on your butt is something you’d want to take polaroids of and keep them hidden away in your room forever.
he groans and tugs your body closer to his, hiding his face in your neck and squeezing the soft flesh covered in his clothing. “you look so good in it.” he mumbles, and you can’t help but laugh at his frustration caused by a simple action.
it was quite a frequent occurrence, really. him getting so loved up and frustrated over stuff you do or over you as a person in general.
you remember the first time it happened. it was towards the very beginning of your relationship. he bought you a lot of new makeup products for no particular reason other than just to make you happy (and maybe he thought it was a very boyfriend thing to do). but there was one specific product that caught your attention. so, when chan came over to your house the day after giving you the products, you were wearing it. a dark red lipstick that smelled like roses. he noticed immediately.
“is that the lipstick i gave you?” he smiled, his hands going to rest on your hips, pulling you to him. “yea, it’s really pretty, right?” you smiled back, arms wrapping around his neck. but to your surprise, he shook his head no.
“it’s really hot.” he corrected with a smirk, leaning down to kiss you.
when he pulled back, his lips were a few shades darker and you swear you could’ve died right then and there. without thinking about it too much, you leaned close to him again and started kissing all over his face. you could hear his boyish giggles reverbating around the room. his hands squeezed your hips in an attempt to get you to stop.
when you led him to a mirror after that, he turned into a mush. you draped yourself over his shoulders and started peppering kisses down his neck now and the man just stood there not knowing where to look first.
should he admire how well the lipstick stains, the shape of your lips, really, looked on his face. or should he be staring at your face that was moving in the crook of his neck, marking him up some more. he couldn't handle it and his lipstick covered and frustration filled body turned around in your hold, going down to your neck (a very characteristic action for his love frustration surges).
and just like you did every time after that and like you’re doing right now, all you could do was laugh, hold him close and think about how incredibly lucky you were to have him as your person.
you could be anywhere. sitting on the couch, walking through seoul, standing in line at a food stand. his hand would always be interlocked with yours, his thumb sliding across the skin of your hand.
and his arms
in this case, your hands would be the ones always on his, drawing random shapes on his skin with your fingers when you’re cuddled up in bed together. he’s staring at you with so much fondness in his eyes and you’re staring at his veiny arm that drapes over your torso.
man, his skin would be so soft i can’t. (y’all remember that one live where he showed all his skincare stuff? yea.)
Pairing: chan x gn!reader (but reader is referred to as mom), slight minsung cameo hehe
Genre: fluff, idol!au, friends/idiots to lovers
Summary: confusing shenanigans between chan and his kids lead to even more confusion but also clarification?
Warnings: reader can be seen as gender neutral but they are referred to as mom by the kids. small age gap between reader and skz.
Word count: 688
a/n: this is a part 2 to this channie drabble!!!
you were standing in front of the door to chan’s studio, trying to bring yourself to knock on the door. he had texted you that he would finish work in about an hour and asked if you could meet him at the company so you guys could continue to the dorms afterwards. so here you were, standing in front of the door and wondering what would happen after you opened it.
he kissed you goodbye this morning. should you go in for a “hi kiss” now? should you act like nothing happened and just greet him normally? maybe shake his hand or something? no y/n, jesus you were overthinking this. but it was hard to not overthink when you had no idea where you stood with chan.
the door suddenly opening interrupted your frantic thoughts and you came face to face with a squirrel looking boy.
“oh, hi mom. dad’s still inside.” he grinned and slightly turned around to point behind him.
great, this makes things so much easier, even your friends could see the very obvious something between you two.
“shut up ji.” you rolled your eyes playfully. “we’re not mom and dad.” you argued, looking down at your hands.
“we’re not?” chan suddenly came out of the studio, walking over to you and stopping behind you. his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his chest. then you felt a kiss being placed at the crown of your head. your hands automatically went to rest over his bigger ones.
“I definitely feel like a father with all these kids running around my studio.” and as if on cue, said kids, changbin and lee know to be specific, walked out of the studio bickering about something.
“case in point.” you grinned at chan over your shoulder and he smiled back.
“hi, mom.” changbin stopped in his track when he spotted you, making minho bump into him. the older boy groaned and waved from behind changbin.
you rolled your eyes yet again. “you guys do realize that i’m younger than you, right?” this earned you a shrug from changbin and a chuckle from both han and minho.
“you’re dating our dad, it counts.” jisung argued and you instantly felt your cheeks go warm and pink because no, you were in fact not dating chan. at least not officially. but after today and after this little display, you couldn’t really say that you were just friends either, could you? but chan didn’t seem to have a reaction to this. in fact, he just stayed silent while tightening his grip on you a bit more.
luckily, the conversation quickly came to an end when minho interlocked hands with jisung and dragged him away after saying a brief goodbye. changbin also just waved and exchanged a quick “see you at the dorm” with chan.
and then you were left alone with chan who still remained behind you.
“should we get something to eat before we head to the dorm, mom?” he emphasized the last word, while he rocked you both from side to side as if you were wobbling little penguins.
“don’t start.” you turned around in his arms and glared at him.
“no?” he asked, a sly grin forming on his face.
“you don’t wanna adopt my kids?” he chuckled, after making a pouty face at you.
you stared at him, trying to read his face. was this still a part of the joke? did this have a deeper meaning? oh god, feelings are such a confusing thing.
“i think we’re going to have to get a divorce then. i can’t be with someone who won’t accept my children as their own.” he said, letting go of you and putting on a serious face.
and in that moment you thought to yourself, it’s now or never and so you just said the first thing that came to mind.
“maybe we could at least start dating before we go around getting divorced.” you chuckled nervously, holding eye contact with the man in front of you.
his expression turned from a serious one to a confused one.
Summary: you and chan are amazing friends but…is that really all you are?
Warnings: none!
Word count: 821
there was a thin line between friendship and love. you and chan would know. what you didn’t know though was on which side of the line you were currently on…
chan’s hand was draped over your torso and his short breaths were tickling the skin on your neck. he looked pretty all the time, that’s a given but there was just something about him when he was asleep. he looked so unbothered, so peaceful and relaxed. that’s why you loved falling asleep next to him. to see him look so content. to see him finally not stress over the smallest things because surprise surprise, chan is a workaholic and a perfectionist. that’s how any good friend would feel about sharing a bed with their other good friend, right?
you also loved that his attention was always only on you and nothing else in those rare mornings after you’d sleep over and that’s why seeing him stir up made your stomach feel all warm and mushy. friends definitely feel this way about other friends.
suddenly his sleepy eyes looked up at you with a bright smile shining on his face. oh you were down bad (as a friend would be for another friend, of course).
"good morning.” he said as he snuggled deeper into the crook of your neck.
“morning channie, how’d you sleep?” you asked, your hand subconsciously moving to draw shapes on his bare back which made him hum against your skin.
“mm, good. always good when you’re here.” that’s surely something a friend would say, yup.
the smile on your face gave everything away and your other hand moved to his hair, earning another content groan from the man you loved (as a friend, obviously).
“that’s-“ your sentence was interrupted by chan’s alarm. he unwillingly untangled himself from you and reached for his phone, turning the alarm off.
“how is it already time to get up.” he sat up, rubbing his palms over his sleep laced face.
you were too busy staring at his defined back to notice his face turning to you. his chuckle brought you back into reality.
“you’ve got a bit of drool there, y/n.” he pointed to his lips while simultaneously laughing harder.
you frowned and draped yourself over his shoulders while his laugh still rang through the room. “oh shut up mr. I always sleep good when you’re here.” your impression of his voice only made him laugh more and pull you closer to him by your arms.
“hey, I was just stating facts.” he says, turning his head to look at you.
“yea and I was just admiring, you’re pretty much asking for it at this point. sleeping all naked next to me and stuff.” you retort while meeting his gaze.
your faces are only inches away and if you weren’t friends which you are, it would only take a slight movement from you to kiss him.
“oh, don’t act like you don’t love it” he says, his eyes briefly going to your lips and moving back up just as fast.
you let go of him and fall back into the bed, your back hitting the soft cushions. you stick out your tongue and give him a silly face as a response. he only smiles at you and then he proceeds to do the most cruel thing he could do to you in the moment. he gets up from the bed.
your hands automatically reach out for him but to no avail. he’s already marching to the bathroom with a small “I should really get ready now.”
when he comes back half an hour later, you’re scrolling on your phone, still in bed. his now clothed form leans over you so you’re face to face again. you throw your phone somewhere on the bed and your hands move into his curls, while each of his find their place on either side of your head.
“i have to go now.” he says, brushing his nose against yours. eskimo kisses are normal between friends after all, right?
“can we meet up tonight?” you whine quietly in response.
“i’ll see when I’m finished at the studio but after that we could?” one of his hands brushes a strand of your hair out of your face.
“yea okay.” you smile up at him.
and then he kisses you. no matter how surprised you are, you kiss him back, of course but just as quickly as his lips landed on yours, they pull away.
“i’ll see you tonight then.” he smiles and places another peck on your lips.
when he closes the door behind him, you realize what just happened. he just kissed you like it was the most mundane thing ever. sure you were close. you were really close but you were still just friends. maybe friends just kiss sometimes? he did it so carelessly, it has to be normal. it’s what really good friends do, right?
a/n: hellooo, i’m pretty new to posting my little drabbles and works soo any feedback is welcome!!!
your boyfriend got a bit in his head when he saw your co-worker turn up for your tour rehearsals... but he had no reason to worry, did he?
words: 2.05k // warnings: a sprinkle of angst, jealous/slightly possessive chan, insecure!chan, idol!reader, actress!reader, idol!chan, overall fluff | based on this ask sent in by anon!
after the success of your latest drama, your company thought it would be the perfect time for you to embark on a world tour - fans were at an all time high and interest in your career, both in korea and globally, was soaring. you were of course elated at this - the idea of seeing so many of your fans across the world was mind-blowing and an opportunity you couldn’t turn down.
of course, that meant many late nights powering through songwriting, producing, choreographing and discussing visuals for how you wanted your concert to look. finishing a drama, releasing an album and embarking on a tour in the span of a few months was more tiring than you’d ever know your job to be.
sadly, that meant a lot less time with your boyfriend, chan, too. between your chaotic schedule, and stray kids preparing for a comeback, you barely saw your partner. the most you’d been in the same space in the last month was a few fleeting hours after he’d gone to bed and before you’d woken up.
while chan was almost completely nocturnal, you were undeniably an early riser. you’d always been more productive in the early morning, opting to finish your tasks as early as you could, as to enjoy the rest of the day. it was a strange combination, but it worked wonderfully. you balanced each other out in the best way.
so whenever you could, you invited chan to come and watch you rehearse. you also did the same with many of your friends, enjoying the fleeting time you got to spend in the same place at the moment, but chan was alway top of your list. some friends liked to turn up and surprise you too, appearing in the practice room or the venue you were rehearsing at to shower you with support and gifts.
just like today.
in your recent drama, you had played a florist who never believed in real love, being swept up into the world of a handsome model with whom she inevitably fell for. you were beyond lucky to feature in such a star-studded cast in such a respected and well-received drama, and even luckier to have someone like nct’s jaehyun playing your romantic counterpart.
the two of you had become increasingly close during filming, and you both walked away from set having gained a true friend for life. jaehyun was like a brother to you - worryingly because of all the fans of your drama that shipped you off-screen, and because of how awkward it made filming kiss scenes.
sometimes the enthusiasm of the fans wanting you to date got a bit much - you and chan were very open about your relationship, and you had made it very clear both publicly and privately that you and jaehyun were strictly friends. but that didn’t stop people from taking a sweet, platonic moment and running with it.
thats why you were kind of glad no one saw jaehyun entering the kbs arena, where you were currently rehearsing for your opening concert the next week.
jaehyun had walked in with a bunch of flowers and a smile while you were taking a break,and you were ecstatic to see him. it had been too long, in your opinion. placing down your water bottle, you jogged over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug.
“jae! what are you doing here?”
he shrugged, offering you the flowers - which you gratefully took. “can’t be in the gangseo district without coming to see my favorite florist rehearsing, can i?”
mood and energy skyrocketing, you and jaehyun sat down, digging into the lunch provided by your company’s staff, catching up on anything and everything worth gossiping about since you last saw each other.
unbeknownst to you, however, chan had also arrived just after jaehyun approached you, hoping to catch you on your lunch break and have a chance to eat with you. upon seeing you with jaehyun, however, he hesitated.
he knew that you and your co-star had become very close friends during the grueling months of filming, and he was more than understanding of it. after all, he had grown up with twice and was undeniably close to the 9 girls under the same company as him. so, he didn’t understand why his stomach flipped and his chest tightened at the sight of you laughing with another man.
you and chris had a very solid relationship. you had sat down and created boundaries and expectations before you even entered into your relationship 2 years ago, and you never had any reason to distrust each other. he also knew how much you had missed your friend in the months you had been so busy, and completely understood why you were so excited to see him.
so, he stood back and chatted with your staff, letting you have some time with jaehyun before approaching you. he was willing to wait, fighting to ignore the worming thoughts of anxiety in the back of his head. he wasn’t that kind of boyfriend, he told himself, so he had no reason to get upset.
laughing loudly to a story jaehyun had told you, you caught a glimpse of familiar blonde curls across the dining hall, heart jumping when you focused and realized it was your beloved boyfriend.
“channie! hi, baby! come here!” you called, unable to fight off a grin and blush when chan smiled and walked over to you and jaehyun.
“hi, babygirl.” he chuckled at your enthusiastic state, kissing the top of your head as he took a seat next to you.
he was quickly dragged into your ongoing conversation, catching up himself with jaehyun and enjoying having some time with you. on the other hand, you noticed that chan was being a lot more clingy than usual - having a hand on your waist or thigh the entire time, and constantly leaning in to plant kisses across your cheek and head.
not that you were complaining in the slightest. it had been too long since you got to feel chan’s presence this close to you, and your heart was soaring at the mere idea of it. just having him so close made you decide to ask for a couple of days rest, and spend it wrapped up in his arms in your shared apartment. he truly was the love of your life, and you had missed him more than words could describe recently.
but something was definitely off with him. you and chan were known to be a very touchy couple, pda being right up your street for two people whose love language was physical touch - but this was different. this was like he was trying to prove a point. but, why would he-...... oh.
the realization that chris was jealous that you were spending time with jaehyun, while unnecessary, was actually very cute. you knew deep down the incessant shipping of you and you co-worker by fans got under his skin sometimes, but regardless you had a very solid relationship. so, in some strange way, you found it endearing that he would still get jealous.
after about an hour, jaehyun announced that he’d have to take his leave - he had a schedule with his group and needed to head back to his company - leaving you and chris to bask in each other for a bit longer.
climbing onto his lap, you curled up in your boyfriend’s arms, hands instinctively reaching to fuss with his hair. “i’ve missed you, honey,” you sighed. “been too long since i got to see you properly.”
“missed you too, baby. just glad i caught you when you weren’t too busy.” the smile on his face was soft, but there was a slight bit to his voice that he was sure you would miss - he wasn’t even intending for it to come out.
your eyebrows furrowed slightly, leaning back to look at his face, quickly noticing the sour expression on his face. something was clearly bothering him, between the touchiness and snappy attitude, but you couldn’t figure out what it was.
shifting your position so you were straddling his lap, you cupped his face in your palms. sighing softly, you stroked the frustration wrinkles out of his skin, concern showing on your face.
“wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, bubs?”
“its nothing, angel,” chan huffed, hands sitting on your waist. “just being silly and overthinking again.”
you wholeheartedly disbelieved that was the case, knowing chan better than he knew himself sometimes. racking your brain, you begged yourself to pick something out that could be the cause of his current despair. until it hit you.
“this wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain coworker of mine, would it?”
when chris couldn’t hide the way his eyes rolled and ears flushed scarlet, you knew you had hit the jackpot. clearly something with jaehyun had upset chris, or even just slightly annoyed him - he was never any good at hiding his emotions.
“tell me what’s up, channie. i can’t help fix it if i don’t know what’s wrong.” you gently pushed, hoping he would cave under your proximity and allow you to share the burden of what was affecting him.
he was silent for a few moments, eyes screwed shut and his grip on your waist tightening slightly. then he blew out a breath, his grip loosening once again as he looked up at you with those big, brown eyes you adored.
“i just- sometimes i think the fans that ship you two are right. you get along so well, and seeing him surprise you here today just… kinda made me think maybe you would work better than us. and the thought hurt. i wanna be the one who makes you smile like that when i surprise you.”
chan’s confession made your heart drop. was he really that jealous of jaehyun and your friendship? had you done something to make him feel this way?
“love… you know you have no reason to be jealous, or upset, or worried? jaehyun is just a friend, and just a coworker. and you know i tolerate the shipping less than you do.”
you prayed that your reassurance would help, but when he simply shrugged you knew it was too much. sometimes chan’s anxiety got the better of him, and in those times it was hard to get through to him. even if he knew you were telling the truth, something in the back of his head told him that maybe he wasn’t good enough.
but you persisted.
“no one could ever compare to you, my love. you’re my hope, my light. and no matter who comes along, they could never make me feel as much love and appreciation as you.”
a small smile tugged at his lips, and you breathed a sigh of relief that your words were getting through to him.
“i know,” chris mumbled through his ambivalent expression. “i know, and i have no reason to feel like this. i’m sorry, baby, i didn’t mean to worry you, i just get scared one day you’ll realize you could do better.”
you both let out a little chuckle, amused by the way you were both talking like the end of the world was beginning. you softly kissed his full lips, with one last promise of forever in your throat.
“chris, baby. i get it. you don’t have to apologize. just remember that i got paid to kiss him as a character, while in character,” you jabbed him in the chest lightly to emphasize your point. “but you - not him, nor anyone else - you are the one i come home to at the end of the day.”
his face was flushed with emotion, shining through his eyes and into the way his dimples creased his skin as he looked at you with so much love you thought you would burst into a heap of fluff.
“i chose you, chris. i choose you everyday, and i always will.”
ears flushed slightly red, overwhelmed with your confession, chan held his hand out, pinky pointed towards you.
“we’ll always choose each other, yeah? forever. pinky promise?”
wrapping your pinky finger around his, you kissed his cheek gently, reveling in the way he smelt like home.
“pinky promise.”
taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @downtherabbithole01 @amara-mars @demetrisscarf
synopsis : it's time for chan to face the consequences of his decision towards inka.
word count : 1.1k>
« can we talk? » inka's voice was sharp, as sharp as the blade of a kitchen knife. chan frowned, turning his face to the younger woman who had her arms crossed against her chest. she seemed preoccupied, hurt, angry, but the leader could not say why.
when she turned to go to a room farther away, out of sight, he trotted behind her to join her, not really sure what she suddenly wanted to talk to him about. as he locked the door behind him, inka had her back to him, sighing loudly enough for him to hear her.
« so.. » she began softly, finally deigning to face chan who still seemed to be in total incomprehension, « when were you going to tell me? »
the young adult raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side to show his incomprehension. inka stuck her tongue against the inside of her cheek, trying her best not to strangle him. approaching little by little, she kept her arms crossed against her chest, almost digging her nails into her skin to avoid any inappropriate gestures. « you really don't know what i'm talking about? » she continued in a cold tone, which made the older man's blood run cold.as far as he could remember, he had only seen inka this scary and angry once — and he clearly didn't want to deal with her in those moments.
« if i tell you, lee minho and me, you understand a little more? » and suddenly, chan seemed to lose all his means, not knowing what to say or do. removing his hands from his pockets, he observed for a long time the furious look of the young woman facing him, and he understood that she knew everything, « listen, kalaya, i can- »
« uh uh, no. you listen to me. » she said in a nervous laugh, approaching him with a decided step, pointing her accusing index finger on his chest, « i would never have believed it coming from you, you can't even imagine how mad i am at you. »
chan didn't know what to say, he just stood there listening to her, accepting the fact that he had probably screwed up on this one. « not only did you not think for a second about the harm that this decision could do to me, but on top of that you asked minho not to tell me about your decision?! » — resumed inka with a cracking and broken voice, hitting his chest with her finger. it felt like stabbing to chan, who felt terribly guilty.
« i never thought you would put the safety of your career before the happiness of your friend, » suddenly, inka began to sob in anger, walking away from him and pacing the room, « of all the people around me, you are the last person i thought would do this to me, chan. »
chan felt his heart clench in his chest, like an insurmountable bad pain. his arms remained loose along his chest, while he dared to take a step towards the girl, who – unfortunately for him, took a step backwards.
« no, don't. i am extremely disappointed, you have no idea how much.. » sniffing with her back to him, inka tried to find a distraction outside to stop herself from crying, « you could have told me about it, everything would have been easier. »
« and what? would you have listened to me? » answered chan, who suddenly found himself quite annoyed. he knew he had made a difficult decision, but it was surely not the wrong one. biting her lip to keep from screaming, inka looked at the leader with venom in her eyes, shaking her head negatively, « of course not. that's why you talked to minho instead of me. »
« you're still a kid, you wouldn't have understood my decision. » he tried to defend himself, but the further we went, the more his words sank in. he had no real argument, and being gratuitously hurtful was not the answer. « i am still a kid? » — a scoff left the brunette's lips as she pointed her index at herself, raising an eyebrow brazenly.
chan sighed as he came to rub his temples, he was sorely missing his patient at the moment, this situation tending him bitterly. « listen kalaya, you had just debuted in our group, a love scandal would not have been good for our career. »
« oh come on, everyone has the right to be in love, and it's not because i'm a kpop idol that i don't have the right to be happy. » chan seemed to be really losing his patience, then he approached inka, placing his hands on her shoulders to hold her in place, despite her protests, « listen to me now. »
« you would have wanted to fuck up everything for a passing infatuation? people would not have taken you seriously anymore. » inka watched him for a long time, harshly and coldly, and he swore that if her eyes could shoot lightning, he would have been six feet under for a long time. then she pushed him as hard as she could, almost knocking him backwards. « minho wasn't just a passing infatuation, » she says while joining the door of the room, ready to leave, before she turns back a few seconds, « i was destroyed and you didn't care. »
« do you realize that i have waited a whole year to know the truth? that i spent entire nights crying and wondering what i had done wrong to make him stop loving me? do you realize how unhappy i was? » a sniff from the girl drew the boy's attention, who placed his sorry gaze on her tear-painted face, which made her instantly regret confiding in someone who didn't give a shit about her well-being, « forget that. you wouldn't understand. »
« but, you know what hurts me the most? the fact that you didn't even try to trust me. » furiously wiping the tears from her cheeks, kalaya bit her lip so hard that it end up bleeding, but she continued to speak all the same, ignoring the metallic taste that intruded in her mouth, « now that i understand that your career is more important than your friend's happiness, i don't want to deal with you anymore. i'm done. »
a sigh left her lips as she finally left the room, leaving a dejected chan behind. he felt bad, helpless and defeated, as if the whole weight of the world was crushed on his shoulders. he didn't know how he could fix things, but he had to find a solution as soon as possible, otherwise, everything could quickly get out of hand.
but apart from that, one question kept running through his head : what did she mean by, “i'm done”?
