#chardev;adam

[renegaderoots]

I know I’m probably not the best or even the right writer to do characters like Adam justice --- and this thought is not borne out of self-loathing --- but:

just because a character hasn’t been through heart-wrenching, unimaginably bleak situations, it doesn’t mean they’re in any way less manifold or important than those who have been. Too much of a good thing can quickly become a caricature lacking depth, and this is true for heroes and villains equally.

And, yes, Adam is too much; but purposefully. So often we are quick to judge and condemn people instead of wondering what their mannerisms, actions, and social personas really boil down to. Because what do you see when you look at Adam? An awkward academic with a good, soft heart and the need to offer a hand when nobody else does. An intelligent young man who loves his family back in Brazil, who is deeply appreciative of his adoptive sisters and everything he has been given.

Adam actively chooses to see the good in people despite having seen the ugly parts of humanity, and sometimes this is his undoing. Because what is not easily recognizable are the small tragedies he has been through and the excuses he has made for the people he loved; the very people who took advantage of his good qualities and left him the worse for wear. And still, Adam doesn’t complain. He picks himself up again and again, and never hesitates to extend his help. You don’t see his rough edges because he doesn’t want you to. He is not somebody who’d ever ask for help, or to expect anything in return. Does he have a savior complex? Absolutely. Does he not know when to mind his own business? Yes. Beyond that, however, he would destroy himself for your sake and go the extra mile without hesitation.

But just because the way he deals with his trauma isn’t loud and tangible like Avery’s or callous like Lin’s doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just because Adam’s selflessness doesn’t make him a spineless doormat without a will of his own doesn’t mean it‘s not toxic because this is the tiny tidbit he wants you to forget: it absolutely is, and since so many people depend on him to be a sanctum for others, it’s easier to ignore.

     “The most peaceble people will do the most terrible things when they're  pushed.”  ―    John le Carré, The Constant Gardener    

[renegaderoots]

Greek Loves Test         

Your Greek Love is:

Good Nomos

All nomos types are organized around duty and the impetus that humans should care for one another in a conscientious way. Nomos types are forward-thinking and responsible lovers who see our commitment to each other not just as "duties" or "obligations," but as opportunities to deepen our own moral stature and cultivate a sense of belonging as well. Nomos types understand that humanity is a social and cooperative species and that very few things of importance can be accomplished by one person setting out for themselves. Consequently, they care especially deeply about the life and values of communities, their friends and social circles, and they often see opportunities for how everyone can be made to work together within them. Nomos types are dependable and trustworthy lovers who believe that (in love as well as in life) just rewards come to those who care not just about themselves, but for their community as a whole. As for good nomos, it must be said that uniting a concern for the affairs of others with a selflessness and a genuine humility is no mean feat. All too often, individuals who pay such close attention to the affairs of others as nomos lovers do have hidden, self-serving agendas, such as prying or meddling for the sake of entertaining themselves, acting moralistically or sanctimoniously in order to feel better about themselves, or using the information they glean from their "concern" for others as gossip to elevate their standing within the community. However, good nomos lovers manage to stay clear of these pitfalls and instead take a sincere and altruistic interest in others. When other people are going through times of trouble, the good nomos lover takes no joy in their misfortune, but understands the gravity of their plight and provides a deeply rooted sense of reassurance. Good nomos lovers listen and involve themselves in the affairs of others responsibly and humbly. They espouse a level-headed practical wisdom in a non-judgmental manner - one that gives the other person a surer and more sensible perspective on their problems. In this way, good nomos lovers are the quiet enablers of our world; people who, through their own counsel and wisdom, gently empower others to learn and grow as they rise to face the challenges before them. Good nomos lovers are not exacting, but realize that they will very likely never receive the same amount of selfless attention from others as they themselves give. They live by the creed that though the needs of friends and loved ones are insatiable, those of us who have the capacity must nevertheless do our best to tend to them and to serve as dutiful guardians, diplomats, and dependable down-to-earth presences to others. Famous Greeks who have Nomos: Pericles, Xenophon. Your ideal partner is someone who has Agape.

[renegaderoots]

Animal Familiar

Sheep

The Sheep familiar has long been known for its symbolism of innocence, and you are no different. You are a person who is pure of heart and kind to others with every fiber of your being. Violence you cannot stand at all, always searching for a solution to a problem that will benefit everyone. Sometimes others may ridicule you for that, and see it as you being weak or cowardly. However, you don't allow yourself to give into that, are accepting of who you are, and know your strengths and limits. A Sheep familiar helps their master and the others around them remain calm, and brings positive emotions to others. This familiar represents

-Innocence

-A kind heart

-Friendliness

-Vulnerability

-Knowing who you truly are

-Peacefulness

[renegaderoots]

I’ve been thinking about how similar Adam and Ronan are in regards to their selfless nature; but I don’t think that’s entirely true either.

Adam, despite his very odd charm, is not exactly an emotional character. His emotions don’t factor into his decision making process, and if he had to choose, he would prefer the logical option over whatever he may be inclined to feel. At the same time, though, his approach isn’t necessarily profound either. He is a specialist in his field and fiercely competent ---- but he’s reluctant to allow new ways to shape his judgments or value system overall. Regardless, he is somebody who’s very imagine-conscious, concerned with what others think and how they perceive him, though not necessarily in a superficial sense. He thinks of himself first and foremost as a reformer, as somebody determined to leave at least a tiny footnote in his field, however insignificant or inconsequential. At the same time, though, Adam is selfless, kind-hearted, patient, and would never refuse to help anyone if he thinks he can. He sees the best in people and is endlessly optimistic about life. But this need to be useful to others, to feel accomplished and appreciated, is borne out of the need to be the kind of model son to his mom so that she doesn’t have to worry about him or his future. In the same vein, Adam has adopted and applied this mindset to his closest friends. Though an expressive person through and through, you’ll find he confides rarely in others, and hates asking for help himself, not wanting to be thought of as a burden or as somebody taking advantage.

Ronan, in a word, is self-contradictory ---- about as contradictory as they come, even. Although his default demeanor suggests that he’s quite aloof, yet also nonchalant and mischievous, he’s not actually driven by anything feasible or logical per se, but by his instincts and intuition. He’s also a very empathetic and emotional person, and easily takes on others’ pain as his own. So when those close to him are going through hardships, Ronan genuinely feels for them, which is why he usually keeps his distance. The way he feels is, without a doubt, very visceral and vivid; it’s also often overwhelming. All in all, he takes social responsibilities seriously and does have a strong sense of integrity. These values, however, are often at war with what he has to do in order to survive around criminals. Given his childhood and the fact that his parents couldn’t accept him (amongst other unpleasant experiences), trust, as much as he’d like to take care of others and to feel close to somebody, is no small feat for him. So, yes, he’s extremely selfless but also extremely selfish, constantly pushing others’ boundaries to test them. Honestly, it is hard to pinpoint his personality due to how volatile he can be. Distrustful, yet in want of trust himself. Fearful of aggression, yet capable of being highly aggressive. Clingy, needy and dependent on others, yet protective of his independence. He can be likable and even irresistibly charming and very punchable in the next second.

But what rings true without question is this overlying fear that dominates and drives most of his decisions. As somebody who grew up in a dysfunctional home, lost a sister, and was homeless for a good while, he never feels truly at ease. His mind is always expecting faces of the past to pop up unexpectedly to drag him back, though he knows, rationally, that his parents would never care enough to do so. Thus, what may seem contradictory or odd to others really is just a response to allay his own anxiety and to move forward, at least for the moment.