#chanminibuns

[micsthegreat]

Jhasmine Yvonne Fria

I know na kapag nabasa mo to, you won’t be happy.

Right now, I am sad and all I wanna do is follow you. Like, seriously, I would like to kill myself just to be free from this sadness. This is not right, I know. But I can’t do anything just to be happy..

Oh yes. Of course, sometimes, I am happy. But when I’m sad, sobrang extreme. Parang lubog na lubog. :(

You know naman what happened yesterday diba? (and of course nung mga nakaraang araw din. I know you’re always by my side kaya nakabantay ka sakin lagi). You know naman na I like Karl, right? And I’m trying my best just to be close sa kanya. You know me. Alam mong I like the person if mage-effort akong mapalapit sa kanya. And guess what, sobra-sobrang effort na yung gunagawa ko para lang mapalapit sa kanya.

Jhas, I like him. Sobra!! I know, kung nandito ka lang, may masasabi ka na namang mali sa kanya. But for me, he’s perfect. Okay, I know naka-kunot na naman yung noo mo. Let me explain first. Kaya ko nasabing perfect siya, eh siguro dahil nga sa gusto ko siya. Diba ganun naman yun? Na kapag gusto mo yung isang tao, magiging perfect siya sa paningin mo. 

Pero ayun nga. Since ang perfect nya, sobrang nada-down ako. He doesn’t like me. That’s for sure. And I can’t do anything for him to like me because I’m not likeable. I’m a mess. Who would like to be with a mess, right? And pano nya ako magugustuhan eh perfect nga siya. Ang gwapo nya, mukhang matalino, mayaman, mabait. What else could I ask for, diba? Samantalang ako, I’m not beautiful, di ako mayaman, minsan shunga ako, and maldita ako. So anong magugustuhan nya sakin, right? Ang nega ko, I know. Pero that’s the truth eh. Wala akong magagawa. :(

So ayun. I like this guy pero I don’t know if he likes me the way I like him. I like him but I know I’m far from being likeable. Nilalamon ako ng insecurities ko. Parang unti-unti akong tinutunaw ng takot ko. Jhas bakit ganito T_T

Tapos eto pa. Diba nakilala na ni papa. Tapos parang wala silang tiwala saken. Nakakatampo kaya yung ganon. Di ako makapagkwento sa kanila kasi negative agad yung iniisip nila. Hayyyy.

Nag-ooverthink na naman ako. Naalala ko, you told me na wag akong mag-overthing. But di ko mapigilan. Ginagawa kong komplikado lahat ng bagay. :(

Jhas please enlighten me. :( Naiiyak ako. :(

[micsthegreat]

And even if I cry a thousand tears tonight, would you come back to me?

12 days have passed and it still hurts. It hurts more each and every day..

You told me not to think too much about this, but how? How can I not think about you leaving without giving any reason at all? How can I do better if you’re not here? How can I not over think if you’re the reason why I’m over thinking?

It’s so unfair. How can you leave without even telling the reason why..

I somehow blame myself for what you did. I could have done something to save you but I did nothing.. I could have saved you from the misery and the darkness.. I could have lighten your way.. I could have been there for you and comfort you during the days of your sadness.. I could have been your superhero, if only my spider sense worked better..

Please let me know the reason why. Please at least give me a clue on who to blame. I want to know the reason why you did that.

It’s been almost 2 weeks and I’m still sad about what happened. It’s like waking up each morning thinking that you’re gone and you’ll never return.. 

Why do you have to go? Why do you have to leave me heartbroken? Why do you have to leave me clueless?

Just when I thought I could be with you for a longer time. It vanished :( 

I lost my heart. I lost my soulmate. I lost my other half. :(

I’m still sad.. I’m still hurting.. I’m still broken. :(

If I could ask for another lifetime with you, I would do anything just to have that..

You are forever missed, my baby.. I missed you, I am missing you, and I will miss you :(

I love you, my angel!! @chanminibuns