#chatty.alfred

[baritoneblvd]

they might be giants will never fail to amuse me because. they’re just two guys. just two dudes. you could see them in the checkout aisle at kroger and never guess that they wrote the mickey mouse clubhouse theme song

[baritoneblvd]

as it turns out, centering your story around a talking blue reindeer furry when you are also autistic causes you to hyperfixate all of your energy into researching every little detail about reindeer to the point where you feel insurmountable rage every time sometimes gets a teeny weeny detail about reindeer incorrect.

first things first: reindeer are NOT your average white-tailed deer who happen to live in the tundra. the amount of times ive seen people call a white-tailed deer or red elk a "reindeer" because it's standing outside in the snow, or someone dressed them up in jingle bells to pose as santa's reindeer for a christmas celebration, infuriates me to my core. appearance wise, reindeer (aka caribou) are VERY different from other species of deer! if you ask me, they look more like moose or even horses with the addition of deer features like the antlers and bobtail. reindeer do NOT have the black noses associated with other species of deer (sometimes they have white noses!)(the 1964 rudolph special is especially guilty of this and sidenote that special has no doubt altered the public's perception of reindeer for the rest of time), and they have a distinct white patch of pelt on their chest, although it's less noticeable for some subspecies. oh yeah, reindeer are incredibly diverse! there's multiple subspecies of reindeer all across the northern hemisphere, over ten in fact, ranging in both height and coloration. no two reindeer are the same!

secondly, there's the little things. it's COW and BULL, not DOE and BUCK, just like how cows or moose are gendered. CALF, not FAWN. if all of santa's nine reindeer are male, then they'd all be transmasc because bull reindeer shed their antlers in december. ok admittedly the second one doesn't piss me off it's just funny that all of santa's reindeer are trans icons and we love that for them. also, both male and female reindeer have antlers! the months in which they shed and regrow their antlers varies between the two sexes, although this can also be dependent on the subspecies; pregnant reindeer may even retain their antlers for longer to protect themselves and their growing calves!

anyways i hope you all enjoyed my impassioned rant/lesson about reindeer. hopefully this helps at least ONE person. i cannot take this blatant disrespect of my favorite hooved blorbos any longer

[baritoneblvd]

so me personally i dont want to have to confront the reality that the mandatory thunderclan pov's parents are first cousins so instead i thought. what if thunderclan had a mini feminist revolution between arcs 8 and 9 where cats started to seriously consider the idea of establishing a permanent caretaker job, like what ferncloud and daisy served as for a long time. squirrelstar and ivypool- both of whom had to deal with the challenges of being subjugated to stay-at-home momming in the warriors society- were more than happy to introduce this new job to any willing cat, which happened to be fernsong and sorrelstripe's respective litters. nightheart and sunbeam are actually the parents of moonpaw and her sister (honestly im surprised that didnt happen in canon like it seems like such an obvious choice), and bayshine and thriftear offered to care for moonpaw so that sunbeam wouldn't be stuck in the nursery and could get more acquainted with her thunderclan clanmates (plus her and nightheart would still be a little shaken up by moonpaw's sister's death). same thing happened with flipclaw and myrtlebloom; those kits' parents i hc as bumblestripe and cherryfall since they were sorta implied to have a thing in arc 7 when rosepetal was talking to bristlefrost shortly after the latter's rejection. it's a cool idea that opens up a lot more possibilities for cats to contribute to their clans rather than having to choose between being a warrior or a healer!

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there is no way tumblr is a real social media platform i was snooping through the comments of a post commenting on the criminalization of marijuana in the usa and this one guy called op the r slur so i went to his account and not only is his banner a fucking wall of machine guns but his reblogs are nsfw roleplays decked out in pink coquette i wish i was making this shit up

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if there is a god in heaven can He please transform me into a dog. bark bark woof grrrr ruff woof arf owooooo

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i may be stupid but why are 85% of the trans guys I see online all poor, artists, and potheads 😭😭 surely there has to be some correlation

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someone plz tell me they’re not the only person who imagines their ocs in the same settings they are in in that moment like school or work, like just going about their day, and then begin assigning their ocs different work positions and extracurriculars and if they’re at the top of their class or they’re just barely passing or what drink they get from starbucks even if they even GO to starbucks or am i just insane