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Okay, a few extra observations, now that I've been able to read both chapters 62 and 63 of Saezuru!

First, from chapter 62, Doumeki really still seems to believe that Yashiro "rejected" him in the past. I always thought maybe Doumeki understood, at least in part, that Yashiro left him because he was trying to protect him, but seeing his depressed state here, the sense of resignation in him, and also the way he stopped short of expressing his true feelings in the last chapter, it seems as if Doumeki really didn't know. I mean, he should have, because even Kagayama (Mr. Obtuse) knows that the reason Yashiro pushed Doumeki away wasn't because he didn't want him, but because he was trying to protect him. Kagayama and Kuga also express here the underlying reason why Yashiro pushed Doumeki away, which was to get him away from the world of the Yakuza. Kagayama tells Doumeki that Kuga was disappointed when he'd heard Doumeki joined the Yakuza, and then he tells Doumeki that Yashiro was trying to do what was best for him in response to Doumeki saying Yashiro "threw him away". Doumeki acts confused and wonders, if that was the case, why didn't Yashiro do the same for Nanahara. Doumeki clearly still doesn't grasp the fact that Yashiro genuinely wanted to protect him from that world because he didn't think Doumeki belonged in it, and because he loves him. Yashiro saw Doumeki as too pure for the world of the Yakuza, saw his own presence in Doumeki's life as corrupting and as endangering to Doumeki's well-being. It's just crazy to me that Doumeki still doesn't get this. He's comparing his situation to Nanahara, but Nanahara's relationship with Yashiro is completely different to Doumeki's, and Yashiro never believed Nanahara was ill-suited for the Yakuza. Yashiro protected Nanahara in a way that was specifically beneficial to Nanahara himself, and he tried to do the same for Doumeki by pushing him out of that world and back to his family.

Someone needs to knock Doumeki on the head, man, lol.

Then, for chapter 63, this was a pivotal chapter, and a turning point.

I've already spoken about the exchange between Yashiro and Misumi, and seeing the actual panels now, and the exact words spoken, I think it's indisputable at this point that Misumi is going to be a big problem for both Yashiro and Doumeki. His entire demeanor when he's grilling Yashiro about Doumeki, and then his expression when he forbids Yashiro from seeing Doumeki again, screams fury. I think, if he finds out Yashiro went to see Doumeki again after he expressly ordered him not to, Misumi is going to be beyond pissed, and that's incredibly scary. Yashiro of course sees right through Misumi's manipulations. He knows what he's doing, that he's staking his claim to Yashiro by dragging him further in, tasking him with getting the guns back and capturing Kai. Yashiro's unease at Misumi's knowledge of his involvement with Doumeki also, I think, underscores just how dangerous Misumi might end up being. Yashiro clearly doesn't want him knowing at all about Doumeki, because I think Yashiro knows how dangerous and violent Misumi really is. He's a major threat and I genuinely feel something awful may happen with him involved.

Then, finally, we get Yashiro coming to Doumeki's apartment, and this is really the most important scene in the chapter, and a huge point of development since the time skip itself. Yashiro sees Izumi at Doumeki's apartment and begins to excuse himself, saying he'll leave. It's clear Yashiro is still under the impression here that Doumeki and Izumi are romantically involved, even as Yashiro has finally begun to realize that Doumeki isn't as changed as he presented himself to be. This moment was pretty heartbreaking, I think. Yashiro is still struggling to believe that Doumeki cares about him, and his readiness to leave feels almost like resignation, like he was ready to accept that whatever he and Doumeki had had in the past is over. But of course, then we get Doumeki pushing himself from bed and literally grasping onto Yashiro in a desperate attempt to make him stay. Izumi's reaction here was really interesting, too. She realized, in that moment, that Yashiro was that "someone" that Doumeki's had his mind on this whole time. I think there's an implication here that Izumi does have feelings for Doumeki, but she also readily capitulates when she sees the power of Doumeki's feelings for Yashiro. It's also interesting what she says about how it was "more convenient" for Doumeki to come over to her apartment when Kamiya is questioning her about why they lied about the status of their relationship. On its face, you would think she's simply referring to it being easier to give Doumeki his back tattoo with him coming to her place, if people thought they had a romantic relationship, but I think it could also be understood as Doumeki using Izumi as cover, to hide his real feelings from Yashiro. Doumeki's been trying to prevent Yashiro from "abandoning him" again by feigning indifference, and letting Yashiro believe he's romantically involved with Izumi. So I think when Izumi says here that it was more convenient, she's also referring to Doumeki being able to maintain his act of indifference with Yashiro.

Of course, that's all undone, now. Doumeki is no longer able to hide his true feelings, and the fact that Yashiro showed up at his apartment, directly defying Misumi's orders at that, indicates to me that Yashiro is on the cusp of expressing his true feelings as well. Similarly to how Doumeki isn't able to hide his true feelings now, knowing Doumeki is physically hurt and in danger from Tsunakawa has compelled him to disobey Misumi and come to Doumeki directly. He isn't able to ignore his concern for Doumeki, and that makes his feelings obvious. And after Doumeki gets out of bed and begs Yashiro not to leave, there's no way Yashiro can continue to believe that Doumeki doesn't feel about him the same way he did before the time skip. And I think that's all Yashiro's really needed this whole time, was to know Doumeki still loved him. I think him believing otherwise is the only reason Yashiro's kept himself from telling Doumeki how he feels. So I think with the next chapters, we'll finally see Yashiro tell Doumeki the truth, whether in words or otherwise. Of course, Yashiro's been showing Doumeki he loves him since the start, not in words, but in action. Doumeki just needs to smarten up a little and realize the reason Yashiro pushed him away wasn't because he didn't want him, but because he cared about him.

What's scary about this situation is, again, Misumi, and what he'll do if he finds out Yashiro and Doumeki are together. It could be a situation where Doumeki finally realizes how deeply Yashiro cares for him when Yashiro does something self-sacrificial for his sake. My gut feeling is that Misumi would go after Doumeki if he finds out Yashiro wants to be with him, since he's obviously not going to intentionally kill Yashiro. Misumi sees Yashiro as his property, basically, and he doesn't want to damage what's his. That's his thinking, I feel. Again, that's all just speculation on my part about how this could play out, but I wouldn't be surprised.

I think Doumeki in some ways needs to learn a lesson about why him rejecting a second chance with his mother and sister, instead joining the Yakuza, after Yashiro worked so hard and sacrificed so much to get him out, was a mistake. And what harder way would there be to learn that lesson than through Yashiro paying for it?

But I could be totally wrong about that. It depends entirely on whether Yoneda intends for this story to have a happy or tragic ending, lol. It could also be somewhere in between, something more bittersweet.

Anyway, it's going to be super exciting seeing how this all plays out over the next few chapters! I hope we get another one relatively soon!

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #chapter 62 #chapter 63 #Yashiro #Doumeki #Misumi