#charismatic killers

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Jackie:If a bed bug lives in a bed, where do cockroaches live?

Luke:

Luke: Well...

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Jackie:Internet ransom note, but instead of magazine letters it’s jpgs of letters on google.

Luke:

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Luke:Really hate it when people say they’re “a little bit OCD”. “I don’t like it when the teacher doesn’t erase the whole blackboard, I’m a little bit OCD”. You can’t be a ‘little bit’ OCD, that’s why the D is there!

Luke:Everyone has their obcessions and compulsions, yes, but saying you’re a little bit OCD is like sticking your finger in lukewarm water and saying it’s “a little bit boiling”!

Jackie:(fake coughs) Ugh, I’m feeling tuberculos-ish!

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Jackie:You remember when you were a kid and people said “you’re fat, no offense”, or things like that? I still took offense to it.

Jackie:Just a “no offense” isn’t going to save you.

Jackie:“If you’re gonna murder me, I just wanna make sure you have no bad intentions.”

Luke:The no offense murderer.

Jackie:The no offense strangler.

Luke:(doing a strangling gesture, speaking agressively) Don’t take this the wrong way!

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Luke:(trying out a White Lady drink) This is delicious! I wasn’t expecting an egg drink to be this refreshing. It was egg-celent.

Jackie:Ha. I’m wondering how much someone would shell out for this drink.

Luke:(laughs) Good one!

Jackie: I do sort of want to know. Eighteen dollars, maybe?

Luke: I think it’s more like a dozen.

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Jackie:Stab wound? You mean an extra pocket?

Luke:Not that useful of a second pocket though, it can only carry knives.