Summary: Written for Intrulogical Week 2022 @intrulogicalweek
Logan is stuck in Limbo until the Afterlife Registration Bureau processes his case so he can properly move onto a afterlife, whether that is heaven, hell, reincarnation or something else. While wandering around aimlessly, he’s approached by a demon that introduces himself as Remus and offers him a quicker way to the next life.
Content Warnings: Food, Discussion of Past Lives
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“Salutations Remus.”
“There you are! I almost thought you changed your mind!” Remus grinned at Logan. Today the demon was dressed in what Logan would consider a more reasonable outfit than the day before with black, ripped pants that covered his entire legs, though paired with the same boots and a shirt that had more colors than Logan had seen since he got to Limbo.
“I apologize, I did not remember the path as well as I thought I did,” he explained, straightening his tie. As a pair the two must look very odd since Logan’s shirt was neatly tucked into his pants and without a wrinkle on it. Add to that his dress shoes and slacks, the two couldn’t have more different styles.
Remus took a look around. “Yeah, this place doesn’t really have anything that makes it stand out, huh? You know what, I’ll take you back to your apartment later, then I can pick you up there next time.”
“That is satisfactory.”
“Great! Let’s get to todays challenge! I need you to take my hand.” Logan raised a brow but didn’t argue. “Better press those teeth together, you don’t wanna bite your tongue!” Remus warned as the other takes his hand and before Logan can ask what he means by that, he’s pulled through a portal of some kind. Thankfully he heeded Remus’ warning because as the land on the other side, the impact would have for sure clacked his teeth together rather forcefully.
“Welcome to Sector P!” Remus announced and Logan takes a moment to look around. They stood on a street, similar to the ones in his own sector, but instead of apartment buildings – though he could see lots of them, too, just a bit further away – it was lined with restaurants. Any food imaginable was advertised with blinking signage, not as brilliant as on earth, they were still in Limbo after all, but it was much livelier than in the sector Logan was used to.
“I was under the impression that all sectors were the same,” he said after clearing his throat.
“Yeah, most would. They don’t really tell you that they group you based on like one defining characteristic.” Remus starts wandering down the road, eyeing the different signs. Logan follows, brows pinched.
“What characteristics?”
“Well, this is the sector for the foodies. There’s one for gamblers, nature lovers, children, animal people and so on. The ARB picks one out that seems to fit the best and sends you there.”
“I understand, I think. But what is my sector about then? It’s a lot emptier.”
“I think Sector G is mostly for loners and intellectuals. You had a library at one point but that apparently led to some fights about books and heated debates.” Remus used air quotes as he said ‘heated’. “It caused more trouble than it was worth, so they just put some random, fancy books in your rooms and hoped that would keep you entertained for long enough.”
Indeed, there had been some books in Logan’s apartment, and despite them not catering to his specific tastes, he had read them since there was nothing else to do, but he finished them a while ago and had no desire to revisit them. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that his neighbors could have different ones he could borrow.
“Here we are!” Remus called, pulling Logan out of his thoughts. They stood in front of a restaurant that advertised their all-you-can-eat buffet. With a grin, Remus led Logan inside. Immediately they were assaulted with an almost overwhelming mix of different smells. They all came from the buffet that had a bigger selection than Logan had ever seen.
“This seems… excessive,” he commented, making Remus giggle.
“You are the kind of person that would say that. You’re challenge for today is to try everything here.”
“Everything?” Logan asked, eyes wide. “There is no way I can eat that much.”
“Sure you can, if you put your mind to it!”
“What about allergies?” Logan didn’t have any, but he was willing to fake one. Remus bellowed out a laugh.
“You’re dead! You can’t have allergies!”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t have a flesh prison anymore that could react badly to anything here. You don’t need to breathe anymore either. You’re a soul, you don’t need sustenance. I could stab you and nothing would happen.”
Logan furrowed his brows in thought. “But I still feel pain. I even cut myself before.”
“That’s because you’re used to having a flesh prison. You expect to feel pain, so you feel pain.”
“You mean it’s like a pavlovian response?”
“Yeah, essentially. It’s a habit your soul isn’t aware of.”
“I see. But then what is the point of the restaurant if no one here needs to eat?”
“Questions like that are exactly why you don’t have any in your sector. Some people enjoy the taste of food, even if it doesn’t get them anything else. Now, no more questions, you don’t have forever.” Remus pulled Logan over to a table where he plops down in a seat. “Go on, get a selection. I’ll wait here.”
“If you insist,” Logan sighs and gets to work. Deciding to start at the salad bar, he filled a bowl with all different types of leaves, toppings, and sauces, before returning to Remus.
“Starting light, are we?” he asked with his typical grin. Logan simply nodded.
“I did not experiment much with food during my lifetime, so I thought I would start with what is familiar.”
“Smart but boring.”
“I am not in the intellectual sector for nothing,” Logan commented dryly, earning another laugh from Remus.
“Tell me why else you’re there,” he asked, propping up his chin on his hands and studying Logan intently as he takes the first bite of his salad.
“I was a professor in life. I have a doctorate in astronomy.”
“Uhh, I love space!” Remus exclaims, wiggling in his seat. “It’s a shame I rarely get to see it. Tell me more.”
So, during the time it took Logan to eat his salad, they discussed space and Logan’s research. In the time it took Logan to fill his plate a second time, this time with an array of appetizers, Remus decided he wanted to change topics.
“What about family, Nerdy Wolverine? Ever got married?” he asked before Logan had even sat back down.
“No. I had a few relationships during my twenties and at the beginning of my thirties, but they didn’t last that long. I never missed it, however.”
“Yeah, that checks out, I guess.”
“What about you?” Logan shot back, a bit offended by Remus dismissive comment.
“I never got married when I was alive, but I’ve got-“
“Wait a minute,” Logan interrupts. “You were alive once? A human, I mean?”
“Yeah. Was ages ago, but yeah.”
“How did you become” – Logan gestures to his horns and wings – “a demon then? I thought you were created like that.”
“There are some demons and angels like that, mostly the oldest ones, but I think most of us are converted from human souls after being alive.”
“Did you choose to become a demon then?”
“Yeah! I was in heaven for a while, but it was like super boring and then I met Janny and he showed me how fun things can be, so I decided to become a demon and stick with him. We’ve been together ever since.”
“Fascinating. What about your family then? If you had one, I mean.”
“I wasn’t really close to anyone but my brother. We were soldiers, born and bred, pretty much, so we didn’t get a lot of parental love if you know what I mean. But me and Ro got along for the most part. Ended up becoming war heroes and died on a battlefield. Got us both into heaven and while I went down to hell, Ro stayed up there and became an angel. We still hang out from time to time.”
“That’s allowed? Aren’t heaven and hell enemies?”
“They used to be but not anymore really since there are way too many souls nowadays. It’s why this whole Limbo system exists; they would be overrun otherwise.”
They continued like that for hours. Remus would ask Logan about his life on earth and Logan would inquire about the afterlife while slowly making his way through the assortment of dishes. Neither of them really paid attention to that though, too enthralled by their discussion.
Eventually Logan arrived at the table with one last plate.
“This should be all that I’m missing. I don’t feel like I ate all that much.”
“Like I said when we came here, you don’t have a flesh prison anymore, you don’t have a stomach you can fill.”
“And I suppose since I was so focused on our discussion, I didn’t even register how much I ate which is why it didn’t trigger the pavlovian response.”
“Sounds legit to me,” Remus shrugged and watched as Logan finished the last of the dishes. “Congrats, Wristwatch, you passed challenge one!”
“Thank you, Remus. I must say this was more delightful than I thought. You are a good conversationalist.”
“Aw, thanks, Lo Lo! I had fun, too. But it’s time to go back. Gimme your hand.”
Logan blinked. “Don’t we have to pay?”
Remus burst out laughing. “Pay with what? We don’t have money here. And have you seen even one employee around here?”
“I haven’t but… Where does the food come from then?”
“Don’t question everything, dork. Now let’s go.”
Logan wanted to protest more but he stopped himself. He had taken up a lot of Remus’ time already and they would meet again soon, so he could postpone his curiosity for now.
“Very well then.” He takes Remus hand and is pulled through another portal.
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“So, how was your day with the stuck-up?” Janus asked later that day when Remus once again deposited himself on his lap.
“Fun! Got a lot of info about him. He was a professor for astronomy! He told me lots of space facts!”
“Sounds wonderful, dear.”
“Yeah, and tomorrow I’m gonna take him to Sector W.”
“Isn’t that the sector full of… Are you sure that is a good idea, Muse?”
“It’s gonna be fun, don’t worry!”
“I doubt he will find it funny.”
“I’m gonna make it up to him after. But first I really want to rile him up. He’s hot when he’s passionate.”
Janus sighed. He had a feeling that he would need to step in before the seven challenges were done.
