Request: “Hello bb 😌🥰 I would like to request the prompts “why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?” and “I’ll walk you home.” with Luke Skywalker (baby Luke 🥺) please and thank you. Congrats on 100 followers! You really deserve it! 😘🤩” as requested by @acnini
Description: You’re used to doing things yourself, not liking to wait for others to help. It’s your way of dealing with the different feelings within you. But your feelings are soon put on full display before a certain Tatooine farm boy.
Word Count: ~3.2k
Warnings: mentions of mom being sick, mention of father passing away, some angst, tiiiiiiiny bit of my attempt at some spicyness 🌶, lots of fluff.
A/N: I’ve been wanting to write for Luke for so long so thank you Aileen for requesting for our baby Luke! Like you said, I love one (1) farm boy. I really like how it turned out, so I hope you all enjoy! I’m working on the other requests that have been sent in for my 100 follower celebration, so keep an eye out for those! Also, Aileen I’m happy I posted this today because you got your full time offer today!! Woo!! 🥳
The first thing that greets you every morning is the same: heat. Unending, dry heat that you’re sure is the result of the twin suns that decorate Tatooine’s sky. This morning, it’s not different, the heat hitting you in a wave as you become aware of your surroundings. The second constant of every morning for you is the cough. Similar to the heat, it is dry and unending, violently shaking the body of it’s victim. And it’s the sole perpetrator of your final and heaviest constant of every morning: worry.
Worry settles in you every morning, the frequency of it not making it any less heavy on your mind. Your mother is the sole family you have, and she’s sick, her health not improving as the days pass. Part of you wonders if it’s the rough conditions of Tatooine that prevent her recovery.
Getting up from your bed, you walk over to your mom’s room. She’s sitting up on her bed, hand over her mouth and she coughs once, twice, three times. Her eyes meet yours as you enter, and she tries her best to give you a comforting smile.
“Good morning, love,” she greets.
“Good morning, mom. How are you feeling?” You’re next to her at this point, your hand extended to help her get up.
“Ah, well same as always. Not better, but not worse, thank the stars.”
That‘s the thing about your mom, she always looks at the bright side. It helps you in a way, but never works to fully take away your worry.
“Here, let me help you to the kitchen so we can eat some breakfast,” you say. She takes a hold of your hand to get up, then let’s go.
“I’m okay to walk, Y/N. Like I said, I’m not feeling worse today.” She smiles at you to get her point across, and you nod at her before walking to the kitchen.
Once there, you grab some haroun bread, hubba gourd preserves, and blue milk. You set them all on the table, along with two plates and two cups. Right as you take your seat, your mom walks into the kitchen, taking a seat on the chair across from you.
“Thank you, love.”
“Of course.”
The two of you dig into your respective breakfasts. You notice the hubba gourd preserves are running low, and make a mental note to make some more.
“One of the vaporators seems to be acting up,” she says. “I’ll check it out and see if I have to fix it after breakfast.”
Quickly, you shake your head. “That’s alright, I can handle it.”
“Y/N...”
You interrupt her before she has a chance to protest.
“Mom, it’s fine. I’m headed to the market today anyways. It’d be good to check on the vaporators beforehand to know if I need any supplies to fix them.”
Your mom sighs, shaking her head lightly. She knows you’ve made up your mind on the matter. “Well, let me at least ask Beru to have Luke help you with the vaporators. I was hoping to visit her since she promised me some of her blue milk cheese last time I saw her.”
You shake your head again, this time not as quickly.
“I’m alright. I don’t need Luke to help me. Really, I can handle it.”
Another sigh escapes her lips before a small smile appears. She reaches over to place a hand on your cheek. The once soft hand is now rough, calloused due to years of work.
“My sweet, sweet girl. What would I do without you?”
You just smile at her back, some heat brushing your face at her words.
“That’s what I’m here for, mom.”
Your mother has been sick for some time now. Like she says, it doesn’t technically get worse, but you’re sure something this long term doesn’t help anybody’s health. For as long as you can remember, it’s always been just your mom and you, your father having passed when you were young. She’s taken care of you all your life, nursing you back to health whenever you’ve fallen ill. Now it’s your turn to help her.
Once breakfast is done, you kiss your mom’s cheek before heading to check in the vaporators. She lets you know she is going to visit the Lars family, but should be back for dinner.
You step out into the scorching heat, eyes instantly squinting to adjust to the brightness. Tools in hand, you walk over to the vaporator that is giving trouble. Once you reach it, you begin to inspect it, quickly determining one of the condensers is busted. Should be an easy replacement, but you need to buy some at the market.
Cleaning your hands on a rag, you walk over to your home again to drop off the tools and grab some bags to carry what you plan to buy at the market. You notice your mom is no longer there, having already gone to visit the Lars.
You start the short walk over to the market, almost reaching it when you hear someone running behind you and your name being called. You turn to find who the owner of the voice is, and find Luke slowing down as he catches up to you, you smile.
“Hi Luke,” you say as he reaches you. And though he had been the one who had been running, you know he’s not as breathless as you are at the moment.
He takes a few breaths before speaking. “Hey,” he says and takes another breath. “I went to look for you at your house but hadn’t caught you in time.”
“I need to buy a new condenser for one of the vaporators, as well as some other things from the market.”
“Your mom told me,” he says. The two of you begin your walk to the market, sound of conversation and the smell of different food indicating it’s near.
“Did she also tell you to help me with the vaporators?” You look at him as you ask your question, your eyebrow rising slightly.
His face gives it all away. “I—no she didn’t.”
“Luke...”
“Okay,” he says, raising his hands slightly. “She did ask me to help you out, but in my defense I already planned on visiting you today.”
Luke and you have been friends since childhood. The Lars family are your neighbors, your mom and Beru having always been friendly with each other. With Luke and you being around the same age, it was easy for you to gravitate towards one another. You two are inseparable, and really, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Well, you know I’m never opposed to seeing you, Luke, but I can fix the vaporator on my own.”
Once you reach the market you walk straight to the shop that you know will have condensers. Luke is next to you the whole time, not leaving your side.
“I know you can, but I also know you probably have like 10 other things to do today. Let me help you with that one thing.”
After picking up a condenser, you look over at Luke. He’s staring at you, his blue eyes searching your face as he waits for your response. You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it lightly.
“Trust me, 11 things isn’t that much different than 10. I can do it.”
Luke throws his head back and gives a dramatic sigh. You laugh as you make your way to purchase the part, Luke’s response being exactly what you expected.
“It won’t hurt you to have some help every once in a while, you know?” Luke is behind you as you pay.
“I know.”
You both leave the shop and walk towards the main line of food stands. You go around to different stands, with you buying the different food and supplies that are running low back home, while Luke is next to you talking about what he’s been up to since the last time he’d seen you.
You’re back home now, hands deep in the vaporator, Luke sitting on the ground next to you. He helped you carry the condenser and some other things back and had almost started fixing the vaporator. You protested before he got his hands on it, reminding him that his original plan was to visit you, making him your guest, and guests don’t fix vaporators.
You raise your arm to wipe some sweat off your brow. Setting the tools down, you turn to grab the water canteen that you had brought, finding Luke already holding it out. Thanking him, you take the canteen, bringing the opening to your lips and greedily drinking the cool liquid, some of it dripping down your chin. As you drink, you can feel Luke’s eyes on you, making you suddenly need more water.
Taking a last gulp, you close the canteen and hand it back to Luke. He keeps his eyes on you, even as he grabs it and takes a drink himself. Now it’s your turn to stare. The way his lips connect with the opening, the way his neck moves as he drinks, the way he looks under the sun, the —
“Do I have something on my face, Y/L/N?”
At his words, you blink a few times. Before you get flustered under his gaze, you huff, deciding to put on a playful front instead of letting him know you were admiring him.
“I should be asking you that, Skywalker. You’re the one that was staring first. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think I have a doop bug on my face.”
Luke laughs, a genuine, full laugh that sounds like music to your ears. And with that, your playful front vanishes, replaced by the flustered state that only Luke can cause. In order to avoid having him see you this way, you turn your attention back to finish off the vaporator.
You finish right before nightfall, the simple task taking longer than planned thanks to Luke, your favorite distraction. When you’re putting away the tools you used, Luke is standing behind you, talking to you about some new parts he got to tinker around with his family’s vaporators.
“If you like, you can come over and I can show them to you. You might still find your mom there.”
You nod at his offer, practically jumping at the opportunity to spend more time with him. “Yeah, that’d be great. I might have to steal some of your ideas for the vaporators.”
So you walk with him to his home, bumping into your mom just about halfway. She has some of Beru’s blue milk cheese, and you let her know you’ll be home soon. When you arrive to the Lars homestead, you greet Owen and Beru, and Luke leads you to his room.
He goes directly to where he has some of his new parts on a table on the corner of his room. Luke is fiddling around with some of the parts, but your eyes land on two little figurines made of wood from japor trees that are on the corner of the table. You pick them up, and upon further inspection you recognize them. You give way to a small gasp, and Luke turns to look at you.
“What’s wrong? Oh...” His eyes land on the figurines in your hand, one of a girl and the other of a boy.
“Are these...are these the ones I made you when we were kids?” Your fingers trace the edges of the rather crude wood carvings, a smile finding its way to your face. “I made these when I was like 10.”
“Yeah, I—I’ve had them since.”
“Why? I mean, they’re not really that good,” you say, laughing at the disproportionate legs and arms.
“Because you made them. For me. How could I not keep them?”
You raise your eyes to look at him, finding he’s looking down at the wood carvings. You take the moment to appreciate how close he is to you. At this proximity, you freely look at his blonde hair, his lashes, his dimpled chin. He’s the epitome of your favorite dreams, and you’d love nothing more than to let him know that.
“I really appreciate you keeping them, Luke.”
He looks up to meet your eyes, a warm smile on his face. Thanking the proximity once again, you have a better view of his smile, the smile that gives you goosebumps on even the hottest Tatooine days.
“Here, let me show you the parts.”
After Luke gushes to you about his plans to modify the vaporators to work more efficiently, he asks you if you’d like to go outside and take advantage of the cooler air. Now, the two of you are sitting under the moons’ light, the absence of the twin suns allowing a small relief of the usual heat.
“So, will you let me modify your vaporators if my technique works?” Luke asks, hope evident in his voice.
“You can teach me how to modify one. I can take care of the rest. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your other duties.”
“You wouldn’t be keeping me from anything, Y/N. You know I love helping you.”
You nod. “I know, Luke. But really, I can do the rest on my own.”
Luke is silent for a second. The seconds soon turn to a few minutes, and you would be okay with it if it weren’t for the unreadable expression on his face. You’re about to break the silence when he beats you to it.
“Why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?”
There it is, there’s the question you know he’s been wanting to ask, but hoped he wouldn’t. A sigh escapes your lips as the emotions you’d been holding back come tumbling down like an avalanche. You feel tears start to well in your eyes, and you look down at your hands to hide them from him.
“Because, Luke, I know one day I’ll be on my own. You’re destined for so much, I know this and you do too. I know one day you’ll be out in the galaxy fulfilling that great destiny of yours, and you should. But I know I have to stay here to care for my mom, and one day she’ll be too weak to do even the smallest things. And that day it’ll all fall on me, so I need to be prepared for when that day comes.”
You blink back the tears, still looking at your hands, afraid to face Luke. His hand comes to take a soft hold of your chin, lifting it lightly. You still avert your eyes, not wanting to look at him.
“Y/N, please look at me.”
You finally do look at him, the pleading in his voice snaking its way into your heart and forcing you to meet his eyes. When your eyes lock with his, you feel yourself sink into his gaze.
“I’m not going to leave you behind. Ever.”
“Luke, you don’t have to always think of me. You have to think about yourself, about your dreams. I’m not letting you stop everything because of me.”
“And I won’t. But I’m not leaving you behind either. You have to understand that. I can’t leave you behind because you’re the one who keeps me going, the one who inspires me to get out of here and search for something better. And I won’t leave you behind because I love you, I’ve loved you since we were children, and I’ll continue loving you until we’re both old and gray.”
You really don’t know what to say. You’ve loved Luke for as long as you can remember, the once childish crush growing into something mature and so real as the years passed. He’d been your first kiss when you two were children, and, unbeknownst to him, your only kiss. So to have him say all this to you leaves you nothing short of wordless.
“Luke, I...I don’t know what to say.”
His hand moves from your chin to cup your face, his thumb grazing your cheek to wipe away a stray tear.
“You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. I just need you to know that you can always count on me. Today, tomorrow, always.”
Before second guessing what you’re doing, you lean in to connect your lips with his. His lips instantly respond. At first you kiss him the way you did all those years ago: innocent and sweet. But soon, the years of love reflect themselves on the kiss.
You grab a hold of his face, bringing him closer to you. His hands drop to take a hold of your waist, staying there for a second until you make the move to inch closer to him. At your action, he pulls you closer to him, his fingers digging slightly into your waist. You let out a small moan at the sensation, one that’s mimicked by his own.
At the sound of Luke’s name, you pull away.
“Luke! I need your help with something!” It’s Owen who calls him.
“I’ll be right there!” Luke answers.
Then he turns to look at you, the biggest smile you’d ever seen adorns his face. You’re smiling as well, your lips tingling. A small laugh escapes you as the two of you continue to stare at each other, not really knowing what to say.
You lean in to give him a quick kiss on his lips, pulling back before he pulls you in again. And when you look at his eyes again, all you see is pure adoration.
A passing traveler had once described to you what you had a hard time imagining: the ocean. So much water in one place, you couldn’t fathom. What shocked you the most was his description of the ocean being blue. The most beautiful blue, you remember him saying. You’d hope to see it yourself one day. However, you know that his words couldn’t be true. The most beautiful blue you’d ever and will ever see is the shade of Luke’s eyes.
“Luke!” Owen calls again.
“Just a minute! I’m just saying goodbye to Y/N,” Luke says, standing up and extending his hand to help you up. You take it and stand up, dusting your pants of sand.
“Oh, then take your time!”
You laugh at Owen’s words. Luke jokingly rolls his eyes, a laugh of his own filling your ears.
“Here, I’ll walk you home.”
“No, Luke, I’m fine. Owen needs you,” you say.
“You heard what he said. I’m taking my time.”
You laugh again, taking a hold of Luke’s arm. The two of you begin the walk to your home. As the two of you walk under the night sky, the light of the moons lighting your way, your conversation fills the air. The two of you tease and laugh, happiness evident. You arrive in front of your home, where Luke promises to see you first thing in the morning, and your chest fills with such beautiful warmth at the anticipation.
When Luke kisses you goodnight before jogging his way back home, you know that now every morning, you’ll have a fourth constant, the one that will always outweigh the other three: love.
Request: “I loved them more than anything in this world, and they’re dead because of me.” With Anakin Skywalker please? Your last one was *chefs kiss*
Word count: ~2.8k
Warnings: mentions of death, angst, crying, feelings of guilt.
A/N: Sorry for the delay my dear anon! I got busy with summer classes, but I wanted to get it out by today as a little birthday present for myself (wooo happy birthday to me!). I’m glad you enjoyed the last one, and I hope you enjoy this one! As always, please let me know what you all think, your comments always make me so happy! Also, requests are open :)
—
Keep breathing. Empty your mind. Just focus on the feeling of the Force within you, around you...just breathe. In, out, in again, out again....is that...is someone walking outside?
You open your left eye. Your right eye follows suit, your concentration broken. A sigh escapes your mouth, and you give up on your futile efforts of meditating. Uncrossing your legs, you get up from the floor of your quarters. It’s late and you should be sleeping. But you aren’t. You can’t.
Every moment your eyes close, you see them. Their faces, their fear.
You shake your head, trying in a way to shake the thoughts from your mind. Don’t think about it. The more you think about it, the harder it is.
The cool floor press against your feet as you walk over to the washroom. There, you turn on the faucet, putting your hands under the running water and bringing it onto your face in an attempt to clear your mind. You dry off and make your way back to your bed, sitting on the edge and taking a look at the room before you.
As a Jedi, you were taught not to have possessions, to live a simple life, and your quarters reflected that. The room was filled with the minimum, only little parts of it showing your personality. The bags of your favorite Naboo tea by the small kitchen. Your saber on its place in the table next to your bed. Some nice rocks you had kept from your missions to distant planets. Your favorite cup gifted to you by your former master during your padawan days. The colorful, handmade blanket on your bed–
The blanket they had given you.
You shake your head again, a useless attempt to stop the images of the destruction, of their faces, from filling your mind once again. Defeat washes over you as the realization that you won’t be sleeping anytime soon becomes clear. So instead of wasting your time trying to sleep, you slip on your night slippers, put on your usual Jedi robe, and make your way out of your quarters. You decide to leave your saber behind, this being one of the rare moments you can actually leave it behind.
The halls of the Jedi temple are quiet. It seems everyone else is doing what you can’t: sleep. You make your way down the halls with light steps to avoid making any noise. Your feet lead you to a nearby balcony, where you hope you’ll be able to clear your mind while surrounded by the night.
As you approach the balcony, you realize you were wrong in assuming everyone in the temple was asleep. No, you are not the only one awake. Standing there, looking up at the night sky as you’d planned on doing is no other than Anakin Skywalker.
Your feet stop. The point of leaving your quarters was to have some time to clear your head. Could you do that with someone present?
It doesn’t hurt to try. You two could just stand there in silence. Plus, the next balcony is on the other side of the floor you are on.
With your mind made up, you continue to walk towards the balcony, hoping to not interrupt Anakin who seems to be lost in his own train of thought.
As you reach the opening of the balcony, Anakin turns, a curious look on his face. You smile at him, your hand coming up to give a small wave.
“Hi Anakin. I don’t mean to intrude, I just need some air,” you say. He nods and you make your way to the other side of the balcony, putting a good amount of distance between you two to try to give him his space.
You know Anakin as well as you know most of your Jedi colleagues, at a distance and mostly formal. The interactions between you two have been limited thus far, mainly consisting of greetings around the temple with the occasional meeting on the battlefield. However, you’ve always wanted to get to know him. Your longing to know him better soon developed into something more, something that causes you to go red in the face whenever your interactions are more than just your routine greetings. But you try to suppress the feelings; Jedi are not allowed to have attachments.
Attachments. Funny how you know you’re not supposed to have them, yet you do. Or at least, you did.
You close your eyes as you take a deep breath to try to calm the emotions threatening to come back to you. The night breeze grazes your face, calming you more than your quarters had. You open your eyes, looking down at the bustling city of Coruscant below you.
“You’d think that for a city that’s so loud, nobody would be able to sleep.”
You turn to look at Anakin, where you find him looking at you, his body facing you. His face is easier to see now, and you see how tired he looks, the lack of sleep evident on his face.
“I guess nobody can blame us for being up, then,” you say.
The corner of Anakin’s mouth lifts up slightly, and he looks down at his hands. You take that as a sign that he’s done talking, so you move to face the night sky again.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
You find yourself looking at him again, and he looks almost sheepish as he waits for your response. You nod, your lips tugging up to a smile of reassurance. He makes his way to stand next to you, the heat creeping its way up your face clashing with the coolness of the breeze. Soon, he’s standing next to you, not too close to invade your personal space, but close enough that it was clear you two are here together.
“I would ask you if you’re having trouble sleeping, but I think we’ve covered that already.”
“Yeah,” you say, a small sigh escaping your lips. “It’s been a rough few nights.”
“I understand. I’m going through a rough patch myself,” Anakin says, his voice growing quieter towards the end.
“Well, I’m sure we are both out here to clear our minds, so we should try to do that.” You turn to face him, a sudden sense of confidence running through you. You ignore the way your stomach feels as Anakin turns to face you better, the ghost of a smile playing in his lips.
“If you have any ideas on how to achieve that, I’m all ears.”
Your eyes look at the city below you, thinking of how you two can clear your troubled minds. With the feeling of Anakin’s eyes on you, your eyes dance around the different city structures, the speeders, the life around you. Then it hits you.
“I know what we can do.” You don’t realize how excited you sound until you see one of Anakin’s eyebrows rising, the ghost of a smile manifesting itself into the real thing.
“We’re surrounded by so much life right now. We can clear our minds by living through them in a way, imagining what their lives might be like.” At Anakin’s continued gaze on you, your confidence begins to shake a bit. “If-if you like, of course. If not, we can just enjoy the night in silence—“ You stop the beginning of your rambling as Anakin shakes his head.
“No, no, I like your idea. Living through them.”
And so you begin to imagine the lives of the beings all around you. You take turns in the beginning, each thinking of a name for the driver of a speeder that passes by. Soon, you are both coming up with life stories together, adding unnecessary details that bring smiles and laughs to you both.
“He owns a loth-cat named Obi? You can be a bit more creative with your names, Anakin.” At your words, the Jedi shakes with laughter, a fully-rounded laugh that lights a warm feeling in your chest.
“What can I say? I admire my Master very much.”
Now it’s your turn to laugh. Your hand flies to cover your mouth, the sudden laugh surprising you. It seems to surprise Anakin as well.
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“No, it’s not that,” you rush to say while also trying to regain your breath from your laughter. “It’s just, you two always seem to bicker when together.”
A fond smile appears on Anakin’s face. “I guess it’s just the relationship we have. He’s almost like a brother to me.”
The honesty in his voice makes your laughter disappear. Instead, you find yourself smiling as well. You can see it, to be honest. Obi-Wan’s padawan years were cut short at the sudden death of his master Qui-Gon Jinn, so taking Anakin as his padawan right away meant they had to grow up together.
“I can tell he feels the same about you.” Your words cause him to look timid for a second, his smile shy on his face. He looks at the city below him again, his face growing slightly more serious.
“You know, for how much we’ve been told that emotions should be kept at bay, I believe my emotions are what have made me the Jedi I am today. Attachments...I know we’re supposed to reject them, but who would I be today if I did?” He shakes his head, his hands coming up to cover his face.
He seems so vulnerable like this. It’s something you didn’t expect to be seeing when you decided to leave your quarters earlier. But here you are, and you feel almost honored that he’s showing this side of himself to you.
“I understand, Anakin,” you say, placing a hand lightly on his arm. And maybe it’s the way the lights contrast with the night sky, or the lack of sleep you’ve had the past few days, or the way your heart seems to clench at the sight of Anakin before you, but something prompts you to keep speaking. “I...I’ve loved before.”
It was the first time you called it that. Love. You always knew that’s what you felt for them, but you were always too afraid to face the truth. Your confession makes Anakin turn to look at you. His face looks troubled but somewhat hopeful.
“You have?” he asks, his voice just above a whisper.
You nod, not being able to form the simple ‘yes’ you wanted to. The beating of your heart quickens as the images of their faces come to your mind once more.
“I reconnected with family some time ago while on a mission.” It’s you who’s vulnerable now, your palms growing sweaty as you want to both stay quiet and spill everything you’ve been burying inside for the past weeks. Anakin catches on to your hesitation, moving so that he’s fully facing you, giving you his attention.
“The mission took us to Tora, a small planet on the outer rim. It’s usually uncharted, so small that some consider it insignificant. It’s where I’m from originally.
I was there with Master Plo Koon and the 104th. Commander Wolffe was talking to two locals, when one of them recognized me. Wolffe called me over; it turns out the woman who recognized me was my mother’s childhood friend. That’s how she knew who I was, she said I look just like my mother. Her and her husband knew my mother and father well, and they knew me. They were there when Master Windu found me all those years ago, and they were there when my parents sent me with Master Windu here to the Jedi Order.
That night, I found my way to their home. There was this part of me that needed to know. About my parents. About what my life would’ve been if I hadn’t been Force sensitive. They indulged me in answering all my questions. They informed me that my parents had passed, my mother of an illness, my father of a machinery accident in his place of work. They comforted me as I cried.”
At the memory, your voice wavers. You hadn’t expected the news of your parents to affect you, your memories of them distant. But it had, and they were there to comfort you through it all.
Anakin takes hold of one of your hands, giving it a comforting squeeze. You look at him and he gives you a comforting smile, prompting you to continue.
“We formed a bond that night. I visited any chance I could while on the mission. Even afterwards, I’d visit Tora whenever I found myself near. I was always welcome with open arms by them. They’d have food waiting for me, and in one visit I found they’d made a blanket for me so that I could rest in between my missions.” You smile, they’re words replaying in your mind.
“And I loved them. I know Jedi are not supposed to form attachments, are not supposed to love, but I loved them. I loved them more than anything in this world, and they’re dead because of me.”
They’d been among the casualties of a Separatist attack. The Separatists had wanted to take control of the region, thinking its lack of popularity would make for a great place to hide developments of any battle tactics against the Republic.
Confusion falls on Anakin’s face, quickly followed by understanding. He shakes his head, his hands moving to hold your arms.
“You can’t blame yourself, Y/N,” he says right as a few of the tears you’d been holding back make their way down your face. His hand comes up to wipe them away, the warmth of it bringing comfort to your broken heart.
“I could have saved them, Anakin. I could have arrived sooner.” More tears fall down your cheeks and Anakin continues to wipe them away. “I had to take their bodies out of the rubble. I keep seeing the look on their faces. The fear that was still there.”
Anakin’s arms come around you, bringing you to his chest. The embrace breaks your wall, the tears flowing freely now. His gloved hand comes up to lightly rub the back of your head. He doesn’t try to stop your crying, no, he lets you cry, lets you unbury all the emotions that have been eating at you from inside.
Your crying slows enough that he pulls slightly back. He once again goes to wipe away the tears left on your face.
“It’s hard, Y/N, I know. But you cannot blame yourself. You just can’t. It won’t let you sleep, it won’t let you eat, it won’t let you live. You need to be strong, for them, for their memory.”
You nod, his words doing more for you than the sleepless nights wandering around the temple ever had.
“Thank you for this, Anakin. I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you, it’s just been eating at me for longer than I would like to admit.”
The look of understanding returns to his face. “I get that. I lost someone very close, someone I loved, some time back. I too blamed myself, admittedly I still do. I’m working on not doing that anymore. There’s some nights I’m less successful than others, such as tonight.”
Realization hits you. The both of you had loved. And the both of you had lost those you loved. Now you two are working on it, but not alone. Not anymore. You are finding comfort, finding support in one another.
“Anakin, I...” you stop talking, knowing there’s no words that can express what you want to convey to him. So instead you embrace him this time, your arms enveloping his waist as your face connects with his chest. He doesn’t hesitate on returning your hug, his arms circling you and his face burying itself in your shoulder. You hug him tighter, hoping you can express to him everything he needs to feel the support he’s giving you this night.
After a few moments, the two of you pull back.
“I cannot thank you enough for this, Anakin,” you say. He once again shakes his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“If you need to thank anyone, thank the stars for having us walk onto the same balcony tonight.”
The warmth in your chest is sparked again, spreading until you feel warm all around. Not an uncomfortable warmth, but rather a warmth that makes you feel alive.
You smile, a genuine smile that is mirrored on Anakin’s face. “Well then thank the stars.”
You look at one another for a bit, your smiles unfaltering, before Anakin speaks again.
“Come now. I’ll walk you to your quarters. I think we will both be getting some much needed sleep,” Anakin says. You nod again, following him as he begins to move towards the temple.
And as you walk side by side down the hallway to your quarters, both of your smiles still on each other’s faces, you believe that maybe, just maybe, you can love again.
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!
Thank you so much for the tag, my dear Cristina, @corellians-only! 💗 I love you so much, Cris, you have no idea 🥺❤️ I am saving your post so I can read any of the fics you listed which I haven’t read!
This year has been crazy to say the least. I’ve had this account for some time, and I’ve been writing fics for some time as well. I posted my first fic on here back in 2017, and I started becoming more active again during quarantine. I really cannot express just how thankful I am for the community I’ve found here, who support me and shower me with so much love. This is especially the case while I’ve been back at uni; I thought I’d lose some of the support due to my hiatus, but those of you who have supported me through it all have made me such a happy happy gal 💗💗
OKAYYYYY, here are my favorite fics, in no particular order:
1) night visit - Obi-Wan Kenobi x fem!Jedi!reader
this was my first fic to hit 100+ notes, and I really pushed myself to grow in my writing with this!
2) think of you - Obi-Wan Kenobi x fem!Jedi!reader (second part of night visit)
I know I said these are my favorites in no particular order but this fic just might be my favorite I’ve written. I was so so proud of it when I first put it out, and still am!
3) the most beautiful blue - Luke Skywalker x fem!reader
my first Luke fic and another one which I am just so so proud of! I really pushed myself with this one regarding symbolism and just the emotions between the two, and I think I did a good job in it!
4) say anything - Din Djarin x fem!reader
my first Din fic, and again, such a favorite of mine. I worked really hard in keeping a lot of feelings unsaid but so obvious between the two, as well as a lot of angst culminated by a very vulnerable but soft end!
5) sun - Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader
one of my first star wars fics of the man who owns my heart. Even though it’s an older fic, I am so proud of it! Fun fact: I listened to this song on repeat when writing it, so the song will always remind me of Anakin
no pressure tags: @obirain @anakinswhore @kenobee @princessxkenobi @redschillzone and any other of my amazing writer friends who want to participate!!! ❤️
Hello everyone! I have made a taglist in case you all are interested 🥰 It can be found here! I’m tagging some mutuals who might want to join (no pressure, please ignore if you want!):
I just found out I got tagged for this by @ewansumfuk so thank you for tagging me and sorry for the delay!
I don’t know how I did not get this notification of being tagged on this but I was looking up my username on Tumblr to find one of my posts and came across this! So I’m sorry it took forever to answer but here it is!!
1. NSFW or no? I am SO down for NSFW, I have never really written anything NSFW due to lack of experience but if you request it, or if I think it fits in a certain piece I’m writing, I will try my best to write it!
2. Drama and angst or fluff’n’stuff? I love it all. Give it all to me. There’s time’s I’m more in the mood for one than the other, but overall I love it all.
3. Do you prefer pre-established relationships, pre-relationship fic, or confessions? I usually for confessions because that’s what I imagine myself more in, but I do like pre-established relationships and pre-relationship fics as well! There’s just something about confessions and the pining that just make my heart melt.
4. Friends to lovers? Enemies to lovers? Enemies to friends to lovers? I love friends to lovers, it really lets me build a small backstory to how they even know each other and such. Also, because when I imagine myself as the reader I feel like that’s what I would relate to the most not that it’s ever happened but yeah.
6. Kidfic or no? I like these more for like head cannons and blurbs!
7. Do you prefer short or long fills/stories? I feel like it depends on the idea? There’s one specifically that I’m planning which I first thought of making a one-shot and done fic but then thought I’d make it into a two part fic and now I’m moving towards making it a like two section series. So yeah, it depends on the story but I like how much less stressful the planning is for the one part fics. I also usually like to give some back story to how the people are where they are at the moment but without taking away what’s going on at the moment if that makes sense.
8. Canon-compliant or AU? I try to keep it as canon as an AU can be. What I mean by that is that I try to follow some timelines and look into certain terms and aspects of the fandom that make the fic feel fandom-related enough, but I do take liberties with making it AU because otherwise none of my fics would make sense lol. Also, it depends on the request! But I do delve more into the AU side!
9. Of your current hyperfixation, how many AUs do you have? Uhhhhh, a lot.
10. No, really, count them. Probably like 5-ish at the moment.
11. If NSFW is your thing, what’s on your no-no list? Um so I’m usually okay with a lot of things because I don’t want to like shame anyone for their preference but if I feel uncomfortable writing it, I probably won’t write it, simply because it would be unfair for myself and for the person who requested it because it wouldn’t turn out as well. But for the most part, I am okay with some roughness as long as there’s CONSENT and it’s okay with both parties. Usually because of the fandom’s I write for and my own sense of uncomfortableness writing this, I usually don’t like daddy calling or like really bad name calling or like very violent sex. My mind be running wild sometimes though y’all, so please do not hesitate to ask if you want something NSFW, just know I might say no if I am uncomfortable with it. (:
12. What’s on your yes-please list? KISSING, fluff, angst, pining, and in terms of NSFW it’s usually pretty vanilla lol sorry I am inexperienced but like I said my mind is wild sometimes but it’s sweet sex, some rough sex, hidden sex, somewhat public sex (like in an alley or in a broom closet after much tension like YES give it to me), just a lot of pleasure and intimacy for both parties.
13. What do you think you don’t see enough of in your corner of ficland? I’m a bigger girl, and am usually very insecure about my weight and appearance. I would like to see more pics dealing with this just because it’s something I think about a lot when I imagine myself with my respective pairings in my fandoms.
14. What’s your be-all, end-all, will always make me happy favorite trope combination? When the reader is pining over their person and have no idea the other person is equally in love with them. Oh gosh, just, I MELT. A lot of friends to lover scenarios, especially if the reader is shy because SAME.
anyone who want’s to do this, feel free to! I’m glad I got tagged on this and that I actually found it because as a new writer I want everyone to know what I’m willing to write! But yes like I said do NOT hesitate to send in any requests, I won’t be mean about it if I feel uncomfortable writing it, trust me I’m very nice.
For Bee's 2.1k challenge @amarvelouswritings Congratulations Bee!
prompts:
24 - “I never want you to feel like you’re not good enough.”
28 - “If I kissed you right now, what would you do?”
Warnings: angst, low self esteem, mention of slight violence, language, alcohol drinking, fluffy as hell, slow burn (as slow as it can be in a one shot), ~ 5.4k word count (idk how it got to be this long)
A/N: Hey y’all! So this is my submission for Bee’s 2.1k challenge. Congrats to her, I know she deserves it because her work is so amazing!! Also, this happens to be my first fic on here. I hope y’all like it too because I really enjoyed writing this, I smiled so much throughout. Enjoy!
---
You looked at yourself in the mirror for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. You convinced yourself again that your wardrobe choice was fine and that the appointment you had should be short and to the point so there was really nothing to fret.
Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. "You got this, Y/N. It'll just be a simple software update for Stark's computer system. It's not your first time there."
It was something he could do himself or have any other staff member do, you thought. You grabbed your keys and your laptop bag, shaking the thought out of your mind. These appointments were, in your eyes, unnecessary, but you were thankful for the opportunity nonetheless. It brought in much needed extra cash and allowed you to interact and even form a friendship with some of Earth's mightiest heroes.
You left your apartment and called down a cab. Jumping in, you looked through your bag to make sure you had everything. Sure enough, you did. In reality, it was obvious you'd have everything. You'd prepared for today since last night. And you'd checked to see if you'd had everything at least three times this morning, just like every time you had these appointments.
Soon, you were dropped off in front of the Avengers building. You paid for the cab and walked into the building. The receptionist greeted you with a smile.
"Good morning Miss Y/L/N."
"Good morning Lucy. I'm here for Mr. Stark."
She nodded and grabbed a badge for you. You thanked her and headed to the elevator. The confidence you'd had in your outfit choice, well it'd diminished. In the lobby you'd seen some other women, thinner women, beautiful women, in nice skirts and dresses. Maybe you should've opted for something like that instead of your usual slacks.
"Can't back out now, Y/N," you mumbled to yourself. "Plus, there's no one you're trying to impress, is there?"
It seemed as if your question had been answered as soon as the doors to the floor Tony always had you go to, the common floor where most of the Avengers were usually lounging around, opened. There, standing in all his glory and all his red, white, and blue was Steve Rogers himself. He had his back to you and he was wearing his uniform, minus his helmet. Standing with him was Tony, and it seemed as if whatever they were talking about had their full attention.
You internally sighed as you stepped out of the elevator and into the floor, or at least you thought you'd sighed internally. You could feel your face turn red at the realization that you'd actually sighed out loud. Steve turned, catching your eye and giving you a warm smile. Gosh, that smile really wasn't helping you get your composure together.
"Good morning, Y/N."
"H-hello Steve."
"Y/N! So glad to see you today!" Thankfully enough, Tony noticed you as well. He went over to engulf you in a hug, one you hoped would give you some relief to get rid of your current tomato face.
"Nice to see you too, Tony," you said laughing lightly.
Tony stepped back and slung an arm around your shoulders. Out of all the Avengers, Tony was the one you knew the most. Your dad had worked in the janitorial service for the tower back when it was just starting off as Stark tower. Although he was now retired, it was because of the good relationship that your father had with Tony that you were able to have these appointments in the first place. Your dad would always tell Tony about his daughter who was studying computer science, and when you'd finished college you'd gotten many offers from Tony about joining his personal team for the behind the scenes Avengers, as he'd called it. You'd thought about it many times, but honestly you were afraid you weren't up to par and you didn't want to be offered a job just because of your parents, and you'd explained that to Tony many times. He said time and time again that he'd offered you the job because of your work from school, but you weren't convinced.
"Steve here just got back from a mission and he was giving me a quick run down."
"Oh, well I don't want to interrupt," you said. “I can make my way to the computer room and be done quickly."
"Hey what happened to your cheek?" It seemed as if Tony had taken notice of your slightly bruised left cheek. His question made Steve take a closer look at your face, and a small frown etched itself on his face.
"Oh-umm there was this small altercation I had with a man on the subway. Nothing big, really," you explained. The man seemed to have been drunk and to be honest, your defense skills weren't the best.
"Want me to track him down? What'd he look like? Friday, get me the footage of the subway cameras–"
"No, Tony, really. I'm fine. It was a week ago. It's okay."
"Hmmm. Well weren't you getting training from Nat and Wanda?"
"I haven't seen you around the gym with them for some weeks now," it was the first words Steve had said since his greeting, making your eyes glance at his face for a second.
"Yea, umm, I got a bit busy with work. I did learn a couple things and I was going to put them into use but I just kind of...freaked out." You laughed in an attempt to make the conversation more light hearted.
"You should try to make some time. I mean, your safety is priority." You felt Steve's eyes on you and you looked over to see him looking at you with a worried expression and crossed arms.
"I will. I just let it slip is all."
"I still think you should come and work with me. I'm telling you, Y/N, you could have your own sleeping quarters here and everything. It'll be better than your apartment. You'll be safe, no matter what time of day you get home." Tony tightened his grip on your shoulders and you looked back at him, giving him a smile.
"I'll think about it. Now I really should get to the computers."
~~
"Fuck," you cursed as another error page popped onto the screen of your laptop. You looked at the time and let the word slip from your lips again. It had been an hour since you'd started the system update. It should've taken you 15 minutes but instead here you were, an hour in and no closer to an updated system.
"This is why I can't work for you, Tony," you mumbled to the empty room. Concentrating back on the laptop, you let your fingers attack the keyboard as you entered another system of code.
The opening of the office door took you out of your trance, and you heard the voice before you'd turned around.
"Hey you," Natasha's smooth voice filled your ears and you couldn't help but smile. Your smile only widened as you noticed that Wanda was trailing behind her.
"Hi guys," you said, standing up to greet them each with a hug.
"Tony told us you were in here. We came looking for you right away," Wanda said.
The three of you walked back to the desk you had been sitting at for the past hour. You took a seat while Wanda and Nat stood at either side of you.
"Honestly I don't even know what I'm doing here."
"Aww come on Y/N," Nat said, taking a grip of you shoulder as you proceeded to put your face in your hands. "You were born to do this sort of thing. Hell, I'd even say you're better at all this computer stuff than me."
You shook your head, giving Nat a look of disbelief. "You're just saying that."
"She's not just saying that. You know she never just says things." Wanda said.
"Wanda's right. So keep going at it. I'm sure you can get it done in no time."
"We'll see. This thing was supposed to take me 15 minutes to install. It's been an hour."
"Don't give up, Y/N. I let you give up the training sessions, but not this."
"I didn't give up on that, Wanda. I just...got busy."
Natasha scoffed. "Got busy trying to avoid a certain Mr. America."
You could feel the red return to your face as you vigorously shook your head.
"You don't know what he does to me, Nat. If he talks to me or even glances at me, I feel like I'm going to pass out. And it's so stupid because, well, we've actually hung out a handful of times and those times we'd never really been alone. The only time we're alone is whenever I'd bump into him in the corridors and trust me, I couldn't handle doing that anymore. Plus, I really did get busy. My bills don't pay themselves, you know."
"Yes I understand but last I remember, you kept postponing until you just avoided the subject all together," Nat said.
"You know, Y/N, maybe you should let him know how you feel."
"Are you kidding me, Wanda? What good can come out of that?"
"Oh I don't know," Nat said. "Maybe he'll let you know that he's just as head over heels for you as you are for him."
"I can't believe you can lie so easily, Nat."
"She's not lying, Y/N. He asked a lot about you when you stopped coming to our training sessions." Wanda's words threatened to cloud over your concentration, but you continued to focus on the task ahead, your fingers jumping around the keyboard.
"You girls are delusional," you mumbled. The two gave small laughs but decided to drop the subject. You continued to type away, your brow coming down as you felt the end of the process come near. You typed the final digits in and waited as the bar loaded. Soon, you were met with a window with the green words 'software update installed' on it. "Fuck yea. I did it. I'm done. Finally."
"See? We told you you'd do it." Nat gave you a small smirk and you grinned back at her.
"It took me forever though. Friday, can you call Tony down here and tell him the software update is complete?"
"Right away, Ms. Y/L/N," the artificial voice responded back.
Within a few minutes, Tony walked into the office, a huge smile plastered on his face. Coming in behind him was Steve, this time out of his uniform. He was sporting some dark sweatpants that hung low on his hips along with a gray shirt that hugged his chest nicely. He looked over at you and gave you a small nod and smile. You smiled back, trying to keep the redness from you cheeks at bay but failing, once again.
"You're a genius, Y/N!" Tony grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you, smiling at you with the same huge smile he'd entered with.
"Uh I'd hardly say that. The system update took me forever. I should have done it in 15 minutes, not a whole hour."
"No, Y/N. I changed the system. The update should've taken at least 7 hours to complete, and that's if I were doing the update."
"What?"
"I changed the system to one that looked to be exactly the same one that you'd installed. The way I designed it, system updates are supposed to take a long time, a process of a day or two for regular people. You did this in an hour. You're a genius, Y/N, just accept it. Now, since you passed the test, I want to offer you a job on the team again. What do you say?"
You were shocked. For one, you felt sort of confused about the fact that you hadn't noticed the system change. But greater than that, you were utterly surprised at what you'd done. Suddenly, you felt like you could do this. Maybe you were capable of being an effective asset to the Avengers.
"Cmon, Y/N. You did an amazing job, and I know you'll be able to do even more amazing work with us," Wanda's words brought you back to reality and Tony's awaiting eyes.
"I-uh," you stopped, taking a breath to collect your words. "I'd love to."
Tony shouted in excitement and pulled you in for a hug, causing you to laugh. When he let you go, Wanda and Natasha both have you big smiles and a small hug in congratulations.
"I'll get the room fixed up for you. You can move in as early as tomorrow," Tony said.
"I think I'll need more time than that. I need to let my other job know and move my things."
Tony agreed and gave you another hug before leaving to attend some business. Nat and Wanda excused themselves, saying they needed to go read over a mission briefing they were assigned to, leaving you alone with Steve.
You watched them all exit the offices, then your eyes darted to Steve, who was already looking at you.
"Congratulations, Y/N. I know Tony wanted you to take the job for a while now. I'm glad you did."
"Thank you, Steve," you said.
A small smile tugged at the corner of Steve's mouth and he looked down at his shoes. "Since you're going to be in the tower more often now, I guess you'll have time for training?"
"Oh. Yes, definitely. I'm sure Tony will be a nice boss."
He laughed. "I'm sure he will be."
Steve looked up at you and caught your eyes. Looking at his blue eyes, you couldn't help the smile that jumped on your face. Steve smiled in response and his eyes began to look over your face. As they moved over to your left cheek, the smile on his face dropped and instead his beautiful face homed a frown. You knew he was frowning at your bruised cheek, and you wished you'd covered it up better.
Steve took a step closer to you, making your breathing quicken. His hand came up to cup your chin, his thumb grazing your bruised skin. You couldn't stop yourself from closing your eyes at the feeling of his skin. It was so warm, so welcoming, so right.
"I'm going to train you." Steve's voice caused you to open your eyes and find him looking at you with a soft gaze. He dropped his hand from your face, to your disappointment, but his eyes stayed focused on you.
"What?"
"I mean, if you're okay with it, I'd like to train you myself. We can start as soon as you want. I just...I need to know that you'll be able to defend yourself and prevent this from ever happening again." His voice was soft, causing a warm feeling to make its way to your stomach, adding to the feelings of butterflies already present.
"Yes. That'd be great."
"Great."
You blinked, bringing yourself out of the daze that Steve seemed to always put you in. You dropped your gaze to your shoes and then moved to grab your laptop and bag.
"I, uh, I should get going," you said, closing your laptop and putting it in the bag while also grabbing your cell and putting it in your pocket.
"Oh, before you go, I wanted to ask you something."
You slipped the bag on your shoulder and turned to look at Steve.
"Yes?"
"Tony, he's holding a party tomorrow. I'm not sure what it's for, something about some donors and, well, I can bring a guest. So I was wondering, would you want to come with me? It's at 8 and I understand it's last minute but I just got back from a mission and found out and I understand if you can't go–"
"I'd love to, Steve," you said, smiling as you saw his eyes brighten.
He smiled at you, a smile that reached his eyes. "Okay, great. I'll pick you up tomorrow then. Is 7:30 fine?"
"7:30 is perfect. Thank you, Steve."
"No, thank you," he said and gave a small laugh. "I guess I'll walk you out then."
You walked together out the office and to the elevator. You pressed the button and waited for the elevator, though there wasn't much waiting to do. The door opened and Steve put his hand on the door to keep it open while you walked in.
"It was nice seeing you, Y/N. And I'm glad I'll be seeing you around more. I'll see you tomorrow, then."
"Likewise, Steve. See you tomorrow." You gave each other one last smile before he stepped back and let the elevator door shut.
~~
"I don't know why I agreed to going. What am I going to do in a Stark party?" You were walking about your room, looking for the mascara that should have been with the rest of your makeup.
"You said yes because Steve asked you." You'd called your best friend, Alex, to have her talk to you while you finished getting ready.
You already had your dress on. You'd chosen a black A-line dress that reached your knees. It had lace scallops on the sleeves. You were sure the flaring bottom added unnecessary volume to your figure, but then again anything else seemed to hug places you wanted to hide.
For your hair, you'd put it up in a low bun. This way, you'd have it out of the way during the night.
Your makeup was about to be done. You'd chosen one of your go to looks, paying extra attention to your disappearing bruise. It seemed as if you used it for every party, but it was easy for you to do and was more glam than your everyday routine, so you'd decided to play it safe. All you needed was that damn mascara you were looking for.
"Okay, but I still don't know why he did. Maybe he felt like he had to because of the whole job thing." You looked through a purse you'd taken out a few days before and, thankfully, found the small tube. You rushed over to the mirror and began to apply it.
"From what you talked to me about, he seemed pretty interested, Y/N." Alex continued to voice her thoughts through the speaker of your phone.
You rolled your eyes, even though she couldn't see. "I doubt that's the case."
"Well, I'm just saying this based off the facts. Plus, didn't you tell me he texted you last night?"
"Yes, but just to confirm at what time he'd pick me up today and to ask for my address. Oh, and to say that it was good to see me."
"I can't believe how blind you're being right now. Why can't you see what's happening?"
"Because, Alex, he could have any intelligent, beautiful, experienced woman he wants. I don't see why he'd want me." You closed the mascara and made sure you hadn't left any black marks around your eyes.
"Y/N! You are beautiful and intelligent and absolutely amazing. He'd be lucky to have you."
You shook your head, again, unnecessarily due to the fact that she couldn't see you. "I think he's seeing someone, or at least intends to. I heard the mentioning of a Sharon around the tower. Somebody he met while he was in D.C." You grabbed your phone at the sound that you'd received a text. "Hey, Alex, Steve just texted me to let me know he's outside. I'll call you tomorrow, yes?"
"Okay, okay," she said, excitement clear in her voice. "Have fun, Y/N! Call me tomorrow to let me know how everything went!!"
You bid yourselves goodbye as you sent Steve a quick text to let him know you'd be down in a second. You grabbed your clutch and phone before slipping your heels on. Closing up your apartment, you made your way down to meet Steve, the butterflies in your stomach becoming violently present.
Walking out into the street, you looked around and caught Steve leaning on a black Suburban. Seeing him, you couldn't help but bite your lip. He looked gorgeous. He was wearing black pants and a blue button up shirt that flattered him beyond words.
He looked over and saw you, a smile appearing on his face. He started to walk over to you, and you did the same, trying to focus on your walking, seeing as how his presence made your legs feel like jello.
"Hey, Y/N. You look," he blinked and shook his head, opening his arms as he motioned to you. "You look gorgeous."
"Thank you, Steve. You look great, as well." Your heart was beating really fast, so much so that you felt as if you kept talking it's jump out of your throat.
"Shall we head over to the tower then?" he asked and stuck his arm out for you. You nodded and slipped your arm with his, a warm feeling coming to settle on the pit of your stomach. God, he smelled so amazing.
The drive to the tower was nice. There was mostly comfortable small talk, accompanied by much laughter from both of you.
Once you'd arrived, you opened the door to your side of the vehicle in order to get off, but Steve was by your side before you could step foot onto the sidewalk. He took your hand and helped you off, closing the door after you. He offered you his arm, and when you linked your arm with his, his other hand came to pat you. You smiled to yourself, you eyes focusing on your shoes in an attempt to hide your blush.
The two of you made your way into the tower and into the party. Once stepping inside, you felt yourself start to feel uneasy. This seemed to happen a lot. You'd always have confidence in your appearance until you arrived to the event you'd gotten ready for. Today was not an exception.
A lot of the other women in the party looked stunning. They'd mostly opted for tighter dresses that enhanced their curves, as well as floor length gowns with seductive slits. You instinctively tried to stay back from the crowd, not realizing you were still holding onto Steve and therefore keeping him back as well.
Steve looked down to you, a concerned expression on his face. "Is everything okay, Y/N?"
You closed your eyes briefly before opening them and smiling at Steve. "Yes, I'm fine."
Before he could interrogate you any further, Bucky and Sam found you two. They approached you with excitement radiating from them.
"Hey, Cap," Sam said, taking in Steve for a hug. You stood in the side, holding your clutch. "And hello, Y/N! You are such a beauty." He took you in for a hug as well, and you hugged him back, happy to see your good friend.
"Hi Sam, it's good to see you," you said.
"Hey now, where's my hug?" Bucky went over to you after having greeted Steve.
You laughed and leaned into him to hug him as well. "Hello, Buck."
"How would you two lovebirds want a drink?" Sam asked. You blinked in embarrassment at his choice of words, hoping Steve didn't put too much attention at his words.
"Would you like something?" Steve asked you, in a lower tone.
You nodded. "Yes, please. Some whiskey."
"I'll be right back," he said, heading over to the bar with Sam and Bucky trailing behind him.
"Y/N!" You turned to see Wanda rushing over to you with Natasha. They looked so amazing and you were so relieved to see your friends.
"Hey guys!"
"When did you get here?" Wanda asked.
"Um we just got here a little bit ago."
"We?" Nat asked, an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. Steve and I..."
"Together?" You nodded. "Oh my gosh, Y/N. why didn't you tell us?" Wanda was beaming with excitement and you turned to see if Steve was still at the bar. He was.
"He asked me yesterday after you two conveniently left," you said, in a somewhat accusative tone.
"Ah, then you should be thanking us," Nat said. "Maybe he was waiting to catch you alone."
"I guess so–"
"There she is! Y/N, come here and meet Mr. and Mrs. Haas. They're interested in our work and I was just telling them about the new addition to the team," Tony took your arm in his and took you to an older couple who he'd been talking to.
You turned to send an apologetic smile to Nat and Wanda and they nodded in understanding.
"Hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N, nice to meet you," you said, introducing yourself.
The four of you continued to talk for a while, and your eyes scanned the crowd to see where Steve had stayed. You'd see him hopping around from Sam and Bucky to Bruce and Vision.
After some time, you'd thought you'd embarrassed yourself enough with the couple. You were never great at holding conversation with people of importance, and though Tony kept helping you out, you had enough for the night.
You walked away from them, looking around again to see if you could find Steve. To be honest, he was easy to spot, seeing as to how much he stood out for you. You spotted him at the bar again, only not alone. Next to him was a tall, blonde. She had a bright smile on her face, one that was replicated on Steve's own face. You were sure she was Sharon.
Feeling the air leave your lungs a bit, you pushed yourself through the crowd and made your way out to the balcony. Great. Just fucking great. Now you were embarrassed from the talk with the Haas couple and alone for the night.
After setting down your clutch on a small table next to you, your hands took a hold of the balcony rail and closed your eyes, feeling the wind hit you. It was what you needed, fresh air and time away from everybody. Only you weren't able to enjoy it for too long.
You heard steps come up behind you and instinctively tenses up. You didn't turn until you felt the person come up next to you.
"Hey. I, uh, brought you your drink. I had it earlier but you were busy with Tony."
You turned to see Steve handing you your glass of whiskey. Taking it, you smiled at him in gratitude. You took a sip of the liquid, the burning sensation on your throat being a welcome feeling.
"How'd it go with donors?" You could feel Steve's eyes on you, but you kept your eyes fixed on the glass in your hands.
You frowned slightly, thinking about the way you’d most likely embarrassed yourself in front of the couple. “I don’t think it went too well,” you mumbled as you set your glass next to your clutch on the table.
“Why do you say that?”
Sighing, you shook your head then moved your eyes to focus on the view from the balcony. Thousands of lights twinkled back back at you, as the city below you beamed with life. “I don’t know. I can usually do a decent job in talking to people in a formal matter, but just right now...I guess I was distracted, or nervous because of the new role I’d be taking in this job. Whatever the case, I’m sure I blew it.”
Steve let out a small chuckle. “I’d beg to differ, Y/N. I bumped into Tony before heading out here and he was beaming to me about how you’d blown them away.”
Taken aback by Steve’s words, you turned to look at him. You felt your face scrunch up in confusion. “Really?”
He smiled at your surprise and nodded. “He said that once you left they’d asked him where he’d find such a talented young woman as yourself.”
“I can’t believe they said that,” you said, your voice drifting off.
“Why is this so surprising to you? This was the reason Tony wanted you on the job, you know.”
You shrugged and sighed. “Honestly, I thought he’d kept offering me the job because of the way he got along with my dad. I never really felt capable or good enough for the position.”
“That’s nonsense. You’re one of the brightest minds I know.”
You scoffed, shaking your head in protest. “I doubt that’s the case, Steve.”
“You don’t believe me?” At your silence, it was Steve’s turn to shake his head. “Y/N, I need you to see yourself the way I see you.” He moved closer to you, taking your breath away with the diminishing distance between you two. “You are an impeccable human being, Y/N. You’re brilliant, nice, beautiful-”
“Steve...”
“Please, Y/N, let me finish,” he said, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I never want you to feel like you’re not good enough. You’re so much more than good enough, and I need you to see that.” By now, he’d taken a hold of your hands, pulling them close to his chest, making your heart beat quicken.
“Why are you so good to me?” you mumbled, looking at his hands wrapped around your own and not throwing out the thought that maybe it wasn’t just your imagination yelling at you that Steve’s hands fit so perfectly around your own.
He chuckled, and the sound brought a warm feeling within you. “You know, I could be asking you the same question.”
You tried to organize your thoughts, and Wanda’s words from the day before came back to your mind. And maybe it was the alcohol-induced courage, but you proceeded to ask Steve, “I heard you were asking for me...during my absence from the tower.”
“I was.”
“Why?”
Steve sighed, prompting you to look up to look at his eyes, the beautiful orbs of blue with hints of green already looking at you with so much emotion. He broke the eye contact for a second, facing the city below you and placing his eyes back on your own, the same smile from earlier tugging at his lips.
“Isn’t it pretty obvious?”
“I mean, I’m asking aren’t I?”
He nodded in acknowledgment, then looked at you with a more serious expression. “You just have me so crazy about you.”
“I-I do?”
“You do.”
“But Steve, you could have anyone. A beautiful girl who can make you so happy. What about-what about Sharon? She’s so stunning, and smart, and strong. I can’t compete with that.” You began to feel overwhelmed as you mentally compared yourself to her, spotting things she had that you didn’t.
“You don’t have to.”
“I just don’t understand, Steve. Me? I have you crazy? This is like some sort of dream.” You bit your lip and brought your hands to your face as you closed your eyes.
Again, Steve’s chuckle filled your ears, making you open your eyes and take you out of your mental overdrive. “This is very real, Y/N.”
“I can’t believe this…”
“If I kissed you right now, what would you do?”
“Excuse me?” You asked, though it wasn’t due to lack of hearing.
“What would you do?”
“I don’t know. What kind of question is that, anyways? I wouldn’t say no, I-”
Your rambling was cut short at the feeling of Steve’s lips on your own. Almost instinctively, your eyes fluttered close and you grabbed his shirt, bringing him closer to you. His hands held your waist tightly, and they too pulled you close to him, closing the small distance left between you two. He kissed you gently yet hungrily, and all the doubts you had on his words about you and your beauty melted away. Your mind only focused on the way your lips and his molded into each other, moving in perfect synchronization. One of your hands let go of his shirt and traveled up his shirt until it reached his hair, your fingers combing through his soft hair, pulling him even closer to try and deepen the kiss. His tongue traced your bottom lip, and you eagerly granted him access.
Too soon, for your liking, you had to break for air. You opened your eyes and smiled, looking to see your Steve already giving you his knee weakening smile.
“So that’s what you’d do.” Steve’s voice was low, and you could practically hear his smile.
