You are allowed / to watch the sun swallow him whole and burn him up / to stain your fingers to the bone holding him together / to count the constellations in his eyes as they blink out / You are not allowed / to save him.
iv.
Rain was dripping from the eaves, only noticeable when Shunsui listened for it. It was a steady drizzle outside, one of those misty clouded days when the clouds hung low in the skies above and banks of fog were left to march down the green banks of the mountainsides like flocks of mist-coated sheep that frolicked down the slopes to play in the valleys below. The greens were saturated into darker shades than the verdant emeralds and beryls they could become when the sun was in the skies above. Though he wouldn't say it aloud, Shunsui sometimes enjoyed days like this quite a bit. It seemed like the world would slow down and take a breather, encouraging folks to think longer, deeper thoughts and to willingly take things down to a far more casual level. They were excellent days, when the rain would pour over the lands and cascade in runnels of fluid from eaves and storm drains, filling up barrels and soaking the ground until the rich scent of petrichor seemed to waft into one's nose.
They were also days when his lover's illness might flare up for reasons related to his lungs... and what was housed there.
... continue reading CHAPTER 4, KAMIKAKE.