I think one of the most tragic character tropes is the "heir" archetype in school or university settings. It’s really easy to romanticize, the wealth, the stability, but there’s something to it that stings.
They walk through classrooms, listening to lectures on fields they’ll never touch, they’re exposed to new ideas, discovering sparks of passion in the smallest, most unexpected things, yet are forced to only watch that light flicker out because there’s no room for it where they’re going.
It feels worse when they tuck away that knowledge in the back of their mind, telling themselves not to get too attached, not to dream too vividly, because there’s already a job waiting for them back home.
While classmates scramble to perfect their resumes, panic over the unknown paths ahead, and carefully pick internships that align with their dreams, you stand in the background never really participating the way your classmates do.
Because you don’t get to choose, you just never did. No internships to pick from, no wondering if you should follow passion or practicality. The choice was made long before something in you even understood what it meant, and all roads lead back to that one, singular expectation.
"What’s the point in trying when I’ll always end up at the same conclusion?" Oh Idia 💔 in another life, you got to choose
(dreadfully inspired to write this after someone told me, "Idia's club card looks the happiest I've ever seen him" AHHHHHKASHDFADS GET OUT OF MY HEAD)
I love writing Astarion talking to inanimate objects that serve as a metaphor of himself. One might say that is all I write about, in fact.
(very sorry to the ppl who follow me for non-astarion things)
The mirror used here is a screenshot of Astarion's actual mirror in the game! Original screenshot is from this reddit post by u/Fluffy-Rip-8233 and I later added all the filters and little detailings. ♥︎
"You're not meant to be a martyr. Why is it death you crave?"
"Death is all I know."
It was a dark reflection, but one that had crossed his mind before. Death was the only justice in this world. It did not discriminate. No amount youth or age could save one from its dark embrace. Saint or sinner, there is an end for all. An end waited for him, one day. The thought didn't scare him. It was simply a truth, the only truth. Everyone dies. Every person dies.
But was he a person? Did death await a sick thing like him? Would death take something that defied it so?
Or was he death? Was the chill of his skin and stillness of his heart a symptom of some unknown destiny? Was he not the antithesis of death, but the embodiment of it?
He hoped one day to meet death, if only to prove that it wasn't inside him already. He wished to one day greet his end with a sigh of relief. He awaited that finality so at last he would know he was not above it, that at least he had some small piece of humanity.
Finnian wanted to die, just to know that he could.
"For a sans with the name "Dust", he sure does leave such a grossly large amount of dust. But a little dirt never hurt, we are one step closer to our plans."
"I somewhat wonder... who it their right mind would put so many people in despair."
"In despair of living... in despair of existing."
"It may be hard to explain, despite me being 'dead', I'm still a living and walking making. So the concept of being 'alive' doesn't matter for undead organisms to not count as living and existing makings."
"Hmm, if I were someone giving the power to create, in reason for research and tests of discovery. I wouldn't simply make the things out if the blue... I would have to plan long and think indefinitely to what I want to create, the purpose in doing so, and how I can keep care of this new creation if certain things manage to fall apart."
"I know for one thing, I would physically visit said creation every so often. Let it know that it can thrive without fear of something that created it."
"With these visits, I'm sure they would also know that I will always be in aid of my creation if anything were to go wrong, I will be there in its time of need."
"But..."
"It's always crushing... reality..."
"Those who were gifted to create seem to always be given to the more twisted fellas who have no care for their creations. Simply let it all go to chaos, let it rot, let it start devouring other creations around it in the most lethal ways that could make everything become a disfigured and damaged mess."
"..."
"Pardon my rambling, but it is simply the reason why I'm here."
