#character desserts

[user-thirt3en]

BG3 Characters & Their Desserts

You know what time it is. It’s time to talk like an asshole who’s never satisfied about fandom favorites. This addition was unavoidable, so I welcome you to Baulder’s Gate 3 desserts via their romancable character. Hope this one tickles your fucking fancy.

Astarion - candied blood oranges. Posh ass isn’t worth the drama, yet here we are, eatin.’

Karlach - cinnamon rolls. I’d motorboat a pan of these until my face burned off. Oh, Karlach too.

Lae’zel - grass jelly. It’s an acquired taste, but there’s a loving metaphor if you just add sugar.

Shadowheart - gingersnaps. She’ll spit in your mouth, then kiss your forehead. Cūnt energy.

Gale - ube butter mochi. A lot can be said for a squishy wizard in purple, but I won’t admit it.

Halsin - fruits of the forest pie. Listen, he’s a bear and I want to lick berries off his tits.

[user-thirt3en]

Doctor Who Desserts

Doctors 9-12 deserve a treat because triggering universal genocide only to rewrite the fabrication of time to prevent that mistake from ever happening is hard work. Enjoy this edition of ‘Character Desserts’ and be sure to let me know what you might want to see next, or whatever.

The Ninth: red velvet cake. Brother told a Dalek to k!ll itself… that screams “I lick the fork clean.”

The Tenth: fairy cake because sprinkles are cute until you grow up. Then they harden. No mercy.

The Eleventh: blueberry scone. Gives the most top tier English vibes. Brilliant boy. Good boy.

The Twelfth: licorice all sorts. He’s old and still gets pussy regardless of his grey. Dude is solid.