#chatty anon

[saltymongoose]

I'm gonna ride the shit out of 2BDamned. That's it, that's my contribution to the blog right now.

— Yours truly, Chatty anon

Honestly, I wouldn't expect anything else lmao. Thank you for sharing, Chatty. (And I know some of y'all would do the same, even with other grunts. Don't lie.)

[saltymongoose]

OKAY OKAYOKAY YOU KNOW THE DRIFT FROM WHAT I SAID N THE LAST ASK

So, imagine the reader walks into Doc's office.

"Hey Doc, can you do an examination real quick? I don't know why, i just feel a little dizzy." so doc looks over to you like 'oh yea ofc ill check up on you idm' (i <3 doc)

so like, doc examines the player but things take a turn.. a REALLY good turn to be exact! they're both currently alone, and having an "intimate" moment (thats what he thinks, idk ab the player)

so its that sort of thing like, they're alone, things just took a turn and player seems to be on board, even ENJOYING this...

AND YES GENDER NEUTRAL PRONOUNS AND AS FROG ANON HAD SAID BEFOR!!! YOU CAN DO AFAB AND AMAB...............

but yeah <333 i wanted to ask that again yet with some more stuff, it's really up to you if you want to write this one, i won't push you too but i felt like i had to re-write it

THANK YOU RHANK YOU THAKN YOU !!!!!!!!!!

-chatty anon

Hehe, alright, I've finally got your hcs for you. First link is to the AMAB version, second is to AFAB. They are almost exactly the same (the only real differences happen in like the last third of the fic and they're very small), so don't worry about missing out on anything in either version 👍. Regardless, I hope you guys like these. <3

🔞 The Player's Examination ft. 2BDamned 🔞

(TW: SMUT,!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!, Yandere, Obsessive Behavior, further warnings under cut.)

(Additional TWs: Fondling, slight Fingering/Hand-jobs, Monsterfucking (since he's an inhuman grunt). It's pretty tame for smut, since the original request said "not full smut" if I didn't want to, so I thought this was a good balance. I also gave Doc a tongue piercing, because why not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

[AMAB Version]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[AFAB Version]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[saltymongoose]

HIIIIM GLAD YOURE DO8NG OKAY SALTY!! WER WETE ALL WORRIED ABOUT YOYU WELCOME BAVK❤️❤️❤️ I HOPR THINGS SORT OUT!! IWIL BE LOKING FORWARD TO NEW WRITINGS

-With love, Chatty anon

Omfg, hello Chatty Anon!!!! And thank you so so much, this is very sweet of you. :') <3 It's been kind of a slow process, but things are falling into place now.

As for writings though, I will be posting something new in a bit, so I hope you enjoy it! (´꒳`)♡

[saltymongoose]

HI ITS ME CHATTY ANLN HELLO HELLO HELO UMMM SO

ive been kind of sick lately, so iw sorry for nkt talkkng here much :( i make sure to read stuff wverysay though

i wanna know how the boys would reacy to a very weak player, physically weak, and make them crusty too

crusty musty weak scoliosis acne filled coralines dad neck bad eyesight undiagnored neurodivergent sweaty tired player who doesnt bother even getting out of bed, 0h phone 24/7, falling asleep from 3 PM to 8 PM and bad schedule, anxiety, hurting legs, sore, try to pop their fingers and its like those boys just popped right out kf rheir habd, drools in their sleep, stuffy nose, somehow dkesnt manage to speak loud, bad attentjion spam, laughs at your mom jokes, doesnt turn the lights of their room on EVER, BAD BAD POSTURE, somehow is still good at the game and with the strings, fast walker, most pale mf you've ever seen, darkest bags under their eyes, somehow complains about their ankle hurting, artist, and cant sleep still

would the boys still love them😝😝😝😍🥰🥰🥰❤❤❤❤❤💗💓💓💞💕💕💖💖💖 btw ily

-chatty anon

Hey Chatty, I hope you're recovering well. <3 Don't worry about not sending stuff in all the time, you aren't obligated to by any means, I'm just happy to hear from you whenever you feel like sending stuff in. :)

As for how the boys would react to a "crusty, weak Player" that you described so eloquently: yes, the boys would still love them. Honestly, someone like you wouldn't usually survive in Nevada for very long, so I think they're more endeared to your "weakness" than they realize. They'd also be concerned too, of course, and probably try to help you better your health and habits as much as possible, but it's from a place of care.

This means trying to fix your sleep schedule by having you actually go to bed at an appropriate time (maybe bribing you with cuddles, cause they think that might work) and distracting you from your phone. I can also see Doc looking into medication to help your anxiety (but that might take a while since he's hesitant to try any grunt-centered treatment options on a human), and he probably lectures you on your posture cause that's simply not good for your spine. Deimos would probably exploit your sense of humor by telling more bad "your mom" jokes around you just to hear you laugh, and I can definitely see Sanford coming up with some sort of meal plan to help you out on the nutrition side of things. (And maybe massages to help with your soreness? I feel as though he'd be able to do that).

Hank really doesn't know what to do here (a side effect of not caring about anyone else ever), so he'll settle on trying to mimic whatever the others do to the best capacity. He can't tell good jokes or cook, but he's very good at making sure you follow whatever the others are nudging you towards. (i.e. Pulling your shoulder back to make you sit up more, pulling your phone out of your hand and replacing it with his own, or just yanking you into his lap when he thinks you should get some sleep without any distraction.)

Overall, they try to be helpful if you allow them (provided you're fine with them being mother hens), but in any case, you being "crusty" and objectively weak wouldn't stop them from liking you. They're your vessels and you're their Player, their most favored and adored. Their love for you is unconditional, so you shouldn't have any doubts.

[saltymongoose]

hi itz me again lolololol!!!

imagin.. stereotypical beach episodes but self awar au and like.. reader finds cool swimsuit that finally fits them and just goes whatever, cliche besch episode starts as the boys nosebleed multiple times bc of the reader in auch clothing🥰🥰🥰😍😍😋😋

-chatty anon

I'm not even sure if there are beaches in Madness' Nevada, but the state has some so why not lol. Nevada's probably blazing hot regardless, so wanting to cool off in the water is understandable. You'd probably have to make a legitimate plan for it since I'd imagine the boys don't make a point of bringing swimsuits with them (if they even have some to begin with). The fact that you'll be wearing one as well is a subject of hidden tension amongst them, cause they have to figure out what you'll be wearing and what they should do to get it to fit you properly cause of different sizing, and then behind that there's the question of what you'll actually look like wearing it and wet from the water and-

It's a whole fiasco for them mentally, to say the least.

But nothing could prepare them for what it was actually like to see you with it on. And it doesn't even matter what you choose to wear, it could be anything from a micro bikini or a full wetsuit, all that matters is that you're in it. Honestly, it kinda concerned you when you first walked out onto the sand and they just silently stared at you for a few minutes. (Was there something wrong with the way you put it on? Did the seams you stitched start to tear?) They snap out of it after a time, but in their minds, they're still freaking out. It's almost like they can trace every curve and line of your body with their eyes, and when you actually get into the water the effect gets worse (or better, if you're them I suppose). Try as they might they just can't stop staring; you're just so pretty in every way imaginable, the look of you in a swimsuit only confirms how perfect your body is as well. (Because they spend so much time looking at your face, they've already affirmed how beautiful your visage was weeks before). It's the kind of image they want to imprint into their minds forever.

Aside from the blatant ogling, the rest of the "beach day" goes as normal. You swim with them (well, the main three at least, Doc decides to sit under the umbrella and make sure no one steals your stuff), build sandcastles (this time with Doc), have water fights, and eat whatever you've managed to scrounge together in kind of a picnic. Although, actually applying sunscreen was a little tedious. They appeared to fight over who should help you with your back before you eventually chose one of them (some physically, guess who) and would refuse to let anyone other than you help them. (Which you found flustering cause it's not like they looked bad in their swimsuits either.) However, it was still a fun day of relaxation for you all, and the boys will likely be quite keen on doing it again, so you should hang onto that suit they fixed up for you. You'll likely be using it a lot.

[saltymongoose]

yk sometimed i like to imagine what cuddlong with the boys in the self awar au woulf be like.....

So the player is sitting at the couch yk, just minding their own business and decide to just open their arms at one of the boys!!!! let me amk my hcs (lobgest thing from me ever)

If you opened your arms at Hank, i feel like he wouldn't hesitate to walk over and snuggle against you like a big cat, instead just a buff murderer eho loves u a lot and purrs loud (prob tries to bite your shoulder while you pet him tbh)

If you opejed your arms at Deimos, he'd be super surprised at first like "huh???? m?? me????" and all blushy and shocked before going over to you and layong against your lap like a lovestruck puppy, pet him and hes all yours.......

If you opened your arms at Sanford, i feel like he would be a lil more flusterrd!!! i mean.. crush just asked to cuddle.... sits down nezt to u and puts arm arouns yiu, and lets you rest your head on his shoulder.... You can hear the purrimg... and feel.. and like nuzzle against him and hes melting

AHAHAB NLW DOOCCC<333 I lov 2bdamned like i wouod buy a shirt of "i <3 2bdamned" md walk around with it ok ok ok

2B would probably be confused for a few seconds befor cstching on and going in to hug you happily, after a few seconds it ends with u sitting on his lap while he does som papers bc he loves you

UMMM THOSE WERE MY HEADCANONS!!! I FELT LIKE WRITING THEM FOR DAYS NOW!!! THERE U GO!! IM SORRY IF THE TYPING SOUNDS DIFFERENT BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A GPPD DAY ILY❤❤❤

-with love, chatty anon

Agjklf Omfg these are fantastic, Chatty Anon! Thank you for this, I love them. :D You're completely right, Hank's definitely like a big cat, probably covering your entire body with his as he smothers you. You can't hear or feel anything except for him as he presses as close to you as possible, with his loud purrs echoing in your ears and the coldness of his jaw as he nuzzles into you. He's so happy with your invitation that you can even feel his hands trembling against you.

Deimos would probably find himself the happiest he's been in a long time when he's lounging in your lap (only after getting over the shock of you making the first move for some affection for a change). I can see him laying down on you with his arms wound tight around your waist, purring as he buries his face into your stomach and you pet him. He's just so happy to have all of your attention like this, even more so because you wanted to do this with him wholeheartedly. It's a definite sign that you must return his love for you (something that all of them take from you wanting to cuddle with them, tbh). He'll even reach up and put your hands back on him if you stop for a moment, just a total lovesick puppy who's aching for every touch you're willing to give him.

And Sanford, he's so incredibly sweet with you. It's hard to believe that he's an experienced mercenary and trained killer from the way he's softly purring while he pulls you closer to him, almost to the point where you're half in his lap. You can hear his heart beating when you rest your head on him and he makes a cute flustered noise when you wrap your arms around him and squeeze him affectionately.

I'd also like to add that Doc would totally be purring the entire time he has you in his lap. It's a lot softer than the others' are so only you can hear it, and he generally tries to control when he purrs happen since he finds it a little embarrassing to show a "baser" instinct like this (especially since it can be construed as a weakness, depending on who he does it around). But he can't help it when you're with him like this, his genuine happiness and love for you just makes him surrender to it. He also probably gives you little forehead kisses if his mask isn't on and holds your hand the entire time too. (It slows his efficiency at his work but he doesn't care in the slightest.)

(Sorry for adding so much onto this, I've just got major brainrot from these hcs you made. They're just so good!! 💕)

[saltymongoose]

MY WELCOME BACJ MESAGE DIDN'T COME THROUGH BRUI N HDRD IM HERE HELLOOOOOO SALTY WELCOMR BACK❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💞💞💝

-With love, Chatty anon

Ayy thank you Chatty lol, I really appreciate the warm welcome! :) It's great to see you, btw. <3333

[saltymongoose]

oh my GOOOOOOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I WOKE UP AND INSTANTLY OPENED TUMBLR OH MY GOD I WAITED FOR THIS FOR SO LONG IM WAVING YOU AROJD AND BITJNG YOU AND SHAKING MY HEAD SHAKING YOU LIEK A DOG TOY OH MY GOD OMGOMGOMGOMG YESDDDDDS YESSSSNI LOVE IT I LOCD I LOVEE I LOVEEE I L8VE 2BDAMNED❤❤❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I LOVE DOC SHIRT🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤❤❤💥💥💥🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 YESSSSDD YEDDDSSSDDD JUMPING AROUND HOPPING AROUND THE ROOM RAAAHHHHHHH RAHHHHHHY RAHH IM SHAKING IM DOINTG HAND MOTIONS I AM DROOLING EYES POPPED OUT TOBGUE ROLLING OUT AAWWWWWOOOOOOOOGA HELLOOOOO DOC TIPS HAT ADJUSTS TIE STOMPS FOOT AWOOOO ABRK BARK BARK BSTK WOOF WOOF EOOF EOOF ARF ARF SRF SRF GRRR AHRHHRHRGRH ARHHR RAHHHH RAHH🐈🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐶🐶🐶 YESSS I LOEV TI I LOVE IT I LOVE IT💥💥💥❤❤❤❤❤❤🔥🔥🔥🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬💥💥🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🔥🔥I LOEV I LOVE IT I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE IT I LLLOOV3🔥🔥 THE WRITING IS SO GOOD MY CLOTHES FIDDAPEARED THEY FAFED AWSY THEY FLEW AWAY OMG YESDSDDDD YESSS YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB IT WAS SO WORTH THE WAITING YES IM ROLING AROUND THE BED IM JUNPIGN IM TWIRLING KY HAIR AND KICKING MY FEET GIGGLING HOLDING THE PHONE TO MY EAR WOOOOOOO FUCK YEAHHHHYYYY IM ACTING LIKE A LITTLE BLOND GIRL TALKING TO HER BEST FRIDND RIGHT NOW FUCK YEAGHHHHHH I HEART DOC!! I❤ DOC!!! SHWOS OFF NY I ❤ DOC SHIRT YESSSSSSS WOOOOO SUFDENLY HAS THOSE POITNED FINGERS FOR CHEERING EITH I ❤ DOC AND SALTY'S WRITING YESSSS SLAYY I LOEV YOU I LOVE YOU IM CLAPPUNG MY HANDS, THROWING THE POPVORN OFF MY LAP SCREAMING WOOOOO FUCK YEAHHHYH AAAAGGGGHHRHRGGHGGG AARRRR RAAAAHHHHHH FUCI YEAHHH EAT THIS TRACK BITCH!!!! WOOOOOOOO0 HEEELLL YEAH I LOVE YOU AND DOC AND YOUR WRITING I AM LICKING THAT WRITING LIKE A LOLLIPOP I AM EATONG TI UP QND LEAVING ABSOLUTELY NO CRUMBS FUCK YYEEAAAA❤❤❤❤💖💖💖💖🔥🔥🔥🔥🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈❣❣❤❤❤❤💗💗💓💓💞💞💞💘💘💋💋💋💋💥💥💥💥💥💥💯💯💯💯

-With love, Chatty anon

FDJSLSF OMFG HI CHATTY!! 😳 Haha, I was honestly hoping to hear some of your thoughts after posting the one-shot, but I never could've expected this much of a response. I'm just speechless, wow. („• ֊ •„)❤❤❤❤

I don't even know what to say. You have no idea how happy I am that you love my writing so much, and how glad I am that the time spent waiting for this was worth it to you. I'm just absolutely elated (somehow an understatement), this is honestly one of the best pieces of feedback I've ever received lmao. Thank you for this, it made my day! 💖💗💕♥️💞❣️💝

(And P.S.: I love you too (and so does Doc ofc lol) <3)