A Lesson In Self Hatred: Part 1
My face is numb, i can feel their wooden training stick bashing against my body. They were torturing me again, but for what i can't remember. I laid there still feigning death, as if that not resisting would make them stop. There's another bruise, and another- and a broken rib. The egged me on, they wanted me to fight back, but I just laid there, my eyes wide open tears running down my face, but no sound escaped my lips; I wouldn't give them the satisfaction they craved.
"Come on Karono you 'Gray' you nothing!" That's Maire's voice alright, he has the nerves to call me a gray, just because i can't use the light. they're so-
"Hnnn." I couldn't hold it anymore, this time it was my lung. I can feel it filling with blood as I turn to my side gasping for air. Finally, the beating has stopped- 'seventeen minutes, four seconds; a new record.' I hear the pattering of their feet running off, the cowards couldn't even kill me, even though I've begged them once, or twice. I start climbing up the wall to try and get to my feet, but it's no use, I fall back down to my knees, and now i start weezing, my breath is shortened, I might actually die here in these hallways i've become 'so fond of'. I pass out finally, and i feel as thought i'm being lifted into the air, I hear footsteps; just one set this time. I hear her voice, the voice of an angel, my surrogate has rescued me. 'Damn, am I really this weak?'
"Karono" I hear her voice after what seems like years of darkness. I don't answer at first, it's taking some time to remember how to speak.
"Karono" my body is nudged, how do numbers work again? my mind is on fire right now.
"Karono, please wake up." 1-2-3-4-5 right?
My eyes finally open, and i see her face, her beautiful perfect face, this is the face of my surrogate, she saved me right? yes yes she did. Dammit think straight.
"Kira." My voice cracks, and i sit up, Taihza must've been here otherwise my ribs just yelled at me for sitting, my face is still in pain, and my left eye is forced shut, I guess she can't heal everything.
"Oh Karono!" She embraces me, and there goes my rib again. I hide the pain, but she know. She retreats, and calls back in taihza, whom i assume was elsewhere. I touch my side and feel the pulsating bruise; it was only three hours ago.
"What time is it?" I ask dumbly.
"It's eight fourty nine into the new day." she states worried as usual. I stand up right as Taihza steps in. she looks like she's had a busy night. her clothes smell pretty foul, and her eyes are bruised from lack of sleep. I raise my shirt up as she presses her clammy hands onto my side; it's kind of gross. She then makes an incantation of some sort and i hear my ribs crack back into place. I don't understand how she's able to fix broken bones but swelling in the eyes are too 'incomprehensible' to her. I thank her, and she bows and leaves. She's so damn quiet all the time. Kira thanks her aswell as she looks back to me with her worried surrogate eyes.
"who did this to you?" she asks knowing that i won't tell her.
"Was it Maire again?" she insisted this time, i might as well give her what she wants.
"I don't know." I instigate
"Karono, I know it's maire, if you just tell me i can help you, i can get him removed from the academy and-"
"That's what he wants, he wants to prove to everyone how weak I am for being a Gray i won't let it happen. Practice is in three hours before suns peak, so I will get better, and I will fight him." she looks at me with those bright amber eyes, worried for my sake, but i ignore them, those stopped working on me almost a year after I got here.
"Why?" she even dared to ask. "Why put yourself through all of this torment, just to prove a point?" Obviously, i don't answer.
"Because, if i can beat all of them, those sundrops, i can beat him" She shakes her head, knowing of the man i speak of.
"If i let them get the better of me, if i let them see me weakened, then this will all have been for nothing. I will defeat Maire today, i will get the councils approval, and i will kill the Dark man." I have goosebumps. She looks at me with those surrogate eyes, and nods, approvingly or not i cannot tell.
By the time we finish up in the medical wing it's already ten minutes till suns peak, and i can finally see out of my left eye, barely. I manage to fit into my uniform and limp towards the training halls with Kira, I can tell she's worried. we enter the hall just in time for roll call, he calls my name for what i hope is the first time, and i answer allowed.
"HERE!" As i limp into the room, little childish sunspot giggles are heard, as i straighten myself, and force myself to walk normally. i sit uncomfortably in my small secluded section. Maire has a grin on his face that i cannot wait to rip off. I wiated as the others had their chance to prove their 'strength' to the council, this practice would determine who would be selected to continue their training, I was lucky to even had made it this far. You see, I don't have any powers, they do. They can use the light to create things, or just blast it at you, i just have my wits, and my personal vendetta to deal with; and that's why I'll never lose.
"Karono, Maire" Good; i hear them call our names like Maire and i both knew, I stood up wincing i went to the rack of wooden swords and picked one up, as did Maire.
"You feeling okay Gray?" he dared to ask me. I smiled at him, he knew he couldn't beat me in an even match, so i had to give him the handicap.
"Wait!" one of the council members spoke up.
"This one is injured, he should not be allowed to participate." Maire dirty smile crept along his face as my grip on the handle of my sword nearly shattered it.
"I'm Fine!" I declared allowed as my voice croaked, the children laughed once more.
"I will not permit an injured sheep to be sent to an early grave" or some sort of stupid metaphor.
"Are you afraid i'll win?" I asked hearing Kira shush me from behind.
"I refuse to accept this, and demand a chance." The other council members all look at each other and nod slightly; good. I walk to the center of the ring, it was circular, and in the middle were two lines on each side. The game was simple, first to five wins. it will be that simple. Maire finally picked out a sword, one of the ones used to beat me i assume by his smirk.
"Ready to lose?" his screechy voice wailed out, I said nothing. the referee finally made his way to our positions as he made sure we were both ready. he raised his hand and time froze. I lunged in blindly ready to win this fight quick, my feet acted fast, and i was in motion even before Maire had a chance to react, my sword was raised back meant to jab him in his smug throat, somehow, I don't know how, he managed to deflect my attack so swiftly, as he pulled his blade away, winding the attack right into my side- Damn him, my ribs again.
"GYAH!" there was a loud crack, and my ribs were broken again, dammit, dammit, dammit, get up
"Three Points!" WHAT!? three points my ass, get up Karono, not now. i have to get up. I forced my self up, and limped to a corner. Kira came to my aid, but i raised my hand. I had to do this. i leaned forward to craddle the pain, and leaned back, trying to numb everything. If i can't feel it, it won't hurt. I went back into the center and got into position, the ref raised his hand, and Maire gets cocky he rushes me, and i easily see his attack, i deflect and tap his shoulder.
"One Point!" Good, good, i smile at him, knowing i could have gotten more, but i'm willing to take my time. Ref hands raise and we both back off, and circle each other, looking for an opening, he knows better now, and so do I. He however doesn't know that i know his style, i know each, and every attack he can possibly make from his stance and i know how to block each other. I feint to the left with my sword, and he takes the bait I then come back around and stab him in the stomach-
"One point!" but i'm not finished, he lowers his defense, and i easily draw my sword up and crush it against is good shoulder, there's a loud crunch and almost drops to a knee, that wouldn't been match.
"One point." fair enough, it's three to three, and I can win. I will win. We head back to the center and settle in, ref raises hand and Dammit, i forgot about the light. Maire chucks a ball of concussive light towards me using his sword as a conduit, the blast chucks into me, but i handle it pretty well. I draw my sword, and go in for the kill, but he keeps his range chucking more blasts at me, i deflect; one, two, three, four- dammit kid stop. I rush in closing the gap as he charges his sword. I rush in for a stab, and he brings his energized sword on top of mine breaking mine in half. Maire then swings the sword back up towards me, but i'm too fast, i then grab onto his hands still pushing energy through, as I switch my hips, and flip him onto his back. I then take his charged sword and my broke one and scissor them between his neck.
"Two points" I win. I drop my sword, and fling what little energy is left from his sword out so he can't use it against me, i then turn away to take my victory, but I come back, and smack the sword against Maire's skull, I beat him like the sick dog he is, I bash, and cave his skull in, and i don't stop, my screams are loud, and violent as a sick smile twists on my face. His disgusting sunspot blood drenches me, and no one is stopping me, they just watch.
I blink a few times and look down, Maire is right bellow me, head still ugly, and fine, i shake my head, and drop the sword at his side. I start walking towards Kira for approval, but i just see her lips saying 'look out'. Look out for- DAMMIT MAIRE! my head is on fire, and there's a rining in my ears. he picked up his sword, and swung it against my head, I stumble away, and he swings again, i'm just barely conscious enough to duck out of the way. Maire is screaming with defeat. He chucks a blast and misses me by a mile, i regain my sight just as he's about to swing. I cup the blade under my arm; still taking the hit, as i wrap my leg around his and twist- hard, his leg snaps under the weight of mine as he let's out a shrilling whine.
"Good boy." I say letting all of his pride drain into me. I push him off of me, as the council member begin to ramble on about something unimportant. All that matters is I won, and Maire is now physically unable to compete. I made sure it was a permanent break.
