How I’ve been feeling lately...
In this picture I am posing with my niece Monroe. I attached this because my nieces, as well as my whole family make me feel really good. This last weekend I got the chance to go home and spend time with my nieces, my mom, my dad, my sister and brother and their spouses. It’s almost like my family is a big group of friends. When I was younger I saw my family as just any other family, being forced to spend time with them was draining and always made me feel inadequate because I couldn’t live up to what they wanted me to be. But I have recently realized that those feelings of inadequacy were just my teenage brain not giving my family the credit they deserved. After I turned 18 and received a few of the privileges of being an adult and my family stopped trying to control me, I realized they were only trying to protect me all those years. Since then they have all become my best friends. I call my mom daily which makes me feel connected with her and never truly alone. College has been a scary and difficult time for me. I have faced a lot of struggles with being lonely and feeling like a disappointment. It is hard to not internalize these feelings and see them to be true. Going home this last weekend was a good reset. I got to spend time with people that make me smile and know the real me. They made me feel elated and confident in myself again. They also help me to realize that not everything is the end of the world, at the end of the day I still have an amazing family I can always turn to.
So in short, I have been feeling relieved that I got to go home, the entire experience has made me feel joyful and at ease and confident in myself.