#chat. meena

[aiylabaysal]

Meena & Aiyla - sometime after capture the flag- @cantfightmoonlight

The sting of humiliation had not faded, not even after Aiyla stormed away from the scene before she could further embarrass herself by crying in public. Her cheeks flamed, and her stomach twisted into knots as she pushed herself forward with no real destination in mind. She doubted she could face anyone, let alone herself after being made the fool and losing a game. She shook with an involuntary shuddering exhale. The threat of spilled tears ebbed dangerously close. Aiyla inhaled and held her breath so she would not cry. Not now. Her vision blurred from unshed tears, her fingers curling into the palm of her hand while her heart hammered away in her chest. A hummingbird flutter of feelings tangled around one another until Aiyla could no longer separate anger and sorrow, shame or frustration; somewhere in the center of it all, her affection strummed, making it all the worse.

Exhaling when she could no longer hold the breath Aiyla longed for some sort of lightness, but only felt a new rush of shame as she spotted Meena. She'd let her entire team down, becoming distracted by her feelings and desires for reconciliation, which cost them a win; she knew there would be many of them who blamed her, who saw only a woman kissing the enemy without knowing any of the intricacies of what she was feeling. Aiyla closed the space between them, her features collected into something resembling grace edged by regret and embarrassment. The tricks with rubber snakes, the pulled fire alarms, and perhaps more she wasn't recalling all cumulated to this moment. They were supposed to have worked together. it was just a game, right? Inhaling before she spoke, "Did you think the games would go the way they did?"

[aiylabaysal]

Aiyla & Meena - campgrounds @cantfightmoonlight

After leaving her tent the following morning, Aiyla decided to take a long walk to clear her head and find some answer to the problem plaguing her. Grabbing a second cup of coffee on the way through, she stopped by Meena's setup and greeted her with an extension of coffee, "I owe you thanks for stepping in last night," Aiyla kept her head high despite the weight she felt pushing down on her. She did not know what to do about Dilan, nor did she understand where the sudden disrespect had come from; they had been friends for years. She had always trusted her and Leyla, given them the space to be exactly who they were without shaming them for it- they'd worked together...she'd been willing to be tortured for them both. The reaction now, so extreme, so sudden, was one Aiyla struggled to wrap her head around.

If one bad week could undo the years of dedication and sacrifice Aiyla had given, then perhaps Dilan was never truly her friend, maybe she never respected her at all. Evident in the crass and violent manner Dilan had treated her a few nights before. Aiyla decided the moment she put her hands on her that she didn't need her to be her friend. She didn't need or care if she liked her. Right now, Dilan was adding fuel to a small flame that Aiyla was managing well; right now, Dilan was a problem she did not know how to face. "I'm sorry you and Aaliyah had to get involved at all." Aiyla didn't think they'd need to babysit adults, but then again, she couldn't let it be forgotten the people who called this town home. Raking her fingers through her hair, "I step away for a moment, and all hell breaks loose," Aiyla sighed,"It's not a good enough reason, she shouldn't have-" Aiyla didn't know how to say she didn't know what to do about Dilan, she didn't want to appear weak, or unfit for a job that she had taken with great pride, but it was true.

Dilan was an anomaly. Someone she once thought she understood who had turned on her the moment her perception of events became unfavorable. She'd worked it over and over again in her mind, trying to make sense of it; concern of Leyla she could get, seeking justice based on rumored assumptions? The tactless and shameful way she spoke to her? Forget friend to friend. What about woman to woman? In the end, Dilan's reaction was crafted by her unwavering loyalty and love for her sister and an amalgam of feelings Aiyla knew mattered and deserved to be understood. Knowing this didn't make the way she went about any of it okay- it didn't make Aiyla feel any better; it only concerned her further about how perception could be twisted by whispered words of a panic attack she had covered with an illusion as soon as Leyla's knees hit the ground and assumptions crafted from half a moment that belonged to her, and her alone. Regardless of it all, Aiyla was faced with an uncertainty in her court that she knew would likely end favorably, no matter how hard she would try. "Can I be honest?" she almost smiled, as if she had a choice, but she figured Meena would know what she meant.

[briarreed]

MEENA & BRIAR @cantfightmoonlight

Waiting around only delayed what Briar knew to be inevitably true; she would always join The Clan. There wasn't another option for her, not when her entire life had been spent belonging to a Coven, not when she had seen firsthand how things could go awry for those outside of it all. She didn't want that for herself or anyone. Setting up her meeting with Meena took a few days longer than she had hoped- but if things had been different, on her terms, when she was ready, there wouldn't have been any hesitation. She would have been prepared, ready. So, she took some time before calling and setting up a place and time to meet with Meena. Never one to show up to a meeting empty-handed, Briar arrived with flowers for Meena, selected fresh from Just in Bloom that morning, and greeted her with a polite smile. "Thanks for taking the time to meet with me." Briar addressed her, "These are for you. As thanks for your time." She offered the flowers to Meena before she continued to speak. "I would have reached out sooner, but I've been adjusting." Briar chose her words, feeling silly to admit aloud that she had been grieving her death and loss of magic.